Huge thanks to those faithful few that still review and PM me. Your words still inspire me to write so I am very grateful. Best Wishes Mx

On leaving Dr Flynn's I stand on the sidewalk wondering what to do. There's no one here to collect me and drive me home, which I'm sure is an oversight on Christians part. I can't drive yet either. I grin to myself and start to walk. I call in at the bookstore and buy a notebook that I can use as a diary, and a couple of books to take away with me. At the jewellers I enter to purchase something for Hannah. I then go to the game store and buy a game for the Xbox. It feels so good to be out doing something. Finally I go to the coffee shop that's opposite Dr Flynn's where Christian dropped me off over two hours ago. I order my coffee and muffin and go and sit by the window. My phone rings and I know it will be Christian, shit I feel guilty and I haven't even spoken to him.

'Hi Christian.' I say trying to sound cheerful but wondering what I'm going to tell him.

'Hi Matt. How was it with Flynn?' he asks.

'Good.'

'You don't want to talk about it.' He says.

'No. I'm good, it was good and that's all I want to say. Do you mind me not talking about it?' I ask.

'No not at all, I'll respect your privacy but I just wanted to make sure you're OK.' He says gently.

'Thank you.' I say.

'What are you doing now?' he asks. Shit, what do I say? He'll go thermonuclear on me if I tell him that I've been shopping especially as I have no security.

'I'm sat in the coffee shop opposite Dr Flynn's thinking how I'm going to get home.' I mutter.

'Oh fuck Matt, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about getting you home. I'll send Taylor to collect you now. You should have called.' He says.

'Christian, you've got a busy day with back to back meetings and you already took time out to meet me for lunch. If I could drive it wouldn't be a problem.' I say.

'No, it's too early. Maybe when you get back from Hawaii, especially if you haven't had any blackouts or dizziness. I don't want anything happening when you're behind the wheel.' He says.

'Over protective.' I mutter.

'I don't care. Please Matt, humour me on this one. Taylor will be with you in ten minutes and will take you back to Bellevue.' He says. 'Andrea, I'll be five minutes, they'll just have to wait, if it's a problem I'll cancel and they can see me in two weeks, it's up to them. Matt, are you still there?'

'Yes, I'd better let you go. You're busy.' I say.

'Hey, I'm not too busy to speak to you little bro. I just want you to be safe and not take any risks.' He says. I gulp, I feel guilty. 'Matt, what is it?' he asks. How does he know?

'Please don't get cross.' I whisper.

'Matt, tell me.' He demands.

'Before I came into the coffee shop, I went to the bookstore next door.' I say quietly. I hear him suck in his breath. 'Please just shout at me now and get it over with.' He sighs but doesn't say anything. 'I'm sorry I went shopping without security, I'm sorry that I didn't call straight away and I'm sorry that I've told you but you have this way of making me feel guilty into telling you stuff.'

'I'm not angry with you.' He says quietly.

'You're not, I thought you would be.' I say surprised.

'Matt, I can only do so much to protect you but ultimately your safety has to come down to you. If you felt it was safe to go shopping on your own then I trust that it was. Just be careful and be vigilant at all times.' He says. 'I'm going to call dad now because he really needs to speak to you about your security before you go away. You might understand then why we're all so over protective of you.'

'Is it something bad?' I ask.

'No, not at all. You just need to be careful, especially where the press are concerned. Is Taylor not with you yet?' he asks.

'No. I can't see the SUV.' I say. 'Christian, you'd better go to your meeting.'

'No, they can wait. I won't be able to concentrate until I know you're safely on your way home.' He says.

'I can text you.' I mutter. 'Actually he's here now, OK I'm walking out of the coffee shop and I'm climbing into the back of the SUV. Are you happy now Christian?'

'Extremely, especially as you're so damn cheeky. I like it that you're getting better and you're starting to be your normal self.' He says.

'I like that I am feeling better because I can't wait to work out with you.' I say grinning. 'The first time will be great because I know you'll be extra cautious and I'll be able to thrash you.'

'Don't count on it, I owe you one. People have looked at me today wondering whether to ask how I got a black eye. It's quite funny actually when they look away and then turn back to stare and I know they want to ask how I got it.' He says amused.

'You haven't told them.' I say.

'No, how embarrassing would that be to say my little bro thumped me. I'll bide my time until you're fit enough to kick box.' He says and I can tell he's grinning.

'Don't you have work to do?'

'Yes, but I need to call dad first. Work can wait, this is too important.' He says.

'I know you said it wasn't bad but I'm worrying now.' I say.

'Don't…'

'Fuck, fuck, fuck. Taylor'

'Matt, what's the matter?' Christian asks concerned.

'I wasn't concentrating because I was talking to you and Taylor has just started to cross the floating bridge. Fuck Christian, I'm scared. Last night it was dark and I couldn't see anything. Shit, it's too late to turn back. Did you tell him that I went over it last night?' I say and breathe deeply closing my eyes.

'I'm sorry Matt, I told him that you'd been across and was OK and that you would need to do it again soon to get over your fear. I didn't expect him to just take you across. I'll have his fucking balls on a platter for this. Matt, are you ok?' he asks gently.

