Taylor gets out of the driver's seat and opens the back passenger door of the SUV for me.

'Hi Taylor.' I say.

'Hi Matthew.' He says smiling at me as I climb in.

'Surprised to see me.' Christian says grinning.

'Yes, I didn't expect you. I thought you were busy in meetings.' I say.

'The last one was a waste of time and I was bored. I'm free until two so we'll drop you for your meeting with Flynn and then I'll go back to work. Where do you want to eat?' he asks.

'I don't mind.' I mutter.

'Matt, you do mind. You're the one who is fussy.' Christian says.

'I'm not really hungry.' I say quietly. He leans forward and says something to Taylor about stopping at the deli.

'What's the matter?' Christian asks me.

'Nothing.' I reply sulkily.

'Matt, talk to me.'

'Am I a spoilt brat?' I ask him. He starts laughing. 'What's so funny?'

'Did Hannah call you that?' he asks and I nod 'So now you're worrying about it.' Another nod. 'Tell me why she called you that?'

'In her words because I manipulated Seattle's hotshot CEO who drops everything to have lunch with me because he's too scared to upset me. She said I sulked and stropped to get what I wanted and then said I was a spoilt brat.' I say 'I'm sorry I shouldn't have made you have lunch with me.'

'Matt you didn't, you only asked if you would see me today. It was my decision to cancel the meeting. I wanted to see you as well.' He says.

'Really.' I say.

'Yes really.' He says as Taylor stops at the deli. 'Usual Taylor please' Taylor climbs out as we sit in the car and wait. 'You will always be spoilt though.'

'That's what Hannah said as well. She said you would always spoil me.' I say.

'Always. Mom will as well, she always has since the day you were born. If you'd done something naughty she would try and tell you off and you would smile sweetly at her and look at her with your wide eyes and then hug her and kiss her and tell her you loved her and her heart would melt and she couldn't be cross with you. We always used to say you were her favourite and she told us off, saying she didn't have favourites but you just knew how to charm her.'

'I didn't think she treated me any differently to you, Elliot and Mia.' I say. Taylor is back in the car and sets off driving again. 'Where are we going?'

'Surprise.' Christian says. I look at him questionably. 'I know you don't like surprises but just wait and see.'

'OK.' I whisper.

'How was the hospital?'

'Fine.'

'Don't sulk because I won't tell you where we're going.' He says but he's grinning at me.

'It was good, we can go away tomorrow. I might even be able to surf in a few days as long as there's someone in the sea with me.' I say.

'That won't be a problem, you'll have three security men with you. Sawyer likes to surf so he can make sure you're OK. I'm a bit jealous now that I know you can surf again. I wish I was coming with you.' He says.

'You're as bad as Elliot. We can all surf together at autumn break. I'll be stronger then, I don't think I'll be able to do it for long this time. Apparently I can't over-do it. Wait I shouldn't be telling you that, you'll pass it on to Sawyer.' I say smiling at him.

'He needs to know.' Christian states. 'So, last night?'

'Dad drove over the floating bridge.' I mutter.

'What? He never goes that way with you.' Christian says surprised.

'I made him.'

'Why?'

'Because I was chatting with mom just before you came into your study and something she asked me made me realise that unless I start getting on with life and moving forward then I'm always going to be stuck in the same place. I'll forever fear change, eat the same foods, be scared to be too far away from you all. I thought if we went over the bridge and I was OK then I could start thinking about other things that I want to do.' I say.

'And'

'I was fine, tense, could hardly breathe but I'm still here and it will be easier next time. I don't know whether I'll be able to drive across though.' I say.

'I'll come with you if you want, or Taylor will.' He says gently.

'Thank you.' I say and smile at him.

'So what did mom ask?' he asks.

'She said if I wasn't so scared of change and leaving home and being away from the family where would I go to university and what would I study.' I say.

'I can tell the answer is something I don't want to hear.' He says.

'Probably. I want to study either music or math.' I say and look away.

'Where?' he asks. I turn and look at him. 'Tell me, where?'

'Cambridge.' I whisper.

'England' he says and I nod. 'Fuck, I wasn't expecting that.' He says. I sit quietly and look out of the window. Christian is quiet as well. We've just stopped at some gates and Taylor keys a number into a pad on the gate post.

