Connor's head turns to the right on the pillow as Ellen tucks his hand under the blanket and stands up to leave. He breathes deeply through his slightly parted lips in restful sleep, exhausted from the efforts of standing up for that short amount of time. Ellen watches his chest rise and fall. At least he is healing now. It's a small comfort, knowing this, for he has become a vulnerable man in the interim, no longer able to rely on his strength the way he has for so long. Everyone in Davenport has become his protectors, at last able to return to him, in part, the many favors he has done for them all.

His damp hair lies on the pillow along the top of his head. It isn't held back at all and it is pushed upward slightly, giving him a wild appearance despite his relaxed features and the long, dark lashes of his closed eyelids. Ellen smiles down at him and bends to kiss Connor's cheek just beside the corner of his mouth before she leaves the room.

Outside, Catherine is kneeling at a wash basin scrubbing the bed linens and the cloths they had used to bathe Connor on a washboard, dunking them into the soapy water and scrubbing them again. Ellen joins her, running clean items through the wringer and rinsing them in another basin of fresh water before hanging each item to dry on a wooden rack set in the sun.

"He's asleep now."

"Aye, we 'bout wore him out, didn' we?" she says with a chuckle before her tone changes to sassy admiration.

"He's a nicely buil' man, ain' he? They don' make 'em like that too often." Ellen shakes her head with a smile, remembering the smack Catherine gave Connor earlier. Catherine narrows her eyes at her from where she is kneeling and scrubbing a sheet on the washboard.

"Don' even try ta deny you were lookin', sweetheart. Ain' no woman in her right mind wouldn'ta taken a gander at that arse, given the chance!" Ellen laughs and glances over at Catherine.

"He's quite nice to look at, but he was terribly embarrassed that we were, so I feel unkind for taking amusement from it. He must have felt like a horse up for auction."

"Heh, well tha's a nice change, ain' it? 'Specially with tha pretty face a yers."

"Well, I haven't turned men's heads in some time, especially since I came here. I worry more about Maria. She's been wanting to take a trip to Boston again but I keep finding reasons not to."

"Why's tha'? Ya afraid the boys'll be lookin'? She's gotta find a man someday."

"No. She doesn't have to, Catherine. I'd rather have her stay here forever and be safe than end up like me… This is the happiest we've been and if I can keep her safe… innocent… just a little longer… I'll do anything to prolong it."

"Oh, darlin'. Every marriage will have its troubles, even with tha best of men. My Godfrey's a mess some days but 'e's a good man deep down, ya know?"

"He loves you and has a good heart. Not all men do. I only want the best for Maria."

"Of course ya do! Ya woudln' be a good mother if ya didn'! But yer gonna have ta let the girl fly one day," Catherine says as she hangs the last cloth on the rack and tips the wash basin over to dump out the dirty water. Ellen crosses one arm over her stomach and supports the elbow of the other as she nervously touches her bottom lip with her thumb.

"Yer thinkin' bout her, aren' ya? Go home, Ellen. I think I can 'andle a sleepin' man alrigh' til Prudence gets here."

Ellen takes Catherine's advice and walks slowly back home, only to find Maria excitedly running out to meet her on the road.

"How is he, mother? Did you talk to him? Did you tell him how you feel?" Ellen is nearly bowled over by her daughter's questions.

"Slow down, dear! One question at a time! Connor's doing much better today. He was able to stand for a short time, even. He's resting well now."

"But did you tell him?" Ellen smiles at her daughter's eager need to know such gossip. It's an innocent interest, though, and if she has her daughter by her side in this, all the better.

"I did." She keeps silent, anticipating Maria's reaction.

"And? Mother!" She grabs Ellen's hand with both of hers and tugs on it.

"Oh, alright. He was sleeping when I took his hand and spoke my heart to him. I thought he hadn't heard but after Catherine left to wash his clothes and the bed linens, he indicated that he had." Maria's eyes are wide and she opens her mouth in an excited smile.

"Does he feel the same?" Ellen remembers his simple statement that had shown her he had heard her heartfelt confession.

"I think… there may be some affection for me on his part."

"Oh, Mother that's wonderful!" Maria clasps her hands in front of her chest and positively beams with radiance and happiness, bouncing on her toes and dancing around with an imaginary partner. Before she can dance out of earshot, Ellen sternly addresses her.

"This is not to become the gossip of the town, Maria. Keep this between us until things settle down and he's back on his feet. It won't do to have a scandal here."

"Yes, Mother." Maria's elation is somewhat subdued but she flashes another grin as she pirouettes away towards the house, singing a sweet song.