'Yes.' I whisper. 'I I I have my eyes closed.'

'Oh Matt.'

'I'm OK, I'm not as tense as last night. Just keep talking to me, please Christian.' I say quietly.

'I wish I could be there with you right now.' He says.

'You are, you're on the phone with me.'

'Matt, can you open your eyes and tell me where you are, have you got to the half way check point?' he asks.

'No, not yet. I can see it though. We're nearly there. I can see Bellevue in the distance.' I mutter.

'That's good, keep breathing and talk to me. You're doing great.'

'I'm not, I'm an emotional wreck that's trying hard to keep it together. I don't think Taylor can hear me, he's got earphones in.' I say leaning forward.

'Fuck, what's he playing at?'

'Christian, I don't want you to panic but I don't think the guy driving your SUV is Taylor.' I whisper.

'Matt…..'

'He looks similar to him though. I'm sorry, I just climbed in the back, it is definitely your SUV.' I say.

'How do you know?' he asks, 'It could be one that's similar.'

'I just know.' I say looking up towards the roof and smiling.

'Taylor is following you, I've traced his phone. You must have one of the new security. Tell me how you know it's my car.' He says. I squirm.

'You know how I'm always late for everything.'

'Yes.' He says patiently.

'And you know we had crazy hair day at school.'

'Yes.' He says again.

'Well, Taylor was picking me up that day and I'd sprayed my hair red and then climbed in quickly and accidently brushed the roof with my head and there's a very red faint mark where my hair touched because it was still wet.' I say. 'Sorry.'

'I never noticed.' He says.

'I know, it was a few weeks ago. I wasn't going to tell you.' I say before adding. 'We're almost there and I'm feeling OK.'

'Are you trying to distract me?' he asks.

'Yes. Is it working?' I ask.

'No, I'm mad that you've left a mark on my car. I'll have to assess how bad it is then I can decide as to what your punishment should be.' He says.

'Christian, I'm an adult now. You can't dish out punishments to me like you used to when I was small. I think I've only just stopped having nightmares about some of them.'

'Which ones?' he asks.

'When you and Elliot tied me to a tree and left me, locking me out of the house when I only had my boxers on, that other time you both tied me to the fence near the boathouse and hosed me down with cold water. Jeez you were cruel at times.'

'You probably deserved it, you were an annoying brat sometimes.' He says.

'And I thought you loved me.'

'I do and I always will.' He says.

'I know, likewise. That's the second time I've been called a brat today though.' I say quietly.

'You're not really, you must have done something to upset me and Elliot for us to punish you but I can't remember what.' He says. I sit quietly, I can remember but I won't remind him. 'Mom always told us off if we punished you and she caught us so we learnt to do it whilst she was working, dad never got involved because he would say we needed to sort whatever the problem was between us as long as we didn't take it too far. You never told on us though, you always just took what we did to you and then went away to hide and think for a while. Hey you've gone quiet, what's the matter?'

'Nothing. We're just exiting the bridge, I'll let you get back to work. Thanks for talking me over it. I'll speak to you soon.' I say and click the phone off. It buzzes almost immediately and I know it will be from Christian. I click on it to read.

'Matt. Did I upset you? I'm sorry if I did. Please text me back to let me know you're OK.' I sigh as I read it and then click the phone off before absent mindedly putting it in the side pocket. The driver whoever he is pulls into the drive and as he stops I climb out grabbing my shopping bags. Taylor jumps out of the car that has been following.

'Matthew, are you OK? I tried to phone you to warn you but couldn't get through.' Taylor asks.

'Taylor I'm fine. I was on the phone to Christian and didn't realise until it was too late to turn back. I didn't even realise it wasn't you driving at first, it was only because that man was wearing earphones and couldn't hear me that I took a closer look.' I say.

'Is Mr Grey angry?' he asks with a grimace.

'No, he seemed quite calm. He spoke to me all the way across to keep me occupied.' I say.

Taylor goes to the car and opens the driver's door. 'What the fuck were you playing at? I told you not to go over the floating bridge and then you had the earphones on and wouldn't pick up the phone. You're fired.' Shit, I don't want to witness this.

'Taylor, thanks for everything. I'll catch you soon.' I mutter and head for the house. I unlock the front door and enter. The house is in silence and there's no-one home. Wow, it's the first time I've been left properly on my own since the operation. My family seem to be forgetting about me today. I'm exhausted but feel I should make the most of having the time to myself. I dump my shopping on the kitchen side and grab the keys to next door and head outside to go through the gate in the wall. I then make my way up towards the patio and decking. I breathe deeply before unlocking the patio doors and enter. It's the first time I've been here on my own. I head straight to the piano and carefully lift the lid before I sit and play. Oh, this feels so familiar. I have tears running down my cheeks as I play and remember the times I sat next to daddy as he patiently taught me the notes and the first tunes when I was small. I'm not sure how long I've played for but sleep calls. I gently close the lid and then I head upstairs and fall asleep in my old bedroom.