What had I done? Everything going felt so surreal. My body was was cold and clammy and my chest still ached from his blood joining with mine.

"Sam, is everything okay? Where's Steve?" Jen grabbed my arm suddenly and I screamed a little, finally jolted from my thoughts

"Dude, what the hell?" Alan flinched.

I tried to get my breathing under control. "Steve is...He's.." I took a shuddering breath. "He was so drunk he passed out upstairs."

Tommy let out a bark of laughter and slung an arm around Jen, "Wild."

Alan sighed in relief, "What an idiot."

I let out a shaky laugh, my body felt chilled to the bone. "Yeah man."

I noticed my parents waving me over to the table. A large three tier cake sat behind them. My mom mouthed 'it's time'.

Time, I thought, seems to be slipping away from me quiet easily today.

The evening passed without incident. As I opened my presents I tried my best to keep a clear head. But nothing seemed to make sense.

Damn you, Steve. I thought vehemently. And damn me too.

I felt so strange.

The rest of my birthday party was spent in a panic. My heart permanently lodged in my throat and my head swam in disbelief. Around midnight everyone clamored into the car and headed home. I stayed close to my sister, practically clinging to her like I was the child.

What have I done?

Steve eventually woke up feeling stiff as a corpse and cursing my name the whole time. It seemed he didn't remember much of what happened and assumed I got so mad at him that I knocked him out. How could I correct him when I was denial of the choice I had made?

What have I done?

The days following the incident I could hardly tear myself from my bed. My mom thought maybe I'd sneaked some alcohol and was hung over and decided to let it slide this time.

It wasn't until early Tuesday morning that my father ripped the covers off the bed and demanded that I get dressed. It wasn't until an hour later that I remembered why.

"Everybody on the line!" Coach Davidson yelled and blew his whistle. The portly, red faced lacrosse coach gripped his clipboard like a weapon and fixed us all with a hard look.

A dozen girls, myself included, all grabbed our sticks and made it to the edge of the field.

"Ten ladders. I wanna see some sweat ladies, push yourselves!"

The whistle blew again and I felt myself nearly fly as I took off. I was always fast but this was incredible. My coach usually sneered at me during runs this time he seemed impressed.

We moved onto scrimmaging and I was blowing past girls and practically ripping holes in the nets. The adrenaline was making me delirious. I grew careless.

I ran into one of the defenseman full speed and pummeled her to the ground, she went tumbling.

"Christ Shan! Take it easy!" Coach barked.

"Hey man, what the hell!" She cried out. Waving her torn up arm in the air.

"Jesus, someone grab the medkit." Coach said.

"Water break!" Our team captain yelled.

All of the conversations died into the distance. All I could focus on was the trail of blood trickling down her forearm.

My lids grew heavy and she she gave me a confused look with her brown eyes. Her blonde hair was ruffled up from the fall. I could smell the stink of sweat on her skin as I drew closer.

I ran my finger up her arm, catching the Crimson liquid. Without thought I brought it to my mouth, savoring the tangy taste.

Her horrified face swam in my vision. The next thing I knew, I had passed out.

My eyes felt swollen shut. I struggled to pry them open grateful for the lack of light. Someone had laid me on the couch in the living room.

"How you feeling sweetie?" I heard my mom say as she sat on the coffee table. She pressed her soft hand against my forehead. I should have felt comfort from her touch but instead I only felt dread.

"I'm….I'm okay mom." I lied. Inside I was a mess. I felt so strange, almost uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt ravenous yet nauseous at the same time. I once again found myself with a sinking feeling of despair.

"I think the heat got to your head earlier. Not to mention they were working you girls like slaves in the sun!" My mom sounded miffed.

"Yeah…."

"You father says you don't have to go back this week, and your coach told him that if you keep up the good work he knows Division I teams that will trip over themselves to have you. Isn't that exciting?"

Was I the only one that had remembered that I drank a girl's blood? Normally I would be beside myself to know that I could play competitively. But unknown to my parents I wouldn't never go on to collegiate sports. Or college in general. I'd be lucky if I could get through senior year without killing someone.

"Well," My mom sighed. "Dinner isn't going to make itself. Call if you need me"

After dragging myself up stairs and taking the longest shower of my life I found myself throwing on my favorite pair of pajamas and crawling once again into my bed. The scent of my freshly washed sheets brought tears to my eyes.

How long could I pretend? How long before I do something drastic?

I don't want to leave my family and friends. To think that there would come a day that I'd no longer feel my mom's soft touches, or hear my dad's laugh, or tease my little sister…. brought blinding pain to my heart.