They do their daily chores together, baking bread, feeding the chickens and cleaning their coop, gathering eggs and finishing up several items that needed mending for Norris. He is forever tearing his clothes in the mine and Myriam is too busy supplying the Mile's End with fresh game to spend time with endless repairs. Ellen is paid for her work with game and the arrangement keeps her larder full and her hands busy.

By late afternoon, Ellen can no longer deter Maria's determination to visit with Connor. Though somewhat excited herself, she schools herself to calmness, taking her time folding the quilt she is currently working on and putting it away, cleaning her tea cup and tidying the sitting room until Maria is leaning on the door and dramatically crossing her arms.

Prudence is sitting in the kitchen with Hunter while Dr. White is packing up his things in his bag.

"Hello, Ellen! Maria!"

"Hello Dr. White. We've come to see Connor." Maria is immediately flustered at herself for stating the obvious but she hadn't expected to see so many people here. Prudence smiles at her and Hunter scrambles off of his mother's lap to run to her as fast as his little legs will carry him.

"You can go see him now. I'm done with my examination." Maria sets Hunter down and turns him so he can walk back to his mother. She nearly knocks Ellen over as she goes to the door of Connor's room. She knocks and peeks her head in. Connor calls to her.

"You may come in, Maria." She smiles and goes to the bed while Ellen leans against the frame of the door. Connor is sitting up and wearing a loose fitting white shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His crest of hair is tied back with his usual red tie. Ellen still hasn't gotten used to seeing so much of his scalp but at least he's keeping it neat. She's happy to note that the ropes are gone from the bed and Connor appears much more comfortable for the lack of them.

Maria sits on the side of the bed like a proper lady but when Connor's eyes sparkle with the beginnings of a smile, she flies forward and takes him in a hug. Ellen can see a brief grimace of pain cross his face but he wraps his arms around her anyway.

"I'm so glad you're alright! You weren't yourself yesterday and I was… I was afraid!" Connor's eyebrows move closer together with concern and he glances over at Ellen in the doorway. She nods in conformation and he gently moves Maria back from him.

"I am sorry I frightened you. I am better now. You do not need to be afraid of me."

"I know." Maria lowers her eyes and fidgets with the skirt of her dress. She scoots away from Connor and he rests his left hand lightly over his stomach and his right on the bed. Prudence is standing next to Ellen in the doorway holding Hunter's hand. Maria casts a glance over in her direction and she smiles.

"I was planning on taking Hunter to feed the pigs today so we need to get going if we are to do it before dark. Take care, Connor. I'm glad to see you doing so well."

"Thank you for coming to see me. I would stand…"

"Nonsense. You stay right there in bed where you belong!" Prudence shakes her head brusquely as she orders him. Maria stands and clutches at the sides of her skirts, the beginnings of a blush starting on her cheeks.

"I believe I would like to help you, Prudence." Prudence raises an eyebrow but then quickly lowers it.

"Of course, child. You may accompany us." Maria smiles at Connor and then follows Prudence out the front door. Ellen closes it behind them and then steps back into Connor's room only to sit awkwardly in the chair against the wall. She hasn't felt so uncomfortable in her own skin in quite some time. The room is silent and Ellen has a hard time meeting Connor's eyes. Whenever she glances up at him he is patiently watching her and a tension builds up in her stomach the longer they stay like this. She gathers her resolve and looks up at him.

"I'm sorry for…"

"You do not…" They both speak at once and then proceed to awkwardly do it again as each of them tries to give the opportunity to express their thoughts first to the other. Connor raises his right hand out toward her with this palm upwards and Ellen lowers her eyes to her clasped hands in her lap.

"Please, Ellen. Speak." Ellen looks up at him and takes a deep breath. He nods at her and his lips, though relaxed, press together into a slightly flattened smile as he does. It makes him appear just as nervous as she feels. She hasn't felt so like an awkward girl in almost two decades.

"I… I apologize for speaking such… brazen words to you earlier. It was very uncouth and hope you don't think any less of me for it. I was greatly affected by your grave condition and I feared for your life. I couldn't bear for you... to… pass from this earth… without knowing the truth." There. She's said it. Her stomach wants to empty itself but that would only make the situation a thousand times more awkward than it already is. Connor rests his hands on his stomach.

"On the contrary, Ellen. I respect your honesty. It is a breath of freshness in a world where men and women prefer to hide their truest nature from each other." Ellen lowers her face again at his compliment yet he continues.

