Chapter 18
I don't own Ian or Lucy
Lucy's POV
"Please, have a seat." Dr. Collins gestures to the couch. Taking a deep breath, I nod my head and take a seat. I nervously run my hands along the tops of my thighs watching as she takes a seat in the brown leather chair that matches the couch I am sitting on.
"Sorry for my lack of proper attire… I had a photo shoot this morning." I murmur awkwardly feeling significantly underdressed in my old t-shirt and denim shorts.
She gives me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it, Lucy. You should feel comfortable here. I don't care what you wear."
After a few seconds of silence I speak up unsure what to say. "Dr. Collins, I—"
"Please, Lucy, call me Kate."
"Okay," releasing my breath I swallow nervously. "So Kate… Is this where you ask me how I'm feeling or something?" I laugh softly, anxiously.
Kate crakes a smile in return. "If that is where you would like to start."
"I've never done this sort of thing before so I'm not sure how this works." I confess though I'm sure she could already tell based on my anxious persona.
"We can talk about anything you'd like and we don't have to talk to talk to anything you don't wish to discuss. I'm all ears for whatever you'd like."
In an attempt to ease my nervousness I place my hands on my stomach to caress it rhythmically. Hopefully Brea will kick for me—I am always put to ease when I feel her kicking. God, I would give anything right now to reach into my purse and grab a Ho Ho.
"How far along are you?" Kate asks, breaking me from my trance.
I smile instinctively. "5 Months."
"Do you mind if I ask the sex?" I can tell she is trying to help me calm my nerves and talking about Brea is the way to do such a thing.
"We're having a girl. Ian, my husband, and I are incredibly excited. She's going to be perfect."
"How's pregnancy been treating you?"
Just like that I feel completely at ease and focus on talking about my baby girl. "It's definitely been an experience. Do you have any kids?"
Kate nods her head. Reaching over to a table on her right she picks up a picture frame passing it to me. "I have twins; Madeline and Abbigail. They just turned three last month."
"They are adorable!" I grin passing the frame back to her.
"I notice you keep glancing at your purse. Any chance it has anything to do with pregnancy cravings?" Kate gives me a knowing look. At my shocked look she continues. "When I was pregnant I had the biggest obsession with cravings. I would keep my most desired items in my purse to munch on whenever I had a hankering."
"I'm hooked on cookie butter and Ho Hos."
"Have one."
"What?" I ask in disbelief. This is not how I expected my appointment to go.
Shrugging in response, Kate gestures towards my purse which is sitting next to me on the couch cushion.
"As I've said, you should feel comfortable here. Would you like a water?"
"Yes please."
Before long the sound of a ding interrupts our conversation.
"I take it that means our time is up?"
Kate nods her head in confirmation. The past hour had flown by without me realizing it. Majority of the time was spent with us just getting to know each other. We spent the last twenty minutes touching base on the kidnapping incident. It had been tough at first to talk about it, however, something about Kate provided a sense of comfort for me. I hadn't told her about the nightmares yet due to running out of time.
"I look forward to seeing you again soon?" Kate questions as we both rise to our feet.
I smile faintly in return. "Yes. I will definitely be scheduling the next appointment available. Thank you."
She walks me out to the lobby where I see Ian waiting for me patiently. As soon as he sees me Ian stands up and I hurry over to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist I snuggle my head into his chest, not caring about anyone else in the waiting room.
"Thank you Ian, thank you." If it weren't for him I probably would have postponed searching for a psychologist.
Ian squeezes me tightly while placing a kiss to the top of my head. "You're welcome, Sweetheart."
Tugging on Ian's hand I lead him up to the counter to make an appointment. I tell the receptionist, Samantha, I would like to schedule another appointment. She types a few things into her computer to pull up Kate's calendar.
"Okay, the first opening Dr. Collins has would be two weeks from tomorrow at 9:15." Samantha says glancing up at me to see my response.
"Two weeks?" I ask in disbelief.
"I'm afraid so."
"Okay, well if that's the earliest there is I'll take it. If there is any cancelations would I be able to get in sooner?" I question hopeful.
"Of course. I'll give you a call if anything opens up."
"That would be wonderful, thank you."
Ian and I walk out of the office hand in hand all the way to the car. As per usual he opens the passenger door for me before climbing into the driver's side. Now that we're finally alone Ian turns to me asking me how it went.
