Hi All, Sorry this chapter has taken so long to publish. I've had recent health issues, hopefully all OK now and a more regular update will continue. Thank you for still sticking with me and reading this story. Please review if you have time, it will be much appreciated x

I don't sleep long, in fact I've only been asleep for an hour but I feel so much better for it. I wander out into the Great room and across to the kitchen. Mrs Jones is baking and it looks like a chocolate cake.

'You've just missed Mr Grey and Hannah; they only left ten minutes ago.' Mrs Jones says.

'I don't mind, I'm not a huge fan of shopping.' I say, though I would have liked to have been with Hannah. I help myself to some juice and go to Christian's study. I look in the top drawer, the gun is still there but my car keys and phone aren't. He must have put them somewhere else. I turn his computer on and email him; at least it will go straight to his phone.

'Hi big bro, have fun shopping with my girl. I'm awake and bored. Where's my phone? Is it with the car keys?' I hit send and then spin round in his chair. The phone on his desk rings and I pick it up.

'What are you up to?' Christian asks.

'Nothing.' I say.

'Matt, you're up to something. You and bored don't go together. You're never up to nothing and you sound guilty.' He says.

'I was spinning on the chair in your study, sorry.' I mutter.

'I knew you would be up to no good.' He laughs. 'We're just at the Audi dealership, Hannah is wandering round looking at cars.'

'Shit, I haven't transferred the money yet.' I say.

'Don't worry, I'll pay.'

'Christian, I wanted to buy this for her.' I say quietly.

'You can pay me back; I'll send you the bill.' He says.

'Thank you.' I say. He must realise that I really wanted to get the car for Hannah as he would normally insist on paying.

'I'd better go; it looks like she's decided. I think it's a TT Coupe in red.' He says.

'Red' I say, I'm not overly fond of red cars but if that's what she wants I'll go with it. 'And seeing as you know my bank account better than I do, have I got enough to pay for it?'

'Yes to red, it's what the little lady wants and I'm certainly not going to argue with her. I wonder if she'd ever consider working for me?' he says and I can tell he's smiling. 'Matt, considering you're good with accounts and can look at mine and see what's wrong in an instant you have no idea of your own money, you have plenty in your account for about five cars.'

'Oh, that much.' I say, he's obviously been paying me too much again. 'And no, she's not working for you. If she's not working for me then she can stay at home and do her art work.'

'You're starting to get over protective; you'll be a control freak soon.' He jokes.

'Ha ha, remind you of anyone.' I say.

'Glad to see you're getting your sense of humour back. I'd better go before the slime ball of a salesman hits on your girl. Your phone is on top of the filing cabinet. I'm not telling you where the cars keys are. Laters' he says and clicks off so that I can't ask anything else.

I find my phone and wander back out into the kitchen.

'Is the chocolate cake ready yet Mrs J.' I ask cheekily knowing that Christian and Taylor are both out.

'No, I'm waiting for it to cool before I can do the frosting.' Mrs Jones replies.

'I'm not bothered about the frosting I'll just eat it as it is.' I say.

'Matthew, it's lovely that you have your appetite back but you can be patient and wait. The cake isn't just for you.' She scolds.

'Sorry.' I mutter.

'Don't sulk, you only want to eat because you are bored. Go and find something to do that isn't going to get you into trouble with Mr Grey.' She says. I grin at her, she knows me well.

I text Hannah as I wander to the library. 'Hope you're having fun and that Christian isn't being too over bearing. Missing you, Love Mx' I shove the phone in my pocket and search for a book, figuring I can at least lose myself in something for a couple of hours. I dread to think how long they'll take at the shops. Christian likes shopping and can spend ages looking at things and if Hannah is anything like Mia then I know I've got a while to entertain myself. I select a book on British history and then go to the TV room to stretch out on the sofa. This is my favourite room in the penthouse and the one I am most comfortable in. I am soon totally lost in the book and am only interrupted by Mrs Jones coming into the room speaking into the phone.

'I've found him; he's reading a book in the TV room.' Mrs Jones says smiling at me as she hands me the phone.

'Matt, where's your phone?' Christian demands.

'In my pocket.' I reply.

'Didn't you feel it vibrating or hear the ringtone?' he asks, sounding impatient.

'No, I was reading a book.'

'Jeez Matt, I don't understand how you get so distracted that you're not aware of anything going on around you.' He says, almost angrily.

'Did you phone for a reason?' I ask.

'No, only to check you were OK. You texted Hannah two hours ago and she replied then sent a few more texts and called but you didn't answer so she was getting worried and wanted to come and check on you.' He says calmly this time.

