So much has happened in one short week but I'm back in exactly the same place as I was seven days ago. Another Sunday, back at the pool and still no words. I jogged here today along the coast road and will go back the same way. I really push myself this morning with another gruelling set at a blistering pace. The ache in my muscles feels good as I stroll home.

Again mom is in the kitchen preparing lunch, I go and hug her.

'You need a shower!' I smile.

'Feeling any better?' Nod and smile.

'Good. We still haven't heard from Christian, I don't know what he's playing at but I'm so mad at him right now' Shrug

'Lunch will be ready in twenty minutes, your fathers in his study' I smile at her and leave, as I pass dad's study door I pop my head in and wave, he smiles back but is on the phone so I leave him and head for the shower.

As I'm getting dressed I see the light on my phone flashing, Christian has emailed again.

From: Christian Grey

To: Matthew Grey

Subject: Work

Matthew,

I recall on Thursday saying that 'you don't work for me anymore' I'm sorry.

If you still want to be a GEH employee you are very welcome to return whenever you wish, even tomorrow should you so want? There will always be a position available for you in the company.

I have transferred some money to your bank account for last week's work.

Take Care

Christian.

So he's still wants me to go to work for him, I don't think so! The trouble is if I want to work then I'll have to move away from Seattle seeing as he owns most of it. I don't even want his money in my bank account; he makes me so angry, trying to control everything all the time. Maybe that's his intention, trying to get me angry with him; it's got to be better than all the pain and hurt.

Lunch is pretty quiet, we're all lost in our own thoughts, it's over quickly. The doorbell rings, I know its Hannah it's the way she presses the button and keeps her finger on it. Mom recognises it as well, she looks at me quizzically saying 'That will be Hannah, are you up to seeing her darling boy?' I nod and grin then go to open the door.

After a quick hug, we wander through the kitchen where Hannah says 'hi' to mom and dad then I lead her out into the back yard. Mom looks happy and smiles at dad. We wander down towards the boat house and the shore.

Sitting at the end of the jetty with our feet dangling in the water Hannah starts to talk. It's so lovely to listen to her chatter about what all our friends have been up to this week, perhaps I'll hang out with them for a few days seeing as I won't be working. I'm actually finding it relaxing, sitting in the sun with my feet tapping the water and making small splashes.

Suddenly I do one big splash sending water all over her, she screams because she's wet, I scramble up to my feet and run so that she can't get me back. She chases after me and we flop down onto the grass .I'm lying on my front resting on my elbows and Hannah on her back next to me so that she can see my nods and shakes as she carries on talking.

'Matt, have you ever had sex?' look of shock, horror, frown and shake of head and not sure what else I must look like. Where did that question come from?

'I take it from your expression the answer is no, it's just that you have all the girls at school looking at you all the time, all desperate for you to acknowledge them and get a smile. You could have anyone you wanted.' I know I could, but I've had visions of the over protective control freak brother that I have going thermonuclear on me if I started screwing around with girls. Maybe I should start. No that wouldn't be me; I mean I'm waiting for the right girl to come along. Someone like Hannah, though I've never really thought of her in that way and besides she's been in a long term relationship with the captain of the football team, Jordan, it's been two years or so. Even with my kickboxing skills I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him.

'I split up with Jordan this week' shocked face. 'He's been pressurising me for a while now about having sex, he's saying everyone's doing it but I didn't feel ready. I know we'd been together two years but I felt he just wasn't the one and I wanted to wait.' Too much information.

Hannah starts to cry, between sobs she tells me that he called her some awful names when they split and was really nasty to her. I sit up and move so that I'm sat behind her and pull her up so she's between my legs. We sit there comfortably just staring at the water. She's still upset, I put her hair in pigtails, it makes me smile when I remember the paint pot incident. Even with the warmth of the sun she shivers. I hug her, kissing the top of her head.

'Matt I think you're the only person I can truly relax and be myself with. You always just accept who I am, I feel totally comfortable here with you now. With Jordan it was like I was putting on a show all the time, it was like he was trying to outdo other people, always wanting to be better than them. What am I going to do, he wants us to get back together but I don't feel I can live like that anymore.'

She's in tears again. She's really cut up about this and I just want to thump him.

'Shhh, it will be OK' I whisper in her ear.

'You spoke' she gulps through her sobs turning to look at me.

'It would appear so.'

'Don't go 'it would appear so on me' , you sound like Christian and you know how he scares me' she replies.

I smile at her 'He scares me as well'

'So, why no words this time?' Hannah asks, she's always been direct and to the point every time the words start again.

I shrug. 'Matthew Grey, do not go back into your silent world on me, there's only so much talking a girl can do with herself!' she says indignantly.

I smile at her 'I had a fight with Christian; he threw me out of his apartment.'

'Apartment, more like fortress in the sky. Seriously you guys had a fight for the first time ever and you don't talk. I fight with my brothers at least once a day' she says.

'He said some really nasty things, it hurt. When he threw me out I ended up at Sea-Tac, just before I bought a ticket his bodyguard came and got me without Christian knowing, he put me in a hotel and two days later I end up back home'

'Oh Matt, are you still hurting?' she asks.

'It's easier with you here' I reply

She hugs me tightly and kisses my cheek, somehow it develops into more. We're kissing properly, like I've never kissed before. We pull apart and just stare at each other.

I speak first 'I'm sorry I should never have taken advantage of you'

'Matt, how did you feel when you were kissing me, I mean really feel, don't go making anything up'

'Like nothing else I have felt before, it felt so good, so natural, made me feel like I've just woken up and everything is too bright, you?'

