I climb into the back of the SUV and Christian follows me.

'Hi Taylor.' I say.

'Hi Matthew.' Taylor says and starts to drive.

'Matt will you have something to eat when we get to Escala?' Christian says.

'Ice cream.' I mutter

'Is your throat really that bad?' he asks. I nod. 'You've not eaten since yesterday evening.'

'I'm sorry, I can't. It hurts too much.' I mutter.

'Hopefully these drugs will start to work quickly and you'll start to feel better so that you can eat properly tomorrow.' He says looking at me concerned. I shrug my shoulders at him and turn to look out of the window at the lights flashing by. 'Hey, what's wrong?'

'Everything' I say. He looks at me questionably. 'Fuck Christian do you really want me to explain how shit my life is right now.'

'You're still alive and you have a family that's loves you very much. It's been a tough week but everything isn't that bad and things will start to get better from now.' He says sharply as Taylor pulls up at the front of Escala. Christian climbs out and I follow. Crossing the foyer Christian walks ahead and calls the elevator, I follow behind him slowly. We travel in silence up to the penthouse. As the doors open and we enter the Great Room Christian goes straight to Ana and hugs her, he kisses her and whispers something in her ear, she looks at him shocked and blushes. I turn away.

'Matt' she says coming over to me and giving me a quick hug. 'Mia is with Hannah. She's asleep in the guest room upstairs at the moment and probably won't wake until tomorrow morning.'

'Ok, thanks Ana.' I mutter 'I'll go and see her now.' I head straight for the room that she's been using. Mia stands and hugs me as soon as I go in.

'Matt. I'm sorry I left you earlier at the hospital. Christian was insistent that I came to help with Hannah and I knew you'd be OK with the doctor.' Mia says.

'That's OK Mia. Thank you for looking after Hannah. I'll sit with her now; you go and get some sleep.' I say and hug her again. I sit on the side of the bed next to her. I stroke her hair and move it from her face. She looks so beautiful, I just want her to wake up so that I can hold her in my arms and comfort her. There's a tap at the door and I stand as Christian walks in.

'Are you going to stay here all night?' he asks.

'Yes, I don't want her to wake up and be on her own. I don't want to get in bed with her though, she might not want me.' I whisper.

'Oh Matt.' He says 'Don't start having doubts now. I've spent enough time with her the last five days to realise she loves you so much. You just need to be there for her to get her through this difficult time. I'll be back in a minute.' He says and he's gone. I shake my head puzzled as to what he's left for. I don't have long to find out as he returns quickly. He has another duvet and a mountain of other stuff.

'Get on the bed next to her, remember you need to look after yourself as well and get plenty of rest.' He says. I do as I'm told and then he throws the duvet over me and passes me a couple of extra pillows. He disappears again but returns quickly.

'Book, iPod, iPad, phone, juice and finally ice cream.' He says looking pleased with himself.

'Thank you.' I say taking the carton off him so I can make a start. It feels so good on my throat.

'Mia has gone to bed and is next door to you, I'm going to bed as well now. If you're not feeling well or you need anything call me, remember no risks.' He says and I nod at him. 'I'm sorry if I upset you in the car earlier.'

'It was true what you said though. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you.' I say. 'Thanks for everything you have done for me and Hannah, I really appreciate it.'

'You're welcome. Try and get some sleep tonight, Hannah has had pills to make her sleep until the morning and it would be better if you could spend some time awake with her tomorrow.'

'Ok, I'll just finish this ice cream and then head for a shower.' I say. He looks at me in alarm. 'What's wrong with that?'

'Nothing' he says. 'I'll sit here and wait while you have a shower.'

'You're worried I might blackout.' I mutter.

'Yes' he says. 'It was only last night that Hannah was screaming for me to help her, I was pretty shocked when I came into the bathroom and saw the blood everywhere. That's another scar that you'll have.'

'It's not as bad as the one on my chest and at least it will be hidden by my hair. I'll shower in the morning, you go to bed.' I say.

'No, go now while I'm here. Pass me your iPad, Hannah has got me hooked on a game and I want to beat her high score.' He says smiling at me. 'Your wash bag and some clean clothes and pyjamas are in that pile of things I brought in earlier'

'Thanks, you're as competitive as ever, and not just with me now.' I say smirking at him before going to the bathroom. I shower quickly and am soon ready to get back into bed.

'What game were you playing?' I ask Christian as he hands me the iPad back.

'I'm not telling you, you'll only spend all night trying to beat my score and you need to sleep.' He says smirking at me.

'I'll ask Hannah in the morning then.' I mutter.

'I'll tell you tomorrow if you want but I want you to sleep now.'

'Bossy as ever.' I say smirking at him.

'Don't be cheeky.' He says smiling back at me 'Sleep.'

Christian leaves and I turn the light out and do as I'm told and sleep. When I wake the sun is pouring into the room but Hannah is not beside me, I panic, where is she? Shit, what time is it? I quickly throw on a t-shirt and some sweat pants and am about to head downstairs when she comes into the bedroom. I stand and stare at her, not sure what to do.

'You're awake; I wasn't sure how long you'd sleep so went to get some breakfast. I was just coming back to sit with you.' Hannah says. 'Ana has gone with Mia to meet Kate; they are doing wedding things all day today. Christian has gone for a run but he should be back soon.'

