It's been so long that it's practically unfair to even apologize or give an excuse. Life is just life and it does get busy. I hate seeing unfinished stories, especially this one that I love so dearly. I can't promise when, but it will definitely get finished one day.

Frankyfitzfuck (11:45) okay, guess I'm the only with a half day today

Frankyfitzfuck (11:45) I thought you and gracey were going to be together already with everything I've been hearing.

Frankyfitzfuck (11:45) Look I'm sure this metal loving girl of yours is the absolute balls, but…

Frankyfitzfuck (11:46) shitface, when you're ready to stop lying to yourself and admit you and princess are meant for each other, then give me a message.

Frankyfitzfuck (11:46) Or better yet

Frankyfitzfuck (11:47) Give her a call and tell her all about it. Thanks.

I do not like Grace Violet Blood.

That is the ultimate truth. That is something I am sure of just like I am sure of the fact that my name is Richard Hardbeck, I live in Bristol, Metal is the best genre of music and Anita is a lunatic.

Of course it could be argued that this statement is a lie, because I do like Grace. I like Grace as a friend, but the implications of me currently saying I like Grace mean that I like her romantically. AND I DO NOT.

The thought of that even as a possibility makes me want to be sick.

Sure, there have been moments where people might disagree with that statement, but fuck them all, they're all wrong.

Like anybody cares about the goings on of Rich and Grace anyway unless it's about me finding flaws in Grace's favourite Disney movies.

"I do not like Gr-,"

"Uh… are you talking to yourself?"

I jolt my head up from where I was resting it on my History assignment and watch my pen that I was grasping in my hand go flying to land on the table in front of me that also happens to be in front of Jade.

So I've looked at a certainty, now time for an uncertainty in my quest to have a more philosophical mind in order to pass my AS Philosophy.

I don't know how I feel about Jade.

And that's the thing that makes things so fucking shit. Jade is supposed to be 'me with a vagina' according to Alo, but sometimes she's like a massive dick and is really annoying about her favourite bands and it feels like that's all we talk about. Am I like that too?

"You got a bit of pen on your face." I reach up and start wiping my cheek where I think it is. "Kind of all over your face."

She laughs slightly and moves closer to me, making me completely aware of what she's about to do. I like the kissing. The kissing is nice.

She stops herself though when she's just inches away from my face. A concerned expression takes over and she lightly pulls away. Urgh… shit, this is the sign that we'll actually have to talk now.

"Why haven't I heard from you all weekend?" Jade starts out and I immediately know what walking into the pits of hell feels like.

"Well, I was sick, wasn't I?" Jade scrunches up her face and I can't tell if she's doing it sarcastically or genuinely confused. Sarcasm is not even second nature to me, it's first, so how can I not understand her? I probably need Grace her to help me infiltrate the mind of a girl.

"Really? You never told me you were sick."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

That's right, I told Grace and Alo and everyone that it was Jade who was sick. I had told her I had a family dinner.

"Yeah, uhm… I was sick." I can't think of anything else to say. My hands start to clam up as she tilts her head to one side and puckers her lips in what I assume is a frown.

"Awh, poor you. You missed out on what could have been a fun night." She raises her eyebrow as if to suggest I knew what I was missing out on, like what was I missing out on?

She leans in to kiss me again. Thank fuck, I couldn't take any more of that.

Thought too soon.

She kisses me for a mere second before pulling away once more to express confusion. Me and you both, Jade.

"I thought you had a family dinner?"

Now I think I can add another thing to the list I was making about why I am confused about her – she's coming across as quite slow. Yeah, I lied about being sick, but how did it take her that long to remember that I was actually supposed to be at a family dinner… which was also a lie.

This is why I'm usually honest. Lying is stupidly fucking confusing.

"Yeah, got sick after that. Uhmmmm… food poisoning maybe." She begins to smile and at first I think it means good things are coming next, but then it changes for the worse.

"Or maybe you got sick from the night out you had afterwards with Alo and your little friend?"

Maybe not so slow then…

"How did -,"

"There's this amazing new thing called Facebook."

Great. Fucked over by my generation yet again.

All coherent sentences that I could make at this point escape my head like an animal chasing after its' prey. And that's pretty much how she is making me feel, like the prey she's attacking.

And when did I start using metaphors to describe my emotional state like a tit? Like Grace fucking Blood?

