Author's Note: Hey guys, I'm back! Sorry this took more than a week to upload: I've been crazy busy studying! I had a bio exam yesterday, and a health exam today! But here's the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy! It's a few hundred words longer than it's been in a while :)
Though Barry's healing abilities still had not yet returned fullforce, the next two days of rest and near-constant supervision from Caitlin proved to be very beneficial; while not yet back to one hundred percent, it was clear - and a relief - to everyone that he was doing much better. His temperature was nearly back to normal, his wounds were on the mend, and while he had had a couple of power outbursts even after being given Caitlin's cure, they were now few and far between. He was getting better. Unfortunately for Team Flash, however, Barry's health was not the only thing they had on their plates.
"Seriously? An interview? You think that's the best course of action?" Cisco demanded; Caitlin, standing by his side, shrugged, looking frustrated.
"I'm not saying it's the best idea. But think about it: I know Singh has been trying to keep things under control as best as he can, but he can't get rid of their shock and curiosity. Everyone is dying for more information. If we actually give a little, things might calm down."
The source of the conversation, as well as the current tension, was the matter of Barry's identity exposure. While he had been getting better for the last two days, that situation hadn't improved at all; in fact, it seemed to get worse the longer the people of Central City went without any kind of answers. It left Team Flash stressed out and unsure how to proceed, and to add to all of it, Barry was still insisting he needed to talk to Shawna, though they had all been holding out on trying to deal with that for as long as possible. At the moment at least, Caitlin hadn't even allowed him to leave the bed, let alone the room to talk to a criminal. Said doctor sighed at the look she was given not only from Cisco but Iris and Joe as well. The four of them were gathered in the Cortex, getting no closer to a solution.
"I'm with Cisco on this," Joe chimed in. "An interview is a bad idea."
"It could be a bad idea," Iris stated slowly. "But has anyone actually bothered to ask Barry what he thinks? This is his life we're talking about here." Caitlin frowned.
"No," she admitted. "I thought we agreed to try and keep his mind off of the whole thing until he was better. We don't need him more stressed out than he already is while he's not fully healed."
"But he's doing so much better; he's nearly back to normal, you said so yourself," Iris protested. "He should be involved in this decision."
Caitlin still appeared skeptical, but Cisco came to Iris's rescue.
"Iris is right," he said firmly. "Barry has every right to be involved in this decision." The doctor of the group sighed.
"I know, you're right," she said. "We should go talk to him, then. I should be checking his vitals and injuries again anyways," she added, standing up. The other three followed suit, standing as well. As they began to walk towards the med bay, however, Cisco froze as he caught sight of one of the security monitors.
"Uhm, guys?" Caitlin, Iris and Joe immediately stopped in their tracks at his tone of voice, turning to face him.
"What is it?" Iris asked worriedly.
"Barry's not in the med bay," he said slowly, eyes still glued to the monitor. At those words, everyone immediately crowded around him to see for themselves what it was Cisco had spotted - and he was right. Barry wasn't in the med bay.
He was in the pipeline.
Barry wasn't a stupid man, although he was sure at this point, his friends and family would beg to differ. As he slid out of bed and carefully made his way down to the pipeline, he knew that it wouldn't be long before they found out he had ditched his bed and snuck off to the place he knew they did not want him to go. But this was something he felt he needed to do, and he refused to be stopped. Although, he did wish he was back at 100% so that he could use his speed without having to worry about there being any consequences as he continued to heal; moving at a normal pace - or less than normal, really, considering the fatigue that was still plaguing him - was almost agonizing. A trip that could have taken him a second took a full three minutes by his count, and he was sure he didn't have much time before his team went to check on him and discovered him missing.
Once down in the pipeline, he moved as fast as his weakened state allowed him to, and was able to get Shawna's cell in position rather quickly. As the door opened to reveal her, Barry felt a nervous pit in his stomach. Last time he had coherently been face-to-face with her, nothing good had come of it. But this was different, he told himself. This time the two of them were separated - and the circumstances were definitely not the same. The speedster leaned against one of the large metal pipes for support, biting at his already dry and cracked bottom lip.
