Chapter 8: ZOMBIIIEEEEEE
Frankyfitzfuck has joined the chat
alosexgod (17:01) Shortstuff! About time you got your ass here!
frankyfitzfuck (17:03) Been busy, sorry! Miss you guys though
alosexgod (17:04) we all miss you too!
frankyfitzfuck (17:05) where are the blind lovebirds at then?
alosexgod (17:06) Ballet for grace, jade for rich.
frankyfitzfuck (17:06) you should do something, Alo! They fucking love each other. We've known it for agesssss
alosexgod (17:08) HEY, what the fuck can I do?!
frankyfitzfuck (17:08) We'll think of something…
frankyfitzfuck (17:08) Isn't it zombie movie night 2moz?
alosexgod (17:10) yh :P ZOMBIIIEEEEEE
frankyfitzfuck (17:11) Sooooo… y don't you just give them some time to talk. You know, hint to Rich or Grace that the other one likes them.
alosexgod (17:12) Grace is bringing her fitty friends though.
frankyfitzfuck (17:12) fitty friends? Huh?
alosexgod (17:15) Ohhh… just these 2 new friends of hers.
frankyfitzfuck (17:16) She never told me about them.
alosexgod (17:17) Dunno why… jade's coming too.
frankyfitzfuck (17:17) I already hate her.
alosexgod (17:19) We all do.
"We literally swam through a knee-level amount of cowshit for this?" Mini asks, doing quite a good job at remaining calm under the current circumstances. Well, I think she might be overreacting as well, because we didn't really do swimming, but it is always horrible to have to walk over the field to the farm.
"Aloha ladies," Alo pops his head around the door to the barn, as all three of us show varying levels of excitement to his appearance. Mini being annoyed, Liv being amused and me rushing over to get picked up by my very best friend.
"Aloha Alo," I squeak with a giggle, as he puts me back down.
"Mini, Liv, you're in for a treat." He says, as he points over to his makeshift coffee table that has bowls full of popcorn on it and a little cooler which I assume is full to the brim with beer. I raise my eyebrows at him with a small smile, as zombie nights usually consist of us huddled on the sofa with Rich and Alo excitedly shouting at all the gruesome scenes whilst Franky and I try to annoy them with 'obvious' questions about zombies. We never get treats to go with it, unless you include his Mum's leftovers, which I don't usually.
"Plus Rich and Jade are sorting out nachos." I should be extremely surprised over the additional nachos, but my heart is sinking fast at the mention of those two names together.
Ah, yes. The realization that I have a crush on Rich Hardbeck was so surprising that I've tried not to think about it since. 'Tried' being the operative word, I've barely been able to think about anything else. I always wondered what crushes as big as this would feel like, the joy I would feel over being one step closer to finding true love, but it's all a bit… rubbish.
"Right, what's first in this shitfest then?" Mini asks, plopping down on the sofa after trying to remove as much dog hair as she can from it.
Alo looks like he wants to bound straight after her, but he plays it cool (well, cool for Alo) by first approaching me. I'm still standing near the door, feeling too depressed to make fun of the movie titles like I can hear Liv doing right now.
"Chin up, Gracey, it might never happen." He says, playfully lifting up my chin.
It has happened though. And is happening right now as I can hear Jade and Rich fast approaching due to the soft sounds of laughter filling the air. I want to die.
Maybe not that extreme, but I wouldn't say no to the ground opening up right now and swallowing me so I could live in a dark place until this zombie movie night is over.
"Hiya Rich. Jade, hi." I say with the weakest of smiles as Rich comes to a silent halt as he sees me.
"Hey Grace." He states, finally moving to place the nachos on the table. I take a deep breath, finally moving away from the door and deciding to participate in the 'fun'.
Alo has, of course chosen the seat nearest Mini, whilst Rich chose the seat next to Alo and Jade sat next to him. Liv has chosen the armchair next to Mini and that leaves me with only one option: a little stool with no back to it. I don't know about you, but I do not do well with chairs that have no backs to them. Also this means I am sitting almost directly in front of Jade and Rich – I'm going to feel like some sort of pet. Hopefully a cat.
I clear my throat, carefully perching myself on the edge of the stool, so that I don't end up falling backwards. Everyone else seems to be arguing over which movie to start with, so hopefully they don't notice on how many levels I'm uncomfortable with this. Well, Jade isn't arguing, but I can hear her complaining to Rich about how cold it is. Against my better judgment I listen a little more closely.
