Please listen to He Is We's "Kiss It All Better"
I had a pretty shitty day/week at work, so I'm going to rough up our happy little couple a bit.
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Assuming Jack
Mom was at work, so Kim and I had decided to spend the day with the little guys, doing what they want to do for a change. We've played games, we watched a movie that made me want to throw up because there was just so god damn much pink and princesses.
We had a pillow fight that got pretty intense between Kim and I. Anne got a little worried when it turned into sparring with pillows. We had lunch and spent some time in the pool. Kim tried to hide how shy she was around me in the pool, considering what we did last night.
It's nearing dinner time, and I'm on my way to pick up the pizzas we ordered for carry out. Kim is with Anne, watching the three younger ones while my mom makes her way back from work.
The pizza place I picked is only a block away, which just makes things easier. I'm only a block away when I hear the voice of someone I don't feel like dealing with.
"Back in town, Jack? Brought your bitch back to, I see. Or are you her bitch?" Frank tries tries to get a rise out of me. It almost works. "Don't ignore me, Brewer!" Frank shouts when I keep walking.
I turn around and see not only Frank, but nine Black Dragons. Oh what the fuck! On New Year's Eve! I can't take on nine men at once. I'm good, but not one on nine good.
I turn on my heels and make a run for it. Without looking back, I know they're right behind me, the crunch of the snow being a give away. It's icy making it hard to run, the biting wind making it hard to see. I turn off the main road and down a side street, but they're right on top of me.
I turn down one more street and Ryan's right in front of me in his dad's F-150 pickup. What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I just wanted to get dinner for Kim and my family!
The roads are closed off, so my only hope is an alley behind the little Italian place I took Kim. I bound down the alley but I slip and go shoulder first into the dumpster.
Before I can get back up, two pairs of hands grab me. I shake off one, but I'm pushed into the dumpster again, the opposite shoulder hitting. I try to get, my shoulders screaming with the effort. A boot into my back sends me down face first into the snow.
I want to get up, I need to fight back, but there's just too many blows to be from one man. My entire back is in throbbing agony as stomp after stomp drives into my muscle and spine. It's not long before they start changing up on area, digging into my ribs and sides, my knees and legs to make me completely defenseless. I can't move, and I'm pretty sure that last stomp on my hand broke at least two fingers.
As much as I want to, I won't scream out in pain and burning agony. I won't give them that satisfaction. They're going to have to settle for breaking my body instead.
"Get him up!" Frank yells, two of the Dragons lifting me under my arms and pressing me up against the dumpster. I have to bite my tongue to stop from crying out at the movement, along with my legs being unable to keep me up on my own. Frank unloads on my torso with a series of punches and chops, daring me not to call out for mercy, but he's going to lose that, at least.
He takes a step back and I think he's done, but he drives a front kick between my legs, my knees buckling anymore if possible and my eyes roll back in my head.
"You won't cry uncle, will you, Jack?" Frank shakes his head with a smirk, I can see under my heavy eyelids, the beating making me want to fade.
"Fuck you." The words come out as no more than a hoarse whisper.
"I admire your spirit, Jack. To show my respect, I won't cave in your pretty face so Kim can identify your body." Frank rushes forward and slams my head back against the dumpster, causing darkness.
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Assuming Kim
"Shouldn't Jack have been back a while ago?" Anne asks me, looking up from her phone.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" I ask, noticing the time. He hasn't messaged me and he's been gone for two hours. I call him and he doesn't answer. "Anne, here's some money. Order pizza and have them deliver it so the kids don't starve. I'm going to go find Jack."
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I've been scouring the entire Northborough city limits, literally every street. Still no sign of my Beast.
I pull into the police station and find a guy at a reception desk. "Wait, I know you. You're a... Kim Crawford. You're dating Jack Brewer." The officer smiles. "My daughter loves you."
"I am Jack's girlfriend, yes. I'm trying to find him." I say in a rush.
"Calm down Ms. Crawford. When was the last time you saw him?" He asks coolly.
"Two and a half hours ago. He went to pick up some pizzas. We were going to have dinner with his mom and siblings." I inform him. "He should be back by now, right?"
"I'll call every officer who's patrolled in the last three hours. We usually don't search until a much later period, but conditions are pretty bad, and you should have your boyfriend on New Year's."
I think him profusely and pace around nervously until he's finished all of his calls, not being that many. Small town force.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Crawford. No one's seen him. We're all on alert for him now." The officer assures me.
I sigh deeply and take a seat on a not so comfortable chair. Where is he? Why hasn't he called? Where are you Jack?
