This update has been a long time coming! I'm so sorry I haven't managed to publish a new chapter for a while! i've had a manic summer of travelling and working so I haven't had the chance to carry on with Lola's story but she's back!

I should publish Chapter 13 later on tonight if i get a chance to finish it off and then that's book one finished!

Book two is going to be written from Soap's perspective as it's a good way for me to further the story along and I already have the first two chapters written and I love them so much!

As always, reviews are always welcome! I'm so grateful to everybody who has given me their opinions on my little story! It makes me so happy to know that my ramblings are being enjoyed!

One comment that I got was that Lola seems to be really perfect. She is, I guess. But that's the whole point of her. She is completely perfect. She's beautiful and funny and smart but bad things still happen to her. She's the embodiment of the ideology that nobody is perfect. She becomes a bit less of a goody goody in the next book though so hopefully people will see another side of her. Until then, enjoy this chapter!

P.S. If anybody is wondering about the song that plays on the radio it's called 'In the Aeroplane over the Sea' by Neutral Milk Hotel. I'll post a link to it below. it's the most gorgeous song :)

watch?v=hD6_QXwKesU

Enjoy xxx

I had always been impulsive. Granted, I had an extremely sensible head on my shoulders 99% of the time, but I almost always made my decisions within a split second. Tristan had been a completely impulsive decision. I had been drunk, it was hot and he had been wearing a tight white t-shirt that showed off his tan and wonderfully bulging biceps to perfection. The man may be a lying, cheating arsehole but he could wear the fuck out of a t-shirt.

Do you remember learning all about adrenaline in school? How your body has a natural response when confronted with a situation with which you weren't familiar? You either look at the problem head-on and deal with it, or you don't. It's called fight or flight. I was fight. Always, always fight. Impulsiveness seemed to run in our family and was a trait which seemed to be associated with my mum and her self proclaimed "wild child" youth. She had met my dad when they had both gone to a gig in Camden for The Kinks. She, seventeen at the time, had snuck out of the house and taken two trains and three buses to her intended destination only to be turned away at the door for being underage. My dad, nineteen and in his first year of University had seen her and with a little help from a £50 note had persuaded the bouncers to let her inside. They had their first kiss to the song, "Lola" and the rest is history. I loved the sentimentality behind my name, but could never really forgive them for naming me after a song that was about a transvestite. My mum claimed that her impulsiveness had also led her to have a one-night stand with Mick Jagger but that is another, very disturbing, story that I had worked hard to abolish from my mind.

Her impulsiveness had led her to my father. Mine had led me to Hereford and the base of the SAS. I still had no idea who, or what the SAS were. What did SAS even stand for? Sexy Ass Soldiers? The two men on the gates weren't terribly sexy. Very muscly and dressed in the same clothes as Price had been yesterday which only seemed to enhance every popping vein and swollen bicep, but not exactly hitting the sweet spot.

I had been sat in the Range Rover staring at the gate for about fifteen minutes, twirling Price's card around my fingers. I knew that they had clocked me but nobody came to ask what I wanted. I had a feeling that the SAS were the kind of people that didn't come to you but waited for you to come to them. Trouble was, now that I was here, even if they had asked me what I had wanted, I doubt I would have been able to tell them.

What did I want?

Truthfully, I wanted to take back the past four months but as that wasn't about to happen, I had to focus on the present. I had come this far, so clearly I was intrigued by Captain Price and the job that he had alluded to yesterday but that was it. Too much had changed in the past six months. Did I really want to upset that balance further? Before my parents had died I had wanted to finish University, get a good job, meet a nice man, have kids... but now? I wasn't so sure what I wanted anymore.

I pulled my phone from the pocket of my shorts and went into my recent calls, scrolling until I found him.

Dad.

I knew he was never coming back. I had come to terms with that by now. But it didn't stop me ringing his phone once a week. After being obliterated in the blast, it never rang anymore but went straight to voicemail. Tears pricked at my eyes as his voice appeared.

"Sorry, I can't answer right now but if you leave me a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks."

Then the beep.

I took a deep breath. "Hi dad." Tears pricked at my eyes. "We had the reading of the will yesterday and I got to read your note. Good job I was wearing my waterproof mascara." I sniffed and stared down at my shorts, my fingers playing with the fraying hem. "I met this man yesterday, Captain Price... He's in charge of the SAS. Do you know who they are and what they do? I came to Hereford to meet him because he said he had a job that I would be perfect for. He seems like a nice guy. He reminds me of you. Not in the way you look or anything because he's ginger and has some really questionable facial hair but just in the way he looked at me." I sighed. "Nobody will ever, ever replace you but it was the first time since you went that I've felt like somebody was trying to guide me and had my back. Hey, and I finally used those shooting skills you taught me! I shot Tristan in the head with a rubber bullet. Turns out he was gay and in a long term relationship with Spencer. I'm sure if you were alive you would have told me that you knew all along and you were just waiting for me to find out on my own." I looked up at the entrance to the base. "I need a sign. I need you to show me what to do. I've come this far on my own but I'm scared. If I don't go in and meet with him I'll always wonder what if, but if I do go in and I turn down a new path then I'll always wonder about what I'm leaving behind. You and mum were always so supportive of any decision I made. I know what I want to do but I need you to show me that it's the right choice." I blinked away the tears that were lining my lower lashes. "I love you pops."

I hung up the phone and tipped my head back against the headrest. My temples pounded with the remainder of this morning's hangover. Reaching towards the dashboard, I switched the radio on. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

It was his song.

My fingers reached to my collarbone, to my tattoo. The one I had done for him. The lyrics from his favourite song. Their first dance song.