"It is the women of my people who commonly speak up first about interest in a man." Ellen stares even harder at her hands and takes in a quick breath. She is far too embarrassed to say anything in response.

"Ellen." She looks up at Connor and he extends his hand toward her with an inviting gesture.

"Come here." He pats the bed beside his hip. Ellen stands and crosses to him, squeezing her hands tightly in front of herself until he reaches up toward her. She takes his offered hand and he guides her down to sit beside him. Ellen looks at him for a long time without saying anything and then drops her eyes to his hand holding hers. His fingers are long; they bend slightly around her hand and his thumb almost crosses over the entire back of it. The way he holds her hand is light and gentle despite the strength she knows is in his grip. His dark skin is still somewhat reddened where the ropes had dug into him and she traces the fading lines with a fingertip of her left hand, turning his arm with her right hand. Connor releases his hold on her as if he had possibly offended her by keeping her hand in his for so long.

Gathering her courage, she looks up at him and scrutinizes his face. Before she can stop herself, she reaches up with her right hand and briefly touches the side of his shaved head where his braid used to be.

"Why did you do this?"

"It is customary among my people when we go to war."

"Did you win? Despite this?" Ellen gestures to his injury with a sweeping motion of her hand. Connor quietly looks at his feet under the blankets in consideration.

"I am unsure. It depends on how one looks at it. In some ways, I did. In others, I did not." He lifts his eyes to the picture of Achilles and his family hanging on the wall. His eyes are saddened.

"Was it worth the sacrifice? Maybe that's a better question." Connor sighs and looks into Ellen's eyes.

"I wish I could answer 'Yes,' with confidence. I am torn. I want to fight against all injustice… but always there will be those who seek to undo whatever I accomplish. Too many, I fear."

"There are those who can fight with you. We all do. You aren't alone!"

"I know. Everyone here has contributed in many ways, including you. Especially you, Ellen. Your flags fly high and remind us what we fight for. But I cannot ask anyone to take the risks I do. There are things I can only do alone."

"No one would ever refuse you. You've done so much for us!"

"I cannot ask for more than what has been done in return already. I will not put anyone at risk or compel those who came here looking for a simpler way of life to leave all of it behind for the sake of my choices. It is safer for them here."

"What good is safety when only one person puts himself in far more danger to protect his home because he refuses help? Let us help you. Let us in, Connor." Ellen raises both of her hands to his face and turns it to her. She can feel her unshed tears burning in her eyes for the struggle that lives in Connor's heart. The broken look of utter sadness in his expression nearly crushes hers.

"Is this to be my home? I struggle to see it as such. It is empty here for me… a reminder of all I have lost." Ellen's lips part at the sorrow in his voice and she takes a hand from his face and brings it over her heart.

"Oh Connor, no." she whispers, shaking her head. A tear runs down her cheek and Connor reaches up and wipes it away.

"Do not weep for me. I have chosen this life."

"But it doesn't have to be so… empty… for you." Connor wipes another tear that falls.

"I have not the time to give to a woman, a wife, no matter how much I wish that were not the case… It would be unfair to you and Maria." Ellen's breath catches and she looks away. So he does feel the same.

"Ellen." Connor says softly. He waits until she heaves a shaking sigh and turns to face him again with her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

"I would not wish to burden you with my many absences. That would be unkind and disrespectful to you. You both deserve better."

"It would be enough for me. It would be different!" He shakes his head slowly.

"How could it be any different?"

"Because when you're here… we'd be together. We'd be a family. And we'd always be with you when you're away. Here." Ellen lays her left hand on his chest over his heart.

Something changes in his face and he covers her hand with his. His eyes become closed off to his heart and a flatness creeps into his voice. He seems to speak into the air instead of to her.

"I should never have shown you how I feel. It was a mistake made in my weakness. I am sorry, Ellen." He turns then and looks into her eyes.

"Forgive me. There are things I yet need to do and they will take me places far from here." Ellen lowers her head and heaves a sigh. She straightens her shoulders and hardens her will. No matter what he needs to do, he will be back. He always comes back. Maybe he just needs more time.

"Then do what you must. I'll be here."

Connor leaves only days later, taking a small amount of supplies and his horse. No one is happy about his decision to leave. Dr. White pushes his glasses up on his nose and frowns as Connor gets onto his horse. He hides his discomfort well but his very movements betray it clearly. His only defender is Ellen, who calmly rests her hand on Dr. white's shoulder.

