As Hannah stands in the doorway I stare back at her from my position on the floor. She looks so beautiful and as I stand she looks at me warily. I hold out my arms and she comes to me. We hug each other tightly. Hannah pulls away slightly first.

'Matt, please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you.' She whispers. I kiss her cheek and pull her close again. 'I was so scared about coming to see you after what I said.'

'Hush baby, it's ok. I forgive you.' I whisper kissing the top of her head.

'Matt, please kiss me properly.' She asks. I shake my head. 'Why?'

'You know why, we're not taking any more risks. I love you so much Hannah and I want to go away with you and if you get sick we won't be able to. If I kiss you I will want to make love to you. I'm desperate to but we can't. I know we did at the hospital but we're not there now, I'm going to be OK but I want to get to the stage where I feel normal again and we can go out and do things. I want to be healthy and fit by the time we go away in five weeks and also be well enough to be back in school with you. We just have to be patient.' I say.

'OK I'll be patient and you still love me?' she asks.

'Always' I say with a shy smile 'There will never be anyone else.'

'Oh Matt. I love you too. Christian was right you are so forgiving.' She says.

'What else has my brother been saying?' I ask her, steering her towards the bed, we arrange the pillows and Hannah sits between my legs, my arms wrapped round her. I nibble her ear lobe and whisper 'Tell me.'

Hannah giggles before replying 'He said that even though we're both hurting right now we needed to talk. Matt I really am sorry for what I said to you. I was confused about Jordan, I think it was the shock of what happened yesterday but he was awful to me the last few weeks of our relationship when I wouldn't let him take it further and then when we met him in the bar and he said those words I think he was just jealous that I'd moved on and found love and he had nothing. I did care about him otherwise I wouldn't have spent two years with him but it was never like the love that I feel for you.'

'Baby I understand. If you ever want to talk about him you know that I'll be here to listen.'

'Thank you.'

'Christian said I had to tell you about myself. Even though we've know each other years he said that you still felt you didn't know me. Do you want to hear my story?'

'Yes.' She whispers.

'Ok, are you sitting comfortably?' I say smiling at her, she nods so I start. 'My mommy and daddy were the best of friends with mom and dad and they did most things together. Elliot, Christian and Mia knew them really well, even better than I did. They holidayed together and as you've seen the house you know they lived next door to each other. The playground in the garden was probably there before I was even born as my brothers and sister spent so much time there I think it was built for them. When I was born Elliot was twelve, Christian was ten and Mia was four. I was born in the house and it was mom who delivered me. I can't really remember much about being with mommy and daddy, I think over time I tried to block it out but I looked at photos a couple of weeks ago and small memories are starting to come back. I know that they loved me a lot. I'd just started pre-K and on the third day they both took me to drop me off. Daddy was going to take mommy to work and then he was flying to New York for a meeting and he said he wanted me to be the man of the house and look after mommy for two days before he came back. I kissed mommy and said that I would look after her when daddy was away and she smiled at me like an angel and hugged me but I tried to wriggle away. Then daddy picked me up and threw me in the air before catching me. I giggled and hugged and kissed him before running off to play with my new friends. That was the last time I saw them. They were killed in a car crash together before daddy got chance to drop mommy off. Mom collected me from pre-k that day and took me home to dad. I've been with them ever since. I feel guilty every time I think about that day, mommy was trying to hug me and I wanted to wriggle away, I think if only I'd hugged her back perhaps they'd have been with me a few more minutes and then they wouldn't have been in the place where the crash was and they'd still be here.'

'Oh Matt.' Hannah says, the tears are streaming down her face.

'Don't cry baby. The story hasn't finished yet.' I say wiping away her tears. 'Everyone was so kind to me. They were really patient with me, always making sure that someone was there for me and that I was never on my own. The others are adopted as well but I always thought that mom and dad chose them but they didn't get any choice with me, I know they'd agreed to be my godparents but all of a sudden they had a five year old to look after. I worry that they all just put up with me because I had no-one else and that they don't really want me. I settled OK into the new family life as I knew them all and I'd seen them almost every day over the five years. Elliot wasn't around much as he'd started work and moved out of home but he was there most weekends, Christian was sixteen and he disappeared out quite a bit but was really patient with me when he was there. He was really close to my daddy and he's since told me that he went off the rails when mommy and daddy died. I hero worshipped Christian though and wanted to be just like him, I played the piano, took up kick boxing, rowed, swam and worked hard at school. I was devastated when he left home to go to Harvard. I was only nine and when he was away each semester it felt like the longest time ever, I used to count down the days until I would see him again. Somehow over the years I'd developed a fear of anything changing. I always wanted everything to be the same, if we went to a restaurant I always had the same thing to eat, I will only eat vanilla ice cream, Mrs Jones knows exactly what to give me because I don't eat much else. I always sat next to mom, whether it was at mealtimes, on planes, at concerts, at dinner parties. Dad was on one side of her and I always sat on the other. At the masked ball when she didn't want me next to her I was distraught, it was the first time that she didn't want me there. I'm terrified of making her angry again. Mom says I'm the only one that tells her how I love her almost every day and that I give her the most hugs and I think it's because of the fear that if I don't then something bad might happen. I freaked out a bit at the hospital on Wednesday when she left without saying goodbye because all I could imagine was that I might not see her again. Christian had to call her and they almost turned back. I'm pretty messed up Hannah, am I putting you off yet?'