And I was laughing. Real laughter. It was his sign. I sang along loudly, and the tears that I had blinked away had returned with full force and were rolling down my cheeks.

He was reminding me to be impulsive. He was instructing me to be brave. He was telling me that everything happens for a reason. The deaths of my parents had led up to this moment. They couldn't have died in vain. I was supposed to be here. This job with Price, whatever the hell it happened to be, was my fate.

The song finished with the most poignant of sentences, the one which I had decided to tattoo on myself.

"Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all."

I laughed and wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. Yeah, life was strange. You can do everything right for your whole entire life and then boom, you're gone. I didn't want to regret anything. I wanted to live. I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to be somebody different because hey, bad things still happen regardless of how perfectly you followed the formula of living the perfect life. I jumped out of the Range Rover and slipped Price's card into the pocket of my shorts, my eyes fixed on the gates. The two men stared at me as I approached. I wish I had worn a pair of shorts that didn't show so much leg. Note to self, stop wearing short shorts.

"You lost?" One of the men asked as I stopped in front of him.

"I'm here to see Price." I shook my head. "Sorry, Captain Price."

I had a feeling that you didn't skip the Captain bit when referring to the delightful Price.

"And you are..?"

"Lola."

He raised an eyebrow at me. I was used to the response when somebody first learnt my name. Cheers, Mum and Dad. He gave me a once over and I felt my mortification levels rise. He was almost certainly coming to the conclusion that I was a prostitute as most people normally did. Why, oh why did I have to wear my shortest denim shorts today? Why not a sensible pair of jeans? I had to stop letting Steve come with me when I went shopping.

"Is that your stage name?"

Yep. He'd come to that conclusion. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.

"Nope." I gave a nervous laugh. "My parents liked The Kinks."

He narrowed his eyes at me and removed his walkie talkie from his belt.

"Gaz, it's Wallcroft, there's a delivery for the Captain at the front gate."

I pulled a face at him as a voice floated into the air. "Is it the new guy? The old man mentioned something about a visitor today."

The guy on the gate laughed loudly. "Oh, he's got a visitor all right."

"I'll be right there."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms tightly across my chest. Despite my earlier declaration to Steve, I had forgone a bra. And it was cold if you catch my drift.

"Gaz'll take you to the Captain." he clipped his walkie talkie back onto his belt.

"Thanks..." I gave him my best dazzling smile. "I'll let him know how accommodating you were."

He tipped a none existent hat towards me and I laughed.

"Hey, no judgement." He grinned. "We've all got to earn money." He leant onto the barrier. "Judging by the range rover you turned up in you do quite well for yourself." He nodded at the car behind me. "But hey, you've got legs for days and lips that would make me leave my wife." He frowned. "Not that I actually have a wife."

I laughed. "Thanks, I guess."

A black jeep accelerated towards the gate.

"Is this Gaz?" I asked Wallcroft.

I stared at the driver as he exited the vehicle. He was wearing the same black uniform as Wallcroft and Price, had a smattering of patchy black facial hair and was wearing a cap. He walked around towards the gate, stopping in his tracks when his eyes settled on me.

"Who are you?" He asked, his eyes narrowing warily.

"Price's visitor." Wallcroft said. "I use the term visitor very loosely." He turned to me. "Hey, what do girls in your profession actually call yourselves?" I rolled my eyes. "Lady of the night? Escort? Special fun time friend?"

Gaz was looking at me as If I had arrived at the gate, declared myself an extra-terrestrial and asked if he would mind if I probed him.

"I'm not an escort." I told Gaz. I had a feeling that telling Wallcroft wouldn't really listen to me so I made the executive decision to stop trying. "I'm Lola." I fumbled for the card in my shorts pocket. "Your Captain asked me to pay him a visit about a job."

"Oh, I bet I know what job he's after." Wallcroft grinned.

"What did you say your name was?" Gaz raised an eyebrow at me and reached for the card. "Lola?"

"Yeah..." I mumbled. "My parents liked The Kinks."

I should just wear a sign.

Gaz sighed loudly and walked back to the driver side of the jeep. Pausing for another sigh he opened the door and jumped inside, the door slamming loudly behind him.

I stared after him for a few seconds before turning to Wallcroft. "Is that a sign that I'm supposed to follow him?"

He nodded, the manic grin never leaving his face.

"Is it a running theme that all things SAS related are done in riddles?" I asked. "Do you communicate via smoke signals?"

"Nope, just regular carrier pigeons and handwritten letters."

I smirked at him as he opened the gate for me. "Your carriage awaits m'lady." He bowed as I walked past him. He was looking at my bum. Christ. He straightened up and walked around to the passenger door, opening it, I saw Gaz talking furiously into a walkie talkie.

"-A GIRL?" He jumped as he saw me. I waved at him and he scowled as he shoved the walkie talkie back onto his belt. Wallcroft laughed loudly and offered me a hand to help me into the jeep.

"Hey, just out of curiosity... How much does a girl like you cost?" He grinned like a naughty child as I sat myself in the seat. "Do we get a group discount if there's a couple of lads interested?"

I leant down towards him and placed my lips near his ear. "You wouldn't be able to afford me."

He laughed loudly. "I hope he keeps you around."

He shut the door and I leant back into my seat. Gaz turned the keys and the jeep rumbled loudly. I flicked my eyes towards him. He was practically glowing with rage. He turned to look at me, the scowl never faltering. He stared at me for a few long seconds before the jeep moved off.

"The old man has fucking lost it this time." He growled.

"I-"

"-No. Don't speak." He growled. "Just sit there."

I held my hands up to him in a surrender sign and settled back into the seat.

"I can't wait to hear what he's got to say about you."