'Mom, do you mind if I just text Christian before we talk, I said I'd keep in touch.' I say to her as we enter the kitchen.

'Go ahead darling, I'll be in the family room.' Mom says. I pick my phone up off the kitchen side where Christian must have left it earlier.

'I've spoken to Hannah, all is OK between us.' I send the text and then look at Hannah. 'Come here baby, I need a hug.' I say.

'You're getting bossy.' Hannah says grinning at me as she approaches. I pull her into my arms and hug her.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be.' I say as I kiss the top of her head.

'I love you bossy.' She says pulling away slightly and looking up at me with a big grin on her face.

'Hmm, I better practise some more then.' I say with a smirk. 'I love you baby. Are you sleeping in my room tonight?'

'Why wouldn't I be?' she asks.

'School night.' I say and smile.

'It's the holidays.' She says.

'I know, but I didn't want to just assume that you would sleep beside me.' I say.

'Do you want me to?' she asks.

'Yes, of course. I sleep better when you are next to me.' I say and kiss her cheek.

'I will…' she starts before being interrupted by Mia.

'Hannah, come with me, I want you to check out what I'm taking tomorrow.' Mia says excitedly as she comes into the kitchen. Hannah looks at me as if to ask my permission.

'Go, I'll come and find you when I've finished with mom.' I say smiling at her, we hug once more before my sister drags her away.

My phone beeps and it's Christian. 'Good, will tell Ana now.' I smile, short but to the point as usual with my brother. Putting the phone in my pocket I wander to the family room, mom is sat on one of the huge comfortable sofas looking through a photo album.

'How are you feeling now darling?' mom asks.

'I'm good mom.' I say sitting down next to her. 'It wasn't that bad this time. How long will this last?'

'I don't know, you didn't have one yesterday and you rested lots. Saturday you hardly slept and you were ill later in the evening. I think you're just trying to do too much and so later in the day your body is exhausted. Remember while you're away to get plenty of rest, you should be OK then, Please will you tell Dr Richards though if you feel the slightest bit ill. Hannah is right, you shouldn't hide it. I know you don't want the fuss but surely it's better for us to be careful the next few weeks than you end up back in hospital.'

'Mom, I don't want to go back to hospital. I really didn't like it in there. You know you said you didn't want to go through anything like that again….'

'Darling please, it was one of the worst things that has ever happened in my life. We thought we'd lost you at one point, I could only stand and watch as the other doctors battled to save you. This is why we're making sure there's someone with you at all times at the moment. '

'Oh.' Is all I can say. I move closer to mom and put my arm round her. 'I'll rest lots and promise to tell someone if I feel ill. How come I was left alone this afternoon?'

'An oversight. You should have had some security with you but after the floating bridge incident you must have come in here and gone straight next door before Taylor could make sure someone was home with you. Christian called me and fortunately Sawyer was driving us back and we were only five minutes away. I knew you wouldn't have gone far and with everything you're dealing with at the moment I thought you could do with some privacy. I thought I heard the piano.'

'I played daddy's. Mom, it felt different playing that piano than any other that I've played before. Once I finished I just automatically climbed the stairs to my room, it felt like the most natural thing to do. Does that sound strange?'

'No, not at all. You were obviously comfortable being there once you'd played the piano. Were you careful?' she asks.

'Yes mom, and that's what Christian asked me. I seemed to have more respect for that one, more so than any other. After I played I was very relaxed.' I say.

'Oh darling, I'm so pleased. I've always hoped that one day you'd feel happy being in that house again and even contemplate living there.' she says gently. 'How did Hannah take all your news?'

'Mostly OK, she was upset when I told her about going to England to study.'

'That's understandable.'

'I think she thought I was leaving her. I reassured her I wasn't.' I say. 'Mom, when I'm done with university I want to settle back here and yes probably next door. Even after Elliot's story about how naughty I was when I was tiny Hannah says she wants to have a family.'

'And you?'

'The thought doesn't horrify me so eventually yes I think so.' I say and then smile at mom. 'Would you like to be a grandparent?'

Eventually, yes.' She says and her eyes are shining. 'So, you want to know more about your mommy.'

'Yes.' I whisper.

'She was the nicest person you could ever meet, my best friend since we were seven years old. We never had an argument and we lived just down the road from each other so we walked to and from school together and played at each others houses. The first time we were apart was when your mommy went to Cambridge and I went to Yale. When dad and I moved back to Seattle with Elliot and Christian your mommy and daddy decided they would move here as well. Christian had a tough early few years and he was very wary of people, even dad and I but with your daddy he just seemed to have some connection. If he was frustrated being in this house with us and Elliot and Mia he would often make his way next door to have the calm and quiet with your mommy and daddy. Your mommy spoilt all three of them, she thought she would never have children as she had four miscarriages before you. When you were two your mommy's parents your grandparents died within a few months of each other. Your mommy was pregnant again at the time and when her mom died after her dad she went into labour eight weeks early but the baby only survived a few hours. She had another two miscarriages after that. Matt darling you were very precious to your parents, they loved you very much.' She says gently. I gulp.

