Hi everyone! Hope you had a wonderful holiday. Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up, I hope you enjoy it :)

Chapter 15,

Jay stood on the sidewalk outside of Molly's, watching Erin's car drive away. His whole body was shaking. It may have been because he left his jacket inside and a deep cold had settled into the Chicago night. Or it could have been the look on Erin's face. Or maybe it was the words she had hurled at him. Screw you, Jay. Screw you. He stuffed his hands in his pants pockets to warn them, but he didn't move.

He deserved her words. This was the second time Erin had walked in at the tail of a conversation and overheard him make a hurtful comment out of context. But even if it was out of context, his words had been cruel, and he knew it.

But when he followed her outside and asked her if she remembered the day he proposed, he honestly hadn't expected her to lash out at him.

He had just finishing tell Antonio that he loved Erin. That he wanted to be with her regardless of her memories. Because the woman he fell in love with was still inside of her, and he loved her just the same.

He wanted Erin to get her memories because he didn't think she loved him just the same.

Her parting words had confused him. "God. That's all you care about it, isn't it? Me recovering my memories so you can have your wife back. You don't care that I've been here, I've been here fighting for you, fighting for us this whole time."

Had she been fighting for them? Had he just been blind to it?

He wasn't sure how long he had been standing outside. He stood, his eyes watching the same spot long after Erin's car had disappeared. He needed to follow her, and finally he decided to go back inside and retrieve his coat.

Antonio was already standing by the door. "I called you an uber, man." He said, handing Jay his jacket. "You can get your car tomorrow."

Jay slipped his coat on, trying to hide his shaking hands from his friend. "Thanks, Antonio." He didn't want to leave his car at Molly's, but he knew he wasn't fit to drive. He hadn't spaced those last two drinks, and his head was buzzing.

The two friends walked outside and stood waiting for the car to pull up. "Listen, Jay." Antonio broke the comfortable silence, "She walked in at the wrong time. You just need to tell her everything you told me." He put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "Just start from the beginning this time."

Jay gave Antonio a smile, knowing his friend was trying to use humor to make him feel better, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He waved a quick goodbye to Antonio and got into the uber, heading for home.

When the car pulled up to his house, he rushed inside so quickly he hadn't even noticed the wrong car that was pulled into the driveway. "Erin," he yelled as he walked through the house to the living room to find her. "Erin?"

He stopped short when he got to the living room. The woman sitting on his couch in her pajamas was not his wife. "Kim? What are you doing here?"

She stood immediately when she saw Jay, rushing over to where he stood. "Erin asked me to watch Sophie. Years of memories came back to her and she rushed out to tell you." She immediately regretted the words as she saw Jay's eyes light up in surprise. Shit. Before he had a chance to speak she continued, "But then she called me twenty minutes ago telling me she was heading home, and to wait for you here. She sounded like she was crying, what the hell did you do?"

Jay didn't answer her, but instead stood stunned at Kim's words.

Years of memories.

She rushed out to tell you.

Home. This was Erin's home. Not Hank's. Here. With him and their daughter.

"Thanks, Kim. For staying with Sophie." They were the only words he could get out. So many thoughts were rushing into his mind at once.

If she remembered years of memories, then she remembered their relationship. And if she remembered their relationship, then this was home. Why hadn't she come here?

He thought if she ever regained her memories, she would come back home. She would fight for them. But what was it she had said? I've been here fighting for you, fighting for us this whole time.

Maybe she was done fighting.

The thought depressed him as he guided Kim out the door, and it stayed with him the rest of the night.

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Erin pulled up outside of Hank's house, and turned off the car engine. She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the head rest. She let out a huge sigh. Tears were still trailing down her face. How was it possible to have this many tears?

After a few minutes, she got out of the car and began to walk up the stairs to the front door. She unlocked the door quietly, trying not to alert Hank to her presence. She wasn't sure she was ready to talk.

"Hey, kiddo. You're home early." She heard his voice coming from the kitchen. She was surprised at how his voice loosened something inside her, making her feel a little better. Her relationship may be a mess, but she would always have Hank. The closest thing she had ever had to a father.

When she regained her memories of Jay, she regained other memories too. She remembered Camille and Justin, and she remembered how her relationship with Hank had grown even more than she had ever thought possible. He was the first person to ever give her a family, and he had continued to stand by her through everything in her life.

"Hey." She spoke softly, wiping away her tears as she walked to join Hank in the kitchen.

Hank heard her choked up voice and he looked up, taking in her red eyes and tear streaked face. "What happened?" He rushed over to her and pulled her into a tight hug. He didn't expect her to answer right away, and instead stroked her hair as she cried into his chest.

Finally she pulled away from the hug, wiping away a few more stray tears. "I remember. Up until the day Jay proposed. It all came back tonight."

He stared at her in disbelief, reluctant to release her from his arms. "I don't understand." He watched her walk over to the kitchen table and sit down. He followed before continuing, "If you remember, why are you upset?"

