Part 1: Explaining to Emma:

Regina, Mary Margaret, David, Mulan and Tinkerbell all looked at each other with unease.

"The Quim Party," someone muttered in a hushed tone.

All at once, they avoided each other's gaze.

"The Quim Party," Tinkerbell elbowed Regina and gave her a sly smile.

Regina did not make eye contact as she smiled back discreetly.

Mulan shook her head, poured herself a shot of Scotch, and downed it in one gulp.

Mary Margaret and David still hadn't looked up.

"Okay," Emma asked loudly, "What in the hell is a Quim Party?"

"Well, you've heard of a ball, haven't you sweetheart?" David asked.

"Um… duh," Emma looked at him quizzically.

"It was like that, only different," Regina added quickly.

"Why are you all acting so funny?" Emma persisted.

"I warned you about this bunch when they start drinking," Hook whispered to Emma.

"It was your idea, Regina," Mary Margaret stated.

"Everything is always my idea, deal with it," Regina declared.

She glanced at Tinkerbell who was still grinning. "And wipe that smile off your face, Tink!"

"So, we're back to Tink now, are we," Tinkerbell winked at Regina.

"Alright, that's it!" Emma had lost her patience as she grabbed Tinkerbell by the elbow and moved her away from Regina. "Somebody better start explaining!"

"Your girlfriend here put on quite the extravaganza," Tink smirked at Regina.

"After which, she burned down the Enchanted Forest," Mulan added.

"You're engaging in hyperbole," Regina protested. "It wasn't the whole of the Enchanted Forest, just the things made of wood."

"Like the trees and the houses," Mulan continued.

"It was an unfortunate accident," Regina defended herself.

"I could give a rat's ass about the Enchanted Forest!" Emma was getting more irritated. "What in the hell is a quim?"

Silence.

Hook cleared his throat. "A little overdue with that father-daughter talk, eh David?"

"You're not helping, Killian," Mary Margaret admonished.

"Well?" Emma crossed her arms and began tapping her foot.

"It's a pussy!" Tink blurted out.

Emma's eyes grew wide as she turned to Regina.

"You had a Pussy Party?!" she was incredulous.

"And then she burned down the Enchanted Forest," Mulan informed.

"I don't seem to remember you complaining at the time, Mulan," Regina arched her eyebrows.

Mulan downed another shot before staring guiltily at the floor.

"Mom?" Henry asked.

"Yes?" both Regina and Emma replied.

"What's going on?"

"We're just getting our memories back, sweetheart," Regina offered. "We're trying to piece together what happened."

Emma rolled her eyes.

"What was in the memory drink I had? I feel kind of dizzy," he complained.

"Do you want to lie down, Henry?" Emma asked.

"I think so," he replied. "I don't understand anything that's happening anyway."

He looked at Regina. "Except, I got my Mom back."

He wrapped his arms around her.

Regina kissed the top of his head. "C'mon. Time to go to bed."

As Regina and Emma tucked Henry in, he looked up at them.

"Promise me you'll both be here tomorrow," he said.

"I promise," Regina smiled as she kissed him goodnight.

"Me too, kid," Emma squeezed his hand.

As Henry's eyes fluttered shut, Emma grasped Regina's arm and pulled her angrily back into the kitchen.

"You had a Pussy Party?" Emma was livid.

"Yep," Mulan hiccupped.

Everyone, but Mary Margaret, now had a drink in their hand.

"You weren't there," Regina protested. "It was nothing more than a series of unfortunate events, really."

"Oh please, enlighten me," Emma was sarcastic.

"We had just defeated Greenie over there," she nodded to Zelena.

"Or so you thought," Zelena interrupted.

"Shut up," Regina scowled at her before continuing. "It was time for a celebration. I invited the entire kingdom to the palace. When I sent the invitation to the engraver, my note said Queen Party. Unfortunately, something was spilled on it and he thought it said Quim Party. At least… that was his story."

"He probably knew what a sick-fuck you are and thought you did it on purpose," Tink interjected.

"So anyway," Regina shot her a look, "I thought, why not go with it? I mean, we call parties a ball, right?"

"Only you would think of something like that," David shook his head.