'Mrs Jones told me to find something to do that wasn't going to get me into any trouble with 'Mr Grey' I guess I can't even read a book quietly without you getting angry.' I say.

'I wasn't angry, just concerned and frustrated with you and your phone. We should be back in the next hour. Hannah is just trying on shoes and I'm carrying lots of bags.'

'You did let her spend some money didn't you?' I ask.

'Yes, I've let her use her own money. I've only spent money on Ana.'

'Good, I know what you're like when you're out. You don't normally let anyone else pay.' I mutter.

'I'm only giving in to my ill brother's requests and I daren't upset him at the moment because his girl will give me what for.' He says jokingly. 'I don't remember anyone speaking to me like that before.'

'Hopefully it will be the first and last time then.' I say laughing at him. 'Christian has Hannah had a good time out shopping?'

'Yes I think so; she's been giggling a lot. Why, what are you worried about?' he asks.

'Yesterday with Jordan.' I say quietly.

'Hey, don't start having doubts now. I've just spent over three hours with her and she's talked about you almost non-stop. It gets tiring after a while hearing how wonderful someone is. I hope Ana sees me in the same way that Hannah sees you.' He says and I know he's smiling. 'Hannah has finished in this store so we've got one more to do. We'll see you later.' Again he has clicked off and is gone. I can't settle with my book again so call mom.

'Hi darling boy, how are you feeling?' Mom asks.

'I'm good mom, I've only slept for an hour today and I can eat again. I think the drugs might actually be working.' I say. 'Are you having a good time?'

'Yes, it's relaxing. Dad and I have been for long walks and had lots of quiet time.' She says.

'Is dad still angry with me?' I ask.

'No darling, No-one can stay angry with you for long.'

'I miss you mom.' I say sadly.

'Hey, I miss you too. We'll be home soon.' She says gently.

'I know, I can show you my latest scar. Christian and Hannah are out shopping at the moment and the other girls are doing wedding things. Elliot is working I think. Mrs Jones is here with me. Mom when will I be able to go out and do stuff again and get my life back?'

'Soon darling. Matt, I've got to go. I'll see you soon.' She says.

'OK mom, I love you.' I say.

'I love you too darling.' She says and then is gone. I sit for a few minutes and then go to put the phone back in the kitchen.

'Chocolate cake Matthew?' Mrs Jones asks.

'No thank you Mrs Jones' I reply.

'What's the matter?' she asks gently.

'I just spoke to mom, I miss her.' I say sadly.

'Oh Matthew, chocolate cake will cheer you up.' She says gently.

'OK Mrs J. I'll have some cake.' I say and smile at her. 'Thank you.' I say as she places some in front of me. Wow this is good and is just what I need.

'Better.' Mrs Jones says when I've finished.

'Yes thanks Mrs J.' I reply and head to the piano. Mrs Jones smiles at me as I play and then she disappears, probably to do jobs elsewhere knowing that I will be OK as long as she can hear the music.

I play a mix of happy melodies and then start to sing 'Hello' by Take That followed by 'A kiss from a Rose' 'I'll Stand by you' and finally 'Fly me to the Moon.' As I finish I feel Hannah's presence at my shoulder, she wraps her arms round me and kisses my cheek.

'I love you.' She whispers in my ear.

''I love you too baby.' I whisper back and turn to kiss her cheek. 'How long have you been back?'

'Long enough to hear you sing three and a half songs.'

'Oh I didn't expect you back so soon.' I mutter shyly 'Did Christian hear?'

'Yes, and Ana, Kate and Mia.' She says with a smile. 'Christian said we weren't to make a fuss so he disappeared into his study with Ana. Kate and Mia are watching TV.'

'Shit, I didn't want anyone to know.' I say as I stand and envelope Hannah in my arms.

'I think you blew everyone away. They were so shocked.'

'Why didn't you stop me?' I ask.

'Because we were all mesmerized by how good you were. Matt seriously you are amazing.' She says whilst I just shrug my shoulders. 'Hey, don't sulk. Come and see what I bought, Sawyer should have brought all the bags up by now.'

'Did you have a good time?' I ask her.

'Brilliant, thanks. Christian is so good to shop with; he's so patient and didn't rush me. I thought he might have got bored. He's so different from what I imagined him being like from media reports. He had me in fits of giggles most of the afternoon. When we met up with the others by accident we went for a quick coffee, Ana said she couldn't believe how relaxed Christian was and she was glad he had someone to shop with because she hates it.'

'I'll be getting jealous.' I say though I'm smiling at her.

