It's been five months since Artie and I have been together. It's been amazing. Artie's the perfect gentleman. He cares more about my feelings than his own, which I love. He doesn't pressure me into things and always lets me just vent to him. Like how I kind of miss being on Cheerios but I have too much dignity to go back to them.

Artie dropped "the L-bomb" about a month and half into our relationship and things got heated between us because I couldn't say it back. He didn't and still doesn't understand that i don't want to just throw the word around. Yes, I care about him but I don't want to say I love him unless I'm 100 percent sure I do.

Santana and I are in a good place now. It was hard being around her when Artie and I first started dating because of this whatever is/was between us. She was really distant and didn't want to hangout with me, even if Artie wasn't around. I still have all these unexplained mixed feelings about her so I feel like our little "Friendship Hiatus" was good for us. I've still only known her for like one school year but it feels like we've been doing this stupid dysfunctional friendship dance thing for years.

Mike seems to think that there's so much tension between us is because she's scared to tell me that she likes me. Which is completely idiotic, if she liked me, she would've just told me. She's always been super open and non-secretive with Puck so why would I be any different?

It's two weeks until the end of the school year and since Artie's mom won cruise tickets to the Bahamas from some radio show, he won't be in town for almost all of July. That means Santana finally might want to hangout without feeling like a "girlfriend stealer". (Her words not mine).

Anyway, that's pretty much everything that's been going on lately.

I sighed as I closed my journal and placed it back in it's secret spot underneath my night stand.

It feels like the school year just flew by. As I packed my final things and closed my locker, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder.

"Hi, how'd your exams go?" Santana asked in her trying too hard to be pleasant voice.

"They were super hard." I replied as I pulled her arm away from me, "I mean, since Artie has all his finals tomorrow he had to study all last night, I didn't have anyone to help me." I continued walking after noticing that she stopped moving.

"Why didn't you just ask me? You know I was exempt from all of mine, I would've gladly helped you study Britt," she stated.

"Really? Gladly? Because over the last four months, all I've wanted is for us to be normal and hangout like normal but you ignore my texts and calls. So yeah, that's why I didn't ask you, because I thought you'd just ignore me." I explained while wondering what even is normal for us.

"Good point, I've been unfair and I know my reason doesn't make sense to you, but," she grabbed my hand in hers, "but, I'm over it, you're like the second coolest person at this school, right behind me of course, I'd be crazy not to hangout with you if I got the chance."

"Well you did get the chance, and you rejected it." I interrupted. Santana smiled at me after I said that, I don't really know why she's smiling but I couldn't help but smile back. "Stop smiling at me? It's super unfair and I'm trying to be serious right now!" I sighed.

"Okay, well I'm serious too, I'm sorry for not paying attention to you and being a horrible best friend. Dead ass." I laughed, saying 'dead ass' when we're serious has sort of become mine and Santana's thing, it's short for 'dead ass serious' and it makes both of us giggle because of how dumb the phrase is. That's the thing though, I know Santana wants to be serious and she wants to mean what she says, because she needs me to believe her, so that she can believe herself. The only problem is when she says things like 'dead ass' and then smiles, I truly don't know if I can believe her.

"So anyway, Can you hang out tonight? We could like rent movies and order chinese take out?" She asked hopefully while kicking the ground a little bit.

"I actually, I have plans, I told Artie I'd help him study. I looked away because I could tell how hurt she was by getting rejected. I didn't want to feel bad though, because I know exactly how she's feeling, because she does it to me all the time.

"Of course, yeah" She mumbled before turning and walking away down the hallway. I let out a huge sigh and headed to find the filmmaking classroom to meet up with Artie.

I think I've been around the school twice now in search of his stupid classroom and I have yet to come across it. Finally I heard voices, whispers actually, coming from the end of the hall. I was about to open the door to the classroom that the conversation was coming from when I realized what happened last time I opened a door without knocking. I shuddered in disgust at the idea of Santana and Puck doing it, before lightly knocking on the door.

"Ugh, If only I wasn't so famous in this town. People are always needing my attention." The first voice said, but it wasn't just any voice, I recognized it, it was Coach Sylvester. I heard a chair slide out and footsteps nearing the door as she began talking again. "Listen, J-Lo, you failed, it's the end of the year and you failed to convince Tweedle-" She paused, "You failed to convince Brittany to rejoin the Cheerios, which in turn means that you're off as well." She must've stopped walking again because the footsteps did and the door still hasn't opened.

I stretched up to see through the top window above the door and realized that she wasn't on the phone as I'd suspected, she was sitting in the classroom with Santana.

"Coach, it's not my fault. I tried to hangout with her so that we could maybe talk about cheers and how much the squad needs her back but she never agreed to hangout with me. So I couldn't." What a bunch of bullshit, not once until today did Santana initiate trying to spend time with me.

The door opened and I couldn't even move, I was just staring blankly ahead as the realization finally sank in. Santana was only being my friend all this time so that she could convince me to rejoin the team, so that she wouldn't lose her spot. Even if we never actually spent time together anymore, now it just seems like our whole friendship was a game. How Santana of her. Always playing mind games.

"Sorry Amiga, but I'm keeping my word. Don't even bother showing up to tryouts next year. Have a spectacular summer!" Coach Sylvester said sarcastically.

"Coach you know you don't have a squad without me. Hell you don't have a squad without me or Brittany, or even Quinn. So sure good luck next year." Santana replied as Sue brushed past me and left the room, leaving me standing awkwardly in the doorway.

Santana didn't look like she had any plan to justify herself, so I turned around swiftly and left her alone in the room.

"It's like I never know what's going with her." I punched the pillow again, "she seems sincere when I talk to her but I know now that she," *punch* "doesn't," *punch* "mean," *punch* "any of it," *punch, punch, punch.* I punched Artie's pillow one more time before grabbing it from him and throwing it on the floor.

"B, she's pretty much a horrible person, why do you even care about her? Just stay away from her and all your problems will be fixed." Artie tried to explain to me. For some reason, Artie saying that annoyed the living daylights out of me.

"Okay, I think I need to go. She might be confusing as hell Artie, but she's my best friend. I could never just 'stay away from her' that's wouldn't fix anything." I replied as I slung my backpack over my shoulder.

"Well okay then, yeesh." Artie said.

I kissed him on the cheek and replied, "You need to study anyway, I'll call you later."