In the end I knew what I had to do, and surprisingly I felt myself accept my new fate. There was no going back. I just didn't want anyone to suffer for my choices.

"You can not stay."

I bolted up in my bed, and the canopy ruffled with the air from the open window. A figure sat in the darkness at my vanity table. With a snap of his fingers the small lamp turned on casting menacing shadows on his face.

I scrambled out of bed and made a dash to the door, but he was much quicker than I. He pulled me against his chest.

"Do not scream. Do you really want your parents to find you in such a position?"

"What are you doing here?" I trembled. I couldn't tell if I was afraid or relieved that he had come to me.

Crepsley gave me a sarcastic look and forced me to sit on the bed. "I hope you did not think I would simply leave you to your own devices after blooding you."

"A girl can hope."

He looked amused, "Will you come willingly?"

"You didn't strike me as the type to force a girl," I challenged. "I suppose….I'm running out of time, aren't I?"

The orange haired vampire patted my head. I couldn't understand why, but my fears had slowly abated. When I considered it, I realized that he had not done anything that I had not consented to. It was my choice to be blooded after all. Steve's condition was no fault but his own, and I had done the best that I could with the situation I was presented.

"You are a loyal girl, to your family and your friends. You will serve me well, and make a fine vampire." He admitted. "However, staying here puts the ones you love at risk. If there was another way you must believe that I would have given you another choice."

I scowled and rubbed my eyes, " As much as I want to despise you, , I can see your point. What can we do?"

The vampire strolled around my room picking up some keepsakes and inspecting them. He seemed particularly interested in my collection of unicorn figurines.

"How comfortable are you with death?"

I scoffed and stood up, "Not very."

"Well, I am to open to other suggestions. Although I strongly oppose leaving loose ends."

I shrugged, "If I was a child it would be different. I'm of age now and able to leave if I want, without my parents consent."

"I see, I must admit when you have lived as long as I have everyone seems a child in comparison." He stated and seemed to consider my idea in full. His silence was approval enough but he added, "If this is the path you choose then so be it. I will not force you to make your family suffer if there is another way. However, I urge you to consider the complications. We cannot always be on the run from the law if they choose to pursue you."

"I've made my choice. I just need one more day." He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I will come for you at dusk.

I watched the brilliant ember hues of the sunrise spread across my room for the last time. I found myself in a state of wonderment. I savoured the warmth and softness of my bedsheets trying to commit every inch of this tiny space into my memory. I knew full well that this was the end of life as I knew it.

Across the house I could hear the little sighs and breaths of my parents quietly sleeping and my sister turning in her bed.

I'd never once been without them. We had fights and arguments like any normal family, but it's funny how all of that loses it's importance.

The first thing I did was pack my bag. I pulled two polaroid pictures off my wall and carefully place them inside my journal. One of my family at Christmas time, the other of my friends and I on the first day of highschool.

Next were my clothes. One pair of shorts, jeans, a hoodie, as many pairs of undergarments I could stuff into the bottom. My favorite book, a fantasy novel set in a foreign world.

I shoved my backpack under the bed and began my letter good bye. I easily had thrown out 20 copies by the time my parents began to stir awake.

I found myself creeping outside their doorway and only knocked when I was confident they were awake.

"Hey Sweet Pea, what are you doing up so early. Feeling okay?" My dad was putting on his robe and slippers and began picking out his work clothes.

Instead of answering I crawled into bed with my mother who folded me up into her arms.

"Nothing... Nothing at all."

I visited my favorite places, dragging all my friends minus Steve around town. I'd avoided him since the party and he made no effort to contact me. I was grateful. I don't think I would have been able to handle him.

Tom and Alan left my house around 6, but Jen lingered in the doorway.

"Hey…" She shifted uncomfortable, gripping the doorway. "Is everything okay? You've been acting majorly weird since your birthday?"

I swallowed hard and tried to give her a convincing smile. "I'm totally fine."

Jen looked downcast, "You know, of all people, I will always be here for you right?"

Tears pricked the back of my eyes as I pulled her into a hug, "Of course I know that, silly."

I felt like throwing up, passing out, or both. The summer sun finally waved goodbye behind the horizon.

I stared at the note lying on my pillow. Somehow the letter never seemed to be enough words to capture how I felt.

Mom, Dad, Annie,

I love you, I will always love you. But I have to leave. I'm a big girl now, I'll be alright. Please don't look for me. I will contact you when I'm settled. Please know, I'm only doing this to protect you.