"Let him go. No amount of argument will change his mind." Connor looks down at her from his horse and a momentary look of shocked sadness at her support crosses his face before he urges his horse to a fast walk and follows the wide path through the village and out of sight.

Ellen had only come by the manor once after he had turned her love away. The nearness of him was too hurtful for her and she had had to calm herself in her room in the evening when she had broken the news to Maria. Her daughter was unable to understand why, when he had admitted caring for her, he would refuse to welcome her love. Ellen tried to explain but it had ended up sounding more like she was convincing herself than validating his reasons. Maria had come to her in the night and crawled into the bed like she used to when they had first moved to this place. Besieged by their sadness and shattered hopes, they took comfort in each other's presence. At least they still had each other.

Life continues on in Davenport, just as it always has. Connor's comings and goings were seldom a cause for major disruption in the past and though his rash departure was the subject of much talk for several days, it, too, eventually fades into only a passing comment on his well being. Days turn into a week and one week into two. To Ellen, the events of Connor's notable return begin to feel like some strange dream, and any moment she expects to see him walking down to the bay to harass Mr. Faulkner over some minor detail on the Aquila or pass by on the roads on one of his many trips to Boston. He doesn't, of course, and often Ellen's thoughts turn to grim imaginings of Connor being unable to defend himself properly from some wild animal or another because of his injury and he is long dead in the forest somewhere, never to return to them.

It is in the midst of one of Ellen's darker moods almost a month after Connor left, when she catches sight of yet another farm animal assaulting her vegetable garden. She resolves that moment that she won't waste another day in asking Warren to build a fence for her. She is sick and tired of watching her precious produce be consumed by passing cows and sheep. This time it's a horse. Ellen grabs her broom and dashes outside. The garden is down the hill a bit in the sunniest section of her property so she raises her arms over her head, waves the broom and shouts at it as she runs. When she gets near, he trots lazily away from her wild behavior and settles for some long grass instead. Ellen lowers the broom and walks closer to see who she needs to return the horse to.

He is a large horse that she has never seen before. He seems docile enough so she reaches up to grasp his bridle. The instant she does, the horse turns his head toward her and Ellen drops her broom. The portion of bridle that crosses over the top of the horse's long face bears intricate beading in blue and white diamonds with dots of red in the center. The only person who has ever possessed items with that design is Connor. Forgetting about protecting her vegetables and herbs, Ellen leads the horse by his reins as quickly as she can to the manor. All the convincing she had done over the long weeks he had been away simply fall from her as a desperate hope rises in its place. She throws the reins over a section of fence and hurries up to the front door.

Raising her hand to knock, she stops short of it when she notices that the door is ajar.

"Connor?" she calls. There is no answer but a faint scuffing sound reaches her ears. Emboldening herself, she pushes the door wide open. Connor is sitting on the floor with his back against the side of the staircase. The railing partially blocks her view of him but his left leg is out straight in front of him and his right foot is resting on the floor next to his left knee. Ellen slowly advances into the hallway, clenching her fists in apprehension at what kind of state she will find him in. Dirt is scattered over the hardwood floor and a shovel rests over Connor's legs. The tip of it is on the floor and the long wooden handle angles up to where he grasps the end of it in his right hand up by his bent knee. His left arm crosses over his stomach and his hand rests over where his injury is. He doesn't move at the opening of the door, nor does he turn his head to look at her when she kneels at his left side.

"Connor, are you hurt?" He stares ahead at the wall across the hall from where he sits. His voice is hollow.

"No."

"What happened?" He doesn't answer her for a long time. His lips separate and his face contorts into a painful grimace of sadness as he heaves several deep breaths. Ellen rests her right hand on his left shoulder and he finally chokes out an answer.

"They are gone."

"Who's gone?"

"My village. Everyone. They are all gone." He lowers his head and stares at the space between his legs on the floor.

"I have failed."

"Why do you say that?" He turns to look at her skirt where it had settled over his leg with pain in his eyes. He speaks aloud and his right hand becomes a fist on the handle of the shovel.

"I could not protect them! Everything I did… it was not enough." His voice then falls to a whisper once more as he continues.

"It will never be enough. Even the Spirits have abandoned me." Ellen takes the shovel from him and he loosens his grip on it to allow her to. She pushes it away so she can settle closer to him. Connor keeps his left arm and fist tightly pressed over his injury and Ellen covers his clenched hand with her palm.

"Are they… dead?" Connor shakes his head.

"No. Gone. They left the village because it was taken from them. Our land was stolen from us and sold! I fought to prevent it, I did all I was asked to do but I made too many mistakes… I trusted the wrong people." Ellen strokes her hand over his and he lifts his head to face her at last.

