Chapter 6,

The sound of Sophie crying woke Jay at 6 am. He rolled over and sighed when he saw the clock. Sophie tended to wake up earlier when she wasn't feeling well, or when she was particularly upset. He reached for his alarm clock and turned it off, he didn't need it now. Then he leaned over and turned off the baby monitor. He slowly rose from his bed and made his way to Sophie's bedroom, bracing himself for another long day.

"Mama, mama, mama," Sophie wailed, standing and holding on the bars of her crib. She was attempting to climb the walls of her crib, but wasn't able to manage. Jay knew it was only a matter of time before they were going to have to switch her into a big girl bed.

Hearing his daughter ask for Erin broke his heart. He just wanted her to stay little forever. "Good morning, princess." He reached down to lift his nearly two year old daughter from her crib and kissed away the tears on her face. She missed her mama so much, and she was too young to understand.

"Hi, daddy." She replied, perking up and laughing at his kisses. This was Jay's favorite part of the day. Every morning since she was a baby, he would get her from her crib. It started while Erin had been breastfeeding when she had noticed that Jay was a little jealous of all the one-on-one time Erin and Sophie had during those first few weeks. She had mandated the first few minutes of the morning as Jay and Sophie time, and they quickly became his most treasured moments.

After he changed her diaper and got her dressed for the day, he brought her into the kitchen for breakfast. As soon as they entered the room, she whipped her head around looking for Erin. On a normal day, while Jay was getting Sophie from her crib and getting her dressed, Erin would be in the kitchen starting the coffee. Tears returned to Sophie's eyes as she noticed the change in her normal routine. "Where's mama?"

"Your mommy isn't feeling too good, Soph." And she doesn't know who you are.

When Erin had asked Hank to stay at the hospital last night instead of him, he had been devastated. After she had the memory of their early days together, he was sure she must have felt their connection. Or at least a spark. And then when she found about Camille and Justin, he had been the one to comfort her. He had held her until she felt asleep in his arms, he had kissed her gently before tucking her in. But when she woke and she asked for Hank to stay, he realized he had just been imaging their connection. Seeing only what he wanted to see. And it broke his heart all over again.

"She's with Grandpa and he's making sure she is all better before she comes home to us!" It was the first lie he had ever told his daughter.

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The nurse woke Erin every two hours throughout the night to record her vital signs and give her pain medications. She had become used to the interruption, and even welcomed the few minutes of quiet it brought.

When was awoken by her nurse at 6 am, the light had begun to shine through the windows. As the nurse measured her blood pressure and heart rate, she watched Hank sleeping peacefully in the cot next to her. Ever since she was a teenager, it had amazed her how relaxed his features became in his sleep. It seemed completely out of character, and she had always reveled in watching him when he fell asleep on the couch in the living room.

She was glad Hank was finally getting some rest. Last night, she had sent Jay home and asked Hank to stay. If she was being honest with herself, she had wanted Jay to stay with her. Even from just the small memory, she could tell they had a special connection. She wanted to explore that more while still in the safety of the hospital, when there was a little less pressure.

But Hank had looked so broken and sad the night before when he told her about Camille and Justin. Having a dead wife and a dead son... She knew he would need to feel needed. She was all he had left, and their relationship needed to be a priority. So she set her grief aside and asked him to spend the night at the hospital instead of Jay.

When the nurse was finished with her vital sign checks and had given Erin two pink pain pills to ease her headaches, Erin settled back into the bed. She had never been able to sleep well when it was light in the room, but after a few minutes of tossing and turning she felt into a fitful sleep.

"It's 3 am. I'm fine," Erin readjusted her position, curling her back into Jay's chest.

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her swollen belly. He leaned in and kissed a spot on the back of her neck. "You're not fine," he said. "You've been tossing and turning all night. What is the matter?"

She didn't want to tell him. She knew if she told him, he would jump out of bed. "Nothing!" She sighed. "Go back to sleep.

He was not convinced. "Not until you tell me what has you up at 3 am."

She realized he wasn't going to let it go. "I want french fries, and a chocolate milkshake." She sighed, embarrassed.

As predicted, Jay jumped out of bed and began to get dressed quickly. "Should I get you a cheeseburger, too?" He smirked at her.

"Jay, I'm sorry to make you run out." She pouted. "Do you still love me?" It was a ridiculous question, she knew. He never minded going out and getting her food in the middle of the night, even when they had to work the next day. He was always 'happy to do his part!' God, she didn't deserve him.

Now fully dressed with his shoes on, he walked over to the bed. He leaned down and gave Erin a soft kiss, "I love you." He leaned down further, kissing her belly even more gently. "And I love you, little man."

"Jay," She signed exasperated, shoving his shoulder playfully. "It might be a girl, you know."

"It's not." He laughed, walking towards the door. "Trust me."

A few moments later, she heard the front door close. Without Jay in the bed, she couldn't find a comfortable position. She also had to pee, so she decided to get up and slowly waddled over to the bathroom.

She sat down on the toilet and began to pee, checking Instagram on her phone mindlessly. Kim had posted a photo of her and Adam at Molly's from earlier that evening. They had tried to get her and Jay to join, but she was exhausted and she just wanted to go home and snuggle up on the couch with her man.

When she was done peeing, she stood and absentmindedly turned to flush the toilet. When she looked down, she noticed the toilet bowl was full of dark red blood. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Tears immediately began to stream down her face as she began to notice blood streaming down her legs. She cried out for Jay, only to realize that he wasn't home.

She grabbed her phone and dialed Jay's number as fast as she could manage, her fingers shaking uncontrollably, the phone unsteady in her hand. "Jay," she said urgently when he answered. "I'm bleeding." She wasn't sure he could understand her words through the tears.

"I'll be right there."

Erin awoke in her hospital bed soaked in sweat and panting. She turned, and in place of Hank, she saw Jay. He was leaning forward and his green eyes were looking at her with genuine concern. "Erin." He said worriedly, "What's wrong?" He reached out to brush her face with his fingers.

"Was I pregnant?" She hoped that wasn't a memory, and that it was just a terrible dream. She could never remember being more scared in her entire life. "Is my baby okay?" She said the words frantically, not fully understanding the gravity of her words. She knew, deep inside, that it was a memory. At some point in the past 10 years, she had been pregnant. She needed the baby to be okay. Before this dream, memory - whatever - she couldn't even imagine being married. Now, she was sitting in a hospital bed with tears in her eyes, bracing herself for more tragic news. The most tragic news of all. She had been pregnant and her baby had died.

Jay looked at Erin. He recognized the terror and concern on her face immediately. It was the same face she had when he returned from McDonald's and found her standing by the door, bleeding and waiting for him to take her to the hospital. She had been terrified then, and she was terrified now. "She's fine, she's okay." He soothed. Seeing her scared should have upset Jay, but instead it calmed him. It gave him hope. She cares, he thought. She cares about our daughter.

Erin was not convinced by his placating words. "Bring her here." Her words came out forcefully, but the fear behind her words was evident. "I want to see her."