As the teleporter's cell was revealed by the loudly-opening circular door, Barry watched her head snap up, an almost anxious expression shown on the girl's face. The one-way mirror gave him a perfect view of her, but she had no idea who had come to see her.
"Who's there?" she called out after a moment, standing up. Barry was silent for a moment, taking time to compose himself before speaking out.
"...it's Barry," he said finally, his tongue feeling heavy; the words felt foreign in his mouth, speaking his real name to someone who should not have known his identity. But of course, she did know his identity - everyone knew. Shawna taken aback; clearly, she had not expected the Flash himself to come to see her, her wide eyes and tense posture a dead giveaway.
"...Barry," she echoed, taking what looked like an unconscious step backward in the tiny space. She was quiet for a few seconds then before adding. "Are you going to kill me?"
It was Barry's turn to look taken aback, although he knew that she could not see the reaction. "No," he was quick to say. "I don't kill people." The girl seemed to relax slightly at the words, though she was still quite obviously on edge.
"Then why are you here?" she asked. "Why the hell would you want to see me?"
Barry paused another moment, closing his eyes for several seconds and taking a deep breath. The next words he spoke also felt odd, but he knew they were necessary - and that, even though it must have seemed incredibly strange, he meant them.
"Because I wanted to thank you," he said. Shawna's expression would have been comical, had the situation not been so serious. Her mouth moved like a fish out of water gasping in air, as if she were trying to form words but had no idea what to say. And in all honesty, she probably didn't. Barry had taken her by surprise, and he knew it.
"You wanted to thank me?" she asked incredulously. "God, Mardon gave you brain damage - you're fucking crazy," she muttered, looking down at the floor of her cell briefly before lifting her head to look in his general direction again. "Thank me?" she repeated. "I almost got you killed."
"But you didn't," Barry replied, his voice portraying a little more confidence. "In fact, you're the reason I'm still alive."
When the meta girl stayed quiet, uncomprehending, Barry pushed on.
"Listen, I know - I know that you organized this whole thing. But I'm also almost positive Clay initiated it. Not that I'm saying you're innocent," he said, and Shawna looked down again, her face slightly guilty. "But I heard what you did," he added. "I don't - I don't really remember anything that happened after Snart blasted me. But I know that they would have tried to kill me, if you hadn't helped Snart fight them off. You helped save my life. So yes, I wanted to thank you."
"Oh...kay," Shawna replied almost skeptically, as if she still couldn't quite comprehend the fact that Barry was thanking her after what she had done.
"Look, Shawna," Barry started with a sigh. "I don't - I really don't think that you're…a bad person," he said slowly. "But I think a big part of that is…the crowd you get mixed up in. Clay, too. But by helping me when I really needed it, I think it shows that -"
"Barry!" The unmistakable voice of Caitlin echoed from behind him.
The speedster jumped and stumbled a bit at the sudden interruption, whirling around as fast as he dared to see his friends and family practically charging into the room, Caitlin leading the pack with a less-than-pleased expression on her face. The doctor reached the wall control panel in no time and immediately slammed the button that closed the door to the cell area, concealing the meta girl from sight and earshot. Judging by the look on not just her face but all of theirs, he was sure that one of them would have slapped him upside the head had he not still been recovering from his illness and concussion.
"What the hell are you doing?" Joe demanded harshly, stepping in before any of the others could. Barry nearly winced at the anger that seemed to resonate in his voice, but instead held his ground, not showing any regret for his actions.
"I was doing what I said I've been wanting to do for the past two days," he responded coolly. "If I tried to tell you I was coming down here, you would have tried to stop me."
"Of course we would have!" Joe replied, his voice raised; he was shouting now. "I don't get you, Barry. How can you be so damn reckless!? First you go out to try and save the day when you know damn well you're in no condition to, get yourself kidnapped and nearly killed - and then you insist on talking to the one who nearly finished you off! You can't just do these things, Barry!"
"Dad -" Iris started, trying to defuse the situation before it escalated any farther, but it was too late for that. Barry's previously calm facial expression morphed into one of anger.
