Prompt: Pre-SQ, Emma tries to commit suicide and it's Regina who finds her.
Asked by: Anonymous
I'd rather be dreaming than living
Living's just too hard to do
It's chances not choices
Noises not voices
A day's just a thing to get through
Living's just too hard to do
It hurt, it always hurt but she couldn't help it. It was a compulsion, a dangerous one but a compulsion all the same. She needed to feel, needed to fight the numbness that had started to win once more.
She was tired, exhausted even. Sleep eluded her for how could she sleep when she didn't feel as though she had even been awake? Every day the same, she would put on a face, a smile if possible, any kind of pretence that she was okay, a reason for those around her not to have to ask the difficult questions.
Her eyes took in the dried specs of crimson on her hand towel, the one she kept hidden, the same one she had kept hidden for the past few weeks. Cutting was something she had done as a child and a habit she had broken out of around the same time she had gotten out of the system but now…could it be called a relapse? She wasn't addicted…just…in need.
The crimson turned to a light brown, the soft spokes of the towel turning into the smooth fabric of a crisp white shirt before her very eyes, the images playing in her mind as she sat hunched over on the floor, blade to skin.
Coffee, she needed coffee…no, she needed the burn that coffee provided, the fiery heat that would trickle down her throat and into her empty stomach. Food was undesirable to her now, she chewing a chore.
She hadn't heard the doorbell signalling the entrance of another, hadn't smelt the familiar scent floating across the room as she remained in the safety of her own little bubble.
"Miss Swan!" She blinked in confusion, when had she moved? Apparently she had if her position in front of a, now beverage stained, Regina was anything to go by. Emma could do nothing but stare however, no words came to her mind, no remarks…nothing. She simply stared.
The brunette's brow furrowed as she took in the woman before her or, to put it in true terms, the shell, the empty vessel for Emma surely was not there. Her head tilted as she took in the vacant, almost haunted expression on the gaunt face of the towns Sherriff but before she could even think to ask if there was anything wrong the woman was gone.
The trickling of a warm heat making it's way down her arm was what brought her back, the slight dizziness clouding her mind told her that she was almost at her quota for what her body could physically withstand…but she couldn't stop, couldn't move the metal from skin, could only press harder even as the sounds of a low, familiar voice echoed throughout the empty apartment.
She couldn't place the voice, couldn't quite remember who it belonged to as darkness crept into her vision, oblivion ready to take her as she allowed her tired body to fall sideways and onto the cold tiled floor. She heard the thud, watched as her vision bounced indicating the fact that her head had most likely hit the ground hard but she didn't feel it.
She watched as the door slowly inched open, no creaking as it usually did, everything had fallen unnaturally silent. Black patented heels came into view followed by the smooth skin of tanned thighs as a black skirt inched higher up lean legs. Nausea hit her in rolls as she was rolled onto her back but that was forgotten as dark hair came into view, tear filled brown eyes moving from the wound on her wrist and back to her face, full lips moving as words Emma couldn't hear wear spoken.
Those same dark eyes closed as her lips continued to move and at the sight of a bright unnatural light just outside of her vision, Emma's mind was finally able to understand what was happening, Regina was healing her.
"Damn stubborn woman…" her voice sounded slurred as the shroud over her hearing seemed to lift finally though her eyes began to flutter shut.
"Shh…" she registered the feeling of soft hands moving over her forehead, brushing away errant strands as they went, "sleep now Emma, you can shout at me all you want when you wake up"
"Mhmm" was all the blonde managed as sleep finally overtook her. Regina watched for a long moment, revelled in the steady rise and fall of Emma's chest and the look of serenity that had taken over her features. Then her eyes moved to take in the scars marring the pale skin of her arm, Regina's fingers playing over each one. This may not have been the first time Emma had self-harmed but as the brunette laced her fingers with the younger woman's, she hoped to whatever higher power there was that it would be the last.