'Was the baby a boy or girl?' I ask.

'A girl, you had a baby sister. Emily Grace. She would have been sixteen in just less than three weeks. Oh.' Mom says and then goes quiet.

'What's wrong mom?' I ask.

'Nothing, just the date.' She murmurs.

'Mom, how come I can't remember any of this?' I say.

'Because you were only small darling, you'd only just turned two when this happened.'

'But that means the others know and they have never mentioned anything.' I say.

'Darling, they never talked much about the time before you came to live with us. I think they wanted to forget as well, it's only now as you are asking more questions that they are happier to talk about things.' Mom says gently. 'Dad has told you that your daddy was in the papers a lot, he was very well known, a bit like Christian is now but on a much bigger scale. Your mommy was quite well known in her own right as well. She had many books published and she was the editor of a woman's magazine.'

'How did she manage that with me to look after? Did I have a nanny?' I ask.

'No, she worked from home quite a lot so that she could be there for you. She went into the office a couple of days a week and either took you with her or your daddy had time off or you went to work with him. If I was off then you would come here. Your mommy wouldn't leave you with anyone else and I don't think you would have stayed anywhere else. She tried to get you to go to a private school when you were three because you were very clever even then, you went to look round with her but you refused to go saying you'd rather be at home with her.'

'Her books.' I say.

'They're all on the shelf in her office next door. She wrote under her maiden name. Sue Knight.' Mom says. My breath catches and I think I'm going to pass out. 'What's the matter darling?'

'We studied one of her books in literature last year.' I say quietly.

'Which one and what did you think?' mom asks.

'The Challenge.' I say 'Have you read that one?'

'Darling, I read them all before they went to print and then when they were published. So what did you think of it?' mom asks.

'Well I enjoyed it but when we discussed it with the teacher everyone seemed to interpret it differently to me. The teacher was trying to get us to see how the two main characters were caught up in the wrong gang but I couldn't interpret it like that. I think she thought I was being awkward because no-one else questioned her and they just agreed with her point of view. I thought the characters played a very clever game and managed to disguise the fact that they could weave their way in and out of the wrong gang and the right side of the law. The teacher said that I had to re-read it because I seemed to have difficulty understanding it.'

'And did you?'

'Yes, and still I couldn't see her point of view. It only re-enforced what I thought about it the first time. I ended up getting frustrated.' I say. 'When we had to do a test on it I pretended I was ill once I read the questions because I think I would have failed and I didn't want you and dad to be disappointed in me.'

'Oh Matt, we wouldn't have been. You're so good at everything. But back to the book, you interpreted it the right way. Your teacher was wrong. Have you read any of her other books?' mom asks.

'No. I might take them away with me.' I say.

'You don't need to. They are on the bookshelf there already.' Mom says smiling at me. 'You should enjoy them all if you enjoyed 'The Challenge'. Let me know what you think when you have read them.'

'OK mom. What else can you tell me?' I ask.

'Well apart from loving you lots, your mommy and daddy loved each other very much. Your daddy was a good cook and he loved baking. Your mommy was also good at drawing, there will also be a number of children's books on the shelf that she wrote and illustrated. I know you're too old for them now but please read them.' Mom says, she has tears in her eyes.

'I will. Mom if you want to stop it's OK.' I say.

'No I'll be OK. She wrote those books for you and Emily.' Mom says and the tears are now rolling down her cheeks. I take her in my arms and hug her. When she's ready she pulls away slightly. 'I'm so sorry darling. I still miss her so much every day.'

'I get upset because everyone knew them for longer than I did and I can't even remember much about them.' I say quietly.

'Small memories will come back darling, especially now you're going next door and seem happy to be there. You were a right little charmer when you were small. You used to call me Gracie and dad was Wick because you couldn't pronounce his name and then Wick just stuck. If Christian or Elliot did something wrong and I got cross you always used to come and hug me and say 'Please not get cross Gracie, I love you.' or something similar and my heart would just melt. You were always up to something mischievous but you never liked being told off, you used to go very quiet and would sit in your own little world. You certainly kept everyone on their toes with your antics.'

'I think I sound like a nightmare child.'

'No darling, not at all. You always made everyone smile. What else do you want to know about your mommy?' she asks.

'What was her favourite color, food, drink, that sort of thing?' I say.