"Look who's talking!" Regina snapped at him. "You've always loved big balls! So, anyway, I did a theme: sea shells, oysters, pears, warm apple pie, red canna, black iris, calla lilies…"

"I get the picture," Emma's face began to flush. "Mom? Dad? You went to this party?"

"We thought it was a typo on the invitation, dear," Mary Margaret explained. "We had no idea Regina would deck the palace out with erotic statues, flowers, food and a body temperature, room-sized pool!"

"Where was I? Why wasn't I invited to this party?" Hook questioned anxiously.

"I guess someone spiked the drinks with a love potion or something," David ignored him.

"Not someone," Tink interrupted, "It was your true love, Robin Hood, and his pervert Merry Men!"

"Oh God," Emma put her hand to her head.

"You saw this, Tink?!" Regina asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was having a good time," she gave Regina a wanton look.

"You better watch yourself," Emma warned.

"The pool…" Tink was undeterred as she sighed. "The pool was the best, remember Regina? Remember, Mulan?"

Mulan laid her head in her hand as she grimaced. Emma was apoplectic.

"Tinkerbell and Mulan? Anyone else?"

"Oh, she was doing it with everyone," Tink began.

"Shut up, Tink," Regina flashed at her as she nodded towards Emma.

"All the princesses, the royal huntsman, the royal guard, the serving girls," Tinkerbell continued, "and didn't you have a sex sandwich with your true love, Robin, and Granny?"

"I deny that allegation and stop calling him that! He is not my true love. Don't believe it, Emma! Besides, he was going at it with his Merry Men!"

"No, honey. That was Will Scarlett, I remember," Tink informed.

"And I wasn't invited because…?" Hook looked crushed.

"Anyway, Regina," Tink went on, "you fucked every prince in the palace. I mean, except for David. He was getting busy with his wife."

"I can't hear anymore," Emma sat down on a counter stool.

"It's not like it sounds," David put his hand on her shoulder.

"Really?" Emma stared at him disbelievingly. "Because it sounds like my parents had sex in a pool in front of the entire town!"

"It was warm and buoyant," Mary Margaret offered apologetically.

"I did not have sex with all those people," Regina insisted adamantly. "It was more of a communal grope thing…" her voice trailed off.

"Oh, well that makes it better," Emma rolled her eyes.

"You had sex with me," Mulan shook her head as she raised her glass.

"Yes, well… look at you dear," Regina conceded. "One can hardly blame me for that."

"OMG," Mulan groaned, "I was saving myself for…"

"And then Regina let the dragon out," Tink rambled on, "who scorched the entire forest!"

"In my defense, I just wanted to warm the hot baths outside," Regina offered.

"I guess that's when Greenie over there escaped," Tink nodded towards Zelena.

"I resent that nomenclature!" Zelena huffed.

"So why the memory spell, anyway?" Regina questioned her.

"You had me locked in your dungeon with a raging orgy going on and a magical view screen so I would have to watch the whole damn thing! Who in their right mind would want to remember that? You should be thanking me! I only wish my spell had worked on myself, as well!"

"She's got a point," Mary Margaret nodded.

"I wish I could take my brain out and wash it!" Zelena went on.

"Enough! I wanted you to see what a good time we were having," Regina sneered.

"Sick fuck…" Tinkerbell said in a sing-songy voice.

"It wasn't supposed to be an orgy," Regina rolled her eyes. "Just a relaxing celebration with slightly erotic overtones in the decorations and food. I wanted to show Greenie…"

"Hey! Language!" Zelena protested.

"I just wanted to show you how regular people have fun without it being at the expense of others," Regina turned to her.

"Good job, sister," Zelena smirked.

"I need to get to Aurora," Mulan slurred. "Emma, can I take your car?"

"Hell no, Mulan! You've been drinking."

"You let Regina drive it," Mulan protested.

"I didn't let her, she took it!" Emma glowered at Regina.

"I'll drive you where you want to go," Mary Margaret offered sweetly.

/

Part 2: Explaining to Aurora

Mary Margaret drove Mulan to Robin's house, only to find that Aurora wasn't there. They proceeded to Aurora's cabin where they found Robin faithfully guarding her.

"I thought you were going to bring her to our house," Mulan looked at him quizzically.

"Better for the child for me to be here," he informed. "But, now, you're back! I'll take my leave."

"Thank you, Robin," Mulan grasped his arm before entering.