'Where are we?' I ask as the gates open and Taylor starts to drive again.

'This is my new house.' He says quietly.

'Wow, it's beautiful.' I say. 'Can we have lunch down by the water?'

'Yes.' He says. Taylor hands us the bags from the deli. We walk in silence across the grass and sit down by the shore.

'Christian, please talk to me.' I say.

'I'm shocked. I don't know what to say. It's a long way.' He says.

'You have a jet, you can come and see me.' I say. 'I'll be back in the holidays.'

'Hannah?' he asks.

'I haven't told anyone else yet. I'll speak to her whilst we're away. What are you thinking?' I ask.

'I'm gutted that you're thinking of going so far away.' He says. 'What did mom say?'

'She encouraged me to get more details to apply.'

'Wow, I didn't think she would. I thought she was happy for you to go to Pullman because you'd be close. I thought I'd still see you almost every weekend.'

'You'll cope.' I say.

'It will be hard knowing you're not just a drive away.' He mutters.

'How do you think I felt when you went to Harvard? I was nine and I was heartbroken. I used to sleep in your room thinking it would bring you back quicker.'

'I'm sorry, I didn't realise. I was pretty much wrapped up in something else then.'

'Or someone else. Were you having the affair then?'

'Matt' he says shocked.

'Sorry, it's just you went to Harvard and now I'm thinking and that's only thinking about going to Cambridge and you sulk and strop with me. I want you to be happy that I'm thinking about taking such a big huge leap in my life. I can only do this knowing that everyone is happy and behind me.'

'I am happy, I was just a little shocked that's all. It will be good for you. I thought mom would be heartbroken.' He says passing me a peppered turkey sub.

'No, she was good. Maybe anywhere else she might have been. I didn't know until she said last night that it was where my mommy went. She said that they were inseparable but she coped and they had to write to each other then and couldn't afford the airfare to visit. At least I can phone every day and jump on a plane if I need to.' I say as I eat.

'What did your mommy study?' he asks.

'I don't know, mom didn't say. Maybe she won't until I've made my mind up. I don't even know what she did at work, I know she had an office in the city that I went to occasionally but I don't know what she did. Do you?' I ask him.

'Yes.' He says. I look at him. 'Do you want me to tell you?'

'Yes.' I whisper.

'She was the editor for some big woman's magazine. She also wrote books, I think she had a few published.' He says. I sit and stare at the water. 'Matt, please say something. I shouldn't have told you.'

'I'd rather know. She must have been clever.' I say.

'Extremely.' He says. 'Like you are.'

'I don't see myself as clever.' I mutter.

'Matt, you're off the scale. You always have been.'

'I only wanted to be like you, that's why I worked hard.' I say.

'I know and I'm honoured you worked so hard just to be like me.' He says.

'I'm scared about seeing Dr Flynn this afternoon.' I say changing the subject.

'Why, just talk to him like we're talking now. Sometime he listens, sometimes he give his thoughts. If you happen to be stuck for words he'll just ask some questions. Matt, I go and talk to him lots.'

'Really, but your life is perfect.' I say.

'That's how it might look to you but I've had all sorts of issues. Flynn is just someone I can talk to, shout at and even joke with. Just give it a try. If you don't like him or even don't like talking with someone outside the family then that's fine but just give it a go today.'

'OK.' I mutter. 'I had a think about singing at the wedding and the music. I thought I could play some background music while everyone takes their seats. You and Elliot will be stood waiting for Ana and it means I can keep out of everyone's way. Then I could sing and play later after the speeches. Maybe for your first dance.'

'That sounds good. Are you sure?'

'Yes, will you check with Ana? I want her to be happy.'

'Yes, I'll ask her tonight. Have you finished your lunch?' he asks. I nod. 'Do you want a quick tour of the house? Though it won't stay like this, Elliot is going to make lots of changes, we're just waiting for the plans.'

'Sure, let's go.' I say. 'Thanks for lunch. I know Hannah said I manipulated you into it but I wanted to see you on your own after this weekend.'

'No worries. Come on, then we'll drop you at Flynns.' He says. 'When you get back from Hawaii maybe I'll take an afternoon off before the wedding so we can go for a sail with Elliot and dad.'

'That would be good.' I say.

'On the 'Grace'' he says before striding towards the house. Oh wow, he's shocked me now.