'Matthew Grey, what are you doing?' Mia is home and is striding across the grass. I quickly slide my t-shirt back on; I don't want to have to explain to her the marks on my shoulder.

'What does it look like Mia' I say patiently. Grinning at Hannah I get to my feet then drag her to hers. 'Mia, you know Hannah already, we're now going out together'

Mia screams and hugs me 'I'm so happy for you' she says then hugs Hannah as well. 'Does Christian know?' she asks 'You know what he's like with any boy that I bring home, he's bound to be the same with you.' She says to me then turns to Hannah and says 'Even though you've been friends for forever and he's met you loads of times Hannah he'll give you the third degree now you're making out with his baby brother' Hannah grins back at her and replies 'I'll look forward to it'

The three of us walk back up to the patio; Mia's friends are sat at the table with drinks. Hannah and I say hello to be polite and then make a move to head inside, I don't really want to be spending the evening with Mia and her five friends. Mom and dad are at a charity fundraiser tonight so won't be back until later. In the kitchen we make omelettes and salad together-should we feel this normal and relaxed together after such a short time in a relationship. Just as we're finishing eating Mia and her friends come in to find food so we make a hasty retreat to my room. I lock the door and look at Hannah, a small look of fear crosses her face.

'Hey, what's the matter?' I ask her, stroking her cheek.

'We're up here alone and you've just locked the door' she replies.

'That's only so my nosy sister does not come barging in, don't worry I'm not planning on making it the first time tonight, remember I said we were going to take this slow, we've both got to be totally ready for anything more in this relationship and we're not rushing and spoiling the friendship that we already have.

Hannah almost sags with relief and then says ' When we're kissing it feel s so natural and I want you to take it further but then when I stand back and think about it I get scared. When you locked the door I thought that was what you were planning and I felt myself panic. I know I keep giving you all the signals when we're kissing and it would be so easy to get carried away but there's something holding me back. Matt what if I never feel ready?'

I take her in my arms and soothingly say 'Don't worry; we'll cross that bridge if it becomes an issue. Remember it's only been two days, don't feel you have to do anything you don't want at any time.'

We move towards the bed. Kissing me Hannah drags my t-shirt off. It feels so good just to have her hands touching me on my back and chest. I look at her and she seems to understand what I'm asking, she nods shyly and I take off her top and bra. Wow, skin on skin, this just gets better and better. Hannah moans as I move down to kiss her breasts. Playing with the nipple on one with my finger and thumb and having the other between my teeth Hannah writhes beneath me and arches her back 'No' she says and I stop and move back up to kiss her on the lips.

'Are you OK?' I ask her

'Yes, I just felt a strange sensation down there. That's never happened before.'

'Well that's good news' I reply, I'm a bit jealous that Hannah has had a bit of experience with previous relationships but it's good to know it feels different with me.

'Your turn' she says and before I know what's happening I'm underneath her, she starts kissing my chest moving down. She must have undone my trousers without me realising and then she's taken me in her mouth. I feel the sensation building, I want to come but not like this.

'Hannah stop, please before I come' I'm panting and breathless. Hannah does as I ask and moves to lie on my chest.

We lie for a while, me stroking her hair 'Have you done that before?' I ask.

'No, first time, I don't know what made me do it but it just felt right. I like kissing your erection to get you close'

'It worked; I could have come so easily. It felt amazing, I can't describe how good. If we carry on like this I don't know how we're going to stop but we have to learn control. I know you enjoyed what we did but I still don't feel you're ready to go all the way'

'Are you ready?' she asks. I have to think how to answer this carefully; I don't want to upset her by saying 'Yes'

'I'll only be ready when you are baby, we'll be ready together and at the moment we're not. It's too soon for both of us.' She seems satisfied with my answer as I give her a peck on the cheek and make her get dressed again to take away the temptation. Only then do I let her kiss me properly. My phone vibrates; I know who it will be but ignore it. I'll call him back later.

'It's late, I'd better take you home before your mom think's I'm a bad influence on you' I say.

'She already thinks that anyway, the only time I was ever in trouble at school was because you had lead me astray in some way' she replies cheekily.

'Well I'd better start behaving and get in her good books before I have my wicked way with her daughter. Come'

'I'd like to thank you' Hannah is now giggling.

'You are so rude; I'm driving you home now.'

On the journey back to Hannah's home the conversation returns to normality and we plan when we can next meet. Hannah is working tomorrow at her mom's florists; at least I will get time to swim and workout. In the evening Hannah has a gym class booked so Wednesday evening is the next date, I tell her I'll collect her at 7pm but will have a think about what we might do.

After another long goodbye I leave Hannah at her front door with her shopping bags and promise that I'll call her tomorrow. On the drive back home I think about what a good day this has been, the only bad thing in my life at the moment is that I still haven't made contact with Christian.

On entering the house I can hear that Mia is still entertaining as there's lots of girly laughter coming from the kitchen. As I climb the stairs I check my phone, it was Christian earlier as I knew it would be. There are two missed calls, and a voicemail.

He must have left the voicemail when his meeting had finished, he says' Andrea has just told me you called earlier, delighted you have words but absolutely gutted that I missed them, I wouldn't have minded being disturbed to hear your voice, I'll look forward to speaking to you soon, call me back when you can' from the tone of his voice I can tell he cares and wants to talk. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about him. I dial his number, he picks up straight away.

'Hi Matt' he says, I can't answer, there's a huge lump in my throat and nothing will come out.

'Matt, are you OK?' I nod, instantly feeling stupid because he can't see.

'Please speak to me, or I'll come and see you to make sure ok' Christian says, more demanding this time.

'I'm sorry, it hurts so much still' I sob and switch off the phone.

I get into bed, curled into a tight ball under the duvet and cry myself to sleep.