I drop my head in my hands, feeling useless and defeated. I just want him to be okay. What if something happened and he had a panic attack? What if he's fetal in the snow somewhere? Damn it, Crawford! Don't do this to yourself! My head jumps when the phone rings.
"This is Sergeant Coleson, what's your emergency?" A pause. "On my way now." Coleson hangs up, bursts out of his chair and grabs his coat. "They found him, let's go!" He shouts and pulls me up.
"Where is he?!" I call after him, right on his heels. Coleson doesn't answer as we hop in his cruiser.
There's dead silence and the entire ride I can only hear my own shuddered breathing. It only takes minutes, but it feels like hours when Coleson stops at the entrance of an alley. My heart stops. This is never good.
"Stay here until I come back." Coleson orders and I can only nod. He leaves and joins two other officers, and together go to the... no. No no no no no! Why are they going to the fucking dumpster!
Coleson lifts the lid and peaks in. He slowly lowers it again and takes his hat off, rubbing his hands through his hair. He points to me and mouths something, one of his men coming towards me.
"JACK!" His name rips through my throat as I break out of the car and run down the alley until I'm caught by an officer. He holds on tightly to me while Coleson and his other man reopen the lid.
"Call an ambulance." Coleson mumbles, hoping I won't hear. But I did. I can feel tears burn the back of my eyes and quickly stream down my cheeks before they freeze. "JACK!" I shout again, praying he'll call my name back, praying he'll tell me he's fine. "Let me see him!" I try to fight out of the cop's grasp, but he's bigger than me.
The ambulance arrives after ages and they pull out a gurney. The dumpster has been silent, not a groan, mumble, or rustle. My heart has never been more stretched because I can feel it in my chest, stomach and throat. I can barely breath as I watch the police and paramedics carefully lift a body out of the dumpster. It can't be. It can't be Jack.
I see his face and my bones turn to jelly. He's unconscious but his face still looks contorted in pain, but not bruised or damaged in any way. He's not moving, and I can't even tell if he's breathing. If he's... if he's... "I swear to Christ I'm going to kill whoever did this."
"We'll find them, we'll find them." The cop holding me says. I didn't even know I'd said that aloud.
Jack is on the stretcher, still showing no sign of telling me he's okay. My heart is breaking as they bring the gurney to the ambulance, the snow falling over him. How could anybody do this? How many people did it take to lay waste to Jack like this? He's a hell of a fighter.
"I need to go with him, please!" I beg, not caring how desperate I sound and look with my whole body quivering and icicle tears on my face. "Let me ride with him." I try to keep my voice under control, but seeing Jack unmoving and blue with the cold. How long had he been left for dead in that dumpster? Who could do that to him?
"Go ahead." Coleson nods and I run after the gurney. They have Jack's arms strapped so he isn't jostled too much. I reach for his hand and gently take it in mine. I brush a finger over his knuckles, and I gasp at how frigid he is. It doesn't take a doctor to tell his fingers are swollen and discolored. Fresh tears come down as I begin to wonder what part of my poor Beast isn't battered and broken? To what extent have they tortured him.
I climb into the ambulance with him, and I try with all my might to control myself. I look at Jack's blue tinged face, his hair swept over his eyes and I can't do it. I press my lips to his hand and I shudder at the thought of losing him, at the thought of him not waking up as the paramedics find blood frozen to his hair on the back of his head. They say he has a pulse, but it's weak.
"Come on Jack, keep fighting. I'm here now, I'm here." I say softly, rubbing his head but avoiding where the paramedics had just wrapped. "The kids need you. Your mom needs you. I need you."
We're at the hospital and I have to let Jack go long enough for them to get him inside. "We need to take him for a bit to see just what they did to him, to see what tests we need to do or if he needs any kind of surgery." The ER doctor, Dr. Ambrose tells me. "I will personally bring you to him as soon as I can, Kim." With that, I'm left in a little waiting room, my head spinning and my chest feeling hollow. Just last night Jack had made me feel so alive. Now I'm afraid of how lifeless Jack is.
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Too much time has passed since I was left here to my maddening thoughts and waning sobs. I had texted Anne through teary eyes, and she had not responded. Her big brother beaten half to do death or closer. That can't be easy to swallow. Jack is a hero and protector to me too. It's hard to believe Jack isn't completely bulletproof.
"Kim, we have him in a room now." Dr. Ambrose tells me, breaking my thoughts. She offers me a hand and I take it as I stand up. "Brace yourself, Kim," she warns me and pats my hand.
