Huh... What the hell's this? I have the script in one hand here, but... there's another sheet of paper I don't recognize. Hm... 'Author's Note'...? Oh, the mysterious asshole wants me to read this before the main attraction, right? Guess I'd better do it; I'm too weak to rise against the machine.
Okay...
"Sonicgx8344: Good to be back, heh heh... Oh, and... nice to meet you?
Some Random Tosser: Don't know who Agathangelos is? That's good news, my boy! And hmm... 'By the way, I advise against using onomatopoeia in between asterisks to convey sounds people are making while they're speaking. It makes the text look script-like and unnatural.' *Narrator looks at script in hand* Alrighty."
... Well, that's it. Odd; I figured he'd have more to respond to if he made me read this... Wait, why am I still bold? The 'Author's Note' is over.
... Ah, screw it. Let's get back to the story all two of you are here for...
A familiar scene from one mere day ago. One day, yet it seemed more like a year.
"I-I miss her so much, Lindy... B-But I-I'm such a horrible daughter! Every day... I forget more and more about her. I'm forgetting her face, forgetting her voice... Pretty soon, I may not even remember anything..."
"Geo..."
"I-I never... got to say goodbye to my own mother... After everything she went through to raise me, I never thanked her..." Feeling somewhat dizzy, the imposter rested her head upon her girlfriend's shoulder. "'G-Goodbye' is such a permanent thing... I don't think I could've said it if I had the chance... T-That's why I don't want you to leave, Lindy..."
The ASIC member's eyebrows clearly displayed how troubled she felt; what should she do? "W-Well... This isn't goodbye. I... I could never leave you, Geo... So, no need for goodbyes!"
The imposter sniffled. "Lindy... That's the problem: W-What if we never get the chance to say goodbye? Things happen so fast... One snap of the fingers, and bam! Everything's different... forever."
"... Geo, I swear to you, I'll be back... Everything'll be fine." The villain suddenly put on a smirk. "One day isn't enough to do me in! I'm a fighter, babe."
The purple-haired imposter looked straight in her girlfriend's eyes, felt the warmth they exuded... and grew a slight smile. "... L-Lindy..."
The two shared a soft peck on the lips. "... We're gonna get through this, alright? Nothin' to worry about... Heh, though, I guess we really haven't been away from each other for a single day since meeting, huh?" Feeling nostalgic, Underling gracefully kissed her girlfriend's hand. "Best year of my life, Geo... And I promise you, nothin's gonna change! Hell, way I see it, things'll only pick up from here!"
...
"Gee, she's heavy for a skinny broad. Packin' away the pounds, eh?"
"Nah, yer just weak, buddy. Besides, she's da Cee-Pee-You Candidate of Planeptune; prolly has hidden muscles under that skirt."
"Dang... What I wouldn't give to GET under that skirt..."
"C'mon man! This bitch is one of the enemy! You can't be getting hot over the girl who helped your family starve ta death!"
Nepgeo's eyes slowly inched open, her vision hazy and burning from the bright sunlight. She could feel her head scraping against stone, and two strong hands dragging her by the legs.
"Wha...?"
One of the men, a grizzled bald man dressed in rags and wearing a yellow piece of cloth on his head, turned at the girl's stunned sound and grimaced. "Yo, she's awake."
The other, a larger man with a massive rounded nose, shook his head. "Neh, who cares. She's in no condition to scream, let alone fight us off. Candidate or not, she's lucky enough to have survived that crash... Hm, how are the others?"
The purple-haired girl groaned with pain as she turned her head slightly to the right. She could see yet another bulky man dragging two other girls, one with long blue hair and dramatic red scarf, and the other a really small girl with a funky large hat. They showed no signs of life.
The third man looked down at these two bodies he was dragging and shrugged his shoulders as nonchalantly as possible. "Nah clue. They seem to jus' be humans, though. Didn't stir when I moved 'em. Doubtful they're unharmed... or even alive."
"Hm... Well, did you check their pulses?"
"I don't know how..."
"... Idiot... Ah well, that doesn't matter. May as well be dead. Heh, pity... Serves 'em right for sidin' with these bitches." The bald man then turned once more to look at the dazed Nepgeo. "Sorry 'bout your friends, Purple Sister, but seems they didn't make it... Oh, but don't worry: we're takin' you to someone who will keep ya safe an' sound."
The purple-haired imposter, unable to even cry, reached deep inside of herself to utter out three simple words. "... I-I'm... nnnnnnnot... N-N-NNNNepgear..." However, this proved to be too much, and darkness moved in to claim her mind once again.
Even better, her words fell on deaf ears. "Yep, Alex will be mighty grateful for us bringin' you to him..."
Nepgeo closed her eyes...
...
ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
"... W-Well, what are we waiting for? Run like hell!"
With IF's call, everybody in the party began to run past the remains of the rock... and Chip.
Well, not everybody I guess.
The transformed Neptune looked directly at not only her two bodyguards, but the other six as well. "We can't just have thousands of hostiles chase us all the way up the mountain. We need you to hold them off for at least a few minutes."
A female soldier with a shaved head and clad in army fatigues (must be one of Noire's bodyguards) struck her fist to her chest as a sign of understanding. "It shall be done, Lady Purple Heart. We will buy all the time you need."
The goddess smiled. "Thank you. Now, make sure each and every one of you make it out alive. I expect to see you all at the summit, understand?"
All eight nodded, though with differing levels of enthusiasm and commitment. With no time left, Neptune and the others continued on.
Crush 'Em All
The two bodyguards assigned to each goddess now needed to show off just what they were capable of in order to survive. But hm, more than that... they needed to sell themselves to you, as well... E-Er, wait, no!... Guess I should talk about them now, huh? *sigh* I really don't want to...