Love,

Sam.

"Are you ready?"

I took a shaky breath and walked toward the window.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The vampire instructed me to climb on his back. We were going to flit, which he explained as the ability to run faster than the human eye can detect.

Apparently vampires can do all kinds of cool things. We can breath knockout gas, flit, our nails are razor sharp. The list continued, and would continue the more I learned.

After a trip that should have taken 4 days, that was reduced to 10 minutes, we came to rest in a small clearing in a thicket of woods.

I began to set up a blanket on the ground, thankful for the warm clothes I packed with me. The night was dark, and Mr. Crepsley expertly began a fire.

I laid down on the blanket and stared up at the infinite expanse of a star-speckled sky. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, my stomach clenched painfully with hunger and sadness.

"I can't believe this is happening. I should be worrying about college applications and a date to homecoming… Not this." I was speaking to myself, but undoubtedly the vampire heard me.

The tall man ambled over and hesitantly sat next to me. His face took in the sight of my tears and his usually scowled turned to a look of misery.

"I must apologize. It was...It is my fault for pressuring you into this." I sat up in shock. "Vampirism is irreversible. Once it takes its hold on you there is no escaping your fate."

"Listen," I quickly wiped my face embarrassed by my weak control over my emotions. "It was my choice. I have no one to blame but myself." I took a shuddering breath. "Whatever this life is it's mine, and I'm going to make the best of it." I bowed my head.

Crepsley's face lightened up considerable after that. We settled in and began making a lite meal. For being a vampire he was suprising meticulous and practical about preparing food. He believed everyone should know how to cook.

Traveling wasn't so bad, at first. I had never been able to camp in my my old life. My mother was afraid of dirt and germs and insisted that if my sister and I were so intent at roughing it we could pitch a tent in the backyard and call it a night. So I was excited to finally get to see some more of the country.

I often thought about my family. Whether or not they looked for me or respected my wishes. I mostly just hoped that they continued their normal lives.

Summer came and passed without much fanfare. I refused to drink anything other than animal blood, but Mr. Crepsley fed from little bottles of stored blood to keep up strength.

Mr. Crepsley began my basic training. I was no stranger to hard work as an athlete, but every day he pushed me to my limits.

"Get up!" He barked. Crepsley stood in front of me, the pale moonlight causing his orange haired to glow. His determined face shone with sweat.

I laid on the ground where I had fallen over, my arms throbbing with the impact of blocked blows. He never held back.

"I need-" I wheezed. "I need a sec."

He grabbed me by my shirt front, accidentally groping me in the process. I blushed scarlet but didn't dare say anything.

"There are no moments of rest in battle stopping may very well cost your life." He chided and shoved me to my feet. "Let us go again."

We continued to grapple. My defensive was way better than my offensive and my mentor certainly showed no mercy.

At night often times we would take turns cooking, I would bath in a nearby stream and dry off by the fire, and then we'd tuck in for the night. At first we slept as far away as possible but as the nights grew colder more often than not we would sleep next to each other in my dad's old sleeping bag with Mr. Crepsley's cape as an extra blanket.

It was one day, after a particularly grueling day of work that I was informed that I'd finally achieved considerable progress in strength. I was faster than ever, stronger than a professional bodybuilder, and not a shabby fighter either.

As I sat bathing in a near by stream I contemplated how far I had come. I scrubbed the sweat away with a thick bar of soap and I noticed a strange feeling overcome me. Was this pride? My body was stronger than ever, yet still held the same womanly shape I knew and loved. I had long ago favored clothes that were more practical than pretty, but I felt no harm in admiring myself every once in awhile.

I was maybe a little too thin for my liking. I hadn't been feeding properly. I didn't like it but it was a small price to pay for keeping that one shred of something that kept me feeling human.

Nice isn't it? That voice. The one from so long ago. The one responsible for me getting that God forsaken ticket in the first place. I shuddered at the sound; the voice was cruel and slimy.

Such a pretty thing aren't you? You make your father quite proud.

"Who are you?" I scanned the trees, there was nothing except foliage.

It time for you to begin your….

Destiny.

That's when the pain hit. And God, was it more awful than anything I had faced these past three months.

My whole body ached with the force of the shooting pain in my lower abdomen. I doubled over in the shallow water, clutching at my stomach. A slimy feeling started creeping down my legs. I ran a hand across my inner thigh and brought it to my face.

It was covered in blood. My inner legs were drenched in blood. And I did the only logical thing I could think of.

I screamed.

