Chapter 19 – A Different Kind of Love:

Lily opened her eyes, panicking and flailing in a bed. She looked up to see a pure white ceiling with the most obnoxious light to her ever grace her eyes. The light burned, so she turned to her left to see a blurred figure of a man sleeping in a hospital chair. Lily could not make out the details but she could tell the man had flaming red hair. Quickly, she turned to her right and saw a beautiful view of London and realized she was safely at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. She immediately calmed and took a deep breath.

"You're up?" a voice from her left asked hesitantly. Lily turned again to see the man with fiery red hair stand up and walk towards her bedside. Her blurred vision could not make out who it was until he was sitting right beside her. She smiled to see that it was her beloved godfather, Ron.

"Ron," she said, her voice croaking as she attempted to smile. He smiled back.

"What are we going to do with you, Lily Potter?" he asked tenderly as he stroked her head.

"Just let me sleep," she mumbled, as she closed her eyes again for a moment. "That'd be a nice change of pace." Ron chuckled at her attempt at humor. After a long, comfortable silence, Lily groaned and opened her eyes to look at Ron again.

"What happened? Where's Jeandré? Where is Eddie?" Lily had meant to stay calm, but as the questions began to pour out, the more desperate and panicked she had become. Seeing this, Ron immediately began to shush her

"Shhh calm Lily," he whispered gently, as he continued to stroke her hair. "You're weak and you need rest."

"I won't rest until I've known what happened," said Lily stubbornly. Ron gave a defeated sigh, knowing it would be no use to argue with her; even in a weakened state. She would just get worse.

"Eddie is fine," said Ron, "a little irritated with you to say the least, but fine. He's actually visiting with his mother right now. I'm sure he'll be here to see you soon." Lily shrugged as if this was no big deal. "As for Anson Jeandré…" Lily turned to look at him urgently.

"Jeandré has been captured. However, Lily, she's currently here at St. Mungo's under supervision. Lily, she's severely injured. You…you nearly killed her…you may have killed her. The doctors and nurses don't know if she's going to be okay."

Lily turned to look out the window and stared out it for a moment. She truly did not know how she felt at the possibility of possibly killing the Heir of Ravenclaw. On the one hand, Jeandré was never going to stop until Lily was dead and it was clearly a form of self-defense. On the other hand, she could have stopped Jeandré; in fact she did stop Jeandré without killing her. So, was it really justified? Lily was no philosopher and did not know if she had done right or wrong. The one thing she did know was that she did what she had always been trained to do. With Voldemort chasing her and attempting to kill her all of her life, Lily did the one thing she knew she had to do and what she was trained to do; survive.

"Lily?" Ron called out, breaking her train of thought.

"I did what I had to do to survive," she whispered, turning to look at Ron. "It's all I know how to do." Tears formed in Lily's eyes as she said these words. Ron nodded in understanding and grasped her hand tightly and comfortingly.

"I'm sure everything will be fine, Lily," he said reassuringly.

"I hope so."

"As for you, Lily," said Ron, "we almost lost you."

"What?"

"Lily, you were so weak and drained, we thought you were going to die," whispered Ron, his voice beginning to shake.

"Ron…I…I had to stop Jeandré…" said Lily desperately. "She was going to kill me and Merlin knows what she would've done with the Stone…the Stone!" Lily shot up, kicked off her blankets, and jumped out of bed.

"Lily? What are you doing? Get back into bed! You're very weak!" said Ron, grabbing a hold of Lily's arm and forcing her back into her bed.

"The Stone of Merlin!" screeched Lily, nearly kicking and screaming. "I threw it! Jeandré jumped for it. I don't know if she has it or if it got left behind! What-?"

"I have it," came a voice from the doorway. Lily stopped what she was doing and looked in the direction of the voice as Ron whipped around and beamed up at his son.

"You have it?" asked Lily accusingly. Eddie nodded.

"When the Aurors arrived and freed me from Body Binding Curse," said Eddie, with obvious bitterness in his voice, "I saw that you weren't wearing it. We immediately looked for it and found it not far from you. I've been holding on to it ever since." With that, Eddie stepped into the room and stood at the foot of Lily's bed. He took the necklace out of the pocket of his robes and dropped it on top of the blankets. Eddie glanced at Lily for a moment and their eyes met. Lily felt a shiver run down her spine. Ron had been right; Eddie was irritated with her. Though 'irritated' was putting it politely. He looked downright furious.

"I figured I would give it to you as soon as I can," said Eddie bitterly, "seeing as you don't trust me and all." Without another word, Eddie turned and stormed out of the room. Ron's eyes followed him before turning back to look at Lily with a raised eyebrow.

"What is that all about?" he asked.

"Nothing," whispered Lily as she reached out to grab hold of the Stone of Merlin and holding it tightly to her chest. "Absolutely nothing."