Representing Planeptune were, as mentioned before, that Saturn Shiro guy and that doofus with a giant egg... er, Bimmy Hatchet, I mean. Shiro was a martial artist extraordinaire... That's how he's billed, at least. I heavily doubt it, but if he's good at hand-to-hand combat, that'd certainly help.
Standing as still as a statue closest to the oncoming army, the kung-fu master with the afro-esque hair channeled his inner chi(?). The peasants were confused at first, but after exchanging confused glances, they figured he was just some idiot frozen in fear and attacked. One rotund man swung a makeshift axe at the master's neck... but the weapon's arc suddenly stopped.
"W-Wha?" the assaulter gasped with a humorous dopey voice. Shiro had stopped the axe with his pinky finger directly on the blade. That sole finger felt like a brick wall.
"... Hwa!" Saturn emitted a sharp hiss, flicking his pinky and sending the axe flying. In a flash, the rotund man was rolling down the hill, colliding with some of his allies. Crap, that dude's scary.
Bimmy was... less efficient. Truth be told, he wasn't fit to be a bodyguard; a certain blue hedgehog was the better candidate, but no one had heard from him for months... no, a year even. He held his giant egg like a club, swinging threateningly while sweating up a storm.
However, the martial-arts master saw something in Bimmy... even if the boy didn't see anything in himself.
"I-I don't like this! C-Can we really hold them off!?"
Shiro didn't even glance at the scared egg-boy. "We must."
Moving on...
"Back, foolish mortals! Unless you all desire to burn in hell by nightfall!" a booming voice bellowed from a pale-white muscular man, a vein in his forehead nearly ready to burst. Chained blades appeared to be seared into the flesh of his arms; he was a warrior, through and through. Not a happy-looking dood either...
"We're not afrai' of ya, bal-day!" a thin villager snarled, knives brandished at the ready. He and his cronies lunged at the angry pale guy... Bad idea.
"Pathetic humans..." the warrior growled. He rolled expertly out of the way, then used the chains tied to his arms to knock the men off their feet. "I am Cratus! Any who dare defy the God of War shall perish before my might!" Whew, this is getting corny... Yep, this sonuvabitch claims to be divine... but it's all a crock of shit. Love or hate him, though, he's brought success to Lastation, and so S.R.A.T.S. recommended him as one of Noire's bodyguards.
He is most certainly not omnipotent... as evidenced by the rebels that managed to latch onto his back as he boasted. "We gots him! Don't let him go, boys!"
"Unhand me, vile cretins!"
An ugly-looking peasant reared back a bayonet, preparing to impale Cratus right through the stomach. He was helpless under the weight of nearly twenty heavy bodies. It looked bad for the poor bald pissed dude...
"Duck," called the stern woman in cliche army camouflage from earlier. A second later, a swift boot knocked away each clutching rebel, sending them (predictably) tumbling down the ramp. "Hmph." With a cocky but admirable air about her, the soldier lit a cigarette, took a puff, and tossed the deadly recreational drug away. More peasants now flocked to her, swinging away with deadly intent. Unflinching, she used several CQC holds to quickly disarm the idiots. Momentarily victorious, Cratus looked at his savior and merely grunted.
This soldier was Natalie Hail, the highest-ranking female of her troop. No one knew her back-story, but most agreed that it was probably cliche and tragic. Whatever her deal, though, it didn't change the fact that she was one reliable chick to have on your side.
"L-Look out!" Bimmy cried. Nat turned just in time to see a few peasants aim their crossbows and fire. With an elegant grace, she leapt out of the way of the oncoming arrows, executing a marvelous military roll. Cratus, snapping himself out of his annoyance, swung out the chains from his arms once more, somehow grabbing the arrows in midair and flinging them back towards the peasants. The weapons instantly exploded into several splinters, and the men were sent running away through their own massive army.
Great... Projectile weapons are coming into play now. Oh well, as long as they continue to be dealt with as easily as those just now...
Anyways, due to the rapidly changing dynamic of the relationship between Lastation and Planeptune, these four bodyguards had formed a sense of camaraderie... well, in their own particular way, at least. Definitely not the most, er, talkative allies ever, y'know? Still, they were essentially on the same side at this point...
"Hmph..." A grizzled man with immense facial hair puffed a cigar as he kicked three men away. "I'm not about to lose to those Lastation wannabes. C'mon, Hank!"
A middle-aged man with a long face and chin stubble scratched the back of his head. "Lose? Since when was this a competition? Listen, I've covered wars y'know, and when allies started fighting for dominance... well, it made for some high-scoring photographs, lemme tell ya."
Meet the two representatives of Leanbox! The first man was Femme Sandiego... er, yeah, he's as subtle as he sounds. He's one of the few remnants of the Leanbox Glourious Basterd Troupe (or LGBT for short), which was disbanded many years ago after a little 'mishap' with one Meister Chief and Femme's former partner, Markz Phenix. On his own, Sandiego wasn't very outstanding; he had always lived in the shadows of his teammates, and, although he wasn't present at the LGBT's last mission, he was seriously demoted after the ordeal. For the record, Meister Chief was demoted alongside him, and now worked bit security jobs. Phenix, however, was put into a high-security prison... and remains there to this day, never to be released under any circumstance...
But I digress... Whew, what was with that random trailing off of this script? I swear I didn't intend to branch off like that... You remember that I'm reading all this in real-time, correct? The words appear to me as I read... I still don't understand it, but oh well...
