I know, I know. I'm not very good at this whole updating malarky. But, i'm back! And with two new chapters! I'm trying to write as much as I can because I'm so keen to carry on with this story but then I re-read the stuff i've written and i just HATE it so i'm constantly deleting whole chapters and then starting again. It's very frustrating but please know that I am trying.

Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and messages. I'm glad you're all hanging on in there and enjoying this weird little ride!

I hope you enjoy these new chapters! Let me know what you think!

Big kisses! xxx

"Keep quiet." Soap grinned up at me. "I don't want any nosy dog walkers coming over to see what the noise is."

I glanced out of the window. It was raining. Hard. "I'm not sure many people will be out walking their dogs now, Soap, and even if they were, I doubt they'd be able to see anything anyway." I grin down at him and kiss him hard. "Besides..." I pull away. "You're the loud one here."

He laughs and we're kissing again. I never really realised just how roomy my Range Rover was until Soap and I both decided that we just had to get completely naked and have even more sex before we got to Gaz's house.

Have you ever tried to get completely naked in a normal sized car?

It's hard work.

But in the Range Rover, it was surprisingly easy.

So that's where we found ourselves.

Butt naked, in my Range Rover, pulled up at the side of the road.

His hands grip my hips, and he pulls me to him, readying himself against me. I want to gasp into his mouth as I feel the hard outline of his body beneath me from where I'm straddled on his lap but i'm suddenly feeling stubborn.

I am not noisy.

Five minutes living in the same house as Charlotte and he would discover exactly what it meant to be noisy.

"There's no way I was the loud one." He told me, breaking our kiss. "I'd say it's a tie."

He was trying to appease me. "Erm, it almost certainly wasn't a tie." I sniffed. "Besides, I don't believe in ties. They're for people who are too afraid to lose." I raised an eyebrow at him and grinned. "And we both know how much I love to win."

He rolls his eyes and positions himself underneath me. All I'd have to do to take him inside me would be to allow it to happen. But, because I'm stubborn. I'm completely refusing to until he admits that he's the loud one.

He lifts his hips, as if to remind me that he's ready to go. I tense my legs, grateful for all those squats that I've done over the years, and move myself away from him just enough.

He laughs and the sound makes me melt. "What's wrong, Lo? Scared that once I'm inside you that you'll actually see how noisy you really are."

There's a challenging gleam in his beautiful eyes. I smirk and whilst I don't verbally accept the challenge to see who can stay quieter, I keep my eyes locked with his and lower myself onto him. We both gasp simultaneously, but that's the only noise that passes between us.

This is going to be fun.

He pushes himself in all the way and his hands meet my back, forcing our bodies together. The only sounds we make are heavy sighs and even heavier gasps. The sound of the rain pelting down against the roof and windows of the car highlight the intense silence between us.

It's hot.

So fucking hot.

We're both trying hard to keep quiet. I can see it in his eyes. And as a result, we are clinging onto one another with desperation. His arms are around my waist, gripping me so tightly that it's hard to move. My arms are wrapped around his neck. We're barely moving now because of the tight grips we have on one another, but I like it.

We carry on for several minutes locked in our embrace rocking steadily against one another, both afraid that if make any sudden movements that the other one will lose it.

One of his hands rests at the small of my back, while the other meets the back of my head. He takes a handful of my hair and gently tugs until my throat is exposed to his mouth. I wince the second that his lips meet my neck as staying quiet is proving more difficult than I ever thought it would. Especially as he was at the advantage given that our position meant that his hands could roam wherever they wanted.

He must have had a light bulb moment when his hand finally pressed itself between my legs. It was a sure fire way to victory.

The dirty cheat.

His fingers find the exact spot that they're looking for and I tighten my grip around his shoulders. The action destroys our slow and steady rhythm and his mouth meets mine in a frantic kiss – one with more need and force than any kiss before it. It's as if our mouth are expressing what our words cannot.

I'm suddenly hit by a sensation that ripples through my body, and I have to lift myself off of him and hold still before I completely lose it. He ignores me and applies more pressure to me with his hand. I bury my face against his neck and sink my teeth into his shoulder. It stops me from moaning his name. I feel his legs stiffen and hear the hitch in his breath and I know that he almost loses it.

Almost.

His fingers work furiously against me, hitting all the spots that he knows will make me moan and scream his name. I don't want him to win.

Or maybe I do?

Maybe I don't want to win anymore because all I want to do is groan and call his name and let him know that what he's doing is really fucking good.

He breathes against my neck and gently lowers me back down onto him.

John.

John.