"She is incredibly nice and I felt comfortable opening up to her. Thank you for doing this for me, Ian." Leaning over the console I place a leisure kiss on his lips.
"Do you want to head home or is there anything special you want to do?" Ian wonders as he turns the car on.
Rubbing my hand along his thigh for a moment I think about what I want to do. "If you're up for it, how about we go shopping for Brea?"
Ian smiles widely at me. "I'd like that."
The following morning I stretch my arms out wide above my head sighing in content. Ian and I had gotten a ton of shopping done last night. We mostly bought clothing, though we did find the car seat we wanted as well as a very nice stroller. I had seen a furniture set I loved but we were unsure if we wanted to buy one right now or wait just in case there happens to be something else we stumble upon that appeals to us more. It was a beautiful deep brown wood set that consist of a matching crib, dresser, a changing table with three drawers, and a little nightstand. I fell in love with it as did Ian, but we both knew not to buy everything at once. After sleeping on it though I really want to go back and by the set. It is perfect and everything we were looking for. All we would need to buy left in order to have the nursery fully furnished would be a rocking chair and a rug. Ian and I were thinking of getting a white shag rug for Brea's room since it is incredibly soft and fluffy for her to roll around on and whatnot rather than being on hardwood flooring.
Rolling over to my side I see Ian is still fast asleep. I shift on the mattress to untangle from the sheets allowing me the ability to straddle Ian's lower waist. His shirt that I slept in rides up a bit when I situate myself on top of him. I lightly run my fingers up his bare chest before lacing them in his hair. Peppering his face in kisses I wait patiently for him to stir. Adding more pressure to the kisses on his lips each time I finally get a response, one that causes me to giggle in contentment. Ian's hands rest underneath the thin cotton shirt on my hips to toy with the band of my panties. During the duration of our kiss I feel his left hand sliding down my backside to palm my behind firmly in his hand. I moan lowly in delight when he squeezes it playfully.
"Good morning baby." I grin at him after breaking the kiss.
Ian smirks in happiness up at me. "It certainly has started off on a good note!"
"After sleeping on it—" I abruptly pause midsentence. Leaping up from the bed I take off running into the bathroom with my hand clamped over my mouth. Ian was right behind me grasping my hair off of my shoulders for me just as the morning sickness takes over. As per usual he rubs my back soothingly whilst placing soft kisses to my back.
"Feel better?" Ian asks after several moments pass and I believe that the wave of nausea has passed.
"Much, sorry about that." I mutter feeling upset for ruining our moment in bed.
"Don't worry about it Goose." After wiping my mouth and thoroughly brushing my teeth we return to bed where we proceed to snuggle up comfortably.
Ian runs his hands through my hair rhythmically then twirls his fingers around the ends of my locks. "What was it you were going to say earlier?"
"After sleeping on it, I really want to go back to that store yesterday and buy the furniture set. That is if you think it's the one, too. I don't think there is one we'll find that I'll love more."
"I think it's perfect as well. Seeing how much you fell in love with it yesterday I knew it would be the one you wanted. How about we get around for the day then we can head on over there?"
"Sounds wonderful. Thank you babe." After pressing a long kiss to his lips I flop onto my back snuggling into the welcoming bed.
"Come on doggies, let's go potty." Ian says to the three dogs sleeping on the floor in their beds across the room. All three dogs instantly perk up acting wide awake and run after Ian as if they were in a race to get to the back door.
"I'll get the shower warm for us while you take care of them," I call out down the hall to Ian. Forcing myself out of the bed I walk into out master bath to turn on the shower. The room soon fills with steam from the hot water rising up out of the top of the three glass panels. I retrieve towels for the two of us and sit them on the ledge by the shower before pulling Ian's shirt over my head. Just as I was about to shimmy my panties down my legs I feel two warm hands hook into the sides of the lace garment.
"You know how much I enjoy undressing you." Ian's gruff voice causes me to nearly melt in his arms. With his lips brushing the side of my neck paired with his hands hooked in my panties I was about to give out at the knees.
We remove the last of thread from our bodies then climb eagerly into the shower.
Ian and I wound up spending the entire day shopping. We got a bunch of stuff for Brea as well as things for ourselves. We were very pleased to find literally the perfect rocking chair with rocking autumn that matches the furniture set exactly. It is cushioned and everything granting full comfort for those late nights in the rocking chair that are bound to come. All the furniture is set to be delivered to the house this Friday sometime between eight in the morning and one in the afternoon.