E-Er, since Femme was demoted because of a mission on Lastation, he's perhaps held a slight dislike towards all of the nation's inhabitants. "Screw 'em. I could give two shits about those 'allies' of ours." Yeah, slight dislike.
Long-faced dude, a man by the name of Hank East, shrugged and took out a handheld camera. "Whatever you say, buddy. Just don't get yourself killed... or, at least don't get your guts on the lens." Snap! What, he's taking photographs of villagers about to murder him?
With the butt of a rifle, the 'fallen' soldier whacked a few men that approached. "It's you who should be worried, bub. What's a freelance photographer doing being a bodyguard for Lady Green Heart? Shouldn't you be taking pictures of dogoos or something?"
Hank bent his knees to get a new angle on the horde of oncoming peasants and snapped another picture. "I can take care of myself, pal!" Apparently content with his photo op session, the balding man reached out and grabbed an incoming enemy by the hair. "Hrgn!" A quick raise of his right leg sank his knee directly into the peasant's nose, knocking him out instantly. Then, Mr. East followed that up by bringing his left fist as far back as possible and blasting the poor man again in the face. He rag-dolled into the crowd, taking a bundle with him. "This isn't just body-fat I'm storing, lemme tell ya."
Femme shook his head as he rolled his eyes. He simply went back to fending off the troops with his makeshift bat. Peculiar fellows indeed...
And last... and maybe least, were the two representatives of Lowee...
"..." a familiar boy in green... spandex didn't say as he tossed a boomerang at mach speed.
"Gack!" Geez, what's that thing made out of? It's knocking down the Yellow Bandanas like dominoes!
... Oh wait, everything's been knocking them down.
A-Anyways, this appears to be the same boy seen as a Lowee peacekeeper, all the way back in an earlier chapter of the last fic. Surely you remember? Oh well, rereading is good... Hm, regardless, he must've gotten a promotion.
"..." Yeah, not much of a talker. To be frank, I'm not even certain on what his name is. The script isn't helping; very vague all around. I think it was something like Bink or Sink or Think or Binyamin... er, it doesn't matter.
*sigh* One more... Oh, another female.
"..." Without... a word, the woman (clad entirely in her iconic yellow and orange power suit) shot nonlethal waves of energy at the peasants that had rose to meet her. One blast of the weapon sent several men- you guessed it- flying. "..."
Yep, another loudmouth... Her name is Sumas Nara (extremely subtle, huh?), a self-proclaimed space mercenary popular in Lowee. Her career had been one success after another... that is, until... well, she didn't like to talk about it. From that day on, her exploits were dramatized into popular games, comics, and pretty much any form of media you can think of. All was well until a really shitty fanfic author was put in charge of one of her tie-in games, and wrote her into the most misogynistic plot ever on Lowee consoles (and that's saying something). Now, she just does whatever she can to distance herself away from that horrible story that nearly derailed her entire merchandise chain.
... Listen, I don't like all this clunky exposition so far, so I'll let them do the rest of the talking.
"..." "..."
*sob*
... No clue why the script is focusing on these nobodies, but guess we should just put our faith in it for now. Must serve some purpose...
The eight bodyguards stood their ground with relative ease, considering hundreds of peasants had been running up the path. However, being completely inexperienced with combat, a majority of the Yellow Bandanas were too cowardly to approach their opponents. Thus, ten at the most would step up at any one moment. Now, however, both sides stared at each other from a fair distance.
"Cowards! How dare you waste our time with your petty squabble! Man up and face us!" Cratus screamed at the top of his lungs, his blades now firmly in hand.
Femme took another puff from his cigar. "I suggest you all turn around and go home. This will only get uglier from here, folks."
The peasants began muttering amongst themselves, until finally, they all cleared out the center by moving to the left and right-hand sides of the pathway.
Natalie leaned in close to Sumas. "What the hell are they planning?"
The armored mercenary silently shrugged in response, not too sure why this women was talking to her.
A shout could be heard from far down the ramp. "It's ready. Bring it in!" The sound of grinding stone... What's going on?
At the bottom of the pathway looking up towards the bodyguards was a strange contraption made of six cyclic gun barrels, mounted on a pair of wheels... Wait, gun barrels!?
"O-Oh no! R-Run!" Bimmy cried, shrieking at the sight of the steel beast. However, the cowardly boy was too stunned to move. Right on cue, a tall peasant began turning the crank on the Gatling gun, firing out a rapid stream of bullets. This battle just entered an entirely new stage.
Hank was the first to turn tail and run. "Shit! No amount of pay is worth this!" Camera pressed against his chest, he ran further up the mountain pass, running like he really needed to use the bathroom... There's an image I really didn't need floating around my head.
Saturn Shiro swiftly leapt up and knocked Hatchet to the ground, just narrowly avoiding the steady stream. Natalie Hail rolled to the right, and quickly followed East up, ducking occasionally. Sumas, perhaps being a little too sensible, rested on her knees and kept her armored head pressed right against the granite.
Cratus was not one to run away, however. "I can take you all! Such cowardly tactics stand no chance agai-" *Crack!*
"Normally I'd let ya get killed, but my record would look better with no major casualties." Femme snarled, rubbing the side of his hand that had just karate-chopped the 'God of War' in the neck. His eyes then made contact with the boy in green.
Together, they ran on, the elf-boy backing up while deflecting the burst of fire with a shield.
By now, the inaccurate gun had ceased its fire, needing a break to cool down from its overheated status. Oh come on! You mean to tell me that, even with all those bullets, not one hit a single target!? That's an amazing gun the Yellow Bandanas have there.
Anyways, Saturn quickly brought Bimmy to his feet. "We run!" And that, they did. Sumas, too, decided to take that moment to retreat.
