I see dad disappear into Christian's study. Ana, Mia and Hannah are sitting on the large white sofas. Mom is hovering beside me.

'Mom go and sit down on the sofa, I'll go and see dad.' I say to her.

'Darling, I'm worried about you.' Mom says.

'I'll be fine, I'm sure when Christian gets back with Taylor they will have sorted this out.' I say standing to give her a hug. 'Go and talk with the girls, they'll be talking weddings and holidays so it will take your mind off me.' I kiss her cheek and then head to Christian's study to find dad.

'Matt, here's your phone.' Dad says as I enter the study.

'Thanks dad, have you heard from Christian?' I ask.

'Yes, he's just called. He said you're not to worry and that they're on their way back here now.'

'OK. Mom's worrying about me. Sometimes I think it would have been easier for you if I'd been in the car almost thirteen years ago.'

'Matt don't ever think that and don't let your mom hear you say it either. I don't know what we'd be like as a family if we hadn't had you with us. Everyone loves you so much. You're the one that has put a smile on our faces over the years.' Dad says.

'Not so much the last few weeks though.' I mutter.

'You've had a difficult few weeks but hopefully things will change for the better. Are you sure about taking Mia away with you? I'll speak to her if you'd rather just go with Hannah.' Dad says gently.

'It's fine dad, she knows what I'm like. I haven't had a nightmare for a while but I'm worried in case I have one on holiday. At least she knows about them.' I say quietly.

'So you're taking her as a comfort blanket because me and mom aren't there for you.'

'Yes.' I whisper looking at him with the fear showing in my eyes.

'Matt, what can we do to help you?' I feel like we've let you down.'

'No dad you've done everything you can for me. I'm going to see Dr Flynn tomorrow to see if he can help me.' I say, he looks at me with sorrow in his eyes. 'Dad, growing up in this family couldn't have been better. You and mom have always been there for me and I can't thank you enough for that, it's just sometimes my head gets a bit messed up and I don't really know who I am. Hopefully with Dr Flynn's help and a holiday I'll be able to sort myself out. I still can't believe that I thumped Christian, I'm so ashamed of who I have become.'

'I was shocked when I saw his eye but Matt you must have had your reasons and you don't need to explain them to me. You've had a tough week, it can't have been easy for you stuck in hospital and I didn't help getting angry with you the other day and just taking mom away. In hindsight we probably should have stayed here, you needed mom didn't you?' I nod and look away. I don't want him to see how upset I am. I turn and go and sit on the sofa at the far end of the study. When I look back to the desk dad has gone but then mom appears.

'Darling boy, what's wrong? Dad said you were upset and he didn't know what to say to you.' Mom says coming to sit next to me.

'Mom, I'm OK. I was just having a moment. I'll be fine.' I say. She looks at me the concern is etched on her face. 'Don't worry mom, you and dad can't be there for me all the time. I need to grow up otherwise I'm never going to leave home and live my own life. I can't live in the past any more having regrets and worrying all the time. I've got to move forward and live life to the full. I should be grateful that I'm still alive.'

'OK but answer me this question. If you weren't so scared about change and leaving home and being away from this family where would you go to university and what would you study?' mom asks.

'That's two questions mom, I'm going to Pullman with Hannah.' I say but look away.

'Look at me and answer the questions.' She says with a determined voice that makes me look at her.

'OK, I can answer the first one straight away, it's Cambridge. The second one is more difficult, there's so much I want to learn. I think it would either be music or math.'

'You want to go to England.' I nod at her. 'Why would you choose that university?'

'It's one of the best in the world and I want to row in the boat race that we watched once.' I say.

'Oh Matt, you do pick things for funny reasons.' mom says smiling at me. 'Did you know that it was the university that your mommy went to?'

'No.' I whisper. I look at mom not sure what else to say.

'She had the most amazing time there, she would be very proud of you if you followed in her footsteps.' Mom says gently.

'It's a long way mom, and what about Hannah?' I ask.

'Matt, you have to do what you want and what is best for you. If Hannah stays here she will wait for you darling, you'll have been together for over a year by the time you leave. University semesters aren't that long, you can come home for the holidays and we can visit you. Please think seriously about this. Whilst you're away this week look into the courses and what you need to do, it might mean you have to do something different at school this year to qualify for entry. Talk to Hannah, she will understand darling.'

'OK mom, I'll think about it. When I told dad that I was going to Pullman instead of Harvard he told me that you'd be happy because it was a drive instead of a flight. England is a long flight mom.'

'Yes I know. Remember I've been in a similar situation before. Your mommy and I were inseperable but we coped and we were probably better people for it. It made our friendship stronger. Today communication is so much better we can speak on the phone everyday and we're lucky enough to be able to afford to jump on a flight if we need to or even borrow Christian's jet. When I went to university I would spend my time writing letters to your mommy and wait desperately for a reply. We couldn't afford the airfare to visit often.' Mom says as Christian bursts into his study. 'Please think about it for me and for your mommy.' She adds quietly before giving me a hug.