"Mulan!" Aurora called out excitedly as she ran up to hug her.

"I thought you'd be at my house," Mulan said.

"Yes. Robin mentioned that," Aurora nodded. "But then he said something about it being easier to come here than to clean the bathroom."

"He's probably right," Mulan shook her head. "That place is a mess: a bunch of men making merry."

"So," Aurora stated eagerly, "you went after the wicked witch?"

"We did," Mulan acknowledged.

"Did you get her?"

"We did," Mulan replied as she began to wobble slightly.

"Oh, what am I thinking?" Aurora apologized. "You must be exhausted. Let me help you with your armor."

She gently released the clasp on Mulan's neckpiece and then helped her lift the breastplate over her head.

"Much better, thank you," Mulan sighed.

"Sit down, Mulan," Aurora suggested. "Or do you want to see the baby? She's sleeping."

"I would love to see her," Mulan responded.

They walked over to the crib. Mulan peered down at the child.

"She's so beautiful," she smiled. "Just like her mother."

Aurora slipped her hand into Mulan's as they gazed at the little girl together.

"Let's go sit on the couch," Aurora whispered, "You can tell me all about your day."

"I have something for you," Mulan said as they sat together. "A memory potion."

Aurora looked at her in shock.

"So, I will be able to remember then?"

"I have to warn you, it will be difficult," Mulan pronounced solemnly.

"I have to know the truth!" Aurora declared.

She drank the potion. Tears streamed down her face.

"Phillip," she cried softly.

"He is gone," Mulan stated stoically. "He passed into death the night of…"

"The Quim Party!" Aurora realized. "I remember! He was with me in the nursery in the castle. He told me his time was always limited and that he had escaped the mark of the wraith knowing that his time with me would be short. He kissed me and…"

Aurora fell silent.

"His fate is better, now," Mulan comforted. "He is not in the shadow zone of the wraiths."

Aurora placed her head on Mulan's shoulder and sobbed quietly.

"I miss him, too," Mulan offered as she placed a protective arm around her. "He was my Captain."

"I lost all track of you that night of the fire," Aurora sniffled. "Where did you go?"

"I was, um, with Regina and her people."

"It must've been hell for you."

Mulan did not answer. She held Aurora tighter as she kissed her head and allowed a slight trace of a smile to cross her lips before recovering herself.

"It was."

/

Part 3: Explaining to Henry

Henry woke up and immediately checked his surroundings. Yes. Still here in his grandparent's house. It wasn't a dream! But, where was his mother?

"Mom?" he cried out.

"I'm right here," Emma ran over.

"No. I meant my other Mom. She promised to be here!"

"She's coming over soon," Emma explained.

"I've made breakfast!" Mary Margaret chirped cheerily.

"C'mon, partner," David took his hand. "Let's grab some food!"

As they sat down to eat, Henry had some questions.

"So, my Mom sacrificed everything for our happiness?"

"She did, indeed," Mary Margaret answered.

"And you guys are friends now?"

"We're working on it," she smiled pleasantly. "I owe her a lot."

"And Mom," he turned to Emma. "I saw you guys kissing yesterday. What was that all about?"

"Um… kinda' hard to explain," Emma began as David arched his eyebrows. "We're still working on that, too."

Regina entered without knocking.

"I got up early and made apple turnovers!" she exclaimed proudly.

"I love apple turnovers!" Henry smiled.

"I know, dear," Regina returned his affectionate gaze.

"My grandson was just asking about why you were kissing my daughter," David interjected.

As Mary Margaret stomped on his foot, Regina did not skip a beat.

"Because I love her!"

She turned to Mary Margaret and whispered, "Did I just say that out loud?"

Mary Margaret smiled warmly at her and nodded.

"Really?" Henry asked amazed.

"Really," Regina reassured as she walked over to Emma and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Emma did not respond.

"That's great!" Henry exclaimed as he hugged them both. "I always wanted my Moms to be together!"

Mary Margaret gave David a knowing glance.

"All right, then," David conceded. "I'm surrounded. She just better do right by my daughter!"

"Hey!" Emma complained. "Do I get a say in this?"

"No!" Regina and Mary Margaret said together before they turned to each other and exchanged a slight grin.

"We've got some decisions to make," Mary Margaret declared.

