A/N: Welcome to Chapter 11! It seemed like y'all really enjoyed the last chapter, so here's the next!

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns the shadowhunter world, obvs.

They keep me in the Gard to make sure my wounds heal up without problem. Everyone keeps telling me I did a good thing. They give me a hot bath, non-blood-stained clothes. I want to go home but I'm not sure if I have one anymore. I'm not to leave yet, even though I'm told I did a good thing. Even though they tell me everything, no one tells me why I can't leave yet, why I can't see anyone.

Jace, Alec, Izzy, Maryse, and Robert all survived. Not my mother; one person I thought I might still have.

Hours later, after I should've been sleeping, but couldn't bring myself to, Consul Penhallow walks into the room I'm being kept in.

That's what I am, a prisoner.

"Clary."

I turn to look at her.

"I can let you go, now. Everyone's been waiting downstairs in the front hall for you."

I don't say anything, I just stand from my perch on the window sill.

"I had to call together a few high powers to discuss you, I understand you've been asking about that; the question on whether you should be tried or not. But many agreed you saved as all, so you're off the hook."

"For killing my father," I finish a sentence that had already been finished.

"I'm sorry, Clary... that you've been through all this. If you'd like to be excused from Robert and Maryse Lightwood's final trials, I will allow that. You and Isabelle Lightwood, for your efforts and skill, are now members of the Clave."

I nod again. "Can I go home?"

She nods at me, pity in her eyes. I hate it. "Yes. Thank you, Clarissa Morgenstern. The Clave owes you a large debt."

I brush past her, with no spite. The woman is obviously doing her best, but it's not good enough. Not now.

I walk slowly through the halls of the Gard. The hallways are busy with shadowhunters running around, discussing things I don't really care enough about. I spot some warlocks, no doubt there to heal the wounded. I walk down the stairs slowly, people rush past me. I walk down the corridor towards the front hall of the Gard. When I get there I stop.

Maryse and Robert stand on either side of Alec and Izzy. Alec has his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. Izzy sits cross legged on the chair beside him, her knee bobbing up and down as she picks at dirty nails. Jace paces back and forth in front of them.

I don't think I've ever been more happy to see a group of people in my life.

"Come on, Jace," Maryse is saying when I walk in. "Please sit." She eyes the empty chair beside Alec.

"You haven't even slept-" Robert cuts off when he sees me. Everyone else looks up as well to see why he's stopped.

I've no idea what I look like, but concern is etched over everyone's faces.

Jace stops pacing when he sees me and immediately starts towards me. I wrap my arms around his torso and burying my face against his chest. He holds me tight as I cry.

"Please don't leave me," I sob. "Please, please don't leave, Jace."

"I won't. I promise."

"They're all gone, they're all gone. He killed my mom." I can feel myself shaking.

"It's okay, Clary. It's okay."

"Don't leave, please. I-"

"I know, I promise. I won't leave." I can feel his breath on my shoulder, his voice soft against my ear. He presses his lips against my temple.

I turn my face from his chest to look at him as he leans over me. "I killed him, Jace."

He gives me a sad smile. "I know."

I feel Izzy's slim arm wrap around my back and then Alec's on the other side of me. I can't stop crying. "I'm sorry."

"It'll be okay, Clary," Iz says.

After a minute, I take a deep breath, willing the tears away.

"Let's go home," Alec says, rubbing my back.

I almost forgot Maryse and Robert were still there, silently in the background.

"We'll meet you outside Clary," Iz says.

"Uh, okay," I reply, squeezing Jace's hand before he walks away.

"How'd you get away?" I ask them before they say anything.

Maryse immediately pulls me into a hug. "We're so sorry Clary. You have no idea." Her voice shakes and when she pulls away her eyes threaten tears.

"We never meant for it to end like this," Robert confirms. "You kids were never supposed to get involved. You have to understand, we all loved each other; the members of the Circle. And your father-" the mention of him makes me shiver "- we never knew he would end up like this. He and your mother truly loved each other."

"But we realized Valentine loved the Circle too much, too late. Clary I'm so sorry you've been put through all of this."

I'm not sure what to say. "Thank you," I respond, and their faces make me think I didn't choose the right response. 'I forgive you' or 'it's okay' didn't feel right. "One thing, though… you got away... but my mom…"

"Jocelyn knew Valentine had gone too far long ago. She tried to stop him-"

"And you let her?" I ask.

"We tried to stop her. Told her to give up being a shadowhunter, run away. She wouldn't leave you, Clary."

Tears slip through my eyes again. I love Maryse and Robert, just not now. "Now she has. Where were you both earlier? When she was killed? When I had to kill him?"

The front door to the Gard opens, and Isabelle steps back inside. "Let's go now, Clary." She pulls me away from her parents and I wipe the tears from my eyes.

She clutches me next to her. "Thank you," I tell her.

"Always," she replies. "I think everyone just needs rest right now. It's difficult to talk when you're tired."