She knocks and opens the door, but there's no answer. I step in and a cry dies in my throat, coming out as more of a squeak. He's pale where he's not black and blue, which doesn't leave much room. I can see swollen knuckles from here and his breathing is so shallow.
"What have they done to him?" My question is little more than a whisper. Tears prick at my eyes again as the strongest guy I know is so helpless. How much pain had Jack been in before he couldn't take anymore and blacked out? What had happened to him before he was tossed into a dumpster like garbage? What could possess someone to think my Jack had done anything to even come close to deserving this?
"He might as well have been hit by a car, Kim. Cracked and broken ribs, broken hands and internal bleeding. The head bash he took is worrying me. He may have memory loss. I've never seen anyone so bruised." A single tear rolls down her cheek as she bites her knuckle. She's known Jack since he was a boy. "His body is so weakened and brittle, it was a chore to get him undressed and into that gown."
"Can I... can I hold his hand?" My voice is shaking and I can't do anything about it.
"Yeah." Dr. Ambrose holds back a quiet sob. "I'll make sure they know to let you stay past visiting."
"Thank you so much." I hug the older lady and she hugs me back. "This just doesn't feel real, you know?"
"I know, and I'm so sorry for you two. We'll do the best we can to get him back on his feet and comfortable." Dr. Ambrose smiles sympathetically and takes her leave.
"Hi Beast," I say softly while trying to force a smile like Jack can see me. "I'm right here, Jack. Nothing can make me leave your side, you hear me?" I gingerly take his hand, Ambrose's words still in my head. They're bandaged, only his thumbs are free.
I lean down and kiss his hand because I'm afraid to move him even an inch. I look at my phone and see that it's 11:59 pm. I stare at it and wait till I see 12:00. "Happy New Year, Jack." I whisper and kiss his lips which have no sign of life. I keep my lips pressed to his, hoping for some Sleeping Beauty magic. All I feel is warm breath exhaled from his nose. Me and Jack's first New Year's kiss is in a hospital room and he can't kiss me back. Do you know what that feels like.
"Oh god, Jack." I whisper into his ear. "Please, I need you to be okay." I sob into his wrapped shoulder, praying he'll touch my hair and promise me that he's just fine.
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I wake up when a nurse knocks. "Cone in," in whisper. I could yell and it wouldn't affect Jack.
"I'm Aimee. I need to give Mr. Brewer his bed bath now. I'll come bring you back when I'm done," Aimee assuringly smiles.
"No, I'll do it," I say calmly, reaching out for the antiseptic wet wipes. "I was a Candy Striper for two years. I got this."
The nurse nods, hands me the wipes and leaves. Jack has taken care of me, been my friend and a better boyfriend than any girl could ask for.
I untie the clothe strings to free up his arms and peel the gown down to the middle of his abdomen. I carefully slide my hands under him to undo the string at the back so I can remove it fully. Jack's naked body lies before me, unresponsive and broken. I can see the full extent of his surfaced injuries now, and my heart is ripped apart more than I thought even possible.
I open the first wipe and start at his forehead, and clean his face and neck. I move down to his rounded shoulders that harness so much power. I can feel the sinews under his skin as I take the utmost care, the pad barely making contact lest I hurt him. I don't know if I can hurt him while, he's unconscious but I won't risk it.
I dab almost reverently at his chest, which seems to be the least damaged part of him, outside of his face. His ribs and abs are bruised and beat to hell. I'm afraid to touch him at all. They'll probably wrap his torso while his ribs heal, but Dr. Ambrose said some of his organs are bruised. I don't know how that'll go.
His thighs aren't that battered, but aren't perfect. I wash his manhood, and my eyes shut and I hear my sob before I realize I released him. He's swollen and purple between his legs, and I'm in agony and rage at the amount of care they took to make sure he was utterly defeated. What did they want from him? What called for this level of destruction? Were they trying to make him cry? Did they want him to scream out in pain?
His bath done, I cover him back up and retake my chair at his side, laying my head on his bed.
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Two Days Later
Jack has been declared in a comma for a little over a day now. I haven't showered, I've barely ate and I've barely slept. They brought in a second bed and removed the side from his so I can sleep with him. Every time I open my eyes and see he hasn't changed, my heart breaks just a little bit more. If he doesn't wake up soon, I don't know how much longer I can take this. I won't leave him, I'll slip into darkness with him until he wakes me up.
Anne and Maggie have been in and out. We've all agreed the little ones shouldn't see him like this. There's been no word from Glenn since Anne had told him. Grace, Jerry, Milton and even Jacqueline are flying in.
