A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. Anyways, credit to FireBird128 for this idea, though I was planning to do it anyways.
Hermes Learns Spanish: Bored with other languages, Hermes has decided to learn Spanish.
Hermes: It's true! Spanish! Me! Me namo es Hermes. (Auto-translate: -)
Athena: Um, maybe we should remove the Spanish auto-translate. It's really not doing anything but clog up the forum.
Hephaestus: Sounds good.
(Spanish auto-translate has been deactivated)
Hermes: But...but...you need to translate what I say!
Athena: You're not speaking in Spanish, so really, there is no point.
Hermes: Me is habling in españish!
Athena: Proof.
Hermes: Que?
Athena: If you meant what, there is an accent over the e, and if you meant it as a question, you're missing the upside-down question mark. Like: ¿Qué?
Hermes: Athena...you...you speak Spanish?
Athena: I'm Athena. Of course I speak Spanish. I speak every language.
Hermes: ... Wow. Well...Athena, why? Why? I wanted to be original here!
Athena: There is no original with me around.
Hephaestus: Excuse me, Athena, Hephaestus TV was very original, and I invented it.
Athena: Yeah, but that was a few centuries ago. Now, almost nothing has not been done before.
Hephaestus: That's thinking on pretty wide terms.
Athena: I think on wide terms.
Hephaestus: Yes, I figured that.
Hermes: Guys! Not important! Guys, I'm learning Spanish! Me learno españish!
Ares: Guys, why did you deactivate the Spanish auto-translate? I don't know Spanish! I don't understand a word he's saying.
Athena: That's because he's not speaking in Spanish, Ares.
Hermes: I am! Me, like, me. Learno, because, you know, there's some conjugation thing that my tutor was lecturing me about. And españish, which means Spanish, obviously.
Athena: Come back when you actually know Spanish, please.
Hermes: I do know Spanish!
Athena: No, you don't.
Hermes: I do!
Apollo: Haiku!
Actually, Hermes,
Clearly you don't know Spanish
That is not Spanish
Artemis: You might as well have this be a haiku, Apollo:
This is a haiku.
This is really a haiku.
This is a haiku.
Apollo: Five...seven...five...Arty, that is a haiku.
Artemis: Don't call me Arty! And what about this, Apollo?
One two three four five
One two three four five and six
One two three four five
Apollo: That's a haiku, too.
Artemis: Barely!
Apollo: It technically is.
Artemis: Technically! Yours and that one aren't that different.
Apollo: Whoa. Whoa, Arty. That's not nice. That's not something you say to the god of poetry.
Artemis: The god of poetry. Oh, yes, the god of poetry. I forgot, you see. It's easy to forget you're the god of poetry when you can't recite a poem for your life.
Apollo: Arty, I'm warning you.
Hephaestus: Um, Apollo, you might want to be careful around people who take great pleasure in making you go poof and turn into a jackalope.
Apollo: Aw, Arty wouldn't do that to me.
Artemis: Try me.
Apollo: ... Try...you? Arty, what...?
Artemis: Apollo, call me "Arty" one more time, and you're toast. A toasty jackalope.
Apollo: Oh. No thanks.
Artemis: Good decision.
Hermes: Guys! Spanish! Me invito mi teachero de españish!
Ares: What?
Hermes: I've invited my Spanish teacher onto the forum! He's an immortal, don't worry. He made a funny username, though...not his real name.
Hephaestus: Wait, you were serious about that? Oh, man, he's really going to use that...eh, it doesn't really matter. The one exception to the real-names rule.
Hermes: Como, mi teachero de españish!
Mr. Spanish Teacher: No, no! It's Vienes, mi profesor de español. Remember, we worked on vocabulary. And venir is to come. You know the conjugation.
Hermes: Oh...oh, yeah. Sorry.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Hermes, were you paying attention?
Hermes: Yes! Of course I was! Me payo attentiano!
Mr. Spanish Teacher: No, Hermes, please stick to the material we covered in class today.
Hermes: Um...what did we cover?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Conjugations, Hermes. Las conjugaciones.
Hermes: Oh. Um...what conjugations?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: So you weren't paying attention.
Hermes: No! I just...forgot!
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Hermes, I need more of an effort from you. Greek god or not, I expect full effort from each and all of my pupils.
Hermes: Sorry. So...conjugations.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Yes, conjugations. Look in your notebook, Hermes. If the verb ends in -ar, the -
Hermes: Where's my notebook?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Is it not in your backpack?
Hermes: Where's my backpack?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Hermes, did you lose your notes?
Hermes: No! Just my backpack!
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Where you kept your notes.
Hermes: Well...yeah.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: So, Hermes, let's take a Spanish verb ending in -ar. Can you provide me with one? Do you remember any from today's lesson?
Hermes: Um...what was it...talkar? Yes, talkar...right? To talk?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: No, Hermes, it's hablar. To speak. Tell me, Hermes, how do you say "to speak" in Spanish?
Hermes: Uh...to talkar?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: No, Hermes, it's hablar.
Hermes: Oh, yes. I remember. Hablar.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Good. So, Hermes, do you remember how to say "I speak"?
Hermes: Uh...I talkar?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: The verb is hablar.
Hermes: Yes. Sorry. So...I hablar?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: You have the verb, at least. But remember, Hermes, when you change the subject, you substitute out the verb ending - in this case, the -ar. Do you remember what for, here?
Hermes: Yes! I remember! O!
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Yes. Can you replace this in the verb hablar?
Hermes: Uh...hablaro?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: No! You substitute it, remember?
Hermes: What do you mean?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Look: Hablar. Take out the ending. Now we have, habl. Add on the ending. Now we have: hablo. I talk. Hablo.
Hermes: Oh. Oh, yeah.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: So, Hermes, are you going to remember this?
Hermes: Oh, yeah! Yeah! Sure! I totally will!
Athena: Uh-huh. Sure you will.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: So, Hermes, please tell me how to say "I speak".
Hermes: Talko! Now, I forgot there were others here...I mean it, I really forgot...Um, can we continue this another time?
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Fine. But you'd better have memorized your conjugations my then. Because you were wrong then. The verb is hablar, okay?
Hermes: Yes. Hablar. Got it.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: Vocabulary, too, Hermes. Remember, Hermes you have homework!
Hermes: Yep.
Mr. Spanish Teacher: I'm off for now. For now.
Hermes: Yep. Bye.
Athena: Well, Hermes. Your Spanish really needs improvement.
Hermes: I know. I knowar.
Athena: Seriously, Hermes. Go do your homework.
Hephaestus: Homework. Ha. Anyways, I think that concludes our discussion for today.