John.

He can sense that I'm close to ending our competition and applies more pressure with his fingers while his teeth and tongue meet my ear lobe.

Oh shit.

I'm going to lose.

I want to lose.

He lifts his hips when he pulls me against him, forcing an involuntary 'John' to escape from my mouth along with a gasp and a deep moan. I lift off him again but knowing that he's won, he exhales deeply and pulls me down with more force.

"Finally." He groans, breathlessly against my neck. "I didn't think I'd make it another second."

With the competition over, we both let loose until we're being so loud that we have to kiss again to stifle the screaming..

We're moving in sync, speeding up and crashing harder into one another. The intensity is building up inside of me. I can't take another second. It's all too much.

"Lola." He looks me deeply in the eyes. They're laced with a hard determination that makes my insides knot. "I want us to come together."

Well, holy fucking hell.

I hope he's close, because he can't expect me to last much longer if he's going to say stuff like that. I nod at him, my mouth suddenly unable to form any kind of sentence.

"You're nearly there?" He asks, his eyes gleaming.

I nod again. No words still but a groan that makes him frantically pick up the pace.

"That's a yes?"

Yes. God, yes.

"Tell me you're nearly there, Lo."

I manage to utter a small yes before my body tenses and he sucks in a sharp breath. We're clinging onto one another so tightly that I no longer feel in control of my own body. It feels as though we are one person, magically sewn together, feeling the exact same tremors and feelings and making the exact same noises while experiencing the most intense climax that anybody on this planet has ever felt.

We begin to slow as the tremors subside and the tight grips loosen. He buries his face into my hair and exhales deeply.

"I knew I'd beat you at something eventually."

I smile into his neck. "You cheated. We didn't agree that hands were allowed."

He laughs. "I'd challenge you to a rematch but I know what you're going to say."

I push myself up away from the crook of his neck and focus my eyes on his. "That has to be the last time, Soap."

He nods.

I had said that sentence five times already today. We had made the most of the hotel room as I had suggested we did but now that we were heading back to base it really couldn't continue.

He knew that. I knew that. There was no other way to look at it.

He reached up and stroked his hand across my cheek before pulling me towards him.

God, I loved his mouth.

Our lips part before he lifts me by the waist, depositing me back behind the steering wheel. He hands me my discarded clothes and I begin dressing. He's watching me as I pull my plain black t-shirt on over my head.

"You have sex hair." He said, grinning.

I laugh and attempt to comb my fingers through it before eying his mohawk. "You're looking a bit dishevelled yourself."

This was the part about our strange little relationship that I liked the most. There was never any awkwardness.

But, it was also our downfall.

Before we had been taken by the sudden urge to strip off and fuck like rabbits, Soap and I had been discussing the Russian problem and what we thought the next steps in the campaign would be. Then he had looked at me and expressed how he had never had sex in a car before. And the rest was history.

It was too easy for us to jump between friends and friends with benefits but knowing what I had to lose, I hoped that both he and I would be able to reign it in completely.

I really, really, REALLY enjoyed sex with him.

But, I enjoyed my job and being a part of the SAS more.

He had to understand that.

I gave him one last look before I put the car into gear. "Next stop. Gaz's."

The meaning in my words hung over us like a fog. It was an explicit end to all our carnal activity.

He nodded his head. "Gaz's."

Four hours, a roast dinner and two helpings of chocolate cake later the three of us were back on the road and heading up to base.

Dinner had been tense, to say the least. Gaz's oldest daughter, Fawn, had recently acquired her first boyfriend at the tender age of sixteen, a fact which Gaz was none too pleased about. Within ten minutes of us stepping into the house the two of them had been at each others throats due to Fawn's insistence that when she attended her High School Prom at the end of May, that she and her friends would be spending the night in a hotel.

She denied it, of course, but it was obvious that her charming boyfriend, "JC" would be spending the night with her.

"I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WITH TEENAGE BOYS AND TEENAGE GIRLS WHEN THEY STAY IN HOTEL ROOMS TOGETHER." Gaz raged.

It took every conceivable part of my body to not look at Soap.

We both knew what happened in hotel rooms.

A warm feeling pooled in my stomach at the thought of exactly what we had gotten up to in my hotel room.

"HE ISN'T GOING TO BE THERE!" Fawn screamed back.

"DAMN RIGHT HE ISN'T!" Gaz fired. "AND NEITHER ARE YOU!"

The argument ended when Fawn retreated to her room, slammed the door with such a force that it knocked a picture frame off the wall and proceeded to treat the rest of us to a very loud playing of all of Taylor Swift's most miserable songs.

