Hey everybody,

a new chapter just for you! I cannot stress how much I love all your reviews and just the fact that you read this story as it progresses...*smiles till it hurts*. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Once upon a Time, just the ideas in my head that I incorporated in this story!

Chapter 31

Aura's POV:

Ever since I'd had the feeling that something must've gone terribly wrong, that I wasn't supposed to be here, I'd kept a journal. Except this journal didn't have a date written at the upper right hand corner as I couldn't tell when a new day started. My journal was special, because I didn't write about what had happened during my time trapped in the cave, since that was quite uneventful. Instead, I simply scribbled the word that described the feeling I was experiencing when I was awake. Each page had a new word noted. Before I went to bed, I took out the old notebook that I kept hidden under my pillow, not that I really needed to keep it hidden from anyone except me.

With a snap of my fingers, the torch on my nightstand next to my table lit up, providing enough light for me to read. Gently caressing the leather spine, I marveled at how simple the book looked on the outside, but what complex secrets it kept written along the pages inside. As I opened the book, I couldn't help but smell the inside of the book -the paper, the ink, the glue- and I felt a distant memory tugging my mind. Maybe it was when I was still happy and free, back in better times.

I had managed to write many simple, but powerful words on the pages of my journal. But I hoped I wouldn't have to finish filling the rest of the blank pages, since I wanted to leave this island, be somewhere safe with my brother. I still believed he would come for me.

I noticed how my handwriting had evolved from the neat, slightly left slanted letters to somewhat bad handwriting -a cursive that slowly turned to squiggles- that nobody could read, only me. And considering I was the only one reading and writing, that was all that mattered.

Confused

Scared

Trapped

Confined

Cramped

Anxious

On edge

Bored

Alone

Panicky

I remembered not comprehending how I got into the cave, enclosed by the abyss into the unknown. And waiting for someone, anyone, to show up. And the magical glow of my heart being very weak…

Longing

Trusting

Hopeful

Frustrated

Alone

Deserted

Trapped

Scared

Helpless

I recalled thinking about Pan, him being the knight in shining armour, rescuing me; the damsel in distress and riding off to the happily ever after I believed we deserved. But he never came, and that hope disintegrated fast.

Numb

Sad

Empty

Hopeless

Broken

Glum

Downhearted

Alone

I reminisced on how books always brought me to faraway lands and realms, where I could go on adventures, but at the end of a story I would end up in the small stone island, and with that knowledge, I began to lose myself. To compensate for the lack of being around other people, I manifested images of Pan, Felix and other Lost Boys and would talk to them. For some time, it made me feel not so lonely.

Happy

Loved

Excited

Hyper

Worried

Troubled

Alone

I reminded myself of the short period of time when I felt in high spirits; when Felix came to visit me and promised a new life. Something different than my solitary confinement. Even when my brother didn't return after some time, I reassured myself it was because he needed time to come up with a plan that would actually work. And when the bridge had disappeared after some time, I felt alone, once again.

Agitated

Restless

Angry

Annoyed

Alone

Distrustful

I relived when I was unable to relax, always stomping and pacing through the area with my restless energy. Sometimes I would throw books into the dark around me, but I never felt relieved of my frustration.

Fuzzy

Forgetful

Hungry

Alone

Tired

I looked back when I was barely living, like the powers of my heart weren't giving me the strength I needed to live. Also, I would stand in one place and the next second I would stand somewhere else on the stone island, not knowing or maybe forgetting how I got there.

Alone

Sick

Alone

Sick

Today I only kept getting headaches and cramps in weird places, and on occasion, I would have to throw up. I felt sick and alone; and I desperately wanted to change that.

Closing my book, I pushed it under the pillow and shut my eyes, forcing myself to sleep. The sound of burning wood that was cackling and the dripping of water from the ceiling of the stone cave were my lullaby that calmed me as I slipped into unconsciousness...

Not fully in reality, I felt a body slip into my bed. I shuffled to the familiar warmth the body was omitting, strong arms wrapped around me, and I felt safe. He was here.

I opened her eyes for a split second and whispered, 'Pan, tell me a story,' as I battled with staying awake, but my eyes fluttered close and I feel asleep.

As I woke up, the first thing I noticed was the torch had vanished, replaced by a candle slowly burning out. Also, someone had been sleeping next to me, from the lack of warmth I could tell the person left hours ago. The familiar huskiness of Pan was thick in the air, now thoughts of him kept flooding my mind. Which made me question if he really came to visit me when I slept.

I could feel my heart swell up and start glowing, but I quickly shook the thought out of my mind and the ice enveloped my heart. Why would he visit? He was the one who was using me, disposing me in a cave, keeping me safe from harm and other people, just because of the beating organ in my chest. Felix had made it very clear Pan had set his mind on other things than his true love.

Then I was sure: I had only dreamt of that occurence. The love-sick desperate girl from last night was finally dead, living in dream where she was with her significant other. I, on the other hand, was never going to look back.

If I had been able to create copies of my brother, the Lost Ones and Pan to talk to, how could I stop myself from doing so in a subconscious state?

Now I doubted if I was completely sane, but then again, I was on a magical island with a boy who never wanted to grow up and could fly.

I must have been losing my mind. I was going crazy. Thinking of Pan was too much for me.

So I decided to forget everything I associated with Pan.

I followed my order.

So...yeah...

*read ahead if you want a little author's note*

Since I can't help but keep analyzing my chapters, I was thinking about one chapter (after I have completed the story) where I discuss my initial thoughts, inspirations, intentions and themes I used for each chapter and just put in little easter eggs? Maybe a playlist of songs you can listen to? Shoutouts to other stories?

Yay or Nay? (sorry if this was all too complicated, you can PM me)

Reviews are always appreciated!

Love you all,

aureaborealis