After the police report went out, the media had gotten wind of Jack's situation. Cards, flowers and stuffed animals for Jack, me and us as a couple are coming in at a rate I didn't even know was possible. The room is decked out and we're donating the stuffed animals.
I sent out a tweet, an Instagram and Facebook post saying, "We have enough stuffies, just send prayers. Attached was only a picture of Jack's bandaged hand in mine, the J + K bracelet over his wraps.
Grace comes in without knocking, but I hear the door. "Kim?" Grace asks quietly.
"Hmm?" I reply, not turning to look at her, my eyes focused on Jack's lips, his hair, his closed eyelids.
"Kim, will you talk to me?" Grace asks,her hand lightly on my shoulder.
I roll over and look at her, waiting for her to continue. "Kim, I think you should open up. You haven't left his side for more than the time it takes you to go to the bathroom and to let them run tests. You're wearing the clothes you came here in, aren't you? You haven't talked about how YOU'RE feeling to anybody.
I don't move and just stare at the sheet on the bed, trying to count the threads instead of blowing up on my best friend. Boom goes the dynamite, though. "How the fuck do you think I'm doing, Grace?" My voice is steady and calm, and I think that cuts her even deeper. That's what she gets for making such a stupid request.
"Excuse me?" Grace sounds taken aback. Excuse me while I spell this out for her.
"I said. How the fuck. Do you think I'm feeling! My boyfriend and the love of my life was beaten nearly to death! I haven't heard his voice, felt HIS touch in almost three days. I didn't even think to tell him I love him before he went out. I didn't know this would happen!" Right there, I lose it all. That last word, I break down for the first time since I got in this room. I'd shed small tears and let out sad sighs, but the water works and loud sobs hadn't followed me in the room.
"That's what I was waiting for." Grace says softly as she sits next to me and pulls me close. I bury my face in her shirt and let go of my pent up rage and sadness that's been building up. I can only hold my war face fir so long and through so much. "Here I am, crying my fucking eyes out, wanting nothing more than for Jack to kiss my tears and tell me that everything is okay. But he can't. He's behind me, dead to the world but I won't let him go!" I force out the words.
I really have to force the words through my gritted teeth as I try to strangle out my cries, battling to be heard over myself. "I can't do anything while I lay here and wait for Jack to open his eyes! But I won't leave him. I won't leave this room until I know he can. The thought of him never walking out on his own is tearing me apart and I'll leave in a body bag before I leave him!"
Grace's hand hasn't once stopped rubbing circles over my back since she began holding me. "Kim, when you first brought Jack home, I wasn't so sure about you two. But after seeing you two together, and seeing you here with him like this, I'm sorry I ever doubted it when I heard either of you say you love each other. If what you just said isn't true love, I don't know what is."
Grace's words give me strength and help me to calm my tears and breathing so I stop hyperventilating. "Thank you, Grace. Thank you so much. I'm really sorry I blew up at you. I didn't know I had to really let it go like that."
"No Kim, don't apologize. I literally asked for it. Just know that we're all here for the two of you. And based off what I've seen on TV and the internet in the last day and a half, so is America. We're currently in 'Brewer Watch.'"
I smile at Grace and hug her again, knowing her support along with so many others just makes me feel like me and Jack aren't alone, that I'm not the only one that wants to be here for Jack.
Rudy breaks through the door, completely unannounced. He had been in Arizona with his brother when I had called him. Rudy said he was on his way immediately, and I had no idea when he'd actually show up.
"Oh, son of a bitch." Rudy closes his eyes and pinches his nose as soon as he sees Jack's state. "Kim, freshen up. You're going to want to look your vest when we kick the shit out of the Black Dragons."
"The Westborough Black Dragons did this?" I'm immediately up and throwing my shoes on. We're going. NOW!' I bark before turning to Jack. "I love you so much, Jack. I'll be back as soon as I can, but right now, it's my turn to be Beast." I kiss his lips and I'm out the door.
"We're grabbing our crew and we'll all go together in Maggie's big ass van. I know this is the Dragons. Frank is the only one fucked up enough to lead this kind of thing," Rudy growls, his fists clenched.
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It's 6:07 pm, which Rudy tells us means that the higher level class has begun seven minutes ago.
Rudy kicks the door open as he sees Frank and ten others just getting off stretching mats. "Ty!" Rudy calls.
A pair of double doors open and a man in a black and red gi walks out, his face already sullen. "How's Jack doing, Rudy?" Ty's question sounds sincere, but I don't buy it.
"He's in a comma and there's barely an inch of his body unharmed, you psycho fuck director!" My fire temper gets the best of me as I explode, my fists in tight balls.