I really hadn't realised that there were so many.

Back in the car Gaz was still furious.

"She thinks I'm stupid." He told me. "She thinks that I never went out and did all of the things that this prick is trying to do to her."

I shrugged. "Maybe he's a nice guy and you're just jumping to conclusions."

He side-eyed me. "He's an eighteen year old lad."

"So what?"

"So when I was an eighteen year old lad, Kate and I had already had Fawn." He threw his head back against the seat. "And you know how babies are made."

I turned to him wide eyed. "No. I always assumed the stork brought them?"

He gave me a reluctant smile. "All I'm saying is that Kate and I spent a lot of time doing the exact same thing that I don't want my sixteen year old daughter doing."

"And you don't think that Kate's dad went through the exact same feelings that you're experiencing right now?" I laughed. "You don't think he wanted to protect his little girl from her crazy testosterone filled boyfriend?"

Gaz sighed. "You're supposed to be on my side."

I turned to him. "I'm always on your side, but I'm trying to tell you as somebody who is completely unbiased in this scenario, that the more you tell her not to do something, the more she's going want to do that thing." I shrugged. "It's just how girls are."

He groaned loudly. "Why couldn't I have had lads instead?"

I laughed. "Because you clearly have super feminine sperm." He glared at me. "You're going to have to get used to it Gaz. You've got another three that are going to grow up and do the exact same stuff as Fawn."

"I'm going to retreat to a desert island and live there until they're all thirty."

Soap, who was in a food coma in the back of the car gave an involuntary snort. Gaz turned to look at him.

"He's asleep, isn't he?"

I looked in the mirror. "Seems that way."

Gaz sighed. "Good. Because we need to have a chat."

My stomach dropped. I could tell by the tone of his voice that I was going to be the subject matter and I really, really didn't want to be.

"I'm saying this because I love you." Gaz told me. "And I'm so used to you being around now that I don't want you to go." He looked at me, imploringly. "So understand that when I tell you that whatever is going on between the two of you needs to stop, that I'm saying it from a good place."

I debated denying it, but Gaz had this inane ability to be able to see right through any lies that I told. I guess it came from the days when we had been training together and he'd watched me completely break down as I pushed my body and mind, to extremes that I wasn't sure they could handle. He knew me better than I knew myself most days.

"It has stopped." I told him. "It was a one time thing."

More like an eight time thing but hey, who's counting?

Me. I was counting and silently gloating.

"Good." He was putting on his tough dad voice.

"How did you know?" I asked him. I wasn't aware that I had made it obvious. In fact, I had made a conscious effort to make it as unnoticeable as I possibly could.

He stared at me. "Something about the two of you has just changed. I can't put my finger on what it is but it's just different."

I nodded but remained silent.

He sighed. "You're not going to fall in love with him are you?"

I pulled a face. It seemed like a strange question to ask. Nobody planned on falling in love, did they? It just happened. Love wasn't a plan. It was a feeling. It was the best feeling. It was that sense that no matter what else was happening in your shitty little world that as long as you had this person by your side, everything would be okay.

"Not intentionally." I told him. It was as honest an answer as I could possibly give under the circumstances.

"So you're just going to stay away from him then?"

My eyes flicked to the rear view mirror and settled on Soap's face. I couldn't just stay away from him. It wasn't that easy.

"No." I looked at Gaz. "Because I don't need to stay away from him."

"Lola-"

"- What did I just tell you?" I interrupted him. "Just because I'm older doesn't mean the rule changes. The more you tell a girl she can't do something, the more she's going to want to do it."

He held his hands up to me.

"Soap and I have already both agreed that it's never going to happen again and that's as far as this goes." I gave him a look and he glared back at me. I laughed. "Gaz, if your stern dad look doesn't work on Fawn, then it's certainly not going to work on me."

He sighed deeply and threw his head back against the restraint. "I just can't believe she has a boyfriend."

Inwardly, I felt relieved. My mention of Fawn had worked a treat. Gaz's sweeping anger had moved back to his darling daughter ad her impending sex life. My eyes flicked to the rear view mirror. Soap's eyes shone back at me. My stomach sank. He gave a small nod. My heart ached as I took in the look in his eyes.

We both knew it wasn't going to happen again but it didn't make it any less hard. Beside me, Gaz was twittering away about how he wanted to pay JC a visit. I ignored him and flicked my eyes back to the road. I didn't want to look at Soap again because if I did, I'd have to acknowledge the heavy feeling in my chest that I was trying my hardest to ignore.