Several days had past and Lily was still not allowed to leave St. Mungo's. Apparently draining your powers, almost to the point of death, requires you to remain in bed for along period of time, much to Lily's dismay. Instead, she had been conducting her duties as Mistress of Magic from her hospital bed, much to the dismay of the doctors and the nurses at St. Mungo's. Lily even had her sarcastic assistant, Jeremiah, coming to the hospital on occasion to…well…assist her in all of her work.

"Mistress?" Jeremiah called out one particularly rainy afternoon from the doorway of her hospital room.

"Yes Jeremiah?" asked Lily, not looking up from her papers as she flipped through them.

"I know you're very busy turning St. Mungo's into my second, personal hell," said Jeremiah sarcastically, "but you have a requested audience."

"With whom?" asked Lily, again without looking up.

"Edward Weasley."

This caused Lily to stop what she was doing and to finally look at Jeremiah.

"Ah, the Mistress finally graces with me with her attention."

"Enough Jeremiah," said Lily sternly. "Let him in and close the door behind you." Jeremiah looked rather startled at Lily's tone as she was never firm with him, but he nodded obediently and a few moments later, Eddie came walking into her hospital room, closing the door behind him.

"Lily…"

"Ed," said Lily, putting down her work. "What can I do for you today?" Again, it felt strange being so professional with Eddie; especially considering all that they had been through throughout their entire lives and what they had just endured together. But, she did not know how she felt about Eddie and where they stood, so professional was all she knew how to do at this point.

"You lied to me," snarled Eddie.

Lily was a taken back. "Excuse me?"

"You told me that we would fight Jeandré together!" shouted Eddie, his face turning red. "You said it was you and me! But you lied to me! You betrayed me, Lily! How could you do that to me? You betray me and then you have the nerve to tell me that you don't trust me? You're a bloody hypocrite, Lily Potter!" It took Lily a moment or two to process his words before she narrowed her own eyes at him.

"Hypocrite?" she hissed in a whisper. "That's what you've come to say to me? You've come to tell me that I am a hypocrite?" She stared at Eddie for another moment before bursting out into laughter. Suddenly, Eddie felt uncomfortable.

"Eight years ago, you left me and your family without a word…" started Lily, her voice dripping with venom. "Not once did we hear from you. Then one day you just come storming back into our lives and think everything is going to be the same? That everything could be the same?" Lily was now screaming. "Are you bloody mad? How could I ever trust you after you do something like that? And you accuse me of being a hypocrite? You know what, Edward Weasley, you can just go straight to hell!"

Now it was Eddie's turn to be a taken back. He stared at Lily, blinking repeatedly and stumbling over his words. "But…you…when you broke Jeandré's spell…you…you said you loved me…" Eddie expected some kind of reaction from Lily when he said these words to her, but her face remained completely indifferent. "Don't you?"

After what seemed like forever, with Eddie's heart beating painfully against his chest and beating so loud that he was sure that everyone in London could hear it, Lily finally whispered, "No."

"No?" croaked Eddie, feeling his face getting hot and his heart beating louder and more painfully. His stomach was turning in knots. He felt like he was going to be sick. "Then…then how did you break Jeandré's spell?"

"Ed, when we were young, you know I loved you," whispered Lily, now looking at her hands. "I wanted to be with you forever. In fact, I thought we would be together forever. But now…" Lily paused, hesitant, and bit her lip hard, unsure on how to continue. Eddie could not take; he needed her to continue.

"Go on…"

"Eddie…" Lily took a deep breath and continued. "Eddie, I do love you. You'll always have a special place in my heart and that's because of everything we have shared together…throughout our childhood and throughout our years at Hogwarts. Yes, love saved us yet again from evil; that is clear and absolute. But, the love I have for you now, it's a different kind of love. It's certainly not the same as it was. It's not the same love that you feel towards me. It's not the same love that you want me to feel." Lily looked up from her hands to see a wretched, heartbroken look on Eddie's face. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," whispered Ed, looking down at his feet. "It's not your fault. It was my…my own…misinterpretation…I…I should've known better."

"Eddie…"

"I…I think I'll head back to America…" said Eddie abruptly, though it seemed he was more so talking to himself than Lily.

"Why not stay in London?" asked Lily.

"There's nothing here for me, now," answered Eddie truthfully. He looked directly into Lily's eyes and gave a polite nod. "I wish you the best, Mistress."

And just like that, he was gone yet again.

For some reason, unbeknown to Lily, she wanted to bury her face into her pillow and sob her eyes out.

"Mistress?"

Lily looked up from her desk, looking over the rims over her glasses to see Maddox and an Auror whom she did not know standing in the doorway of her office. They had their official robes on and their wands in their holsters.

"Maddox? Sir? How can help you gentleman today?" asked Lily, rising to her feet.