"What?!" Ty sounds honestly confused and hurt.
"Don't play fucking stupid, Ty. Frank and God knows how many others of your students beat Jack nearly half to death," Rudy says like a judge, jury and executioner.
Frank and nine of the ten begin to slink away, but a larger built young man with shaggy, dirty blonde hair doesn't move at all. After a short time, he slowly cranes his neck and just sees the retreating form of Frank.
In what seems like a flash, Frank is on his back, the man unknown to me standing over him. "'It was probably a hit and run?'" The guy's voice was laced in anger as he air quotes.
"Hit and run? Hit and run?!" I scream. "You left him for dead in a dumpster in December!"
"I didn't know we had done that much damage!" Frank shouts in the weakest defense I've ever heard.
Ty makes his way over to Frank, who's pinned down by the throat by the guy Jerry whispers is Jack's cousin Kai. "I don't care that you're my nephew. I don't care that you're my second star student. You are banished from my dojo, from my graces, and you WILL turn yourself in," Ty's cutting tone directed at Frank horrifies even me.
"What if I..." Frank tries to speak but Kai adds more pressure, causing Frank to choke.
"There is no 'if'. I'm bringing you there myself. Now." Ty pulls him off the floor by the gi and hauls him out.
"Don't think we've forgotten about you." Rudy turns and faces the others. "Frank couldn't have touched Jack on his own. How many of you little fucks were involved?" Nobody moves or speaks. Without orders, the rest of us advance to Rudy's side, taking fighting stances.
"If no one talks by the count of three, you will get ten fold what you did to Jack, one by one, until someone does talk or you're all in ICU." My threat isn't hollow, and by the looks on their faces, they know it.
"We all did it, except for Kai!" A tall dark hair boy breaks. "Frank just said we were going to rough him up a bit. He said we were going to scare Jack out of the area for good! I didn't know we were going to nearly kill him! Jack didn't make a peep the whole time we beat him. Things got serious when Frank had us hold him up. I thought about telling someone after Frank smashed the back of his head against the dumpster!"
By the end of the truth, my head is hanging low, my shoulders are slumped and I'm biting my knuckle trying not to cry, seeing it all unfold in my head. Why did they have to attack him? Why did Jack have to be so proud and stubborn? "Would... would you have left him alone if he had given up?" My voice cracks, but I don't care.
"Frank told Jack he would stop if he just cried out or asked," the boy admits, "but Jack wouldn't break." Finally I can't take it, the first sob escapes me. "When we threw him in the dumpster, I had him under the arms. As we lifted him up, I swear I heard him say 'I'm sorry, Kim.'"
That's the final nail. I was the last thought in his head before they left him for dead. He knew that I was going to feel this kind of pain because of this, and even with everything he had gone through, he apologized to me for what I would feel. "Fucking damn it!" I fall to my knees and cry out, pounding my fists on the floor in rage. I see blackness and I feel really dizzy.
Now I feel arms around me, they feel small but strong. What the fuck?
"Kim! Kim!" Rudy?
"Let go of me!" I try to fight out. I'm on my feet, but I didn't stand up...
"Kim, I won't let go until you calm down." Rudy's voice is quiet now. My head clears and I open my eyes and I can see. What I do see is shock on the faces of my friends... and eight bleeding Black Dragons scattered around the mats.
My jaw drops. "What the... did I?" I point to the knocked out karate students after Rudy lets me go.
"Yeah Kim, you did. You one or two shot every one of them, yo! That was some pretty scary shit. You're telling me you don't know for a fact you did that?" Jerry runs off and looks at me curiously.
"Oh my god, did I, did I have a black out rampage?" I cover my mouth in shock.
Rudy nods his head. "Yeah. It was justified, and really fun to watch."
"I'm guessing after that, that you're the Kim Jack whispered about?" The only one of the nine guilty Dragons asks.
"Yeah I am."
"I can't apologize enough, but whatever charges are pressed, whatever comes up in court, I will testify truthfully. Even my part in it." I now know why I didn't lay him out too, the guy that fessed up.
My cellphone rings, and the tone makes tears prick at my eyes. It's an acoustic of Phoenix that me and Jack recorded. "Hello?" I ask cautiously.
"Kim, this is Dr. Ambrose. He's up."
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So, on a scale of "I fucking hate you now" to "You're still okay", where did I fall on this one? I had a bad week as I said earlier, so I took it out on them. Don't worry, I have a plan to fix it, but you're going to hate me next chapter too. I will fix things though, you should know that about me by now.