I just finished stripping down out of my clothes and into one of Ian's shirts to climb into bed. After all the shopping we have done so far my ankles are swollen up and I feel exhausted. Patrick had called Ian while we were shopping wanting to meet up with Ian for a beer or something. After promising Ian I'd be fine he agreed to spend the rest of the day with Patrick. Ian is currently brining the remaining bags upstairs for me. Despite me trying to be of help and bring in several bags with me, Ian told me to sit everything back down and go right on up to bed. He knew how much the shopping had drained me, not to mention how swollen my ankles are. Reluctantly I did as he wished and went straight up to bed leaving him to bring in all of the shopping bags.
"Alright, there is every last one."
"Since the dresser will be here in a couple days we can start washing all of the clothes so they'll be ready and we won't have to worry about them." I point out to Ian as I snuggle down into the freshly made bed.
"Very good idea. However, I don't want you up doing any laundry while I'm gone. I know you're tired so you just need to rest and enjoy the house to yourself."
Ian gives me a leisure kiss muttering his goodbye. "I'll be back some time tonight. Let me know if there is anything in particular you would like to eat for dinner."
"Okay thank you." I whisper in a drowsy manner. My eyelids become heavier by the second.
"Sweet dreams, Honey." With one last kiss to my forehead Ian leaves the side of the bed.
Before long I am out like a light in bed with Mochi, Bailey, and Jack snuggled in bed with me.
"No!" I scream. "I want to go home! I want my husband. We'll give you however much money you want just let me go!" I whimper desperately.
"Oh Sweetheart, it's too late for that. We already got the money from your husband sorted out. I've decided to keep you for myself." Daniel grins wickedly at me.
"No!" Tears spill profusely down my cheeks.
"There is no reason to cry baby you're in great hands." Daniel chuckles approaching the bed I am bound to.
"Ian." I sob painfully. This can't be happening. I just want to get out of this hell hole and return to my husband's safe embrace.
"Not any more Honey. You've got me now."
I shoot up in bed in a cold sweat with tears spilling rapidly down my cheeks. My chest heaves up and down rapidly as I attempt to fill my lungs with much needed air. I furiously run my hands through my dampened hair trying to grasp ahold of the fact I am safe, at home, in bed where no one can touch me. I need to calm myself down before I suffer a panic attack.
Reaching over to the side of the bed I retrieve my purse in order to hunt down my cell phone. Swiftly unlocking the device I pull up Dr. Collin's office number and dial it without a second thought. Before the receptionist can even finish asking how she can be of assistance I voice my response.
"This is Lucy Harding. I need to talk to Dr. Collins right now please." I sputter anxiously.
"She is about to start her next session. Can I take a message and have her get back to you when she's available?" The receptionist, who I recognize to be Samantha's voice asks politely.
"No I need to talk to her right now. Please? It's important." I beg her willfully.
Samantha hesitates for a moment before replying. "Let me put you on hold for a moment then I'll patch you through to her phone."
"Thank you!"
I nervously gnaw at my bottom lip while waiting to be patched through to Dr. Collins. After what felt like an eternity, though I'm sure it was only a mere minute or two, the phone begins ringing soon followed by Kate's voice.
"Lucy, what's wrong?" The worry is evident in her tone.
"I can't wait two weeks until my next appointment. Something happened and I—I just can't wait. I need to talk to you now." I'm sure she can hear my sniffling over the phone. No matter how many times I wipe away my tears they continue to flow.
"Are you okay? You aren't hurt are you?" I can sense the worry rising in her voice.
"Emotionally, no I am not okay. Physically, yes I am fine. I'm not hurt something happened and I really need to talk to you now. Please, is there any way I can meet with you before my appointment in two weeks?"
Kate pauses for a moment before offering a response. "My last appointment ends at 5 o'clock. If you want, you can come at five and I'll stay late tonight."
"If you don't mind staying I would really appreciate it. I desperately need to see you. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome Lucy. I'll let Samantha know you'll be coming by shortly."
Saying our goodbyes we hang up the phone. Looking at the time on the clock resting on the nightstand I see I have just over an hour until I need to be there. Scurrying out of bed I rush into the bathroom where I see my makeup from earlier has smeared over my face from the intense water works. Taking a makeup remover wipe from my bathroom drawer I remove all traces of makeup before climbing in the shower to wash the sweat off of me. I wash my body off and rinse in record time; only taking five minutes.