'Blue, lasagne, fresh orange juice. She also liked shortbread and cake your daddy made. Her favourite fruit was strawberries and vegetable broccoli. She loved sitting in the swing seat by the shore if the weather was good. She dressed up if she was going to a function but otherwise just wore jeans and a shirt all the time.'

'What did she study at Cambridge?' I ask.

'English. She absolutely loved it there. I think we were both worried when we were going to be so far apart but I think it brought us closer together. We kept in contact through letters and the occasional phone call. She met your daddy and I met dad and then the two men became friends. Have you decided what you want to study?'

'No, I'm more passionate about the music at the moment but I want to research the courses thoroughly first. How did mommy and daddy meet?' I ask.

'Can I tell you that another day? I want you to research the courses first and when you have decided I will tell you.'

'OK, but why the mystery?'

'Please be patient and I'll explain all when you've decided what you want to do and don't sulk because I won't tell you.' She says smiling at me. I frown at her. 'I know you so well and you would.'

'I like to know things.' I mutter.

'I know you do. Ok here's some more information. Your daddy's favourite color was also blue, I don't think he had a favourite food he just ate anything that was put in front of him. He liked to drink tea or beer in the evening with dad. He loved sailing and flying, especially his helicopter.'

'Are you trying to distract me?' I mutter.

'Yes, is it working?' mom asks with a smile.

'Sort of.' I say.

'Darling, you know you can talk to me anytime you want to know more about them and I will do my best to answer.' Mom says.

'Thanks mom. I think I might take Hannah inside the house next door tomorrow morning. I want to see what she thinks of it.' I say. 'Is that OK?'

'Matt darling, it's your house. You can take whoever you like there, but I think it's a good idea. It will give her some idea what it's like and you can talk about it whilst you're away and see if she'd be happy living there eventually.' Mom says.

'Mom, dad told me I have a grandmother, an uncle and some cousins.' I say hoping she'll give me some more information on them.

'Yes you have. Did dad tell you about the fraud with the property business your dad and uncle shared?' mom asks.

'He just mentioned it but didn't go into detail. He said daddy cut all ties as he couldn't trust them and that they couldn't contact me.' I say and mom nods. 'Did you meet them?'

'Yes, on quite a few occasions. Your grandmother is quite old and frail now. Although the family can't contact you we have updated her regularly on how you are doing.' Mom says.

'Mom, I think I'd like to meet her.' I whisper. 'But I won't if you think I shouldn't, you would know whether or not daddy would have let me.'

'I think your daddy would have probably made things up with her and seen her. I'm not sure about your Uncle Nick.' Mom says gently. 'Why don't you go and visit before you go back to school? I could speak to her and make arrangements. You could also visit Cambridge and see if you like the place.'

'Can I sleep on it mom? I need some time to think a bit more about it. Everything is changing so quickly, I not as scared as I thought I would be but I don't want to rush into anything.' I say.

'Take all the time you need darling boy. I'll be here when you're ready and if you need help you only have to ask.' Mom says gently.

'OK mom, thanks. I'm going to find Hannah now. Mia dragged her away to look at the clothes she was taking. Are you working tomorrow?' I ask.

'I'm on the late shift. I'll be leaving here about one, probably about the same time as you. Will you text me when you arrive, just so I know you got there safely. I won't lecture you on security, I'm sure dad and Christian have done that already.' She says.

'They weren't too bad, I think they were being gentle with me. I realise now though why everyone has been so overprotective and I will be careful and make sure I have security. Christian is going to find me someone like Taylor as well.' I say.

'That would be good, you need someone close by at all times that you can trust.' Mom says gently and yawns.

'Mom, I'm keeping you up and you were at work early this morning. I'll go and sit in the garden with a beer before going to find Hannah. I'll see you in the morning.' I say and hug her. She hugs me back. 'I love you mom.'

'I love you too darling. See you in the morning. Night.' She says.

'Night mom' I say and make my way to the kitchen. Grabbing a beer from the fridge I head out to the garden and sit on the table with my feet on a chair. I sit watching the lights twinkling from the city as I swig the beer straight from the bottle. When I've finished I go back in through the kitchen. Mom is enveloped in dad's arms. She pulls away slightly and smiles at me weakly. It's obvious that she's been crying.

'Mom did I upset you?' I say, looking at her with an alarmed expression. She shakes her head but doesn't reply, tears are still in her eyes. I look at dad and he gives me a cool stare back. I gulp. Shit what have I done wrong?

'My study now! Wait for me there.' He says sternly. I look at him and then mom and then back to him. 'Now!' I put my head down and start to walk.

'Cary. What's the matter? What has he done?' I hear mom ask.

