I shower and dress quickly in jeans, t-shirt and converse. I'm sure everyone else will have dressed up but I'm so tired and really can't be bothered. Mom gave me thirty minutes but I'm downstairs in fifteen.

'Matt you need to go and get changed the guests will be here soon.' Mia says.

'I just got dressed.' I croak, my throat still hurts. We wander into the kitchen together.

'Everyone will be smartly dressed.'

'Elliot won't, he'll be the same as me and you won't tell him off.'

'But Matt don't you want to make a good impression, there will be lots of girls here tonight.'

'No, the only girl that matters to me won't be here.'

'Ooh first girlfriend and you're sooo in love' she teases. I put my head down and look awkwardly at the floor.

'Mia that's enough, leave your poor brother alone.' Mom says before coming over to me 'How are you feeling darling boy?'

'Fine'

'You don't sound it or look it; please can I check you over?'

'No mom, I'll be OK and people will be arriving any minute.'

'Promise me you'll let me know if you feel any worse. I'm worried about you.'

'I promise. I've just got a sore throat. What's all the fuss I've had one before.'

'But you're not usually this bad tempered with it.' Mom adds. She's right, I'm not normally this bad tempered but I'm trying to hide how bad I feel. The symptoms will pass and I don't want to spoil Christian and Ana's night.

The first of the guests are starting to arrive. Everyone has been told to arrive about seven and Christian and Ana thirty minutes later so that they can be surprised. Everyone is assembling in the living room. I grab a bottle of beer and sit in the corner out of the way, swigging straight from the bottle.

'How terribly civilised of you little bro, dad lays on the champagne and you're sat swigging beer straight from the bottle.' Elliot says grinning at me.

'Fuck off Elliot' I croak.

'Matt, don't let mom hear you swearing. What's got into you? You're in a foul mood.'

'Nothing. Mom has been fussing over me wanting to check me over.'

'And that's a bad thing?'

'Yes, I'm eighteen and she's still fussing.'

'She always will, especially if you're ill. So why not just let her check you out, all she ever does is listen to your heart and chest and then feels your back asking if anything hurts. What's so bad about that?' he says as he looks at me, I try and look away embarrassed but he holds my chin 'You're hiding something, have you got love bites?'

'Shhh, keep your voice down, she's probably listening or Mia will be and then will tell her. Yes I've got some love bites, ok, happy.'

'So you won't let mom check you out cos you're embarrassed.' He says, I nod. 'Jeez Matt, just how bad are you feeling?'

'Really bad, my throat hurts so much like it's never hurt before and I'm so tired. My head aches, my eyes hurt and I'm too hot. Don't tell her though; I don't want to spoil the party. When everyone has had a few drinks I'll just go back to bed. I won't be missed.'

'Ok, but don't drink anymore when you've finished that beer. That won't make you feel any better.'

'I know, but it will numb the pain. Where's Kate?'

'She was waiting to see Ana about something, they should have arrived by now.'

The room is full of people, dad has just come in to say that Christian and Ana have arrived and he is shortly followed by first Kate who makes her way over to Elliot and then mom who goes to dad. She quickly looks at me though and I can see the concern on her face, I smile at her to try and reassure her.

Christian and Ana enter the room and everyone starts clapping and cheering. Ana looks slightly shocked to see so many people as she quickly scans the room. I find myself stood next to Mrs Lincoln, as Ana sees her, her face falls, she obviously doesn't like her for some reason. Gretchen appears with a tray of champagne, she flutters her eyelashes at Christian and he gives her a brief smile. Everyone surges forward to make a fuss again, though I hold back.

Mrs Lincoln leads the way, commandeering Christian and asking why he hadn't called. Ana narrows her eyes and mom is frowning at the three of them. Christian says he wants to make an announcement so everyone steps back. Mrs Lincoln is next to me again. She looks like a black widow spider with some poisonous venom. She turns and gives me a strange look. 'Did you say something?' she hisses at me. I shake my head, shit, maybe I did voice my thoughts.

Christian starts his speech, telling everyone how he was expecting a quiet family dinner. Well so was I. I never wanted to be at a party. Bloody Mia and her meddling. When Christian finally announces that he and Ana are getting married everyone applauds and cheers. Well apart from Lily who looks heartbroken, Gretchen who looks likes she swallowed something horrible and Mrs Lincoln who looks so shocked. I can't help smiling.

Mom leads the way to congratulate them both and she gives Ana a hug welcoming her to the family. Mia is making a fuss and is demanding to see the ring before hugging Christian and telling him how thrilled she is. Elliot hugs Christian and I go to Ana.

I hug her and kiss her shyly on the cheek. 'Congratulations Ana, I'm so happy for you both.'

'Thank you Matt, and thank you for last night. I don't think I could have coped without you.'

'It was no problem. Anytime you need me you only have to call. I know how overbearing and overprotective the control freak that is my brother can be.'