Once I step out of the shower I dry off my body and hurry out of the bathroom to the closet. Wanting something comfortable I sort through my options unsure of what I want. Dropping my towel, I slip into a simple black bra and panties set before searching for clothing. Knowing I want to be comfortable I decided on a pair of dark wash denim shorts instantly. My hands hover over all of my clothes in an indecisive manner. An idea comes to mind causing me to spin on my heels until I am facing Ian's side of the closet. My hand reaches out to grab my favorite shirt of his, I pull it over my head with a pleased smile tugging on my lips. Gazing in the mirror I adjust the top and tuck it here and there to make it appear more fitted to my slightly slim figure—though I am nearing six months pregnant, I am still relatively slender. With it being only the second week of September the temperatures have been dropping lately with cool breezes here and there. Grabbing my black hoody off of its hanger in the back of the closet I slip it over my head, grab a pair of flats and head downstairs.
If I don't leave now I know I'll be late arriving to Dr. Collins's office. I quickly grab a cold bottle of water out of the fridge. As I am walking out of the kitchen I grab my phone out of my purse to let Ian know I was going to be out for a bit.
"Damn it," I curse to myself upon seeing my phone is at 1%. Knowing it'll die any second, I hurry over to the charger Ian and I keep plugged in by the refrigerator to charge my phone while I'm gone. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen I scribble out a note for Ian and tape it to the fridge in case he happens to come home before I do.
Anxiously I sit in the waiting room for Dr. Collins to finish her last appointment. The only receptionist left is Samantha and she is currently packing up her things for the night. I have been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes desperately begging for the time to pass quickly. I caress my baby bump soothingly as a way to keep myself calm and my nerves down.
"I'll see you next week. Have a good night. Lucy?" I head Kate's friendly tone break the silence that had occupied the room.
My eyes open and I look over to her.
"Are you ready?" She asks gently after the tall male who appeared to be mid-twenties walked out of the room.
"Yes," I whisper hoarsely since my voice is still affected from my crying.
I follow her back into her private office just like I had my first time here just 26 hours ago. We both take a seat on our respective pieces of furniture.
"Whenever you're ready to start Lucy I'm all ears." Kate encourages with a reassuring smile.
Taking a deep breath I close my eyes to prepare myself for what's to come.
"Several months ago Ian was in a movie. The day of the premiere for said movie I was kidnapped. I had gone out early that morning to pick us up some breakfast when a man grabbed me from behind and threw me into a van that his brother had been driving. They drugged me causing me to fall unconscious; when I woke up my hands and feet were taped together with duct tape and I was laying on a bed in a sleazy motel room."
My breath catches in my throat painfully as I relive a moment in my life I have tried my hardest to block out.
"One of the brothers, Daniel, he was infatuated with me. He wanted to use the time I was stuck with them to his benefit. Things got—things got out of hand when Zach had gone to get some lunch."
My voice drops to barely above a whisper as the tears fall freely. "He ripped my dress off and tried to have his way with me… He didn't rape me but that's only because Zach came running back into the room when he heard my screams. Zach slapped me across the face to shut me up. Even though Daniel didn't try to… again, he still touched my body when I was only in my bra and panties."
Kate silently hands me a box of tissues not wanting to interrupt me since I've finally found the courage to open up to someone.
"When Ian saved me I thought all would be fine, you know? I was safe with my husband where no one could get to me because I was with him. Then when I was at the hospital being checked over I found out I was pregnant and I couldn't have felt happier." My voice trails off. Wiping away my tears I take a big gulp of water feeling extremely dehydrated from all the crying I have endured this evening.
"However something happened, didn't it? Something happened that took you out of the pleasant little bubble you had been presented with." Kate comments with a knowing tone.
"Yes," I whisper brokenly. "Ian and I were having these interviews where we were supposed to talk about the baby—they were my first interviews since I had been kidnapped. Despite my manager making it thoroughly clear that the only topic up for discussion was to be about the baby, one interviewer decided he wanted to ask things beyond that. He made me relive that horrid event on live national TV. That was the first time I ever ran out of an interview and refused to return. Since that day I have been having these nightmares."
Kate's eyebrows furrow for a moment before nodding. I watch as she scribbles several notes to her notepad that is resting in her lap. "Can you tell me what happens in these nightmares?"