The peasant at the crank felt the gun with the back of his hand, I assume to check how hot it was. "Wait... Wait... Okay, firing again!" Buddabuddabuddabuddabuddabudda... Man, I feel like a jerk reading that aloud.
"Crap crap crap!"
"Pay no heed. Concentrate. Run."
Bimmy and Saturn were handling this rather well. Sumas, though...
"C'mon... Move..." she shockingly muttered under her breath, banging against her legs. No use; they would only quiver. "D-Dammit..."
The egg boy noticed that the Lowee mercenary wasn't with them, and looked behind him. "... W-Wait! S-Shiro, someone's still down there!"
Bullets whizzed by the woman, her whole body now petrified by anxiety. Her heart pounding, the world seemed to constrict around her. The walls of the mountain closed in. The pathway rose, now standing at a clean 180 degrees. The hissing of the gatling gun consumed her very being; it was the only sound in the world. Whirring wind. Grinding steel. Roaring fire. Screaming. No air. Tight walls. Help, help, help...
*Chink!* A few bullets finally made contact with the woman's power suit, knocking her face-first onto the ground.
"No!" Without Shiro's consent, Bimmy went sprinting back towards the downed female soldier, diving under the rampant projectiles. "Are you okay? S-Say something!" No response. The boy did the first thing that came to mind and took off the suit's helmet, and was immediately greeted to the sight of a beautiful young woman with blond hair and half-lidded blue eyes. Her breath was erratic, but otherwise healthy; the bullets didn't appear to have penetrated the suit. "I-I'm getting you out of here, okay!?"
"..." Now she's quiet again... Either way, she allowed Hatchet to pick her up, though the weight of the armor proved to be too much for his lanky arms.
The gunfire halted again. The peasants exchanged annoyed looks, and realized that this gun had been a major bust. "Er... C-Charge 'em!" Uh oh.
"Grr... Dang, thiiiiis is heeeavy..." The army grew closer to the helpless Bimmy. This doesn't look too good...
"Hrm!" Ah, Shiro! The martial-artist had made it to help his pupil, grabbing Sumas by the legs as the boy held her by the waist. Together, they ran, the army closing in.
All the while, the woman looked down in shame. "... Why?"
The two didn't hear her over the rushing air and the screams of the peasants. Instead, an idea struck Saturn's afro-esque haired head.
"Egg. Throw it."
Bimmy raised an eyebrow. "What!? B-But it's the only one I brought..."
"Throw."
Unable to fight his master, Hatchet handed all of Nara to Shiro and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small egg. "H-Here goes nuthin', I guess!" With a flash, the egg had grown to tremendous size, defying all laws of physics in the process. That's one giant egg! "Take this!"
The large food item was thrown into the air, moving like a cannonball. With a crash, it collided into most of the army, knocking them down in yet another slapstick antic. That sure bought everybody some decent time... Why didn't they do that in the first place!? Hm... Well, I guess Bimmy's now completely defenseless... Needs of the many and all that, right?
And so the eight victorious bodyguards moved to regroup with the rest of their party...
For the second time that day, an airship hovered towards the mountain range at a slick pace. Oh great, how repetitive...
Let's drop in, I guess. No choice now.
"There it is! Stay put, fair Mr. Mousey! Your saviors have arrived!" Oh... I should've guessed it was Nisa's group, considering I alluded to it at the end of the last chapter... Man, I'm slippin'... Oh well, who cares? "I think you should start preparing the landing gear, little Gusty!"
A small girl behind the wheel turned her large-hat-covered head. "Gust not small!... Landing procedure engaged. Pinpoint safe landing spot."
Nisa, with dramatic flair, looked through a periscope and scanned the surroundings. "Hmmm... W-Wait, hold on! What's that down there? A-A few feet to the left, Gusty!"
The alchemist, sitting in a booster seat, curiously looked out to where the heroine was pointing to. "Wreckage... A lot of wreckage! Looks like entire fleet crashed."
"O-Oh no! Aren't those...!?"
"Gust is sure they made it out fine."
"I-I hope so..."
Sitting quietly in the back was Nepgeo, Gamindustri's own purple-haired imposter (and ascended NPC). If you're just joining us, you must be seriously confused... I-I mean, Nepgeo's entire schtick is that she looks exactly like an HDD-engaged Nepgear.
Biting the nails of her left hand, and lightly twirling the orange-haired anime girl necklace she wore with her right, the girl couldn't help but worry up a storm. "Lindy... Are you alright?" Oh yeah, newcomers should also know that this imposter is dating Underling... Er, but I digress.
The heroine noticed the quivering Nepgeo, and smiled over to her. "R-Relax, Miss Geo: this will be a cinch, both for Lingy and us! Dontcha worry about a thing!"
A small smile. "Thanks, Nisey... Heh, truth be told, I'm also not very good with heights..."
Lightning-quick recap: the past year, Underling, Nepgeo, Nisa, and Gust became unlikely dormmates, so to speak. Both pairs had been caught in... er, "adult" predicaments, and somehow bonded thanks to one embarrassing morning. However, just a day prior to now, Linda received a letter from... ugh, I don't want to say it... which told her that Pirachu had been kidnapped by the Yellow Bandanas... and that she was simultaneously needed somewhere else to save someone close to her. Underling was to report to Lowee to regroup with the sender, and the other three were to help the CPUs and save the rat.
Yea-ha-hah, at least I'm getting good at recapping this crap.
As Nisa looked through the scope, yet another sight caught her attention. "Great halls of justice, look at the path leading up the mountain! It's like... a massive yellow ocean?" Indeed; the mountainside seemed to be utterly consumed by the color yellow. Damn... How many rebels are there?