"Like how to tell the town about the Quim Party and their homes being burned to the ground?" David added sardonically.

"That's something I didn't understand last night," Henry looked at them questioningly. "What is a quim?"

"Don't ask, kid," Emma shook her head. "I wish I hadn't."

"We have to brew enough potion for all of them," Mary Margaret said.

Zelena began to squirm in the corner.

"What is it now?" Regina asked in an irritated voice as she removed the tape from her mouth.

"I would like some breakfast," Zelena stated haughtily. "Eggs and tea and one or two of those turnovers would be nice."

"You can quit acting all high and mighty," Regina informed. "From now on you're simply Almira Gulch from Kansas."

"Almira," Zelena uttered disdainfully.

"Hey, I don't make the rules," Regina shot back. "I've seen the movie. I certainly didn't park the bike with the Toto-sized basket outside your house! That's who you are, right?"

"Well, technically, I suppose."

"Accept it or stay bound and gagged!"

"Couldn't we go with a nickname, Sis? Like Allie or something?"

"Whatever," Regina shrugged.

Allie licked her lips.

"I am hungry," she muttered.

"David," Regina directed, "untie her."

"Are you sure?" he questioned apprehensively.

"I'm sure," Regina smirked. "She's got no power here."

David untied Almira. She slunk humbly to the counter and began eating the food Mary Margaret placed before her.

"How are we going to get the memory potion to all the people?" David questioned.

"We could drop it in the water supply," Regina suggested.

"No," Mary Margaret stated emphatically. "We have to let them know what's going on. We can't just surprise them with it."

"Not another town hall meeting," Regina complained. "Those things just don't turn out well for me."

"It's the only way," Mary Margaret shook her head resolutely.

/

Part 4: Explaining to the Town

"God, I'm sick of these town meetings," Granny bitched.

She turned to Ruby.

"But you're recording this at home, just in case?" she whispered.

"You know it, Granny," Ruby affirmed.

"I don't care what they say," Belle took Gold's arm in her own. "So long as I have you."

He smiled appreciatively before stating: "Let's just hear them out, dear."

Aurora and Mulan sat together with the baby. They eyed those around them with apprehension.

"This better be good, or Regina's going down!" Whale sneered under his breath to Archie.

"I think she may surprise you," Archie smiled.

"We are here tonight with amazing news!" Mary Margaret began. "We have found a way to break the memory curse!"

The room buzzed with excitement.

"Um, calm down everyone," Emma restored order. "That's the good news. The bad news is that the Enchanted Forest has been burned down and you have no home to return to."

"Way to couch it delicately!" Regina whispered as she elbowed her.

"Regina!" everyone clamored.

"Now wait a minute," Regina defended herself. "It wasn't the entire Enchanted Forest! Just things made of wood like those silly old trees and your pathetic hovels!"

"You're not making this better, Regina," Mary Margaret spoke out of the side of her mouth.

"It was nothing more than an unfortunate accident!" Regina continued.

"I say we get torches and burn the bitch!" Dr. Whale shouted. "Like in the old days!"

"Regina needs to pay!" many in the throng began to murmur.

"Hold on," Gold stood up as the crowd cowered in fear. "We need to hear them out. I, for one, am interested in what they have to say."

With the mob quieted, Mary Margaret continued.

"When you drink the memory potion, all will be explained. We've mixed it with Kool-Aid to cut the bitterness!"

"Shit. I'm down," Ruby shrugged.

"Kool-Aid… what could go wrong?" Archie smiled reassuringly.

Emma shook her head ironically as the crowd drank the Kool-Aid.

Slowly, muted voices could be heard whispering: "The Quim Party… the dragon… the pool… I wanted those hot tubs warmed up, too… "

People glanced at each other with alternate looks of guilt and pleasure. Finally Ruby stood up.

"The Quim Party rocked, Regina!"

"Thank you, Ruby," Regina acknowledged in a dignified manner.

"But what's she doing here?" Leroy pointed at the witch.

"Ding, dong, etc." Almira replied. "I am no longer wicked, at least not in that sense. I am merely Regina's half sister, Allie, from Kansas."

"Kansas, eh? That explains her accent," Granny nodded as the crowd assented.

"She's harmless now," Regina informed.

"Well, I don't trust her, all the same," Leroy spat out.

"Trust takes time," Regina looked at Emma, who looked away.

