It's dark, I think I've slept for a few hours but time feels so disorientated at the moment. The music from my iPod is still blaring in my ears. With the duvet wrapped round me once more I grab my phone and sit by the window again. Watching the dawn break I remember happy times with Christian as he took me gliding early in a morning so we could chase the dawn.

I turn the phone over and over in one hand and then the other. Can I switch it back on and read those messages, I suppose I don't have to read his but I better look at the ones from the rest of the family. I switch on the phone and there's more vibrating. There's at least another ten new messages since yesterday when Taylor checked for me.

I start with Mia's, I'm sure she doesn't live in the real world half the time so they will be the easiest to read. They are the usual mundane chatter, have I got a date for the ball next week and can she get me a mask. Err no! I don't think I'll be going!

Elliot's are not too bad.

'Arrived here in the sun! Hope you're surviving working with the control freak bro! Laters'

'Hi to my two brothers, are you giving me the silent treatment?'

'Are you both still alive? Will be on next flight home if I don't hear from one of you by Saturday. I'm getting worried now; the phone is never this quiet from either of you.'

I quickly reply to Elliot 'I'm OK, enjoy your holiday!' I don't want him to fly all the way here just because of me.

Dad's texts are mixed, one telling me off and the other being concerned.

'Please have the courtesy to reply to your mom's text's she is getting worried about you'

'Matt, please just text or call to let us know you are ok.'

Mom's texts start off OK but go into panic mode.

'Hi Matt, hope you're surviving on your own for a few days'

'Darling, please let me know you're ok'

'Is everything OK, I'm getting worried about you'

'Matthew Grey if you do not reply to this text I will be straight round to check on you in the morning'

That's all I need, mom turning up at Escala. I text her 'Don't panic mom, everything has been a bit hectic. I'll be back home later today if that's ok? See you in a few hours.' She's replies immediately 'So you are still alive! Think I need to give to a few tips on communicating before you go away to California on your own! See you soon darling'

I decide to have a quick look at what Christian has to say. I almost give up after the first one; it's in reply to the 'Sorry' I sent him before heading to the airport and simply states 'It's too late to be sorry' I gulp and close my eyes only to see his cold gray eyes. I quickly open mine again and read a few more of his messages. Most of them are just asking me where I am, telling me not to do anything stupid, pleading with me to reply to let him know I'm ok. One of the longer ones starts 'I know you're not at Bellevue so where the hell are you?' They are all demanding in his control freakishness way to know where I am, I'm only about halfway through but there's no apology. He obviously still hates me but needs the contact from me so that he can rid himself of any guilt he might have about throwing me out of his penthouse. I almost give up reading anymore because I'm still so raw and hurt by his reaction. The next one doesn't have a title but just says 'I've sent an email, I hope you read it' I can't face it now, maybe later.

I switch the phone off and go and shower. I don't know how long I stand there but it feels good to be under the cascade of water as it hammers away any thoughts from my head. On returning into the bedroom I find some fresh clothes in my bag and pack the rest of my stuff. I'm getting restless now and feel like I could do with some exercise, especially a long swim. I pace the room, eating some of the fruit that Mrs Jones left yesterday.

The door to the room opens and Taylor enters. He looks pleased that I'm up, showered and dressed.

'Did you sleep?' Shrug

'Eat?' Nod

'Would you like to go home today?' Slow nod

'Now?' Nod

'OK, let's go. Have you got everything?' Nod

I raise an eyebrow at him in the hope he knows I'm trying to question him, I think he can read my mind as he says, 'Mr Grey won't miss me for an hour or so, he still doesn't know where you are but has been trying to track you. I don't want to be indiscreet but I have just dropped Ana at her apartment, they had a disagreement.' I gulp, then look at him with wide eyes. 'It wasn't anything to do with the situation between you and Mr Grey, this is totally separate so do not add this to the things that you are blaming yourself for and causing yourself so much hurt with. Come, I will take you back to your mom.'

I follow him down to the SUV, again sitting in the front. He seems to understand that I need to be there next to him as he doesn't question it. I stare out of the side window, letting the colors of the view merge into one. As we pull up in front of the house I feel tense, Taylor must sense my unease.

'Do you want to wait here?' Shake

'Shall I come in with you?' Nod

'Would you like me to explain a little to your mom?' Slow nod with slight look of horror.

He gives me a nod back, then he's out of the car and opening my door. As we approach the front door it opens and mom is stood there. I think she was just about to tell me off about my communication skills when she glances at Taylor who gives her a tight smile and a slight shake of the head. She is with me in an instant, hugging me and raining kisses on my forehead 'What's wrong my darling boy? What's happened to you?'

She looks at Taylor 'Taylor, what has happened?'

'Christian was really angry with Matthew.' Taylor says but doesn't get any further as my mom interrupts.

'Thank you for bringing Matthew home Taylor, I will sort my sons out, they probably need their heads banging together.'

'Mrs Grey, Matthew hasn't spoken since Thursday, he's been staying in a hotel, he's been too scared and frightened to see anyone but finally agreed to come home today.'

Mom then replies as if I'm not there 'Christian did this to him, but Christian has never been this angry with him before, they normally sort out their differences after a few minutes. What happened on Thursday that was so bad because on Wednesday evening everything was good, they were both so happy with themselves and each other then.'

Taylor looks non-committal as he probably doesn't want to be drawn into a family argument; after all it is my brother that employs him so he needs to show his loyalty to him.

'I know you can't say anymore Taylor as you will be protecting Christian as he employs you, but thank you for taking care of Matthew and bringing him home.'

As Taylor turns to leave I go to shake his hand and give him a small smile as a thank you. Mom is once more at my side, taking my hand she guides me inside. The next hug is all I need to let go of all the emotion that has been building for 48 hours and I sob my heart out onto my mom's shoulder.