"We all err, Connor. The only thing we can do afterwards is learn from it and do our best to carry on no matter how awful it is to endure." Connor stares at her face, knowing that she, too, has endured the punishments of bad decisions. Though their lives had been completely different, and the challenges they have faced have not been similar in any way, the end result is the same. Bitterness, anger, pain, regret… In that, they are alike yet Ellen has managed to forge ahead and escape the ghosts of her past. If she can do it, maybe with time, he can too. But the weight of what Connor has lost is crushing. He was used like a tool by powerful beings he cannot hope to understand, and he did as they bade him, believing he could change the path of destruction foretold to him so many years ago. Not only has he disappointed himself, his bad decisions cost his people everything. It isn't only he who suffers as a result. The burden he bears is that of an entire nation.

A tremor runs through Connor's body under Ellen's hand and she raises her right hand from his shoulder and touches the side of his face. His eyes catch the light coming in from the open door and seem to glow in the semidarkness of the hallway. Had she really ever noticed what a unique color they are before now? They burn with his pain and anger but more than anything they are a bottomless well of despair. He breathes rapidly through his nose and his lips twitch from his repressed emotions. The only outlet for his pain seems to be his eyes and it's almost too agonizing to witness. Unable to bear seeing it any longer, Ellen offers the only comfort she can give, for with such a mighty pain as he has, words will surely fail. She leans close and touches her lips to his lightly.

Connor stops breathing until she takes her lips from his. To her relief and worry, his agonized eyes are closed but he has a deep furrow between his eyebrows. Another tremor takes over Connor's form and Ellen lifts her left hand from Connor's left arm and raises it to his right cheek. His jaw moves under her touch as he repetitively clenches his teeth. Her fingers slide down to the corded muscles of his neck, rigid with tension, and she lets them trace over the material of his jacket and down onto his shoulder. With firm pressure, she draws him closer to meet her lips and he again simply allows her to kiss him. Ellen is unsure whether she is affecting him at all; doubt and shame over her bold actions begin to clutch at her heart. She starts to pull away but Connor abruptly raises his right hand and captures her elbow. He drags his left arm off his stomach and out from between them only to bring it around her body and pull her tightly to his chest.

Ellen gasps both from the suddenness of his actions and the strength with which he had acted. They meet each other's eyes for an infinite moment, exchanging an incalculable understanding. Connor's pain is no less terrible to behold yet something else has blossomed in his gaze that almost resembles hope. Ellen leans into him and this time, their kiss is an act shared by them both. Connor is hungry for it. He is a man starved for affection and his need almost tears everything Ellen has to give out of her. She offers her love willingly yet it doesn't seem to be enough to fill the black void it falls into. She feels it in the way he grips her to his body and the racing of his heart against her breast. His lips are warm and soft as they drag on hers and he tastes of her with his tongue, drawing her bottom lip into his mouth. The sensation of it is heavenly and a small, needy sound escapes Ellen's throat. Connor's fingers twitch on her arm and against her shoulder: demanding, crushing and ever so gentle.

The tension in her own body comes to the fore and Ellen makes an effort to relax, curving herself downward, settling onto her left hip and conforming her shape to better fit against Connor. He slides his arm up higher on her back until his hand cups the back of her shoulder and he tightens his hold on her. At last their lips separate and they share a breathless minute. Ellen clutches at the leather strap that crosses Connor's chest. Under its thick and pliable width is a warmth that radiates into her fingers and she pulls herself up slightly by it. Connor turns into her embrace and Ellen rests her face against his neck and chest just below his face. Her body rises and falls with every one of his breaths. Neither one of them is willing to let the other go so they stay in their tense embrace as if frozen in time.

Ellen slides her fingers up the back of Connor's neck and onto his head, feeling the stubble of his hair that has begun to grow back in. She bends the tips of her fingers and rubs them over the soft, new growth and then down onto the skin of his neck. He lowers his face down and rests his lips on the top of her head, sighing into her hair as she kneads his knotted muscles.

Ellen has no idea how long they spend sitting that way but when the rapid beating of Connor's heart finally slows to a more normal pace, he does not give up his hold on her. When he finally moves, Ellen sits up with a start. She must have begun to drift off in his arms. Her hip aches from sitting in such a crooked fashion and it is a physical relief to turn herself and lean back against the wall of the staircase beside Connor. Almost on its own, her right hand slips into Connor's left and together they watch the shadows cross the floor and travel over their legs.