'Don't worry Grace. I'll sort this out.' dad says to her. I don't hear any more of the conversation. I enter dad's office and stand by his desk feeling awkward. I rack my brains wondering what I've done wrong but can't think of anything. I hear dad enter and he makes his way round the desk to sit down. He leaves me to stand and doesn't invite me to sit. Shit, this is bad. I feel like a small boy again.

'So you got into a brawl at a bar and Christian had to keep it out of the papers.' Dad says in a steely voice, glaring at me through narrow eyes.

'Yes' I say quietly.

'What the fuck were you thinking?' he shouts. Did dad really just ask me that? He's usually so calm and he never swears. I can count on one hand the number of times he's shouted at me. 'You can't go around losing your fucking temper because you don't like what someone has done. You've got to be so fucking careful. Shit Matt, first you thump this guy and then you do the same with Christian at the weekend, you've got to learn some fucking control because you certainly can't go behaving like this.' He continues to shout.

'Dad, you weren't there. You don't know what it was like.' I shout back and he looks shocked. 'The fucker that I punched in the bar has bullied me for years at school and was Hannah's ex, I just saw red and punched him the once. Christian had pushed me and pushed me and I'd just had enough from him.'

'Matthew.' Dad says, still shocked. 'I didn't bring you up to shout back at me.'

'Well how the fuck did you want me to behave?' I shout angrily. 'To stand here and let you fucking shout at me. Just taking whatever you've got to say so that I'm so fucking terrified of speaking. Is that what you want tonight? To get me into such a fucking state that I'll have 'no words' and can't speak to you?'

'Just go. I don't want to speak to you or see you when you're like this.' Dad shouts. I stand, staring back at him. 'Go! I don't want you here.' He shouts even louder.

'Good. Cos I don't want to be here.' I say turning and storming out of the study, slamming the door behind me for good measure. He's going to be even angrier with me now. I don't want to be here in this house. I see mom coming down the stairs. 'I'm sorry mom, I can't stay here.' I say and head to the kitchen, grabbing my keys off the side.

'Matt darling' I hear mom call, as I'm heading out of the door.

'Leave him Grace.' Dad says as I enter the back yard and breathe in the cool evening air. I make my way through the gate and lock it behind me and then slowly walk up the garden and enter the house. Climbing the stairs I head for the sanctuary of my old bedroom again and I go and sit on the floor at the end of the bed.

Pulling the phone from my pocket I text Hannah. 'Baby, please don't worry. I'm angry with dad and need to calm down. Go to bed and I'll see you soon. Love always Mx'

Next I text Christian. 'Really messed up big time. I don't know how I'm ever going to make this right. Please call me when you can, whatever time it is. I need help.' I hit send and a few minutes later my phone buzzes. I answer immediately.

'Christian.' I say quietly.

'Hey little bro, what's the matter?' he says gently.

'Christian.' I say again almost choking with a sob. 'I shouted at dad in his study. We had a big argument. I was angry and shouted at him and he said he didn't want to speak to me or see me. He said he didn't want me.'

'Shit Matt. You really shouted at dad.' Christian says and I can hear the astonishment in his voice.

'Yes and I swore a lot.' I mutter.

'You stood up to him.' He says.

'Yes. What am I going to do? I can't go back home. He doesn't want me there.' I say.

'Where are you?' he asks in alarm.

'Next door. In my old bedroom.' I say.

'Good at least you haven't gone far.' He says gently. 'Matt. How are you feeling now?'

'A lot calmer.'

'Ok, are you happy in the house on your own and did you lock the doors.' He asks.

'Yes and yes.'

'Good. I'm going to call dad now. I'll use the house phone so if you need me for anything text my blackberry so I can read the message and get back to you. I'll call you as soon as I've finished with dad unless you text me because you need something.' He says gently.

'OK.' I mutter. 'I'm really tired so will just lie down and wait for you to call.'

'Are you feeling OK? Are you ill?' he asks.

'I'm fine. Just tired.' I mutter 'I'll speak to you soon.'

'Matt. I'm worried about you. You normally say at this point in the conversation how sorry you are….' He says but I interrupt him.

'Christian, I'm not sorry. He needed telling.' I say with a snort.

'Bloody hell, you are growing up at last and standing up for yourself.' He says and I can tell he's smiling.

'It's about time.' I say. I climb into bed fully dressed. 'I'm lying down now. Call dad if you think it's a good idea but I think it might be best if I just slept here tonight. You know where I am if anyone calls you because they're worried about me. Mom might be, she called after me but dad told her to leave me.'

'I don't remember me, Elliot or Mia ever shouting back at dad whenever he gave us a telling off. I bet he was shocked.' Christian says.

'He was. Can I sleep now? I'll text you when I wake up.' I say and close my eyes.

'OK, any problems phone me.' He says.

'OK' I mutter sleepily and then switch him off before falling asleep.