Happy Easter Monday! (and don't worry there won't be an April fool)

Sorry for the disruption last week.

Thank you for the reviews… this new twist is building up to the Tropical wedding you all voted for. (I did warn you it affected the end of the tale!)

SPOILERS – this week – Marissa and Bianca have their mother's to dinner, Bianca and Miranda have an appointment at the psychiatrists and Erica begins to plot…

…

Bianca was getting into a cab after a long conversation with Dr Stanhope, longer than she had planned. She had gone for advice on how to face the session with Miranda tomorrow, but she'd ended up admitting so much more than she'd intended. But then Dr Stanhope and always been able to recognise her pain and draw her out. She thought she'd stopped keeping secrets, well, stopped keeping secrets from Marissa, but it seemed there were truths so deep that she had barely had the courage to voice them to herself.

She had found herself admitting that sometimes, at night, when Miranda was whimpering in her sleep at the nightmare that was playing in a loop around her head, Bianca would feel glad she killed Michael Cambias. She would be filled with an ugly feeling of delight at the memory of his shocked expression as she pulled the trigger. She wants to kill him a hundred times over for what he was still doing to her and her daughter. The surge of hatred scared her, and sickened her, but she felt it just the same…

And then there were the times when she'd look at Miranda, terrified to see in her daughter's face what she sometimes saw at the Centre. Children who had been through too much; seen and experienced things no child should. They are changed, no longer innocents. They are scarred and set apart, and would remain so for the rest of their lives. She doesn't want to see that look in Miranda's eyes. Her daughter was the one ray of hope that had dragged her out of the darkness. And now, through no fault of her own, Miranda was dragging her back in.

There she found herself telling Dr Stanhope about the moment yesterday, waking up in the couch with the weight of Marissa's sleeping body pressing down on her… for a second, half awake and half aware, she thought it was him. It was only for a second but it was a flash of hell that Bianca was so sure she'd long escaped from… But there was no escape, until Miranda was herself again hell was going to be following her everywhere.

In the Doctor's office Bianca had found herself voicing all her fears out loud in a way she never could, even with Marissa, and the doctor had just smiled back and listened and didn't judge. Stepping out into the autumn sunshine she felt as if a weight had lifted. Finding the words for all the fear that had built up inside herself, Bianca had talked herself round. She was ready to help Miranda! She was ready to find the words and share the pain and build the strength that her little girl needed to find closure.

...

After giving directions to the cab driver, Bianca pulled out her cell to check her messages. She found she had four missed calls; all of them from Kendall.

Concerned she quickly called her sister's number.

"At last," Kendall exclaimed when she answered, "I've been trying to reach you all day! Don't you ever answer your phone?"

"I've been in a meeting." said Bianca, confused by her sister's exasperated tone. "What's wrong?"

"Mom!"

Now Bianca was really worried.

"What's wrong with mom?"

"You didn't tell her about Miranda!"

…

Now the cab was pulling out from the doctor's office. Bianca looked briefly across to the driver before whispering harshly down the phone.

"What do you mean, mom knows about Miranda? Of course she knows!"

"All of it?" Kendall asked.

"She knows she's having nightmares but I didn't want to go into it all with her!"

"Why not? You did with me!"

"Yeah but you're not planning a wedding. Mom has got enough on her plate right now. I don't want to give her an excuse to postpone or change her mind."

"I think you hurt her feelings." said Kendall. "And… um… I think she's blaming Marissa for keeping you apart."

"That's ridiculous!"

"I know, but you know our mother, she's never been all that rational about things!"

"No, I mean that it's ridiculous that you think she'll blame Marissa. They get along great! She's coming to dinner tonight and Marissa invited her! You're wrong."

Kendall sighed at her end of the phone, sometimes her sister could be just as stubborn as their mother.

"She was so mad that you weren't there for the Celebration Dinner!" she explained. "I haven't seen her that blunt in a long while and there was a definite edge when she said Marissa's name."

"Well, if she is cross that we missed the dinner then she'll enjoy the fact that Marissa and I are having one for her and Krystal, to make up for it." said Bianca defensively.

"Okay fine… I admit I might be wrong about Marissa… maybe." said Kendall although she didn't sound convinced. "But please talk to mom, you know how she hates to be kept out of the loop!"

Bianca sighed. This was a conversation she has hoping to avoid having with her mother

"I'll say something tonight." she said slowly. "But I am not going to let this be an excuse for her to avoid marrying Uncle Jack, I've waited too long for her to finally get back together with Mr Right and I'm not going to be the one to ruin it for them!"

Kendall chuckled at her sister's words.

"Still putting everyone else first I see." she said reprovingly. "Just talk to her, make her feel useful… but do watch out, because I'm not sure I'm wrong about Marissa…"

…