It been a very long time since I managed to update this story. I'm so sorry about that. I only have a couple of chapters left, I'm just having a hard time with the last bit of it. Let me know what you think. Much love and I don't own Twilight.

Seth POV

It was another sunny day.

That alone made the day special. Kira and I sat outside, soaking up the sun and generally just enjoying the rare nice weather. Neither of us had plans to leave the house today, so we set up a little picnic area in the backyard.

It was perfect for what I had planned.

When I finally decided that I was ready to ask Kira to marry me, I picked up the phone and called Jasper. He was an old fashioned guy and I figured he'd be impressed that I would think to ask him for his daughter's hand before I asked her. I also needed help picking out a ring and who better to ask than her family. Besides, her family loved me. I knew they would all give their blessing.

A day after I got Jasper's permission to marry Kira, Alice and Rosalie showed up at my work, ready to go shopping. They wanted to have a ring custom made for her, but since I wasn't sure what I wanted to get her, we decided to hit every jewelry store in the area to get ideas. They kept looking at the more expensive rings, but I knew that I'd know it when I saw it, regardless of price.

About 6 hours later, I found what I was looking for. It was a nice moderate sized diamond, surrounded by square cut emeralds in a V pattern around it. It was unique, but still simple enough for a tomboy like Kira. Luckily for me, the girls agreed with me. I was even able to pay for it with my own savings, even though Alice insisted that Carlisle wouldn't mind if I charged it using 'the Card'.

The ring was safely tucked in my pocket, where it had been for two weeks now, waiting for the perfect moment. That moment had finally arrived.

Kira sighed, closing her eyes and folding her hands behind her head as she lay on her back. "What more do I need in life. The sun's out, the ground is nice and dry and you're here. This is damn near perfect."

I couldn't have set it up any better. "I can think of one thing that would make this moment more perfect."

Her interest peaked, Kira rolled towards me, opening her eyes and propping her head up on her hand.

I pulled the small box out of my pocket and opened it in front of her. "Will you marry me?"

Kira's eyes widened, sitting stunned for almost a full minute. She jumped up from her relaxed position, startling me with her swift actions. "Seth! No, no, no, no, no. You can't ask me to marry you! You don't want me as a wife. What if we have kids? You definitely won't want me raising kids if you knew..." Kira was near hyperventilating and was pacing back and forth.

"Well, that wasn't the response I was anticipating." I said quietly, closing the box and getting to my feet. "Kira, what's wrong? You're scaring me just a little. Why can't we get married?"

She continued pacing and didn't answer me. I grabbed her by the shoulders and stopped her movements. She wouldn't look at me. "Kira, for goodness sakes, talk to me. We're in this together, remember?"

After a few more moments, Kira's beautiful light blue eyes finally looked up at me. I could see genuine fear in them. It was something I had never seen before, even when we were standing face to face with the Volturi. I tear slide down her cheek and she collapsed onto her knees in front of me. I dropped down to, so I could continue looking into her eyes, but she once again had her eyes lowered.

"I'm a bad person, Seth. You deserve better. As long as we're not legally married, I can pretend life is perfect."

I reached up and wiped a tear off her cheek. "How could you say that? You are not a bad person. Kira, what's going on?" I was near panic at this point. I had never seen Kira act like this before. The strong person I knew and loved had been replaced.

"You don't know what I've done. What I'm capable of doing. You just don't understand."

I lifted Kira's head up so she was forced to look at me. "If I don't understand, then tell me. Please, babe. I love you more than my own life. Please talk to me."

Kira took a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly. She returned her eyes to the ground.

"I was 14. Dad and I were still on our own. We were still over a year from meeting Alice. I was going through a bad phase during that time. I hated everything, which isn't unusual for a teenager, but I particularly hated humans. I blamed the whole race for my parent's death and was a royal pain to live with. I honestly don't know how Jasper managed it." She paused, steadying herself. "Anyway, one night Jasper left me alone to go hunt, which he always did. He never let me go with him on his hunts. He didn't want me to witness him killing people for food."

She took another deep breath. I squeezed her hand, letting her know I was listening and was willing to wait as long as it took for her to say what needed to be said.