"They all have been relatively similar thus far. In every one Ian didn't find me or else the plan changed for some reason leading Zach and Daniel deciding to keep me rather than making the trade; me for the money. Daniel did whatever he desired to me and I had no strength or ability to escape him. Despite having similar events in each nightmare they are worse and more vivid each time."
Gazing up from my lap I see Kate is diligently writing notes, her hand flying across the paper rapidly. She looks up from the pad to watch my emotions for a moment before speaking up. "Do you experience these nightmares every time you sleep, or have you noticed a pattern in them?"
Pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie I fiddle with it, instantly having an answer to her question.
"I don't have them every night. I have noticed every time I sleep alone, whether it's just a little nap or sleeping overnight, if Ian isn't next to me in bed then I have them. Also I've um…" I trail off awkwardly unsure of finishing my sentence.
Sensing my discomfort Kate speaks up in hopes of easing my thoughts. "It's okay Lucy, remember you can tell me anything and it will never leave this room."
Shifting on the couch I clear my throat before responding. "I've also noticed when Ian and I have sex I don't seem to have a nightmare."
Kate nods her head in an act of understanding. "Do you typically fall asleep after you and Ian have been intimate?"
"Lately I have been due to the tiredness of my pregnancy I do, yes." I blush at the fact I am discussing mine and Ian's sex life to someone other than Ian.
"Does Ian know about the nightmares?"
Shaking my head in negate I reply in a soft tone, "No. Well he knows I'm having nightmares but he doesn't know as to what they pertain."
"Do you feel better now that you've gotten all of this off your chest?"
"Yes, tremendously. I've been afraid to tell Ian about them because I don't want him to worry about me. He was scared enough when I was kidnapped, I don't want him to have the same horrid images in his head that I get from these nightmares."
Kate and I continue to talk back and forth for over an hour and a half. By the time 7:30 rolls around we have sorted through everything that has built up within me emotionally. After thanking her tremendously for staying late in order for me to come for a session I gather my stuff as does Kate. She ensures I am in a good enough mental state to drive home without worry before we head downstairs to the parking lot together.
The drive home passes far too quickly for my liking. I sit in my car for a few additional minutes to take a breath before walking into the house. At first I thought I was fine, however, the moment I lay eyes on Ian I break down to tears once more.
"Lucy, baby? What's wrong?" Ian worries in confusion at my sudden outburst. He pulls me into a tight hug pulling my quivering body into his. Sobs rake through my body as I desperately bury my head deeper into his chest.
"Where were you honey?" Ian tries to coax me in order to figure out what was happening.
"I went—," I pause chocking on a sob. "I went to see Dr. Collins. Make me forget Ian."
Ian pulls his head back a bit to study my face. "Make you forget what?"
My fingers clutch onto his shirt warranting there is not even a centimeter of space between us. "I need you to take me upstairs to our bed and make love to me all the way into oblivion."
Stepping up onto my tiptoes I press my lips against his in a hungry manner. "Make me forget today Ian. Make me forget," I whisper softly against his lips.
"But Lucy… What is going on?"
"Ian, please?" I whimper not wanting to talk right now.
"Okay," Ian replies in a hushed voice.
Without any further questions Ian leans down to grasp ahold of the backs of my thighs. With my arms secured around his neck and my legs wrapped around Ian's waist he carries me upstairs to our bedroom just like I asked. Taking me straight over to the bed, he lays me down gently, pressing many kisses to my lips. Our hands work together with ease shedding every article of clothing.
"I love you, Lucy." Ian murmurs against my lips.
My fingers run down his sides instantly feeling relaxed at his bare skin against my own. "I love you Ian, so much."
As always, Ian does just as I ask. He made love to me until my mind was blank with oblivion. Soon I am fast asleep in my husband's arms enjoying a peaceful night's rest. I know I'll have to explain everything to Ian tomorrow, I am just pleased he didn't push me to talk tonight.
This chapter is pretty emotional on Lucy. I ended up cutting out a big chunk of this chapter because I felt it was too rough emotionally. I believe the chapter still flowed really well without it. I was just worried about it being hard to read because it was such a heart wrenching and emotional part. Any who, how'd you guys like it? Do you think Lucy was right to ask Ian to do what he did in the end?
I am in the midst of writing chapter 21 and I think you all are going to enjoy the contents of that chapter for sure. ;)
On a side note, Little Baby Harding is coming sooner than you all think. Any guesses?
Thank you so much for all the reviews! Once at 455 I'll post the next one. :)