'You know you have no need to be.'

'I know, I'm happy you had a good time.' I say and take her hand and lead her upstairs to her bedroom.

'Thank you for the car. It's beautiful; I can't wait to drive it when it's delivered on Tuesday.'

'You're welcome baby.' I say as we walk into the bedroom. 'Wow Hannah you certainly had a good shop and Christian carried all these bags?'

'Yes.' She says 'He encouraged me to just buy things that I liked. I wouldn't have spent so much if I'd gone on my own.'

'So he is good at something then.' I joke. 'Show me what you bought.' I say trying to peek in the bags.

'Matt, you're worse than a kid, be patient. I'll show you in a minute and stop looking in the bags or you'll spoil the surprise.' Hannah says.

'I don't like surprises.' I say quietly.

'Oh Matt, it's not really a surprise. I just bought you some new clothes.'

'Really, you bought stuff for me?' I say, I'm totally surprised.

'Yes, though Christian did have to help me.' She says handing me some bags. There are a couple of shirts, a few t-shirts and polo shirts, a pair of jeans and some boxer shorts all from Ralph Lauren. 'Christian advised me, I didn't want to get it wrong.' She says quietly.

'Thank you baby.' I say hugging her. 'I didn't expect you to get me anything. I wish I could kiss you right now.'

'Me too.' She whispers 'Are you going for a swim with Christian?'

'I'll see if he wants to. He might just want to spend time with Ana; he hasn't seen her all day.' I mutter.

'Get your things ready, you'll be going. When we went for coffee we decided that if you wanted to swim then the girls would go for a Jacuzzi so we'll all be in the same place.' She says.

'Oh'

'Hey, what's wrong?' Hannah asks.

'Nothing, I'll go and get my stuff together.' I say and after a quick hug I head back downstairs to my room. I pull my t-shirt off as I go into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Standing in front of the mirror I stare at the scar. I don't know how long I'm stood there just looking at it but the door opens and Christian enters.

'I did knock but you didn't answer, I thought something might have happened.' He says. 'Hannah was worried about you, she thought she'd upset you. I said I'd come and find you and sent her with the others for a jacuzzi. Where's your swimming stuff, did you get it ready.'

'No, I can't go.' I say quietly.

'Why? Because of the scar.' He says and I nod. 'Matt, it's healing well and isn't half as bad as it was last week. It's only you that has a problem with it; the girls have all seen it and aren't bothered by it. Look at mine.' He adds pulling his shirt over his head. 'Hannah and Kate have never seen them and I'll still swim with you.'

'I don't notice them.'

'Exactly, so come on lets go. The swim will do you good.' He says putting his shirt back on. I follow and pull my t-shirt over my head.

'Thanks for taking Hannah shopping, she had a good time.' I say as I start grabbing my swim stuff from the closet.

'It was a pleasure. Your little lady can sure talk.' He says smiling at me. 'I'm surprised you actually got any work done in school if you sat next to her every day.'

'Oh we soon learnt that if we talked and didn't get the work done we weren't allowed out at recess and we would be split up and have to sit next to someone else so it was easier to work hard in class next to each other and then talk in the playground.' I say smirking at him. 'Come on let's go and get this over with.'

As we enter the fitness suite we can hear the girls giggling away loudly in the jacuzzi. Christian eyes narrow as he sees them sat in their bikinis, though he relaxes again when there's no-one else around. He enters the pool straight away and starts swimming laps. I sit on the edge with my feet dangling in the water watching him, my t-shirt still on. I glance nervously at the girls but they're not paying attention to us, they're too engrossed in wedding talk. I quickly take my t-shirt off and throw it on one of the poolside loungers and then pulling my goggles on I get in. Slowly I swim a lazy front crawl up and down shutting everything else out. It feels so good to be back in the water. After a while I stop at the end where Christian is sat on the side.

'Feel good?' he asks, I nod and grin at him. 'I think that's enough for today, you've done thirty minutes.' I float on my back as he continues to talk to me. 'The girls have gone back to the penthouse to get ready for dinner. Matt, the car that nearly knocked you down had false plates, Barney managed to trace them on the city CCTV as far as the bridge back to Bellevue but then he lost them. I want you and Hannah to have security with you at all times. Ryan will be back on Monday so I will assign him to you for now until Taylor sorts out some more. I don't want any arguments about this from you or Hannah. Will you speak to her or shall I?'

'I will, I probably need to apologise to her as well for just disappearing on her earlier.' I stand and climb out and Christian throws me a towel. 'Shit I'm no good at this relationship stuff.'

