"Just…tell me what you what Regina…" the plea was there, it burnt through her heart as her head thudded against the wooden door of her bathroom.

What I want? "Everything," she let out a laboured exhale allowing tears to trail down sallow cheeks, "I want everything Emma."

"Could you be a little more specific?" laughter danced softly through the cracks in the doorway, seeping into the cracks in her heart as they always seemed to whenever they were close enough.

Her legs were splayed out before her, her backside becoming numb from remaining on the cold tiles for so long but she didn't move, she couldn't, not anymore.

"I want…I want my son to love me back, I want to be the first person he thinks to tell when something happens at school. I want to take him for his favourite ice cream, to dab it on the end of the nose and see his supressed smirk at being bested by his mother.

I want to tell him the stupid joke that his other stupid mother told me just to hear him laugh when I can't tell it properly, I want to take him to the beach and throw him in the freezing cold water just to hear him squeal when the waves get him.

I want to go sick with worry when he goes out on his first date with a girl; I want to ground him for breaking curfew just for one more kiss from her, one more smile her way. I want to fuss and take photographs of him looking dapper in his prom tuxedo; I want to cry when he graduates from college and moves out to start his life without us.

I want to fight with you about how to redecorate his room before we realize that we can't bring ourselves to do that. I want to embarrass him by showing his new girlfriend pictures of when he was little; I want to fight over what he names his first child!"

Emma's sobs were coming thick and fast now as she listened to her wife's heart breaking to whatever higher power there was in this world, each word was like a knife in her chest but she couldn't stop her from expressing the exact same thing she herself was feeling.

"I want to tell him how proud we are of what he has done with his life, of how well he has lived it but I can't Emma! I'll never get to do any of that because he's…he's…" she clawed at the ground as hacking sobs broke through every attempt for air. She felt warm arms encompass her from behind but couldn't breathe. "How can I do any of the things a mother is supposed to do when I don't have a child?!"

She had no words of comfort, none of hope…all she had were the arms in which she held her wife and the matching pain in her heart that only a parent without a child could feel. She wasn't sure how long it had been but slowly they both seemed to have ended up facing each other on the bathroom floor. Tears still flowed down their faces but silently now as their bodies convulsed every now and again from the sorrow they had started drowning in ever since their return from Neverland.

The lines etched into Regina's forehead told of the worry and trials they had gone through whilst searching for their boy, the crinkles around Emma's eyes indicated the grief that had smashed into them like a brick wall upon finding him at the end of the battle, his eyes open yet unseeing, his favourite scarf clutched into a bloody fist. The wound on Regina's cheekbone was from her collision with the jagged cliff face she had almost tumbled over in her delusional state after being pulled from his lifeless body.

Regina had often wondered how people went on living after they had lost a child, how they could continue breathing when their reason for air had been taken from them. She had to continue being a mother without a child and she supposed this was the ultimate price for the curse she had cast; it was her fault Henry was gone, her fault he died and she just couldn't allow that thought to go from her mind no matter how hard Emma tried to convince her otherwise. She just couldn't do it anymore, it hurt too much.

"So how's she doing?" Snow asked her daughter upon a visitation to the Swan-Mills residence, things had been difficult upon escaping Neverland, especially after what had happened. Emma looked exhausted and gaunt whilst Regina hadn't been seen at all.

The blonde shook her head in the negative, "she's not good at all, the dreams won't stop. I can't remember the last time I saw her smile, the last time I didn't wake up in the middle of the night to find her sobbing…I went through it too but, I just don't understand."

"Honey, she's strong but…well Regina's had a tough life, there's so much pain and guilt in her already that Pan's torture brought so much more to the surface than just the illusion of Henry's death." She felt the blonde go limp in her arms as she succumbed to her anguish once more, it had been so hard keeping strong for Regina without breaking down herself.

"It felt so real Mom," she was shaking violently in her mother's arms now as she recalled the visions that had been forced into their minds as a way of shielding their son from them. "I really thought I'd lost him."

A small hand came to rest on her shoulder pulling her away from Snow's comforting embrace, she wasn't angry however nor disappointed for she found the warm eyes of her son, the boy that against all odds they had managed to bring home. Emma gave him a small smile as her hand came up to caress his soft cheek. "She's asking for you."

Green eyes widened at his words, Regina was talking?

"She wasn't crying this morning and…she smiled at me Ma, I think she's coming back to us!" his hope was almost impossible not to catch as her heart fluttered. It had been months now of silence from the brunette, she had almost given up thinking that her Regina would ever return.

"What do you want Regina?"

"I want to wake up every morning beside you Emma and spend every day in your arms watching over our beautiful family.

I want you to be the first person I tell whenever something happens in my day, even if it's the fact that I still have yet to kill your mother." She gave a sly wink to the woman standing behind her bride, to the woman whom she had entrusted this day to, her maid of honour Snow White.

"I want to laugh off your anger, I want to kiss away your tears and fend off any fears you ever feel, I want to share in everything this world has to offer us and take my last breath beside you in bed wrapped up in one another.

I want you Emma Swan."

The room was dimly lit by the morning sun trying to break through the closed blinds as she made her way to sit on the edge of the bed beside the brunette. She was tentative and worried about scaring Regina back into apparent silence but a small finger under her lowered chin brought her watery green eyes to lock with warm brown orbs as a hand came to tangle gently in her wayward blonde curls.

"Hi baby," her voice was hoarse from lack of use but it was melodious to the blonde who simply pulled the smaller woman into her embrace.

Burying her nose within brown locks she felt at home once again, "there's my girl."