The walk back to the house feels different. People stare, sure. We all walk in a tight group, none of us speaking, maybe out of habit. The look in their eyes is much different. It holds less hate, but I still don't like it. This deep into the city doesn't have much damage, our house still sits in tact.

I don't question Jace when he pulls me into his room. He goes into his drawers and hands me one of his shirts to sleep in. He kisses me lightly before I turn to the bathroom. When I come out he's already in bed and I climb in beside him. He pulls me tight against him and presses his lips to mine. My top lip finds it's way between his lips and they mold together in synchronization. Jace's hands hitch underneath my shirt and rest on my hips. My hands pull lightly at his hair. When he pulls his mouth from mine I kiss his jaw once and pull away.

My hands move from his hair to his jaw, my thumbs trace his jawline and up to his cheekbones, then his eyelids as he closes them, down the bridge of his nose, and then his lips. I peck them softly again. "I love you."

He smiles and opens his eyes. "I love you, too."

"You'll stay?" I ask again.

He kisses my lips, trails them up my cheek to my ear, his hands trail up my torso. "I wouldn't dream of leaving," he whispers. "Never."

One hand leaves my side as Jace tucks his arm under his head, but the other stays underneath my borrowed shirt, his thumb traces circles on my waist.

I can't help but wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. I take deep breath. "Thank you," the words come out muffled. "Thank you for being there."

"I'm always here."

I'm started awake when my father says, "I didn't do it, Clary. I love you," after I've dug the dagger deep into his chest. I must not have made anyone noise while in the nightmare, because Jace is still asleep, facing away from me.

Suddenly the room feels very dark with him still asleep and the curtains shutting out the dark sky. I curl against the smooth curve of Jace's back for comfort as everything floods into my awake mind. I killed my father who killed my mother, his wife. My brother killed himself.

I cringe into Jace's warm body even more and pull the covers tight around me, feeling cold.

He stirs, his breathing becoming faster, but I stay curled against his back, trying to will the dream away. Usually they don't last in my memory long, but this one haunts me. I can't tell if it was trying to make me feel better or worse.

Definitely worse, I think.

I press up harder against Jace, forgetting that he's stirring awake.

"Clary?" he whispers, sleep turning his voice rough.

When I don't reply, he turns over to face me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Sorry I woke you," I say.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I turn the question around in my head, there are so many things I want to ask: Did I do the right thing? Did I betray my father? Am I still a Morgenstern? Could I have saved my mother? What would Jonathan say?

But I want a truthful answer, and I'm not sure that comforting Jace and truthful Jace will give me the same answer.

I shake my head. "No," I answer. "Not really."

"Alright, let me know if you do… are you going to go to Maryse and Robert's trial tomorrow?" He asks, trying to make conversation because I won't be sleeping anymore.

I pull away from his arms and stare at the ceiling, I can feel his eyes burning into my temple. "It's okay, you can go back to sleep."

I hear him shift beside me until I feel his breath against my neck but don't look over. "No, I'm actually interested."

I sigh. "I should, I guess. People are probably expected me too… and Consul Penhallow told me because of our efforts, Iz and I are both members of the Clave now, so that's a thing."

"You'll probably want to be there to elect a new Inquisitor, too."

I look over at him, not surprised by how close his face is to mine. "What?"

Jace smirks. "Aldertree got a little case of demon pox, died in the battle."

I can't help but smirk back. "Demon pox exists?"

"One-hundred and fifty percent."

"By the Angel…" I think of a dream a had a while ago, Aldertree turning into a giant worm, the last stage of demon pox. "That's disgusting," I finish.

Jace laughs. "Right?"

"Who do you think is up for Inquisitor?" I ask him.

"John Carstairs is a big possibility, he's very respectful, very involved in the Clave, he fights for what he believes in. But it'll probably end up being someone like Matthias Gonzales."

"He used to be the head of the Buenos Aires Institute."

"Yeah, he ran the place very strictly, too. He follows the law extremely closely, and his family was known for fighting to keep spoils of downworlders around. Didn't win that fight, but…"

"Carstairs would be better."

He smirks. "For us, yes. The Clave tends to work in mysterious ways, though."

I roll my eyes, annoyed at how true Jace's statement is. The Clave is corrupt, Consul Penhallow tries her best but she tends to get beat out by the more traditional, older shadowhunters of the Clave. When Alec and Jonathan first started being Clave members two years ago, they used to come home so frustrated all the time. Their opinions didn't matter because they were the youngest ones there. Having their parents locked up for treason didn't help, either. Sighing, I look back up at the ceiling. Jonathan always used to tell me how much he thought the Clave needed someone like me to tell them off, the thought of it makes me cringe now, not just because I lost Jonathan, but because telling off the Clave sounds too much like my father.

"You don't have to go just because people expect you to, Clary."