"I'll have a huge barbeque at my house on Saturday to celebrate our memories being restored!" Regina announced.

The crowd gasped.

"What?" Regina looked dumbfounded.

"You burned down the Enchanted Forest and you want to have a barbeque at your house?" Granny looked at her incredulously.

"Oh," Regina put her hand to her mouth. "Right."

She thought for a moment.

"I promise not to burn down Storybrooke. Plus, I'll work on a spell that un-enchants this place so we can all stay here but be free to come and go as we please! I mean, who wouldn't rather be here than that dreary, old EF with its ogres, trolls, rancid mead and such?"

"I do like the Internet," Belle nodded.

"Me too," Archie agreed.

"I like gas kitchens," Granny chimed in, "and DVRs."

"I like Cinemax, e-cigs and jello-shots," Ruby added.

"There is a good assortment of drink here," Leroy acknowledged. "And I have to know what the Kardashians will do next!"

"Right?" Ruby agreed.

"Climate change is a legitimate concern in this world," Gold lamented. No one heard him.

"I like video games!" Ariel enthused.

"I like cars," Mulan nodded.

"I'm still not caught up on Breaking Bad," Whale rubbed his chin. "I couldn't leave before I see the end."

"I like how they fantasize about us in books, movies and television in this realm," Tinkerbell said dreamily.

"Then it's settled!" Regina proclaimed. "We stay! BBQ at my house this Saturday!"

"Will there be an assortment of alcoholic beverages at this barbeque?" Leroy questioned.

"Of course."

"But no, um, quim decorations, or flowers or food, right Regina?" Mary Margaret queried.

"No. Just good, old fashioned American blandness!" she promised.

"Like if you were from Kansas?" Almira questioned curiously.

"Precisely," Regina nodded.

"What's a quim?" Henry shook his head.

/

Part 5: Re-explaining to Emma:

Emma and Regina sat on a bench by the town lake. A fountain spouted water up from an island in the middle. Henry sailed an automated boat with Hook and Ariel.

"You cannot be angry with me, Emma," Regina said. "We were all drugged when we had sex and burned down the Enchanted Forest."

"I know that. But it's hard."

"What's hard?"

"I dunno'. I've never had true love before, I guess, like we had in that magic dream world place. Somehow, it doesn't feel right when, all at once, the one person you thought you were meant to be with turns out to be someone who had sex with just about everyone in town."

"I didn't!" Regina protested. "I only had a few girls and one or two guys. It didn't mean anything, Emma."

"I know… but still. You had your memories. You remembered me and you did it anyway... the whole Pussy Party thing."

"I thought I'd never see you again! Was I supposed to become a nun?"

"No, but…" Emma was still struggling. "I mean… you fucked Granny."

"I did not fuck Granny. Tink is full of shit! She probably fucked Granny herself and invented a memory of me doing it!"

"See, and you're calling her Tink all of a sudden."

"Geezus, Emma, what can I do to make this better? You know how inclined I am towards… physicality. Drugs only exacerbated the issue."

"Yeah, I guess."

"We didn't have anything like a committed relationship at that time," Regina reminded. "I mean, we left things very open-ended."

"I know."

"And you were doing the flying monkey sex thing."

"But, that was different… I didn't remember you," she waved her hand at the town, "or this!"

"I was just trying to lighten the mood in the EF. I had no idea I would ever see you again, and besides… I didn't spike the punch!" Regina sighed. "I didn't know that I would fall so hard for you this time…" she spoke almost to herself as her voice trailed off.

There was a silence, as Emma seemed to soften somewhat.

"I wish I knew how to fix this," she finally continued.

Regina thought for a moment. She got down on one knee before the woman she loved. She took Emma's hand in her own and kissed it.

"I love you with all my heart. You are my moon and stars, my rising sun."

"Regina!" Emma's eyes grew wide. "What are you doing?"

"I'm no good at this kind of thing," Regina shook her head, embarrassed.

"No. You're doing great!" Emma encouraged.

Regina brightened.

"If you'll still have me, Emma Swan, will you…"

Just then a body hurtled down from the sky and landed in the lake. Both women were startled.

"What the fuck?"

A grubby, wet form crawled up from the water and coughed up mud.

"Hello, Emma, my love."

"Walsh?"