Gust shook her head. "No time for that. Need to land now."
"R-Right! I don't like the looks of that pathway... Let's circle around, and find another way up!"
The alchemist simply nodded, already planning to do just that.
And Nepgeo's nerves continued to escalate...
...
At the summit of the mountain, two brown-haired young men watched the ship intently.
"Another one, huh? Guess they didn't learn a damn thing."
"Who do you suppose is on it?"
"No clue... and I don't care. I'm taking it down."
"What, bloody giant hail again?"
"... Precisely."
...
"Lord Alex, lookit what we brought in!"
Three girls were dragged into the cave at the mountain's highest point, their lifeless bodies placed beside Compa. "N-Nisa!? Gust!?... Ge-Ge? Wait, n-"
"Shut UP!" Alex yelled, rubbing his head as he entered the cave. He had just returned from starting the rock attack ambush, and his mind was still in a daze over what he had heard about Jade. Shooting an annoyed glance at the men, he grimaced. "Who the bloody hell are you? What do ya want?"
The large man with the rounded nose grinned, his smile eating his entire face. "Got three bodies from that second wreckage, sir! You might be familiar with one of 'em, yep."
The disgruntled brother shook his head, but begrudgingly sauntered over to the girls, his footsteps echoing across the cave walls. "What is i-... Oh, hello theeeeeere..." Wow, that was creepy. Alex's eyes immediately lit up, and he hopped beside the unconscious Nepgeo. "Is that really... you, Nepgear? Damn, I was beginning to think I'd never see you again!"
The bald man rubbed the space beneath his nostrils. "Heh, yep, fished her outta that new wreckage. The Purple Sister, in the flesh."
The irritable brother stared at the unconscious girl for a bit longer, but then his gaze slowly creeped up to the other two. "Hm... Now, who the hell are these two? Why was Nepgear traveling with them? And if she's here... then where the bloody hell are the other Candidates?"
The two bandits looked at each other and shrugged. "Eh, beats me," the round one said casually. "Maybe they all died in the crash. I mean, those two lasses died too, so maybe the others were... imma... aimi... immiluted..."
"Immolated?" Alex raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, dat's the word!"
"... Maybe so, but... what makes you say that these two strangers are dead?"
The two men once again exchanged quick glances. "Huh? Well, they're not moving..."
The irritable brother shook his head, and felt for 'Nepgear's' pulse. "If those two were dead, their bodies wouldn't be here, ya blokes! The hail that brought them down was magic, so they've all been affected. If they died, they would've disappeared into thin air, leaving behind dust and maybe a clothing item or two."
"... And?"
"... They're alive! Goddess, how daft can you tools be!?" Alex detected a pulse in the girl, and then rubbed his forehead. "So, here's what I'm thinking: the other CPU Candidates were not on that airship."
Baldy scratched the hair on his chinny-chin-chin. "... W-Why do you suppose that is, Lord A-Alex?"
The brother gazed in slight wonder at the sleeping girl, realizing that his hopes were as far off as ever. "... These girls have to be human... and honestly, for a hideous airship crash, they made it out better than you'd expect. If human girls can survive, do ya really think goddesses could be killed off that easy?"
"O-Oh... W-Well, we found Nepgear, so-"
"Heh... I don't know who- or what- this is, but it isn't Nepgear. No..." He ran a light hand over her face, and then opened her left eyelid with his fingers. "... She's a fake; an imposter."
'Nepgear' began to stir in her sleep, but didn't wake up. Nisa and Gust continued to show no life.
Alex rested on one knee, starring daggers at the fake version of his programmed love. "Who the hell are you?... Oh well; if I can't have Nepgear, I guess she'd be the next best thing. Keep these three here with that bimbo. I'm needed elsewhere I figure. Might as well win this battle..."
The two henchmen saluted their Lord. "Aye aye, sir!" The large man with the rounded nose, however, quickly grew a dumb-looking perplexed expression. Shocker. "Oh, one question, my Lord!"
"... Yes?"
"When is help going to arrive? What ever happened to that aristocrat you guys have been hangin' aroun' with?"
Alex's brows furrowed. "We had a little help from a boy you tried to pull onto your side. Remember Jade, from Avenir? He told us all about how you three threatened him to support you... He's been tracking your movements ever since!"
"... Aristocrat? You must be mistaken. There was never any aristocrat..."
The two goofs shrugged yet again, and then stumbled out of the cave. The conflicted brother stared down at the girl for a few more seconds, everything in his head a mess. A fake Nepgear, Jade betraying them, an ill-fated rebellion with no preparation... It was enough to kill a man.
"... Damn it to hell!" On his way out, the boy jammed his right fist into the cavern wall, actually leaving a slight indent. "S-Shit!" Apparently so did the wall to his fist. Completely casting aside his apathetic attitude from earlier, Alex went back to the good fight.
"... He's gone. Whew... He was starting to get all touchy-feely..." The purple-haired imposter strained her arms to push herself up. Compa, scared completely silent up until now, widened her eyes at the sight.
"F-Fake Ge-Ge! You're awake! A-Are you hurt? W-Wait, let me check on Nisa and Gust!" The medic crawled over to her two unconscious friends and analyzed the backs of their heads. "Whew, no concussions... Just slight boo-boos. You were in an airship crash?"
Nepgeo rubbed her head and also dashed towards her friends. "Y-Yeah, I guess so. I can't even remember, honestly. Happened too fast..." She reached out with a delicate right hand and felt Nisa's neck for a pulse. After finding it, she did the same for the small alchemist, and was further relieved. "Oh, thank Nepgear they're alright! If anything happened to them, I'd... I'd..."