I sigh. "Consul Penhallow said she would excuse me from the trial if I wanted, 'for my efforts.'" I scoff. "Because the Clave should've intervened, I shouldn't have had to do that," my voice gets caught in my throat and I close my eyes and swallow to get the lump out. I open my eyes when Jace rests his forehead against mine. "They always do that. The Clave let's everyone else do their dirty work and then acts like we're heroes for doing something they should have done. It shouldn't work like that."

Jace lifts his head and presses his lips against my forehead. "Are you wearing white tomorrow?"

"Do you think everyone else will be?"

"Probably. There were quite a few deaths."

"Yeah, I will. For both of them."

"It's okay to miss him, he's your father."

I take a deep breath, it turns out to be shaky. I pull the blankets tighter around me. "We should go back to sleep." I kiss his jaw and turn to lay the other way, facing away from him.

When his breathing gets slow and heavy I get up quietly from the bed and go downstairs to the living room. A lot of family pictures were at the Morgenstern Manor, waiting to be packed up and taken somewhere, either when we got older or when our parents got out. But they all went with the Manor when it burned down.

In the basement of our house, by the weapons room is a room full of trunks and boxes, stuff that was our parent's and had to be moved when they were locked up. I dig into my mom's trunk to find a huge photo album, full of pictures from Jonathan and I as kids. When I pull it out dust flies everywhere and I cough to get it out of my lungs. The dust clears and another photo album catches my eye, one with shiny gold details all over the cover. I pull it out too, leaving fingerprints in the layer of dust on the cover. I lug them back up the stairs and into the living room on the couch.

I leave the family photo album on the low table in front of the couch and pull the gold one into my lap.

Photos of my parents are pasted onto heavy pages. They're dressed in traditional demon-hunting gear, but bear no wedded runes on their forearms. The next pages are similar but have more people in them, posing, showing off weapons. There's one picture of Valentine with another man, in my mom's handing writing, below the picture, says, 'Valentine and his parabatai, Lucian.'

I turn the page to find another photo of people I recognize, Robert and Maryse. They're posed similar to the photo of my parents.

Realization hits me, this is a photo album of The Circle in its early years. This is the same album I saw in my dream with Jonathan flicking through it in the Morgenstern library.

Once I realize this, I flip back to the beginning of the album and take in every detail I can. I memorize the young features of my parent's faces, their eyes fierce and in love. I can tell they're all happy here, that back when these pictures were taken, they meant well for themselves. They meant to make the shadow world a better place, they meant for it to be a good place for their children.

Eventually, I get past the photos I've already looked at, and come along a photo of Stephen and Celine, Jace's parents. They look innocent, and young. Yet fierce. They were the youngest set of our parents. I can't see them ever being okay with my father doing what he did to Jace, putting extra angel blood in his veins.

Not that I thought my father would ever be capable of doing something like that, anyway. People have had a habit of surprising me throughout all of this struggle.

I feel the open photo album being lifted off my chest and sunlight is filtered through my eyelids. The couch dips underneath me as someone sits down on the other side. I open my eyes, squinting through the light of the rising sun coming through the windows. Jace sits on the other side of the couch from me.

"Jace?" My voice is thick with sleep.

He looks up to meet my gaze. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you… where'd you find this?"

I get up from the position I fell asleep in, my neck sore, to sit beside him. "In the basement. It's pictures of Circle members."

Just as I'm finishing the sentence, Jace turns to a page with pictures of his parents and lets out a long sigh. "They look so young. I've never seen these pictures before, it's strange."

I rest my head on his shoulder, my head still waking up. "It was buried under another photo album in a box downstairs."

Jace continues to flip through the pages. "I've never even seen some of these people before."

"I had no idea my father had a parabatai."

Jace shakes his head. "Neither did I… none of them had a clue here," he says, echoing my thought when I first saw the pictures. "They had no idea what was going to happen."

"I don't think any of them meant for us all to end up here."

Jace closes the book and sets in on the table in front of the couch. Then turns towards me and kisses me fiercely.

"By the Angel, not before the sun is fully in the sky yet," Alec scolds.

Jace pulls away to turn and smile at his parabatai. Then he turns back to me and his smile turns sly. "Good morning."

I peck him again and then get off the couch to join Alec in the kitchen. Izzy comes down not too long afterwards.

"I can cook breakfast!" Izzy exclaims.

"No!" Jace, Alec, and I all shout at the same time.

Even though we're obviously missing someone, it actually feels normal between all of us. More normal than normal, now that Isabelle and I get along.

I tell Izzy and Alec about the photo album I found last night. "I think you guys should put it in the basement after you look through it," I finish. "I don't know what someone would do if they found it."

"Probably tell us we're all traitors and lock us up forever," Izzy says.

Alec shoots her a look.

"What?! It's true!"

"Be careful about saying stuff like that in public, Iz. A lot is about to change, especially after today, but I doubt that will change anytime soon."

"To be fair, that is what I was getting at, Alec," I defend Iz.

He rolls his eyes. "I know that, I'm just telling her to be careful. We all need to be careful."

"We've always had to be, right?" Jace asks.

A/N: don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you thought! Another update soon!