Well good news and bad new for AMC and for me this week.

Was excited to hear that Bianca is back in the AMC reboot - although sad that it is Eden and not Christina and therefore no Minx :(

Was excited for me because I've just been promoted to manager! Sad that next month will now be full of various training courses halfway across the country which means a lot of disruption to this story in March, starting this Friday the 1st. Sorry.

SPOILERS - this week - Jackson gets unexpected help tracking down Nathan Henderson, Erica and Krystal give Carol a piece of their mind and the Inquirer hits a new low.

...

JR was pacing back and forth in the cell the guards had thrown him in. He heard a quiet cough and JR looked over briefly to see Dr Stanhope watching through the bars; he hadn't heard him come in.

"JR, I think you need to take a seat." said the Doctor.

JR ignored him and continued his pacing.

"You need to calm down." said Dr Stanhope. "Take a seat and we can have a conversation about this."

JR was too angry to stop pacing; they hadn't heard him when he said he was guilty. They thought he was crazy! The judge had just suspended the trial and JR had been dragged down here.

The doctor's mood was as infuriatingly calm as always.

"If you are too emotional to stop, just take deep breaths… deep breath in… and breath out… deep breath in… and breath out…"

JR found himself obeying and eventually his anger settled and his pacing slowed.

"Are you ready to talk?" the doctor asked. He signalled to the chair in the corner of the cell.

This time JR took a seat.

"There is nothing to talk about." said JR. "I told the truth but they won't hear me!"

"I heard you." said Dr Stanhope, sitting down in his own chair on the other side of the bars. "But you didn't help you cause by grabbing the judge like that! I want to know why you chose now to tell the truth."

JR's foot started twitching as he tried to work out what to say. Should he tell the truth? He was trying to prove he was sane but the anger he had craved, but now wanted to bury, was still burning in his gut. He needed help! And for AJ's sake he needed to get it!

JR looked Dr Stanhope in the eye.

"The truth." said JR. "The truth is Marissa told me to."

"Marissa? You've been in contact with her?"

JR swallowed nervously.

"Not that Marissa. I haven't been taking my medication… not since transferring to minimal security. It made me weak!"

"JR you need that medication. You are a diagnosed schizophrenic."

"I know." JR snapped, but then he paused and took a deep breath before he continued. "I knew I hallucinated her. I know it was all in my head… she told me so, but I knew, I've always known that it was wrong, what I was doing. But I couldn't listen to that part of me, you understand? I was humiliated and hurt and I needed to be angry? I needed it. It was the only way I could feel strong and in control. Anger made it better! Only I don't want the anger any more but it won't stop; it won't leave me!"

"I understand about the anger but what made it different with Marissa this time? Why could you hear her?"

"I don't know." said JR. "Maybe because this time it all made perfect sense. I saw how Annie still had a relationship with her daughter. I knew I could do that for my son. AJ doesn't want me to be a liar and a bad man. He wrote me a letter begging me to be his nice daddy again. This is the only way I know how. If I admit my crimes, if I take my punishment, I'll get him back."

"It may not be that simple." said Dr Stanhope. "I admire the fact that you want to do the right thing here JR but this isn't just about what you want. You need to accept that AJ might not be able to forgive you. You tried to kill his mom; I'd say that is a very hard thing to forgive, wouldn't you? He may never be willing to let you back into his life. Are you ready to face that outcome?"

"But this is all because of AJ! I did it all because of him! He's my world! I only went after Marissa because she took him from me! I had to get him back! I have to get him back!"

"That is not a healthy relationship to have with a child JR. He's his own person with his own needs and feelings. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to."

JR tipped his head back to rest it against the cold concrete wall.

"AJ was going to be the one thing I did right. I should have listened to Babe that night. I should have done what I said I would and just left town!" he said with a despairing groan.

"Babe?"

"My wife; AJ's mom. She died three years ago during the tornado. She saved our little boy's life! She came to me that night! I thought she was real! David told me he had brought her back. I though he had. I thought with her there I could take back my son and we could be a family… be the family I always wanted. For just a second I thought I could put down the gun and get AJ back without hurting anyone. But she wasn't real. It was just a dream… just a dream…"

"Had you been drinking?"

"Yeah." said JR.

"And had you any more hallucinations before that."

"I saw my mom in the park. I thought I was seeing things but she was really back from the dead."

"So no other visions or vivid dreams?"

JR shook his head.

"But you had a hallucination just before the shooting? You never mentioned this before."

"What are you trying to say?" JR asked.

"I am trying to say that you are a sick man JR. Part of that is down to your alcoholism but I think there is long term mental issues that are still not fully addressed, particular in view of your anger management. You need help. The right sort of help! I'm not sure Oak Haven was the right facility for you. If you have really managed to go without meds for two weeks unchecked then there needs to be an urgent review of their care facilities for a start! I also haven't been the right doctor to treat you. I haven't been as unbiased as I should be because of my connection with Marissa and Miranda.

"Miranda?"

"That's another issue unrelated to this." said the doctor quickly, realising he had said more than he should. "JR, I have a colleague who runs an excellent rehab facility out in Nevada. A beautiful, isolated, desert location. I think it will help bring you the peace you need."

"But AJ… and the trial."

"I am going to give my recommendation to the judge. The trial will be suspended until you are fit to plea and right now JR you are not fit! And as for AJ I think what he needs right now is a chance to settle into his new home. You need to let him come to terms with what you have done and who you are. But knowing that you are doing the right thing and getting the right help I'm sure will go a long way into helping him understand you."

"But not forgive me? I really messed this up!" JR sobbed. "I mess everything up!"

…