I vaguely remembered my name being shouted from a distance before I felt myself fall over in shock. Hands were on my shoulders, shaking me violently.

"Samantha!"

My body was still racked with waves of pain. I tearfully looked up to the face of my mentor, his scarred brow was furrowed in concern.

"There was a voice...In my head...And then…." I blushed violently and threw my arms to cover myself.

"You are not injured?" He demanded again, looking me over to inspect for any wounds. I blushed brighter.

"Crepsley…" I whined

Now it was his turn to be scarlet faced.

"I know this is highly inappropriate of me. But given the circumstances I plead carte blanche."

"Please just grab my bag from over there and turn away." I whimpered.

I was thanking God I had packed some specific...toiletries when I left home. After cleaning myself up and dressing I told Crepsley he could turn around again.

"What happened?" He demanded again.

I awkwardly laughed, trying to keep calm after all...that. "I had some unexpected...womanly troubles."

Crepsley scoffed as we headed back up to camp, I was slower than usual. "That's impossible… female vampire they do not… they can not.." He flushed again and with an irritated swish of his cape continued on ahead.

"Well, this one can…" I mumbled to myself

The orange haired vampire scratched his face pensively and gave me a once over. I flushed scarlet; this was absolutely mortifying.

"We will head to the Cirque, I must ask Mr. Tall about this...It is very unusual and unheard of for...this to occur." He made an uncomfortable noise and looked away. He couldn't meet my eye and seemed intent on packing things up as quickly as possible.

"What do you mean unheard of?" I must admit I thought it was strange that I hadn't had my period for a couple of months but I had chalked it up to stress. Now I was beginning to panic. Sensing my distress, Crepsley offering me one of his rare and comforting smiles.

"Do not fret. We will figure this out."

Crepsley knelt on the ground and placed his hands together almost in prayer. He closed his eyes and his rugged brow furrowed in concentration.

"What are you doing?" I asked after a minute. He remained silent as he got up.

"I was honing in on Mr. Tall location."

I stared at him in awe, "Is that like a vulcan mind meld or something?"

Crepsley raised one eyebrow, "I have not the slightest clue what you are talking about. I was simply locating his aura."

"Cool!" I exclaimed. "Can I do that?"

"Not until you reach full vampirism." I climbed onto his back and we began our travel back to the cirque.

Glimmering lights. Cascading tents. A haven for misfits set up in the middle of a forest. A parody of a village for those with nowhere else to go. We passed by a caravan of hippies down the road. Apparently they were setting up protest over a construction sight. To me it looked as if they were just toking up around a fire.

"Welcome to the Cirque." I hopped off Crepsley's back. He dusted off his red jacket and motioned forward.

All kinds of people milled about tending to their nightly routines. In a large cage, the fabled Wolfman lay sleeping. Acrobat twins were stretching on the grass. Others were cooking around a fire. My stomach growled at the thought of real food after months of animal blood and wild game stews.

We came to a stop outside one of several trailers. The front door was illuminated by a string of fairy lights. Crepsley raised his hand to knock but the door opened before he could make contact. A looming figure peeked his head out.

The giant spoke in a surprisingly soft tone, "I've been expecting you." His dark eyes seemed like two dark holes in his head.

"May we come in?" Mr. Crepsley asked.

"Of course. What is it one is supposed to say to you vampires?" He smiled. "Enter of your own free will?"

Entering Mr. Tall's home was like entering a exotic flea market. The whole van was tastefully decorated with tapestries and trinkets. I felt like I had truly entered the lair of the bizarre.

"Please, Miss Shan, take a seat. You must be exhausted from your travels." Mr. tall offered a seat on a wooden chair and I eagerly took it.

"Thank you, sir." I added politely, clutching my backpack as I stared around in wonder.

"I didn't expect you back so soon, Larten," Mr. Tall said. Even when he was sitting down he looked enormous.

"A swift return had not been on the agenda, Hibernius." Hibernius? That was a weird name. Still, it fit him somehow. Hibernius Tall. It had a strange ring to it.

"Trouble on your journey?" Mr. tall inquired.

"It is the girl...there have been some unsettling developments as of late. I admit I am at loss."

A brocade box sat on an end table, I couldn't resist stealing a peek inside, but was deterred by a quick rap on the hand by Mr. Tall.

"Some boxes are best left closed, Miss Shan." His eyes spoke for him: hands off. I couldn't resist pouting a bit as I turned my attention back to the two men.

Mr. Tall asked me to stand and I tried not to feel skeeved out as he thoroughly looked me over.

"This reeks of DesTiny's work, he is the only one with the capability to altered one's being so."