She filled him in on what she overheard, and as she spoke she felt the words slice through again, as if she was hearing them for the first time.

"He didn't mean it, Erin." God, Jay is an idiot. He and Jay had come very far since the day he told Jay that Erin was off limits. Since that day, he had given Jay countless warnings, of the 'You hurt her, they'll have to fish your body out of the bottom of the river' variety. But instead of being angry at Jay for his cutting words, he just felt sad. Sad for Erin, sad for Jay. He hadn't meant it. The past month had been so hard on both of them, and Jay was bound to say something he didn't mean over a beer with a friend.

"I'm not sure you're right about that." Erin stood and grabbed two beers out of the fridge. "He must have meant it on some level, or he wouldn't have said it."

Hank thought about that. "Okay, fine." He said after opening the beers for both of them. "Let's say a small part of him meant it." He handed her one, and took a sip of his own. "Being around you and not being able to be with you." He motioned with his hands, and then quietly slapped them down on the table. "After being married to you, after having a baby with you?" He cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows at her, "I can't imagine how hard that must be for him. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't remember me." That thought had crossed his mind several times in the past month. What if it had been 20 years instead of 10? What if she never remembered moving in with him, had never remembered their family. He would have been devastated.

Erin sighed. She understood what Hank was saying. She had said it to herself one hundred times on the drive home from Molly's tonight. Because now... now she remembered how much Jay loved her. And how much she loved him. "I know." She shook her head, "I know. But... It's hard to explain." She searched for the words. She couldn't make sense of it herself, how was she going to explain it to Hank. "When I woke up this morning, I was in love with Jay. I didn't remember anything about our life together. But this month, I fell in love with Jay all over again." She took a swig of her beer, allowing it to settle her racing heart. "And when the memories came back, I was so excited to tell him." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "But when the memories came back, it didn't erase the last month. I don't know how to explain it. I still feel like the same person I was this morning. The same person I was yesterday and last week. I just..." She sighed, "I just remember stuff now. But nothing has changed." A tear fell down her cheek. "And I guess I'm just not sure that Jay will ever love this version of me."

Hank wasn't sure how to respond, he knew his words wouldn't be enough. So he reached out and squeezed her hand. "I love you, kiddo."

"Hank" Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she stared up at him. Her father. "I remember Camille, and Justin, and Nadia, and I just wanted to say..." she actually wasn't sure what it was she wanted to say. She searched his face, which had grown sad at the mention of those names. "I love you, too." This time the smile reached her eyes.

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Erin was exhausted this morning. After her conversation with Hank in the kitchen the night before, she decided to send Jay a brief text message saying, "I think I will just meet you at the district tomorrow. Tell Sophie I miss her." Jay hadn't responded right away, but when he did it was just with a quick "K", acknowledging his receipt of the message but not giving her anything else.

After that, she couldn't sleep. Now she was standing in the break room, pouring herself her second cup of coffee of the day. She and Hank had gotten to work early to catch up on paperwork, and no one else had gotten in yet. It felt weird being here this early, instead of picking up coffee for Jay and spending the morning getting Sophie ready for daycare with him.

She tried to push those thoughts out of her mind, and she turned to go back to her desk. She stopped short when she saw Jay standing in the doorway. "Hi," she whispered.

She had spent the entire night sad and angry. But now... with Jay standing in the doorway, his t-shirt clinging to his shoulders and arms, his eyes bright and bold... she realized how much she missed him. How much she loved him.

He didn't respond, but instead walked towards her, relaxing his body against the counter right next to her.

She didn't speak. She had used up the only word she could think of, and now she was just searching the familiar features of his face, willing her hands to stay at her side, willing herself not to reach for him, willing herself to hold on to her anger. She could feel it fading.

"I'm sorry," He said the words so quietly that if she hadn't been staring at his lips, she might not have heard them. "I should never had said those things. I just miss my wife." He hung his head low, as if he was ashamed.

When Jay said he missed his wife, he was talking about the woman standing in front of him. Memories or no memories, he wanted her to know that he loved her, and she was his wife.

But he probably should have made that more clear. Because when Erin heard those words, her anger came back with a vengeance. She shook her head, and laughed ironically at his words, "Your wife," she said with a sigh.

Jay realized then that Erin had misinterpreted his words. But before he could straighten things out, he felt his cell phone buzz in his pocket. Before he had Sophie, he would never had answered a phone call in the middle of this conversation. But things change, priorities change.

"Hello," he said into the phone. "Yes, this is Jay Halstead."

Erin couldn't believe he answered the phone in the middle of their conversation. She was about to storm out of the room, but suddenly Jay's face drained of color. "I'll be right there," he said, as he hung up and all but ran out of the room.

"Come on," he yelled to her as he ran. He stopped at his desk and picked up his coat. "We need to go."

"What's going on?" She shouted, afraid to hear the answer. He said we. That could only mean one thing.

"That was the daycare. They just took Sophie to the hospital."

xoxo

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