"It's fucking freezing, I'm going to need a blanket or twelve to suffer through this movie." Out of curiosity my head snaps around to see what Rich is wearing. Like I suspected he's wearing his leather jacket. He could easily just give it to her, he gave me his jacket yesterday and I didn't even complain about the weather! Or did I? I can't really remember, because all I was thinking at the time was, 'I can't believe this is happening. What's happening? His jacket. Yes, his jacket, he just gave me his jacket!'
Rich catches my eye and before I have time to act like I was staring at the woodwork just above his head, he speaks.
"Are you okay on the shit seat?" And now he's not even responding to his girlfriend, but asking me how I'm doing? This is just unacceptable on so many levels and Jade must notice it too.
"Uh Rich? I'm cold." Rich slowly turns his face from mine to hers as I turn back to stare at the screen that now has a DVD menu on it. Guess everyone made a decision without me.
"Uhhm… yeah, blankets. Right. At the back on the bed there should be some." I hear Rich finally responding to Jade. I don't dare to look back around for the entire duration of the movie.
Finally! So long as nobody suggests a second movie, I should be free to leave now. I can't stop the grin from spreading across my facial features as the ending credits begin. In my head I'm dancing wildly at the thought, in reality I'm still sitting on the shit seat.
"That actually wasn't half bad, ginger minger." Mini finally notes, probably making Alo the happiest he's ever been.
"Still shit, but a good kind of shit." Liv also says, I turn to look at them all, and I was right. Alo has turned an attractive shade of tomato red and it's incredibly adorable.
I should be extremely happy with this outcome as well, I mean I was trying to get us all to become one big happy gang and it seems to be slowly but surely working. I just can only think about how much I don't want Rich and Jade to be together and it's selfish of me. I don't know how much longer I can bear it.
"We could do another one then. Meat Market 2 anyone?" No, no, no. I need to leave. Not just because of the shit seat, but also as Rich and Jade are beginning to make out.
"Eh… It wasn't that great, Alo. I'm going." I have never been so happy to hear Mini say something downright rude. Even if it means Alo's little puppy face has fallen. Again it's just another sign that I'm being selfish.
"Well, wait, it would be rude to not at least do one round of beer, right?" Liv, darnit, why does she have to develop a conscious over how they're treating Alo. No, no, I'm sure I can handle one drink.
"Fine. One drink then we leave. Before I get accustomed to the smell of 50 shades of shit." Alo perks up once more despite the insult.
"I think you should come to our club night as well." Liv says casually, which confuses me and seems to irritate Mini.
"Club night?" I ask blankly.
"Ah yes, club night. For us girlies, we were going to discuss it later." Mini says, staring at me before snapping her head towards Liv. "Alo's not a girl, Liv."
"I'm practically one. Come on, it'll be fun, you can help me get laid."
"That would take a century of hard work." Mini says through gritted teeth, but she doesn't seem to be as against the idea as I've heard her be about other things. I feel like if Alo did come though it would end with him being sad.
"Yeah, fun. We can invite the tonguers as well." Liv adds, not looking too pleased with that addition.
"Uh… pretty sure they've got date night, but I'm totally free and ready." Mini turns away, looking extremely annoyed, but still she hasn't said no. Alo seems to take this as a yes as well for he begins throwing beers to all the girls.
"Gracey?" He asks and I nod, getting ready to catch a bottle.
Okay, I never realized until exactly now how terrible of an aim Alo has. The bottle is heading straight behind me and – I'm pretty sure everyone knows where this is going due to the shit seat – due to the lack of back padding on my seat, I fall backwards, lying in the mud and straw. My dignity has flown away as I see Rich and Jade finally pull away from the kiss, either because they heard the thud of me falling or they can hear the uproar of everyone laughing at me.
"You okay?" ARGH, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO KEEP ASKING THINGS AND BEING SWEET?! I can see Jade smirking at my current position, but Rich is leaning forward as if he wants to help me, not laugh at me.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Dandy as a dandelion. I'm just going to go to the bathroom, I think." I say hurriedly, as I try to stand up and leave as fast as possible.
As soon as I get out of the barn, I simply stand around the corner, trying to get some deeper perspective on the whole night.
It was sucky. That's the only conclusion I can come to.
"Why are you looking so miserable tonight?" Of course it's Rich who follows me out like a concerned person to fuel my crush on him. Why couldn't he remain the bastard that he always is? I would still have a crush on him, but maybe then it would be easier to be around him.
"Why aren't you inside with Jade?" It comes across sharper than I intended, just another string of proof that I can't cope with emotional feelings for this boy.
"Uh… because I wanted to come and ask why you're so miserable?" He asks, looking taken aback by my shortness with him.
"No, Rich, why haven't you been giving Jade your jacket or finding out what she wants to drink or just doing anything that a boyfriend does with a girlfriend? Why are you just doing it with me? I'm not yours," My voice grows quiet as I reach the last sentence, mainly because I'm regretting saying it as soon as it comes out of my mouth.