'Like nothing else I have felt before'

'Never'

'No, not with Jordan, or even the one before him. I'd quite like you to take advantage of me again to make sure I wasn't dreaming'

We kiss again, it deepens. Hannah ends up lying on the grass underneath me. I feel myself grow hard, my erection digging into her, she must feel it to but she just pulls me closer. I pull away and move to lie next to her, my head resting on one elbow I stroke her bare arm as I look into her face.

'Why did you stop?' she asks.

'Because….'

'Because what?'

'Because I might have got carried away and I'm scared what it might do to our friendship'

'Matt you've just ignited feelings in me that I never knew I had, I didn't want you to stop. I've never felt like that before. I love you, I think I always have'

'Wow, I could be saying exactly the same to you, are we meant to feel like this?' I lean down, swooping in for another kiss.

I stop suddenly again, she's sits up and looks at me questionably, I pull her up to her feet and grabbing her hand take her back onto the jetty.

'I'm going to take you out on the rowing boat so that we don't do anything we might regret.' I tell her. She looks hurt. I continue 'We need to talk, and we can't talk if we're lying on the grass together.' I grab the oars and jump into the small boat, then take Hannah's hand to help her in.

'So what do you want to talk about, I'd still rather be lying on the grass with you.'

'I know, but you split up with Jordan a few days ago. I don't want to take advantage of you, if we are going to have a relationship then I want to do it properly, we don't need to rush anything. You've been my best friend since we were five years old, I've never kissed anyone like that before and from the moment my lips touched yours I wanted to make love to you. Both our emotions are all over the place at the moment so I think we should wait.' I pause, look at her intently then continue 'Hannah will you come out on a date with me tomorrow.' She nods shyly 'Good, that's that awkward question out of the way, another first; I've never asked a girl out before'

Grinning she says 'it would have been a first for both of us if we'd got carried away earlier'

'That's why when it happens it's going to be special, totally romantic, all hearts and flowers. Do you want to stay for dinner?'

'Will your mom mind?'

'Of course not she'll be delighted. I have to warn you though, no matter how much we've talked out here once we're back in the house I'll be back to 'no words' otherwise I'll only get question after question about what happened with Christian and I'm still too hurt to share it with them'

'Matt, you really need to get this sorted out with your brother before it gets any worse'

'Believe me, it can't get any worse. What he did has hurt me so much it's going to take an awful lot to get over it. I'm not going back to work for him and having just found out he owns most of Seattle then I'm not sure what I'm going to do for the rest of the summer' Hannah grins wickedly at me. 'Well maybe I can come up with a few ideas!'

I row the boat back to the jetty then help Hannah to climb out. We wander hand in hand back up to the house, stopping in the kitchen to grab some drinks we then sit out on the patio. Mom comes out to see us and I smile at her.

'I thought I heard voices, have you had a good afternoon?' she asks. I nod.

'Would you like to stay for dinner Hannah, it seems a long while since you've been here.'

'That would be lovely Mrs Grey, thank you' Hannah says then looks at me and smiles, I smile back shyly.

'Matthew Grey, what are you not telling me, and why aren't you speaking, even though I've not heard you I saw your lips moving earlier so something must have come out of your mouth' I shrug in a non-committal way. Then I look at Hannah. Mom looks at Hannah and raises her eyebrows as if to question her.

'Mrs Grey, Matthew asked me out on a date and I said yes. He's not speaking now because he's scared you're going to ask him about what happened the other day with Christian and he's still too hurt to talk about it' Hannah direct as ever says.

Mom comes round the table and hugs me 'My darling boy, we'll talk about it only when you are ready to do so. Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes; I'll go and warn your father that there's to be no inquisition yet.'

'Thanks mom, I love you' I whisper into her ear. She looks at me with the biggest smile ever.

Dinner is more pleasant than I expected, mom and dad respect my wish not to talk about Christian so we talk about anything but him. Elliot has called from Barbados and is having a fantastic time. Mia is still away with her friends and will return tomorrow so that she can help finish the final preparations for the ball that's taking place here next Saturday. I freeze, mom must notice. She takes my hand, 'Don't worry, if you don't want to go I will understand'

'Its ok mom, I'll have to face him sometime. Hannah have you got plans for next Saturday, would you like to accompany me to the ball' She smiles and nods. 'Good that's sorted, it will be easier with Hannah by my side mom, and it also means I won't have Mia's friends flirting with me and making me feel uncomfortable, especially Lily' I add with a shudder.

When dinners over I borrow mom's car and take Hannah to her house. It takes at least fifteen minutes to say goodbye. I only manage to leave with the promise that I can collect her at 10am in the morning so that we can go to the mall to get her a dress for the ball.

Mom is waiting up for me when I get home.

'How are you feeling? You looked so happy earlier with Hannah'

'Mom, it's all so new, I've never felt like this before. She wants me to sort out all the problems with Christian' I say.

'Sounds like good advice, but we still haven't heard from him. He's making us so cross and frustrated' mom says with a catch in her voice.

'He's emailed me a few times' I tell her and she looks at me hopefully. 'It's too early yet for me to reply, I'm still hurting so much mom'

'Don't rush, just take your time, dad and I will be here if you need us'

With that she hugs me and goes to bed. My emotions are all over the place, joy at what happened with Hannah earlier but still the pain from Christian. I'm too wired to sleep, instead heading to the family room to lose myself in the music on the piano.