"People needed my help, Joe!" He yelled right back. "I wasn't just going to leave them to get hurt or worse when I was the fastest one who could get there! And yeah, I wanted to come down here and have a damn conversation with Shawna without being told that I'm stupid or not thinking straight or not allowed to! After everything that's happened, I would like to be in control of at least one Goddamn aspect of my life, if that's alright with you!" Joe seemed taken aback by the response, and everyone was quiet for a moment as Barry scowled at them all. But it didn't take long for them all to notice that the speedster's eyes were watering, and soon he was shoving past them, tapping into his speed to get away from their suddenly overbearing presence despite the fact that he knew he shouldn't have just yet.
By the time he made it back upstairs, he was dizzy from the action but soldiered through it, ducking into the treadmill room and closing the door behind him. He made it over to the treadmill and sat down on the edge of it, placing his head in his hands and trying to contain his emotions. He knew that they would be pissed that he had gone down to the pipeline; he had expected it. Yet somehow Joe's anger still seemed to get into his head - what right did he have to be angry? Barry's life was the one falling apart. He knew that his friends, his family - they were affected by what had happened too. He knew. But he wished that they would at least try to understand where he was coming from - understand that yes, they were hurting, but he was hurting more.
When the door to the room creaked open several minutes later, he was still trying to get his feelings in check. He expected to see Iris standing there; she always seemed to be able to find him. But as he lifted his head slowly from his hands to look, he was caught off guard to see that it was actually Joe. For one tense moment, the two of them stayed in their respective spots, Barry on the treadmill and Joe standing in the doorway. But finally the detective moved, slowly but deliberately, to sit beside Barry on the treadmill. It was silent for several seconds before Joe also made the first move in speaking.
Taking a deep breath and looking sincerely at his foster son, he said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just - Bar, you scared the hell out of us. Out of me. And I - it's hard for me to let go of that feeling, you know? The feeling of not knowing if we would lose you or not. And every time you asked to talk to her - and seeing you down there, talking to her - God, it just… brought all those feelings rushing right back up."
The detective paused, running a hand over his face before continuing.
"But I didn't even think about why you wanted to do it, your reasons. That you might have needed it, after…everything. I'm sorry."
Barry was quiet for several moments, soaking in Joe's apology and taking a calming deep breath of his own before replying.
"I'm sorry too," he said quietly. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just - frustrated."
Joe reached out and placed a hand gently on Barry's shoulder.
"And you have every right to be," he said. "This is a frustrating situation. Stressful, too. And moreso for you than us, I'm sure. But it is going to be okay, Barry. You know that, right? We're going to make it through this, just like we've done with every other crazy curveball life has thrown our way. You're not alone in this." Barry managed the smallest of smiles at the encouraging words.
"I know," he said, and Joe smiled back.
"But can I ask you a question?" Barry gave him a curious look and noded. "Was that really the only reason you went down to see her? To feel in control?"
Barry sighed. "That was part of it," he admitted. "But I also…I needed to thank her," he said slowly, slightly fearing Joe's reaction; the detective raised his eyebrows, and Barry continued. "I know you're angry with her. I think I still am a little bit too, but - she's not a bad person, Joe. And she made the right choice, when it really mattered. She helped me."
"That doesn't mean I'm going to forgive her," Joe answered.
"And I don't ask you to," Barry said. "But I do. So for me, just please don't make any rash decisions when it comes to deciding what to do with her."
Joe let out a deep sigh. "Okay," he said. "Okay." Barry's smile widened the slightest bit, and Joe stood, offering his hand to his foster son.
"Now let's go back to the med bay before Caitlin has a fit. She only gave me five minutes until she comes barging in here herself to check on you." Barry couldn't help but chuckle as he grabbed Joe's hand and stood, the two of them walking side-by-side to where the rest of Team Flash waited.
Author's Note: Hey, not a cliffhanger! That's got to feel good for the second time in a row. Anyways, next chapter will be focused on what they're actually going to do now that Barry's identity is out in the open! There will actually be interactions with the public. This story is wrapping up! Until next time!