'OK mom, I will.' I say hugging her back and kissing her cheek.

'Am I interrupting something?' Christian asks.

'No, we've just finished.' I say as dad walks into the room.

'All OK?' dad asks looking at mom.

'Yes Cary, I'll tell you about it later.' Mom says smiling at him.

'I take it you all want to know what happened earlier.' Christian says.

'Yes' we all say.

'OK, the person following you was one of Hannah's brothers. He did try and knock you down yesterday but had second thoughts because he didn't want to hurt Hannah. He has followed her all day today but luckily couldn't get hold of her because of the security. He wanted you out of the way so that Hannah would go back home to her mom. Apparently the whole family is suffering because as she's not helping in the shop any more then her mom can't help with the babysitting.' Christian says. 'Hannah's mom wants to see her Matt.'

'OK, I won't stop Hannah seeing her but it's entirely up to her. If she went before we went away could someone take her? It's probably best if I'm not there.' I say.

'I'll get Sawyer to drive her, she's used to being with him.' Christian says looking at mom.

'I'll go with her darling, we'll go tomorrow whilst you're at your appointment with Flynn.' Mom says.

'Thanks mom.' I say. 'Does Hannah know?'

'No not yet.' Christian says.

'OK, don't tell her about her brother just yet. I'll just tell her that I think it will be a good idea if she went to see her mom and that you'll go with her, is that ok with you mom?' I say.

'Yes.' Mom says.

'OK, I'll go along with that as well.' Christian says. 'Now security, Sawyer will come with you to Hawaii.'

'But he is always with Ana.' I say.

'Ryan can be with Ana, he has just been on a break. Sawyer can come with you along with two others that are starting tomorrow. Sawyer will train them and watch them until I am happy for them to be alone with you and Hannah, I don't want the same mess that happened last time. Besides you'll need extra if you're taking Mia with you. Are you sure about that decision?'

'Yes.' I say looking at dad. Dad looks at mom and I know he will tell her my reasons later.

'I think it's time I took everyone home. I didn't drink tonight luckily so I'll drive Matt's SUV, we'll take Mia with us as well.' Dad says.

'Thanks dad, Sawyer can take Elliot home.' Christian says. As mom and dad leave the study Christian holds me back. 'Are you OK?'

'Yes.' I say.

'Matt, I'm sorry about the floating bridge. In the heat of the moment I forgot.' Christian says.

'I need to get over it at some point. I'll talk to Flynn about it.' I mutter.

'Do you want Taylor to drive you on it?' Christian asks.

'Maybe one day. Let me speak to Flynn first. I can't get the pictures out of my head.' I say quietly.

'You were never meant to see them.' Christian says gently. 'We only left you for a minute watching cartoons and you put the news channel on by accident.'

'I was always doing stuff I shouldn't and I still never learnt from it. Fuck, seeing the car crushed between two lorries on that bridge isn't something that goes away. I've forgotten so much else from my early life but I can't forget that.' I say. I put my head down and the next thing I feel is Christian's arm around me guiding me back towards the sofa. I put my head in my hands. 'I can't go out there yet. I can't face anyone.' I say.

'OK, shall I leave you alone?' Christian says.

'Yes, let me sort myself out and then I'll come out.' I say.

'Have you got your phone?' he ask, I nod and show him. 'If you want me back in here text me.' He says before leaving me with my thoughts. I sit for a while then stand to leave the study. I stand at the entrance to the Great Room, dad sees me first.

'Are you ready to go home?' dad asks. I nod at him. Everyone stands and makes a move towards the elevator.

'Will you be OK?' Christian asks. I nod. 'Text me when you can.' Again I nod. As we enter the elevator mom looks at me and I can tell she's worried. Hannah is stood next to me and I pull her close and hug her.

'I love you baby.' I whisper in her ear. She hugs me back hard and kisses my cheek.

At the car I climb into the front seat next to dad. Mom, Hannah and Mia sit in the back and all are subdued. As we exit the garage dad indicates to go right.

'Dad go left.' I say.

'Matt, that will take us over the floating bridge.' Dad says quietly.

'I know, I need you to do this now. Please dad.' I say clearly.

'OK, if you change your mind before we get there then let me know. We can turn round and go the other way.' Dad says.

'I won't. Even if I have to keep my eyes shut I want you to keep going. I have to get over this fear before I can start moving forward with everything else.' I say.

'Darling boy…..' mom says but I interrupt her.

'Mom, if I can't do this then I can't even think about what we talked about earlier.' I say turning round and looking at her, Hannah and Mia. 'Don't worry, I'll get over this. I just need some help.'

'OK darling, we're all here to help you.' Mom says rubbing my shoulder. Hannah leans forward and kisses me before we set off.

'Let's go dad, the sooner you start driving the sooner it will be over.' I say.

'OK son.' Dad says and smiles at me.