Hey everyone,
Happy New Year!
First chapter of 2014, this took me the longest to write...hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Once upon a Time, just the ideas in my head that I incorporated in this story!
Chapter 18
I stood frozen, my feet stuck to the ground beneath me, my eyes fixed on the Lost Boy.
'Are you alright?' The worry in Peter's eyes didn't affect me.
Pixie dust never fails. It leads to your happiness, to your true love.
Suddenly I realized that every touch, kiss and word had a meaning.
They were all acts of love...not only that, but true love. The small voice berating me about the difference between love and desire was slowly fading.
This explained everything. Why my heart would beat faster at sight of him. Why I was so nervous and blushed when we were so close. How I would think of him when he wasn't present. I had gradually been falling in love with this Lost Boy – because it was inevitable that we would find each other. Us. We were inevitable.
Only when I felt Peter's arms around me in a warm embrace, heat emitting from his chest, did my frozen state thaw.
Thinking of his previous question, I answered truthfully. 'I'm fine, I just don't know why I was so distant. What are you doing here?'
'I'll show you. Just close your eyes and trust me.' His hands covered my eyes and with instructions where to step we set out to his destination.
I could feel the scorching heat on the crunching sand, sometimes a coldness, meaning we were walking through a shaded area. But my senses were heightened with my lack of sight; anticipation mixing with the hidden joy that was filling my being.
Finally he took his hands away, letting me take in the breathtaking scenery. We were standing in a secluded cove; the soft waves of the endless ocean to my right, a huge wall of rock to my left.
It reminded me, just like the secret cave Felix had showed me, of how much was still hidden and waiting to be discovered in Neverland.
'I thought it would be a nice idea to have a picnic here. Away from the world, just the two of us.'
Spending the day with him alone, yet again, made my heart soar. Maybe it was time to tell him.
I turned to face him, to tell him of the pixie-dust and my love, but he held something behind his back, causing me to momentarily forget my pressing declaration.
'This is for you. A beautiful flower for an even more beautiful girl.' Peter brought out a single white lily from behind and handed it to me delicately.
It was a simple gesture, but it only proved my theory of my affections being returned even more.
'Tinkerbell did mention you having trouble with flowers and such things.' I stated casually while smelling the flower, a small smile creeping into my voice.
'I trusted her enough not to exploit my weaknesses...' He feigned being hurt and plopped down to the blanket which had suddenly appeared.
'I wouldn't call it that. Just the thought of you doing this makes me happy. Thank you, Peter.' I sat down next to him and leaned over to kiss his cheek.
Only a blanket wasn't a complete picnic, so closing my eyes, I thought of the different fruits the Lost Boys had brought me for breakfast once and freshly baked tarts along with other sweet desserts.
Just believe.
Bowls of the fruit and a plate with the sweet treats materialized in front of my eyes. Living here definitely had its benefits.
Peter went for a pastry, while I grabbed a big red apple, taking a bite.
'There used to be a saying back home. An apple..' I began to tell, but, like my other memories of my past that were cut off, I couldn't remember.
Peter raised his eyebrows, wiping away the crumbs and leftover filling from his lips.
'I don't know how it goes anymore. I do love apples, though I can't complain about the mango.' I quickly shook off my confusion and continued to eat my apple.
We spent the rest of the day finishing the food and taking a long stroll along the beach until the sun had set. Time did fly very fast with Peter.
There never seemed to be the right situation to bring up the events of this morning. It appeared true love would have to wait. But I promised myself that before we headed back to camp we would talk about it.
Laying down on the blanket and cuddling, we gazed at the stars of Neverland.
'That star, if you follow it, can lead you back home.' Peter pointed to the star on the right of a very prominent shining star.
The second star to the right.
'I would never want to go home, Peter. I am truly happy here with you, being lost.'
Now or never.
'Peter, what do you think about love?' During our walk I had had enough time to think about how to approach this delicate matter.
Peter didn't speak for a long time, contemplating his words carefully.
'To love is to be vulnerable. Loving someone is a weakness, opening your heart can break it.' He expressed the words with a sense of repulsion.
His words touched me deep. But I refused to let them affect me until I knew.
'Am I a weakness?'
'You have been from the beginning I looked into your eyes.' Peter shifted his weight on his side, turning to me, and I mimicked his movements.
Him saying these kinds of things made me feel more confident in expressing my own feelings.
'And worst of all, love means growing up. Something I never wanted to do. That's why I stayed in Neverland for so long. Defying all the laws and rules, I wanted to stay a child forever, never having to look back and worry about grown-up things like love, patience and morality. I know what these words mean, but I don't really know, either. Years of not having to feel those things made my heart impervious, I just cannot love.' The way he said the words, ramblig as if they didn't affect him, showed how...well, heartless he was.
I read in a book that heartbreak was the worst pain you could feel. Forget breaking bones or burning in searing heat, that could be mended with a healer and special herbs, but a broken heart would be a scar following you, no matter where you went.
And it wasn't a clean cut either. It was a slow burn, a slow break. And just as I thought I was on the verge of the chasm, tears threatening me behind my eyes, Peter spoke again, turning to me with troubled eyes.
'But with you, I can feel again. I don't know how, but it feels like the ice, something that's surrounded my heart for so long, is finally melting. Maybe it's the power of your heart bringing back what once used to be mine.'
And the tears receded as fast as they came when he cupped my face, sending warm signals to my heart. I could almost feel it glowing brighter within my chest.
'Do you know what pixie dust can do?' I whispered, trying to lead him to the reveal.
He nodded like it was the most obvious question. 'Makes you fly, heals your wounds and leads you to happiness, to your one true...love...' The last words got slower as he finally pieced the puzzle together, his eyes widening in realization.
'Tink gave you some, and you used it. It brought you to me, didn't it?' Peter sat up quickly, not daring to look into my eyes.
'Yes. And I'm…sorry.' In a way, I blamed myself for putting him in a position of taking sides. Love me – and with it, growing up, or youth. It was selfish of me to want him to choose my side, to choose me, but I wanted to be happy, and for him to be happy, too.
'What's going to happen now?' I rested my hand on his chest to feel his irregular heartbeat.
After a long silence, his racing heart calming down, Peter spoke, the words filling my heart with hope and above it all, love.
'I guess…I'll have to make an exception.'
He cemented his words by leaning down so our lips could meet, pouring in all emotion that was left unsaid. This time I was completely sure of what he was showing me in his kiss. I felt it in my heart –
The first Lost Boy was beginning to love.
So, yeah..it's Peter. Reviews are always appreciated!
(Peter's definition of love is based on my view, and some quotes from C.S. Lewis and James Baldwin shortened and mashed up.)
I will be gone for three days, so chapter-updates might be slow...I apologize in advance, but I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger and I think this chapter was rather nice...
Love you all,
aureaborealis