"Look," I start, but I don't know what we're looking at. "I just went after dinner –,"

"Stop making me out for an idiot and just say something honest here."

"Loo -," I stop myself completing that word and think about what was the truth for that night? "Well, Grace's friends are knobs and I didn't like Alo and Grace being out with them, so I thought I should go see what was up."

"Holy shit, you totally like her, don't you?"

"What? Grace? You think I like Grace?"

She shook her head turning away and holding the sides of her face like her head was at risk of exploding if she didn't.

"Grace?"

"Stop saying her name! Just answer the question!"

I'm about to lose it. I DO NOT LIKE HER.

"Fine, I don't like Gra – her. We're just friends and not even proper friends. She's just this girl that latched onto us when we were too stupid to say no, okay? Nothing else!"

I really have lost it. Whatever it is, as if it's referring to my sanity then I've only been gripping to that by the skin of my teeth as the world pushes at my sanity on a daily basis with these idiots that scream about being famous when they've got a couple of tweens following them on snapchat or whatever the next craze on social media is, and the old people that want to get the Polish out of 'our' country when seemingly they don't know the first thing about the history of 'our' country and the fucking fake-ness that surrounds us all because everyone is so scared about saying how they actually feel, so they act like they love the skin off of people.

Okay, maybe I definitely have finally lost it.

I feel like I've taken it too far with my line of convincing. I've gone on using sarcasm in a way that you can't tell I'm being sarcastic and I've started a line of defense that is a total lie… Of course Grace is a friend. Great, I've lied again and it's coming off bad on Grace.

And bad-mouthing Grace like that seems to make her shut up. It seems to make everything okay again, but it's not. It's so far from that for me that it's like pissing into a toilet and it missing and going into the sink.

Fuck, there I go with the similes or metaphors or whatever I'm doing this time.

I don't reject the kissing, because of course I'm a disgusting teenage boy. I have no further defense.

And then I see her big, brown eyes looking at me through the window, showing a sadness that I probably immediately imitate with mine.

When I see her turn and run away, I instantly let go of Jade and say, "I really need a piss," and start running off as well.

I have only one explanation for this.

This New Year's Eve, Grace had an idea – as she usually does – that we – meaning me, her, Alo and Frankie – should make a list of New Year's resolutions, hide them somewhere and not look again until a whole year later.

I don't remember many of them, but one is sticking in my head right now.

I wrote that I would stop making Grace cry.

Years and years after continually upsetting her and making her cry for being – what she would call – a dick, I decided this year I would try not to make her cry. I had done okay, but in the past few weeks I knew I was doing a shitty job and now I could visibly see her crying, so I had to go.

She hadn't gone that far, I saw her turning the corner when I left the classroom. I run too, following the same route and she's right by her locker when I turn the next corner. She is viciously going through it, taking whatever she needs and throwing back in whatever she does't. It is so fucking obvious that she's crying that it makes me want to punch myself.

I slow down, getting right to her before saying anything.

"Grace, I know that was shit, but…"

She is definitely startled by my appearance, wiping ruthlessly across her eyes in an attempt to hide the fact that I upset her. Don't worry, I already know what a shithead I am, you don't need to hide that.

"Go away, you… you prick." She manages to turn from sad to angry in a matter of seconds.

"I know that hurt, I'm fucking sorry."

"You don't know!" She is turning on me faster than I had time to prepare for. What was I even planning on saying when I came over? "What hurts is that I was so honest with you. I told you something that could – that has – ruined us and you're lying. You're so high and mighty about not being fake, but you're not making sense with anything -,"

"I haven't lied to you." I didn't think I had lied anyway.

"You said I was your best friend – that's now a lie according to that." She practically spat out that word and I wonder how the hell I managed to make Grace angrier than I had ever seen her angry before. "I may walk around in a fantasy and believe in fairy tales as you say I do, but at least I'm not creating this twisted, lying tale like you!"

She shuts her locker door. Well, I say shut, I mean more like slammed it like it was my face. She turns away, clearly deciding she has nothing more to say.

I know I had more to say, but I don't know what it is at this point. Surely I had something to say that could make this shitstorm turn into a regular British rainy day?

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. To a fucking castle in the clouds."

Only Grace could say a completely nonsensical and crazy thing, and make it beautiful.

Fuck it, maybe I do like Grace Violet Blood.