'Matt.' She says almost shocked.

'Only joking, but I will be there if you need me.' I say and give her another hug and kiss.

'Hey little bro, that's enough touching my future wife.' Christian jokes.

'Congratulations again' I croak and give him a hug.

'Jeez Matt, you sound dreadful. Did mom check you out?' Christian demands.

Elliot answers for me. 'No she didn't because he stropped and wouldn't let her because he's covered in love bites.'

'Elliot, keep your voice down. The whole room will know.' I hiss at him.

'Matt, is that true?' Christian asks. I nod. 'Are you very ill?' again I nod and he sucks in his breath.

'Please don't be angry, not tonight and not because of me. I'll let mom check me out when everyone's eating.'

'Ok, but I'll check.' He says before giving me another brief hug.

'I'm going to get some air; it's too hot in here.' I say and I make my way out to the back yard grabbing another bottle of beer on the way through the kitchen. There's a cool breeze blowing off the bay and I feel better instantly. I'm about to sit on the table that's on the deck when I sense that I am not alone.

'So you think I'm a black widow spider' Mrs Lincoln says as she appears out of the darkness. Shit I did voice my thoughts and she heard. 'Well, have you got anything to say for yourself.' I stare at her not sure what she expects me to say. Then she slaps me hard across the face. I hold my cheek, it stings.

'Fuck, what did you do that for?' I ask rather rudely. I don't care that she's supposed to be mom's friend.

'You needed teaching a lesson.' She replies and then slaps the other cheek. Shit, what have I done to deserve this? 'You think you're so smart baby Grey, always overprotected by everyone but let me tell you they almost gave you away. Didn't think they could bear having you as a constant reminder in the house.' My hearts sinks, and she makes a move towards me, her lips are on mine, she's trying to force me to kiss her pushing her tongue into my mouth but I push her away. 'You're not like your brother; he loved it when I was near him.'

The look I give her must be pure hatred, she turns and heads back into the house and I run down towards the jetty. I sit, staring into the blackness, hugging my knees with a thousand thoughts swirling round my head. I must sit here for hours. Eventually when I feel the cold I head back up towards the house. All the guests have left. Dad, Elliot and Ethan are in the kitchen talking baseball whilst drinking and eating. Christian passes through holding Ana's hand; they look slightly drunk as they head out into the back yard. I'm not aware of anyone noticing me or talking to me. Passing through the hallway I hear mom, Mia and Kate singing karaoke into the games console. They all sound very drunk. I go to the living room; I haven't got the energy to climb the stairs. I lie on my front on the sofa, and quietly cry myself to sleep.

When I wake it's still dark, someone has covered me in a duvet. I try and lift my head but it aches. Out of the corner of my eye I see Christian sitting watching me, a glass of hard liquor in his hand.

'You never saw mom to get checked out.' he hisses and I can tell he's angry. I close my eyes trying to block him out. I don't want to talk or see anyone. 'I'm not going anywhere so you might as well open your eyes again.' I open one and look at him. 'Where did you go earlier, we looked for you but couldn't find you?'

'Jetty' my voice is barely a whisper. I sit up and wrap the duvet round me.

'Why didn't you see mom like I asked?'

'By the time I came inside everyone was drunk.'

'You've been crying, what's upset you?' he asks. I freeze and look at him warily.

'Nothing' I reply sullenly.

'For fucks sake Matt tell me, you know that eventually I'll get it out of you anyway so you might as well tell me straight away.' He roars.

'Please don't be cross with me.' I plead.

'Tell me then.'

'No, I can't, it's really bad.'

'If it's that bad I'm surprised you're talking.' He says, his eyes narrowing. I gulp, he's right. Normally after something like this I would have gone into my silent world. I look at him through wide eyes. He continues 'It's too late now to have no words, you've already spoken to me.'

'Did you have an affair with Mrs Lincoln?' I whisper. He pales and looks shocked.

'Who told you?'

'She did, well she said something to me and I wasn't sure whether if it was about you or Elliot.'

'Fuck. What did she say?' he asks, he's calmer now, trying to get answers out of me. I shake my head not sure if I can tell him. There are tears running down my cheeks. 'Matt, did she do anything to you?' he asks gently. I look at him and nod. 'Please, you have to tell me. I can only help you if you tell me.'

'You will be angry'

'No, not with you. Please Matt'

'When I went outside to get some air earlier she appeared. She slapped me on the cheek really hard. It hurt. She then slapped the other cheek. She tried to kiss me but I pushed her away and that was when she said that I wasn't like my brother because he loved it when she was near him.'

'Anything else?' he whispers. How does he know?

'She called me the baby Grey that was so over protected and that mom and dad almost gave me away because they didn't want me here as a constant reminder.' I manage to get the words out and then break down sobbing my heart out. I hurt so much and it's not from being ill.