Compa smiled at the sobbing stranger and rested her hand flat on her back with mother-like tenderness. "They'll be fine, don't worry! Even without my syringe, I will take care of them until all their ouchies are gone!... O-Oh y-yeah, are you friends with Gust and Nisa? I don't remember a fake Ge-Ge... I'm sorry."
Her heartbeat slowing, and her nerves subsiding ever-so-slightly, the purple-haired imposter turned to get her first look at the calming nurse. "Tee hee, yeah, I met them a year ag- Holy cow, you're... you're so adorable!" Energy returning to her body, she quickly sprang forward to hug the nurse. "Oh, and you're so fluffy too~ What's your name, my guardian angel? Ooooh, can I take you home?"
"W-Wah!?... I-I'm Compa... W-W-W-W-What's your name, fake Ge-Ge?"
"You can call me whatever you like, bab-" Before she could finish her stock 'playgirl' lines, another unconscious figure caught her eye, snapping her out of her swooning attitude. "... I'm Nepgeo... Hey, over there... Is that...?"
The medic followed the fake Nepgear's gaze. "Oh, that's Mr. Mouse! I hope he's okay..."
"Mr. Mouse? Hm... W-What happened to him?"
"Another mean guy kicked him into the wall. He was just trying to help me... Is he your friend too? He's on the evil side, but he doesn't seem too bad."
With one glance, Nepgeo knew that this rat was THE rat. "Yeah... Actually, I've been looking for him. Heh, mission accomplished, I guess."
Compa's gaze grew slightly more serious. "... Do you know Underling too? Mr. Mouse and her are partners... or at least were back then. Evil meanies or not, I'm sure she's worried about him."
"... Tee hee, a girl can't dispense all her secrets, right?" At that response, the nurse's eyes widened questioningly. "... Listen, I'll tell ya more later; I can't deny a cute face like yours. But for now... we need to make sure Nisey and Gusty are one-hundred percent! Then, we blow this joint!"
"O-Okay!... B-But, how do we leave? It sounds like there's a battle going on!"
The purple-haired imposter thought to herself as she leaned Gust's head softly on her lap. Nisa and Gust had mentioned a 'Yellow Ocean' on the side of the mountain... Were those soldiers? "... No clue... Improv is my thing, though, so no worries!" That was a lie; she was terrified.
Compa simply nodded, and then began massaging Nisa's shoulders. Gee, I sure hope those two wake up real soon. I have a feeling that once Adrian or Alex returns, there won't be any opportunity to escape...
Hm... Now, we've heard from both Adrian and Alex... but, isn't there a third confused boy?
...
"C-Can we rrrrrrrreally do this!?"
"W-We have to... J-Just don't think about it, okay! I-If we do this, then... we'll be safe from now on."
A brown-haired young man and a woman with long silver hair stood atop a massive rock at a split in the path, overlooking the incoming party of CPUs.
The girl brought her fists up to her mouth in horror. "They fought off s-so many... I-I don't think we ssstand a chance!"
"Y-Yeah... W-Wait, no! Bro's relying on us! W-We can't just give up..." the boy said, feigning courage badly. He held his friend's hand. "... B-Believe in yourself, Rei. I-I believe in you... Let's stick together, and... we'll be okay."
"... O-Okay!" Rei Ryghts, the newest member of the team (and Adrian's most despised lackey), nodded to herself, desperate to form up any courage she could muster. "I-I'm right behind you, Almaz!" That wasn't much.
The brown-haired young man nodded as well, and tightly clutched the magical orb in his pocket. No turning back now...
...
"Branch! Shit, left or right?" Blanc cursed, clutching her weapon with both hands. A trickle of sweat dripped down her forehead; thousands of peasants could be baring down on them by the second.
Vert ran up beside her to get a better look at the surroundings. Both paths didn't seem too drastically different; both continued to wind up the mountain, at least as much as she could tell. "Hm... Well, might as well decide fast! We either all run down one, or we split up."
"Splitting up may be a bad idea." Kei chimed in. "... No takers? Fine. When in doubt, go left. Any objections?" Everyone shook their heads, and the entire party prepared to head onwards.
"H-Hold it!"
A meek voice split the crisp morning air. "The heck was that?" IF asked, her eyes frantically darting all over the place.
"Look! Up there!" Thanks, Purple Heart. Whew, how the hell did everyone else miss the two figures just standing around?
Almaz rose the orb in his hand, and began to wave his arm dramatically... What's he doing? He looks like a street-performer. "YYYYYYou are to go no further, C-CPUs! M-My arcane arts will put an end to your tyranny once and for all!"
Noire leaned her head towards Cave, who just happened to be the closest one to her at the second. "Is this guy for real? He sounds scared shi-"
"Si-Silence! No more talking! J-Just run while you still can, f-foolish c-children!" Almaz closed his eyes and kissed the orb for luck, his hands shaking. Rei continued to hide behind her hands. "... Now... F-Feel the power of my... maaaaaaaaaaaggggggggiiiiiiiiiiiiiic!"
Cave and Chika exchanged a quick look. "Not again... Everyone, get ready!"
Everyone tensed themselves for another rock attack... that never came. "... This is one crappy rockslide, Thunder Tits."
"Yes... By now, a boulder would've been lodged into the ground. Do you think his magic isn't working?"
"That's kinda pathetic."
Almaz's eyes widened as nothing happened, and he quickly turned to his friend. "W-Why isn't anything happening? O-Oh crap, this thing must be busted!"