"After Jasper left, I started to just get madder and madder. I don't know why. I decided to shift and take a run as a tiger to help cool off. I ran for almost an hour when I came across a small park on the edge of a town. I changed back human and sat in a tree, just watching the people. I sat there for hours. Sometime in the early morning, probably 3 or 4 AM, a lone man stumbled into the park. He was probably walking home from a bar or something like that, obviously drunk. I didn't know him and he didn't know me, but for some reason, when I saw him, I saw red." Kira's eyes filled with tears. "I attacked him Seth, with no provocation or reason. I shifted into my tiger and tore him apart. I murdered him."

My mouth fell open. I didn't know what to say. Kira had always been an activist for human life, much like Carlisle. I couldn't see her killing someone, but here she was, confessing a murder to me. I sat, stunned, waiting for her to continue.

"I ran away...after. Reality kinda hit me at that point. I washed the blood off me in a stream, but I knew Jasper would be able to smell it on me anyway. He was waiting for me when I got home. At first he was concerned, thinking I had been attacked, but then he realized that none of the blood was mine. I told him everything and in over 100 years, I have never seen or felt him so angry You really don't know fear until you've had a vampire act like a traditional vampire when he's mad at you. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but still."

I thought about it and cringed. Knowing Jasper as I did, I really didn't fear him, but I could see how terrifying him could be if he was angry. Throw in his appearance with all the bite scars and there was a nightmare waiting to happen.

"He was mad at me for about three weeks. He wouldn't let me out of his sight. He even took me hunting with him. He kept me far enough away so I didn't actually witness his feeding, but close enough so he could still feel me. I had completely lost his trust. The worst part was when his anger was replaced with disappointment. For almost a year, every time he looked me, I could feel his disappointment in me. He was the only family I had and I had crushed him. After that year, his feelings changed and we went back to normal, but I can still remember how he felt. It's like getting stabbed in the heart, even today."

Kira was still crying and refused to look at me. I was stunned, not knowing quite what to say. She had murdered a man in cold blood. I thought about it. This really should bother me, but I was surprised to realize that it didn't. "Kira, baby, this happened almost 100 years ago. You were a kid, a frightened, confused kid who was dealing with the memory of having your parents murdered. You haven't killed anyone since then, have you?"

"No, but one is one too many. I'm a monster." Kira whispered.

"You are not a monster!" I objected violently, making Kira jump. "You are a caring, gentle person. You are my best friend and I want you to be my wife. I don't care what happened when you were a kid. Look at your family. Do you think any of them are bad people? You may not have been punished by the law for your crime, but the suffering you went through with Jasper and are still going through today are punishment enough for a century old mistake." I tilted her head up, so I was looking in her eyes. "And that is what it was, a mistake. I happen to believe, very passionately, that you would make an outstanding mother and everyone who knows you, really knows you, would agree with me!"

Kira wrapped me into a hug and I returned it wholeheartedly. "I'm lucky to have you."

I chuckled. "We're both lucky. Now, I'm gonna ask again and I really hope you have the answer I'm looking for. Kira, will you marry me?"

She pulled away from my, but remained in my arms. "Yes."

I pulled her back into the hug and kissed her softly. She was crying again, but I was fairly sure these were tears of joy.

"Now, was that so hard?" I joked. Fortunately, Kira laughed too, signaling the worst was over.

"How is the pack going to react? It's not like you can keep it from them." She asked timidly. It was most unlike her to be timid. She really did care how the guys would take the news.

"They'll deal. If they can't deal, I'll make them deal. I'm bigger than most of them now and I'm not a kid anymore. It won't come to a fight, though. Sam will side with me."

Kira gave me a disbelieving look. "Are you so sure?"

"He once plotted to kill Bella. He knows Alphas can make mistakes, just like anyone else. Trust me, he'll be ok with this."

She still looked skeptical, but nodded in agreement anyway.

"So cheer up!" I started to head back to the house, pulling her along with me. "I've had that ring for weeks, waiting for the right time to ask you. Your family already knows my intentions, but mine doesn't and I've been itching to tell them."

Kira laughed as she let me drag her back into the house. "You are the most perpetually happy person I know. It's annoying." She joked.

"Yes, but you love me anyway."

She nodded, turning serious. "Yes, I do."

The phrase 'but you love me anyway' now had a far deeper meaning for us.

To be Continued...

There you go...what do you think. The shit is going to hit the fan in the next chapter. Hopefully, it won't take me months to write it. Thanks for reading!