"Ok," I interjected. "What does destiny have to do with this? It's that like fate and stuff, how does that have anything to do with me?"

Crepsley groaned and rubbed his head, a sure sign of disbelief.

"Not destiny. DesTiny. Mr. Tiny is an insufferable man with a taste for meddling in other people's lives that is only rivaled by his desire to see the world burn at hi-"

"Larten!" Mr. Tall interrupted, fixing him with a pointed look.

"Listen, I'm sure the two of you are well versed in all of this mystic mumbo jumbo-" Mr. Crepsley cringed. "And I hate to point this out but I'm sure neither or you are exceedingly knowledgeable about women troubles. This is all perfectly normal for a girl my age." I shrugged.

"Yes, maybe for a young girl. But for a vampire this is highly unusual. We must consider this carefully. In the meantime can we stay here, Hibernius?"

"Of course," Mr. Tall replied immediately. "Delighted to have you back, actually. We're a bit under-staffed at the moment. Alexander Ribs, Sive and Seersa, and Gertha Teeth are off on vacations or business. Cormac Limbs is on his way to join us but is late getting here. Larten Crepsley and his amazing performing spider will be an invaluable addition to the lineup."

"We passed a camp on our way," Mr. Crepsley said. "Are they causing any problems?"

"The foot soldiers of NOP?" Mr. Tall laughed. "They're too busy defending trees and rocks to interfere with us."

"Nature's Opposing Protectors?" I asked.

Mr. Tall nodded. "They're eco warriors. They run around the country trying to stop new roads and bridges from being built. They've been here a couple of months but are due to move on soon."

seemed relieved, as was I

"Thank you for taking us back, Hibernius."

"My pleasure," Mr. Tall replied.

"I trust you took good care of my coffin?"

"Of course." Mr. tall nodded.

Mr. Crepsley smiled happily and rubbed his hands together. "That is what I miss most when I am away. It will be nice to sleep in it once more."

"What of the girl?" Mr. tall asked."Do you want us to knock together a coffin for her?"

"Don't even think about it!" I shouted, my skin crawled just with the idea. "I make be vampire but that doesn't mean I want to sleep like one!"

Mr. Crepsley smiled. "Put Samantha in with one of the other performers," he said. "Somebody her own age, if possible."

Mr. Tall thought a moment. "How about Evra?" Mr. Crepsley's smile spread.

"Yes. I think putting her in with Evra is a marvelous idea."

"Who's Evra?" I asked nervously. I'd never had to share a room before. All of the horrifying possibilities of who I could be with coursed through my mind. What if they wouldn't accept me?

"You will find out," Mr. Crepsley promised, opening the door to the van. "I will leave you to Mr. Tall. She will take care of you. I have to be away." And then he was gone, off to find his beloved coffin. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Mr. Tall standing directly behind me. I don't know how he crossed the room so quickly. I didn't even hear him moving to stand up.

"Shall we go?" he said. I gulped and nodded. He led the way through the campsite. The morning was breaking and I saw a couple of lights coming on in a few of the vans and tents. Mr. Tall led me to an old gray tent, big enough for five or six people.

"Here are some blankets," he said, handing over a bunch of woolly sheets. "And a pillow." I didn't know where he got them from — he didn't have them when we left the van — but was too tired to ask.

"You may sleep as late as you wish. I will come for you when you are awake and explain your duties. Evra will take care of you until then." I lifted the flap of the tent and looked inside. It was too dark to see anything.

"Who's Evra?" I asked, turning back to Mr. Tall. But he was gone, having disappeared with his usual quick, silent speed. I sighed and entered, clutching the blankets to my chest. I let the flap fall back into place, then stood quietly inside, waiting for my eyes to adjust. I could hear someone breathing softly and could make out a vague shape in a hammock in the darkness beyond the middle of the tent. I looked for somewhere to make my bed. I didn't want my tentmate tripping over me when they were getting up. I walked forward a few blind steps. Suddenly something slithered toward me through the darkness. I stopped and stared ahead, wishing so badly that I could see (without the light of the stars or moon, even a vampire struggles to make things out).

"Hello?" I whispered. "Are you Evra? I'm Samantha Shan. I'm your new —" I stopped. The slithering noise had reached my feet. As I stood rooted to the spot, something fleshy and slimy wrapped itself around my legs. I instantly knew what it was but didn't dare look down until it had climbed more than halfway up my body. Finally, as its coils curled around my chest, I worked up the courage to look down and stare into the eyes of a long, thick, hissing snake!