Rei Ryghts looked at the boy square in the eyes, and nodded. "... L-Let me see the orb, Almaz..."
"H-Huh? N-No! I-I can't let yo-"
"Please, Almaz..."
Reluctantly, the boy passed the mystical orb to the girl. Below, however... the party had a revelation. "Hey, er, guys... why are we just standing here? Let's keep going while nothing's happening!" Smart thinkin', IF. At least someone's using their brain... So, the party ignored the two Yellow Bandanas, and began running up the left path.
"They're... ignoring us?" Rei whispered to herself. That infuriated the quiet girl to no end. "They're... ignoring us!?" Uh oh. The meek woman clutched the orb, focused really hard on her hateful feelings, and waved it across her face.
Below, rumbling began, and Neptune eyed the rock walls above. "So much for that."
Oh, but no rocks were coming down. Instead, a peculiar whirlwind began to form at the feet of Gamindustri's own 5pb. "H-Huh? W-What's happening?"
IF and Cave looked on with widened eyes. "Crap, Lyree!" The brunette beat the SMD Warrior to the punch and dove to knock the pop idol out-of-the-way. Just in time, too, for the small whirlwind instantly grew in size into a full-fledged tornado.
"Oh dear, this doesn't look too good." Mina moaned. Not wasting any time, she grabbed Histoire and ran up, not waiting for something more to happen. However, another twister popped up right in her face, knocking both women right down.
One by one, tornadoes materialized into being; stationery but strong. Five steadily growing cyclones straight outta hell instantly blocked both pathways. "D-Don't get pulled in, dammit! Lyree, are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah... Thanks, IF."
The battle-hardened veteran pulled her lover up, and looked towards Cave, who was dumbstruck at not being able to save Lyrica herself. "There might not be much time until these things start moving. Hell, Who knows how much these tornadoes will grow... We're not losing anyone else!" Roars from down the path reached her ears; seems the thousands of peasants were zoning in fast. What became of the bodyguards? "... Anything you can do to get rid of these things?"
Cave simply nodded. Snapping out of her trance, she pulled out her... guns? "... Leave them to me."
Back on the rock, Almaz and Rei looked at each other in mild shock. "Y-You did it, Rei!"
"I-I did something... I-I used magic!" The silver-haired girl cheered, a smile coming to her face for the first time that day.
*Blam!*
In five fiery explosions, the tornadoes blocking the left path vanished without a trace, and the party ran on without a second thought.
"..." The two Yellow Bandanas stood there for a minute, just staring off into space. When they were ready, Almaz took back the orb and waved it in the air, teleporting them back to the cave...
...
As if to reinforce some type of cliché, eight figures ran up to the split in the path as soon as the two rebel commanders left.
"Huhh... huhh... L-Look guys! Two paths... Oh, the right one is... blocked by tornadoes? The heck is that?" Bimmy Hatchet panted, not accustomed to all this uphill running. You and me both, buddy.
Nat Hail cautiously approached the stationary whirlwinds. "Hmm... Well, they certainly are tornadoes... Why aren't they moving? Oh well, can't just walk in them I suppose. Let's take the left path, ever-"
"Hrrrrggg-ya!" With an explosive crash, the obstacles quickly disappeared before the soldier could finish her statement. Two blades lay where the cyclones had stood, which quickly redacted back towards the party. All eyes turned to see Cratus hunching up his shoulders, breathing heavily. Without a sound, he took a few leaping strides up the path, apparently looking for something on the ground. "Pathetic... Nothing's here."
Sumas, who had finally taken back control of her body, raised an eyebrow from inside her helmet. "... What were you expecting?" Oh, so she's in a talking mood now?
The buff bald man scowled at the air. "I was expecting Experience orbs at the very least. What a waste of my time."
"Heh... What a freak. What kind of idiot expects to find things inside random obstacles?" Femme laughed, crawling on the ground beside him in search of ammunition.
The elf boy in green looked at Hank East, who was busy looking at his watch and tapping his right foot. "Er, ladies, I know how much you like lying on your stomach looking at the hard ground, but we've really gotta get on with this. Remember that army of thousands!? Let's move it!"
Cratus shot a glare at the photographer, but grunted in approval. "I grow weary of this terrain. Let's kill the leader and get out of this hole already."
"What a cheery guy..." Bimmy whispered to the armored space mercenary. Sumas looked at the boy with cold eyes, and simply walked forward. The rest of the party followed suit; heading down the opposite path from the main cast...
... This is either gonna turn out to be a wacky sitcom, or a tragic slaughter... Place your bets now!
"W-Wha? W-Where am I?" the blue-haired heroine muttered as her hazy eyes opened for the first time in an hour. She lay there for a few silent seconds, until a single thought crossed her mind and caused her to spring up. "G-Gusty! Where's Gusty!?"
A large gloved hand found its way to Nisa's shoulder. "Gust is fine... Is Nisa okay?"
The two friends immediately locked eyes, and the taller girl wrapped the smaller one in her arms. "Oh, thank goodness! I'm fine if you are, dear sidekick!"
"You're... crushing... Gust!"
The other two girls gave the friends some time to themselves before they both couldn't contain it and dashed over to them. "Nisa! Gust! Long time no see!" the medic cheered, able to forget the situation at hand for a moment.
The purple-haired imposter cuddled her face against the alchemist's. "There better not be an inch of your body hurt, Gust-cutie! Here, let me check for you~"
"No thank you!"
Ah, how swell everything has turned out!
... Besides the war waging down there! Why isn't the script focusing on that!? If I'm to be chained down and forced to read this, then shouldn't it at least be interesting?
*sigh* Sorry...