That sentence is a little too close to the truth; it's upsetting me so much because that's right, I'm not his.
"I -," He says, blinking a few times as he stares at me. Then he licks his lips as he's about to fight back. "I know you're not mine, Grace. This is why you're miserable?"
"I'm not miserable." I state in a rather decided manner before lowering my gaze to stare at my shoes. We remain in silence for a short while until I hear him sigh loudly.
"Believable that was. Very fucking believable… Look I've only been trying to be nicer to you because, you know, you've been acting like a -,"
"Like a what?" I ask, trying to hide my outrage and hurt, but doing a terrible job at it.
"Like a horrible person." I let out a noise which is a mixture between a growl and a sigh, because of course that wasn't the description of me he was going to use. "You've barely spoken to me unless I've forced you into it and so I thought if I was nicer then maybe you'd want to spend more time with us."
I pout, slowly turning to look back at him. He looks really hurt that I've been so distant; I decide to make one smaller attempt to get my point across.
"It's just been since you started hanging around Jade, I feel a little out of…" I would continue on, but he's been shaking his head since I started speaking.
"It was before that. It's since the kiss." Silence grows as he finishes that sentence. I open my mouth to say something, to argue that he's wrong, but I've known since that kiss that I had feelings for him; my head's only just caught up with this fact though.
"Rich," Jade couldn't have come outside to interrupt us at a better time, because I have no idea what I would say in that moment. It might have been me telling him how much I like him.
"Uh yeah," Rich replies vaguely, turning away from staring at my face to look at his girlfriend who is fast approaching where we're standing. I feel an uneasy breath escaping my lips, wondering how I'm ever going to accept the fact that they are boyfriend and girlfriend.
"We should go. Those bitches are beyond irritating, no offense, Grace, I know they're your friends and all, but…" She pulls a face at the end of her sentence before planting a kiss on Rich's cheek. I don't know how I'm ever going to get over it. They are boyfriend and girlfriend, they are made for each other, I picked her for him for crying out loud, but how I wish it was me instead of her.
I'm never going to get over it and if it's making Rich confused about why I can barely talk to him then doesn't he deserve to know. Or is that me being selfish again?
"Sure, let's go to my place or something." He says with a small half-smile playing on his lips. He never smiles when I complain about anything.
"Cool, I'll get my bag." She gives him a wider smile which makes him smile even more as well. I just can't do this.
"Rich…" I start as she walks out of earshot. "I don't think I'm going to be able to hang out much with you for a while."
"What?" He asks with no rudeness or anger in his voice just confusion. His eyes are wide and my probably reflect this as I am sure mine are beginning to well up. This is the best I can make of the situation though. If I could get away with finding it unbearable to hang out with him due to my feelings without hurting Rich then I would do it, but with all the questions he's asked tonight…. I just can't. Rich loves honesty more than anyone else I know and if I can't be honest with him then I'll probably lose him as a friend forever.
"I like you a lot… More than just friends and I'm sorry, I just don't know how to be around you right now." As soon as the words leave me I realize how selfish I'm being, possibly ending our friendship all because I have feelings for him. It's so unfair and I also realize, for once, I don't really care if I'm being selfish, because know I'm not going to be able to keep up normality around him for at least a while. I'm on the verge of tears and he is simply staring into space, still looking just as confused as before.
I wipe at one of my eyes before setting off towards Alo's empty barn, hoping for some peace and quiet when a voice pulls me back.
"Grace," I only have the tiniest amount of courage to stop and look back at him over my shoulder. He is awkwardly standing with one hand in his hair and it gives me hope that maybe what he's about to say isn't so bad at all.
"We can't just not spend time together… You're my best friend." I feel like a massive pink elephant has walked right up to me and kicked me in my tummy.
Jade is re-approaching, so I know I have to get out of here as quickly as possible.
"Sorry," I practically murmur before running off in the direction of Alo's house. Perhaps I can get a lift from Alo's Dad or something home. I just need to get out of here fast.
I can't believe we've ended things like that. It was both the nicest and most heart-wrenching thing he had ever said to me.
He has never told me straight out before that I'm his best friend.
I'm still only a friend when it comes to the ranks of relationships.
a/n: SO IT'S BEEN A WHILE! I've got way too many excuses for why that took so long and to return with just a filler chapter makes me feel sad. BUTTTT
The BIG chapter I've been talking about since basically the beginning is the next chapter. YAYSERS! Stuff happens that make it a pretty big turning point in the story, it's pretty much one of the climatic points imo, so I hope you're all excited for it! LOVE YOU ALL