'Neither am I.' Christian says.

'Well you must be doing something right, you're getting married in three weeks.' I say smiling at him, he grins back at me. I pull my t-shirt back on and head for the elevator. 'I'm going to shower, what time is Elliot getting here?' I ask Christian as he follows me.

'He should be here soon. Matt I should warn you Ana was totally blown away when we got back today and you were singing, she might ask you to sing at the wedding.' Christian says as we exit the elevator at the penthouse.

'Fuck, I didn't want anyone to know.'

'Matthew Grey! That's a lovely greeting. The first word I hear is a swear word, and what didn't you want anyone to know?' Mom says.

'Mom' I say going to her and enveloping her in my arms. I hug her tightly. 'Mom, I love you. I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow.'

'I know, we were just about to board Christian's jet when you called earlier but I wanted to surprise you. You didn't tell me someone tried to run you over earlier. Christian had called dad to tell him and talk about security so we decided to come back early.'

'Mom you know I don't like surprises.' I say as I kiss her cheek. I'm so happy that she's here.

'I don't like you swearing.' She scolds.

'I'm sorry mom.' I say as Christian comes to hug her.

'Maybe Matt could show you what he didn't want anyone to know as a way of an apology after he's showered.' Christian says smirking at me. Shit how am I going to get out of this one.

'That would be lovely darling boy.' Mom says and I know I'm cornered. We walked into the Great room and I head towards my room.

'It's a good job I can't do much at the moment because I want to beat the fucking shit out of you right now. I can't wait until I can kick box again because you aren't going to know what's hit you.' I say to him as he's about to go into his bedroom next to mine.

'Bring it on.' He says with a grin. 'I warned you earlier about swearing and you didn't take any notice so it serves you right. You might listen to me next time.' I glare at him then turn and walk into my room and slam the door behind me, I'm so angry with Christian but don't want to argue with him. I head for the bathroom, strip off and stand under the hot water, this feels better but I'm still angry. I turn the shower off but feel the familiar light headed sensation, shit this is all I need right now as I sink to the shower floor. I sit with my head between my knees until I feel OK. I hear someone knocking on the door.

'Matt' Hannah calls, she tries the door but I must have locked it. I stand, slightly shakily but better than I was. Grabbing a towel I start to dry myself and unlock the door. As I leave the bathroom Christian bursts into the bedroom followed by mom.

'Darling are you OK?' mom asks, the concern is etched on her face.

'You locked the door, what if something had happened to you?' Christian says angrily.

'Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'm fine.' I mutter turning away so they can't see my guilty face. I hear Christian sigh as he leaves the room, as I turn back mom is still there watching me.

'You're not fine are you?' mom says quietly, she knows me so well.

'Mom, I just felt light headed in the shower. I sat down for a bit until I felt OK. Please don't tell Christian, he'll be so angry with me for locking the door, I did it without thinking because I was angry with him.' I say.

'Can I check you out then?'

'Yes, where's your bag? Can you get it without Christian getting suspicious?' I ask her.

'It's in the car; you get dressed but leave your shirt off. Wait for me in here, I won't be long.' She says and then leaves. I do as I'm told and pull on a pair of the new boxer shorts and the jeans that Hannah bought me earlier. I go and sit in the chair and wait for mom. Christian beats her to it though.

'What's going on?' he asks through narrowed eyes.

'Nothing.' I say.

'So why has mom gone to the car? Is it to get her doctors bag by any chance?' he asks. I gulp and look away. How does he know? 'Matt, tell me.'

'She just wants to check me out before dinner.' I say quietly.

'Because?' he asks. He just never stops, he's so ruthless.

'Because I had a dizzy spell in the shower. Are you happy that you know now?' I say. I can see he's clenching and unclenching his fists. Shit he's angry. He glares at me and then turns and leaves without another word. I pull my knees up onto the chair and hug then whilst my chin rests on them. I feel mom's hand on my head, her fingers pulling gently on my curls. I didn't hear her come in.

'Darling, what's wrong?' she asks. I look at her through wide eyes. 'Did Christian find out?' she asks and I nod. 'Was he angry?' again I nod. 'OK, I'll speak with him but I'll check you out first.' She says gently. I know the procedure, she listens to my heart, I hold out my arm so she can check my blood pressure. She feels my back and then listens so I breathe deeply. Hannah comes in whilst she's doing the checks. I give her a small smile and she beams back at me. 'Matt, everything seems normal, are you feeling OK?' moms asks and I nod at her. 'OK, I'll leave you with Hannah; dinner will be in ten minutes.' She says and after putting her things in her doctors bag she leaves. I stand and hug Hannah, kissing her forehead. I want to lose myself in her right now but know that I can't.