Let's wait for these girls to reacquaint themselves... Waiting... Waiting... Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare... Ah, here we go!
Nisa, blushing madly, bashfully removed her face from Compa's chest. "A-Anyways... Wait, we came here for a reason... Oh yeah, w-where's the mouse!?"
"Oh, Mr. Mouse? He's over there," the medic answered, pointing her finger at the wall. "He's still sleeping..."
The heroine and the alchemist nodded to each other. "Mission accomplished!"
Nepgeo raised an eyebrow at the dormant rat. "... Hey, er, should we try waking him up now? Make sure he's still kickin'?"
"G-Good idea! I'm worried..." All four girls ran up to the obnoxious critter, the nurse resting his head on her lap. "Mr. Mouse? Please say something, Mr. Mouse! Please!"
Gust clutched her chin with one hand. "Hmm... Rat's chest is moving. Still breathes."
"Can you hear us, Pirachu? Don't head for the light, my fair rodent ally!"
Slowly, as if by a miracle, the rat's eyes opened slightly. "... C-Compa..."
"Yes? W-What is it!?"
"C-Come *cough* closer..." Yep, just asking for more complaints with '*coughs*' like that.
"O-Okay! I-Is this good?"
"*cough cough* C-Closer..."
"Yes! W-What are you trying to tell us?"
"Clo- *cough*- ser..."
With a grimace, the purple-haired imposter delicately pulled the nurse's head away. "I think that's enough of that. He's fine."
Pirachu leapt up to his feet, sweatdrop sitting loud and proud on the back of his head. "Oh, you're no fun, Chump! What if I were on my deathbed?"
"Well, you weren't, so shuddup!"
Good to see the rat's as annoying as ever... At least he lived; otherwise, Nepgeo and friends getting knocked unconscious would've been all for naught... I wonder how many of you care?
Well, with everything all swell and good, only one important thing remained: getting the hell off this mountainside.
Nisa stretched by the entrance of the cave, looking out. "Hmm... The mountain sure looks taller from up here! Who knows how far down all those people are."
In the background, Compa lowered her head. "... This is all my fault, isn't it? I got kidnapped, and now everyone's fighting!"
"Hey, don't talk like that, babe!" the purple-haired imposter cried, hugging the nurse. "It's those creepy boys' fault!... And I'm sure some blame falls on the rat too."
"What the heck did I do, Chump!?"
Gust took a step beside the heroine and began surveying the terrain. "Battle seems to have been brewing for long time... Kidnapping just sped things up." The small girl's eyes slowly moved from right to left. "... Can use path down there to escape. Must move fast; Gust doesn't trust waiting too long."
Everyone nodded at the alchemist's words. "Yes, I agree! Let us move, fellow heroines!... and mouse..."
Into the storm, the unusual party ventured...
"We're comin', Lindy...' Nepgeo whispered in her head as she once again clutched that anime girl necklace, perhaps trying to communicate with her girlfriend somehow. Were the two ever destined to meet again? "We're comin'..."
Speaking of 'Lindy'...
An airship touched down in Iris Field, right outside Lowee's capital. The doors opened, and out stepped one solitary passenger:
"Hm, Lowee is colder than I remember. Hope Judge shows up quick..." Underling spoke to the empty air, rubbing her hands together to keep warm.
Ah, yes... Linda is meeting with... CFW Judge... to save CFW Magic or something... I assure you, it's all a crock of bull. Trust me, I know...
No one else getting off, the airship left the ground and soared back the way it came... Well, that's peculiar. What, did 'Judge' secure a private vessel as well?
"... No goin' back now. Ah, c'mon, don't keep me waiting here... How hard can a massive robot-thing be to find?" Pretty difficult, if this fic series is anything to go by.
A good ten minutes went by with nothing interesting happening... No surprise, right? At the eleventh-minute mark, however, a handsome boy reared his ugly head. He stared at Underling from a distance, making the villain shuffle her feet uncomfortably.
"... Er, can I help you?"
The boy, with short unkempt dark-brown hair and glasses, smiled a disgustingly charming grin. "Miss Linda, I presume? Truly a pleasure. Did you have a pleasant trip?"
The villain raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Who the hell are you?"
The dark-brown-haired young man bowed like a classy butler. "I am Ganache... Jade sent me here for you."
"Jade?... Okay, now who the hell is THAT? Where's Judge?"
"Judge?... Oh yeeeeeeeeaaahhh... He's that, er, 'massive' fellow, right? Come with me; Jade told me exactly where to go..."
Underling scrutinized the suspicious boy for a moment. None of this rang true in the slightest. Judge hadn't mentioned anyone named 'Jade' in the letter... And, Linda knew better than to follow creepy boys home.
... However...
"... Ah, screw it; already here. Just take me to Judge... Any funny business, and I'll bust yer kneecaps, got it?"
Ganache grinned yet again, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "You can trust me... I'm a gentleman! Trustworthy as they come." Yeah, good one, buddy.
The boy then turned and walked towards the capital, Linda close behind. Oh dear, what the heck is she walking into? Is a chance at saving Magic worth this risk?
...
A large figure emerged from behind a tall pile of rocks: CFW Brave. "Judge? Why would Judge be with Avenir? Be on your guard, Linda..."
... Well, this chapter felt useless... Oh well; according to the script here, the rebellion may actually amount to something next time. I'm not holding my breath, though.
... I'm more concerned with Jade and... CFW Judge...
SHARES:
Planeptune- 11%
Lastation- 15%
Lowee- 22%
Leanbox- 19%
(Yellow Bandanas)- 33%
NEXT TIME: The 'Eye' of the Storm...