'No not at all. You've managed to keep all this well hidden at school. I would never have known.' She says. 'Even when I came to your house to play you were always so happy. I was really jealous of your family and how they would always fuss over you and I just thought you were the spoilt youngest sibling.'

'I know, but deep down I'm totally insecure about the love they have for me. I'm always doubting it, if anyone says anything that I don't like I shut them out and go into my own world, if it's really bad then I go into my 'no words'. I think it's my way of coping because I think that they don't like me and then they won't want me in the family anymore. Dad has always been tough on me, more so than the others. I thought it was because he didn't like me but it was because every time he was telling me off he would think of my daddy and he'd end up telling me off enough for both of them, as I've got older he said it was like having him on the other side of the desk and then he'd be angry and upset about the death. Dad also said that's it's been tough bringing up his best friends boy and hoping that he's doing a good enough job for him. You might need to speak to Christian; he explains it better than I do.'

'You're doing a good job. I hadn't a clue about all this. How did you cope at school?'

'I think school was the easy part, I could just go each day and pretend that everything was the same and it hadn't changed. I could be the cheeky mischievous boy that was always in trouble for something, dragging you and Jonty into whatever I was up to. It was only as I got older, I think we were about fourteen that reality at school hit. We'd cut class and come here for the afternoon, Christian had just moved here and I wanted to show you where he lived. When he found us and took us back to school it wasn't too bad but he was waiting to pick me up at the end of the day and the lecture he gave me made me realise I couldn't mess about forever. I knew my family were always in the newspaper for their charity work and Christian was attracting attention because of the money he was making and I didn't want anything like that so I had to change. I've always been over protected and kept out of the media, Christian pointed out that day that if I carried on the way I was then I would naturally attract attention and I really didn't want it. It was easy to slip into being the quiet hardworking nerdy kid that no-one bothered, you were starting to get interested in boys and Jonty in girls and you both had lots of friends, I know the three of us still had time together but when you both went off with your groups then I would just be happy on my own. Mia disowned me at school and pretended I wasn't her brother, she was either so embarrassed that mom and dad were sat outside the principal's office or later that I was on my own all the time. She wasn't too bad with me at home.'

'So why is Christian so tough on you and over protective of you now?'

'Because he doesn't want me making any mistakes that I might regret, it would be so easy for me to do something and it end up in the newspapers because of who my family are. I have to be careful of who I'm friends with, a lot of people only want to know me to get closer to Christian because of his money.'

'And his looks.' Mia says

'You're making me jealous.' I say smiling at her.

'You don't need to be, you're actually very similar to both Christian and Elliot that you wouldn't know that you all had different birth parents. I can see why it would be easy for the media to target you; it would certainly be easier than trying to get something on Christian.'

'That's why at the hospital he had Ros from work sort out the Seattle Times; he didn't want anything in the papers about me. Do you think you can cope being in a relationship with me? I'm a lot to take on especially with my family in tow.' I ask her.

'Yes, I love you. I love how you've been at school, always making me smile and giggle. Even though you've gone off on your own a lot the last few years you've still sat next to me every day and you made me work hard, I wouldn't have got the grades I did without your help. You've always been there for me.'

'And you have for me. When Christian and Elliot got together with Ana and Kate I was so jealous of the girls and wanted to hate them, I didn't want anyone coming into our family and changing what the six of us had when we were together but I'm slowly learning that it isn't all bad. I'm starting to get to know Ana a bit more and really like her. Kate still intimidates me a bit.'

'They have both been really good to me as have all your family. They all love you so much, you're very lucky.'

'I know. I'm just scared I'm not good enough to be part of the family.'

'Matt, you have to start believing in yourself. You are brilliant at anything that you decide you want to do; you are kind, caring and easily one of the nicest people to be with. You're loved by everyone in your family, by me, by the teachers at school. Just start accepting the love that they all have for you.' She says in her bossy mode.

'I'll try.' I whisper and kiss her cheek. 'Thanks for listening baby, I've think you've heard enough about me for now.'

'I don't think I'll ever have enough of hearing about you.' She says smiling at me.

'Well I'm hungry so today's story has finished. If I don't eat we'll risk Christian going thermonuclear so we'd better go downstairs for some food.'

'OK we'll eat. I love you Matt Grey.'

'Ditto baby, let's go' I say grabbing her hand and pulling her up. I hug her and kiss her cheek once more before we head downstairs in the search for food.

'