'Hannah, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. Christian told me.' I say. Her body sags; I think she was trying to put a brave face on when she was talking just now. I take her in my arms and hug her tightly. She's crying, I kiss her forehead and then move her so that we're sat on the bed together.

'Matt.' she whispers 'I was so scared, it was awful. I'm confused.'

'What about baby?'

'Jordan.' She says and I freeze. 'Seeing him lying there but knowing that he'd been stalking me. I hate him but love him as well. Does that make sense?' Fuck, did she just say that she loves him. I don't know what to say but it doesn't matter because she carries on talking. 'We were together for two years and saw each other every day, he must have loved me so much to follow me after we split up. I keep thinking about all the things that we did together and it hurts so much that he's now gone.'

'I know baby, it will take time to get over this but I will be here for you. I know how you feel.' I whisper. She pulls away from me.

'How do you know how I feel?' she snaps 'You weren't there. You haven't lost someone that you love. How the fuck do you know what I'm feeling right now?' she shouts angrily. I look at her in horror. How could she have just said that? I know she's hurting but her words have cut right through me.

'Hannah, I know….'

'You don't know anything. You don't know what it's like.' She screams at me and then turns and goes into the bathroom. I get up off the bed and go. I can't be here for her right now. I wanted to help her but I'm hurting. As I walk downstairs and into the Great Room I'm relieved that everyone is out. I want to be on my own. I go to my bedroom and get dressed and then head to Christian's study. Searching in the top drawer of his desk I find what I am looking for, the keys to my Saab and also a gun. Shit why has Christian got a gun in his drawer, I always thought he was so against them as we all are because that's how mom and dad brought us up. As I'm about to leave the study I hear Hannah calling me.

'Matt, where are you? I'm sorry, I didn't realise what I was saying.' She shouts.

'Hannah, what's the matter?' I hear Christian ask her. He must be back from his run.

'Oh Christian, thank god you're here. I can't find Matt. I think I've hurt his feelings. He was being so kind and I shouted at him. I told him he didn't understand what it was like to lose someone you love.'

'Oh shit Hannah.' Christian says, quite calmly for him, I thought he'd be angry. 'Matt.' He shouts now. 'Matt.' He goes in the direction of my bedroom. I leave the study and go back upstairs, I don't want to see anyone especially not Hannah at the moment. I can still hear Christian. 'Matt, please. Where are you?' I think he's getting angry now. I stand in a guest room that is hardly ever used. Taylor runs past the door, Christian has obviously called him. 'Mrs Jones, can you take care of Hannah while we find Matt.' 'Fuck, Taylor he's found his car keys. Shit, he shouldn't be driving yet.' 'He won't have his phone so you can't trace him on that.' 'What about the car tracker?'

I'm here I want to say but the words won't come out. I can hear them searching the apartment. They know I haven't gone out in the car now. I sit hugging my knees, my chin rests on them. They'll find me soon.

'Fuck, where's he hiding?' 'Matt, please. Where are you?' Christian shouts and then enters the room to see me sat in the middle of the floor. 'Oh thank god. Taylor I've found him. Matt.' He says and envelopes me in a hug.

'Are you hurting?' he asks. I nod.

'Can you speak?' he asks. I shake my head.

'Oh no, please Matt. Remember what mom says, the hurt needs to come out. Please talk to me.' He says. I look at him through my wide eyes. 'Please Matt.' He hugs me again.

'You need a shower.' I whisper.

'Thank God you spoke.' He says and smiles at me. 'Talk to me, I'm here for you and then I'll shower.'

'I tried Christian. She stills loves him and she said that I didn't know what it was like to lose someone I love. I'm hurting so much.'

'She didn't realise what she was saying. She's probably still in shock.'

'She hurt me; I didn't think she would ever hurt me. I love her so much but when she said those words.' I say quietly.

'Matt, she's sorry. She regrets what she said. It's you that she loves now. You need to see her and talk to her.'

'No. I can't. She might hurt me again. I can't risk her doing that again. Please Christian, let me just stay in here out of the way.' I mutter.

'Matt, you need to sort this out with Hannah. Hiding in here won't solve anything.' Christian says gently. 'You love me don't you?' I look at him, shocked he's even asked.

'Of course, you know I do. Why do you ask?' I whisper.

'Look how many times I've hurt you these past few weeks and you're still here with me now.' He says.

'You're my brother.'

'And she is your lover, probably your future wife. Matt, don't let those few words spoil what you have together. Talk to her; tell her how you feel about everything. I know she's been your friend since the age of five but she still feels she doesn't know you. She's only just found out you're adopted, she doesn't know about all your insecurities, tell her so that she understands you.' He says gently. I nod. 'Can I send her up to see you?' he asks.

'Yes' I whisper, though when I look at him my eyes must show the fear.

'Don't be scared, you'll work this out together. I'll send her up to see you now. He says and then smiles at me 'I'd better have a shower whilst you're with her.' I smile back at him. 'While I remember, car keys?' he says and holds out his hand. 'It's too soon for you to drive. If you want to go anywhere Taylor or Sawyer will take you until you are fit enough.'

I hand him back the keys. 'Sorry, I wasn't thinking straight. Why was there a gun in your drawer?' I ask.

'It's not mine, I forgot it was there.' He says abruptly and doesn't offer an explanation. He stands and says 'I'll see you downstairs when you've sorted out everything with Hannah. You need to eat soon.' He turns to leave and is then gone. Whilst I sit and wait I wonder why his mood changed so suddenly when I mentioned the gun.

'

'