'Matt, why did you lock the door?' Hannah asks gently. I shrug. 'I was worried about you.' I pull her close again to let her know I'm OK. 'Matt, have you got words?' I shake my head. 'Christian?' she asks and I nod. She pulls away from me and leaves the room; she is back two minutes later dragging Christian by the hand.

'You've got ten minutes to sort out whatever has gone on between you before we have to sit down to dinner with everyone. Both of you were the best of friends thirty minutes ago so I'll leave you to talk over what has happened. It would be quite nice to have a happy atmosphere at the dinner table rather than you two sulking with each other. You wouldn't think that one of you is a hotshot billionaire and the other is potentially heading that way to follow in his brother's footsteps but you're like two ten year olds the way you carry on with your arguments and petty squabbling. Christian you'll need to start the conversation because Matt has no words, please get him to talk before you leave this room because I'd quite like to have a conversation with him at some point this evening.' She glares at Christian and then at me before leaving the room once more. I pick up my shirt and put it on, buttoning it slowly for something to do.

'Do you still want to kick the shit out of me?' Christian asks. I nod. 'Likewise, I can't believe you locked the door. Jeez Matt. What if you'd passed out completely and hit your head again.' He glares at me.

'I didn't think, I was angry with you and just did it automatically.' I say quietly. 'You know I didn't want anyone to know that I could sing, yet you didn't think to stop me earlier instead letting all four girls hear me and then you put me in a position with mom that I could hardly refuse to sing for her. Why did you do that? I don't understand you at times, one minute you are so kind, you've been so good with me today and even Hannah but then you take it all away with a comment that you think is funny.' I say me voice getting louder and louder.

'Except now you conveniently have a dizzy spell and then go into your no words so everyone feels sorry for you after you did something stupid. Did you do it to get out of singing?' he hisses and I don't know what happens to me next but I feel my fist connect with his face. Fuck I've just punched my brother. His hand automatically goes to his face. He stares back at me in shock. I glare at him. 'Matt, that's a low blow and bang out of order. You know I can't touch you in your condition.' I continue to stare at him, the bruise is already coming out below his eye but I don't care. I feel like I want to hit him again. I turn and walk out of the room. He calls me to come back but I carry on walking. I cross the Great Room, the whole family is stood looking at me expectantly as they wait to sit down to dinner. I hesitate and then Christian appears.

'Christian, what happened?' mom says as Ana says 'Christian, your eye.' I glare at everyone.

'My loving brother thumped me.' Christian says. I shrug and eye him warily.

'Matt.' 'Matthew.' Mom, Mia and Hannah exclaim and shriek. Elliot grins and obviously thinks it's amusing. Dad shakes his head. Mrs Jones appears with an ice pack and disappears discreetly. Mom fusses over Christian and checks his eye.

'At least the bruising won't last long darling.' She says gently to him before she turns to me and stares at me coldly. 'Matthew, whatever has happened between you two this behaviour is not acceptable.' She's angry with me. I look at everyone, they don't know where to look, even Hannah is staring at the floor uncomfortably. At mom's words Elliot has taken the smirk off his face and is looking at me and then mom with a concerned look on his face, he wasn't around when she was mad with me last time so has never witnessed her being angry with me before. I gulp and breathe deeply. I don't want to be here anymore. I turn and head back to my room.

'Leave him.' Mom says 'He can stay in his room while we eat. I don't want to sit next to him at the moment so we'll have dinner without him. Let's sit down now. Hannah don't worry, he'll be fine. Leave him to calm down, come and sit next to me now.'

I sit on the end of the bed feeling sorry for myself. I don't even know why I did it; I've never hit him like that before. I've never even felt like I wanted to thump him before. I look around the room; I don't want to be here. I pick up my blackberry off the bedside table along with my wallet. Moving towards the door I listen and can hear the conversation around the dinner table. Mia is trying to convince someone about going to a club later, Christian and Ana are talking about the wedding with mom, Hannah is chatting with dad about the trip away he's just had with mom. It all seems normal family stuff and I feel totally excluded. I exit the bedroom and go into Christian's room and onto the balcony and make my way onto the fire escape. As I climb down the hundreds of steps I haven't got a clue what I'm going to do, all I know is I've got to get away. As I reach the bottom I turn my blackberry off so that they can't contact or trace me. All my thoughts as I leave Escala behind are that I'm so alone and that I'm no good for this family.