"Mistress, we have come to inform you that Anson Jeandré was pronounced dead late last night," said Maddox. Lily's breath hitched in her throat and she clutched the Stone of Merlin that was hanging around her neck.

"I see…" whispered Lily, looking down at her desk, tears welling up in her eyes. Yes, she did not particularly like Anson Jeandré; the woman did try and kill her after all. But Lily never particularly liked killing and tried to avoid doing it as often as she could if she could help it. However, sometimes it was unavoidable and it never really sat well with Lily. She constantly remembered what it felt like when her family and friends had been murdered and ripped from her life. She never wanted to do that to someone else. Not wanting Maddox or the young Auror to see her cry, Lily gathered her bearings, she looked back at Maddox and the younger Auror. "Am I being charged?"

"Of course not, Mistress!" exclaimed the younger Auror, looking astonished and confused. "It was clearly self-defense. Maddox here said you would want to know immediately." Lily turned to look at Maddox who looked sympathetic and understanding. They had been partners for years, they understood each other, and she knew that he liked killing even less than Lily did.

"I appreciate it, sirs," said Lily, nodding her gratitude.

"Geoffrey, would you give us a moment?" asked Maddox, not taking his eyes off of Lily. The younger Auror, Lily guessed was Geoffrey, nodded his respects to Lily and then left the office doorway. Maddox, on the other hand, entered Lily's office and closed the door behind him.

"Taking a life still gets under your skin, eh Potter?" said Maddox, immediately heading over to Lily's secret stash of Fire Whiskey that she kept behind a stack of books. He took out two glasses and the bottle before taking a seat in front of Lily's desk.

"Am I that obvious?" asked Lily, also taking a seat.

"Only because I know you so well," said Maddox casually as he poured them each a generous measure. They each took a glass and toasted to one another before taking the shot.

"I needed that," said Lily, rubbing her eyes as the alcohol burned the back of her throat.

"I know you did."

"I didn't mean to kill her," mumbled Lily.

"I know you didn't," said Maddox comfortingly. "We all know you didn't. Anson Jeandré was a mental case who was clearly going to follow in the footsteps of Grindelwald and Voldemort. You prevented a great catastrophe from occurring and potentially saved hundreds of lives. No one disputes that."

"I know," whispered Lily. Maddox reached over and placed his hand on top of Lily's in a comforting, friendly manner.

"You'll get passed this, Lily petal," he said reassuringly. "You always do." Lily looked up at her former partner and gave him a smile to let her know that he was right; that she would be all right…eventually.

"What is to be done about Anson Jeandré's remains? Since there obviously isn't going to be a trial," asked Lily, genuinely curious. Maddox shrugged.

"I suppose they'll try and get in touch with any relatives she may have and then provide a funeral for her," said Maddox casually. "Though to be honest it looks as though she had no family."

"No, she and her ancestors destroyed them…destroyed each other," whispered Lily knowingly, thinking about the story Anson had told she and Eddie about herself and her father.

"That matches what our investigations are telling us. See," said Maddox, again toasting Lily. "You saved us all from a potential maniac. Cheers to you, Lily petal."

"Thanks," she said as she took the Fire Whiskey and poured herself another shot.

"You know, Potter, you really shouldn't drink on the job," he teased as he too poured himself another shot.

"Oh bugger off!" The pair laughed and continued to sip their drinks.

"So, what's going on with you and that Weasley character?" asked Maddox, leaning back comfortably into his seat and holding his glass. Lily looked at him confusedly and shook her head.

"Nothing!"

"You said that awfully fast."

"Because there is nothing going on," said Lily, sounding both firm and defensive. Maddox took a sip of his drink and looked at his former partner curiously.

"Maybe not on your end, but there's definitely something going on with him," said Maddox. "I think he's in love with you."

"Well, he's got a funny way of showing it then," snapped Lily. Maddox chuckled good-naturedly and placed his empty glass on her desk.

"Take it easy on him, Lily petal," he said as he got to his feet. "You don't seem like you'd be an easy woman to love."

"Again, bugger off, Belmas," snapped Lily with a chuckle. Maddox headed towards the door and as he was about to leave he turned around, looking serious.

"Owl me if you need anything, okay?"

"Thanks Maddox," said Lily, genuinely smiling for the first time in weeks. "I appreciate it." He nodded and closed the door behind him.

When Lily was sure that Maddox was out of sight and earshot, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to cry for Anson Jeandré. She cried for all of the lives lost over the Stone of Merlin and all of the trouble it has caused, gotten Lily into, and how many witches, wizards, and Muggles had gotten killed because of her tears, Lily looked down at the stone that lay at the base of her neck on a dainty silver chain. "You're not worth it," she whispered. "You're not worth it."

It was at that moment that Lily had made a decision.

Another chapter! Please enjoy!