a/n: Helloooo (like Zetsu). Am I awesome or what? Another friggin' chapter up again! Thanks to those who put me on their fave list, I'm inspired to write once more.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, sadly, but I do own this real cool mug that has Naruto's name on it.
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Chapter Four
The New Bunshin Technique
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Naruto collapsed for the third time that day.
"BREAK!", he cried.
His friend; Sasuke, soon followed suit, though in a much more, dignified manner.
"I think we should take a break", he panted, repeating what the blonde had said. Naruto glared at him before turning on his back; breathing even harder.
They were currently on the school's soccer grounds, and though they had been training non-stop for the past five days (whenever classes let them, of course), Naruto found himself still unable to perform the bunshin technique.
If any, he seemed to be getting worse at it.
"Damn, I've never worked this hard before", he groaned, "I think I can count almost every bone in my body."
He tried to sit up but failed halfway and crashed back to the ground.
Sasuke eyed him surreptitiously, "There's got to be something you're not doing right."
"You've said that a thousand times already, Sasuke."
"You have only two more days left, Naruto."
"I know, dammit!"
Sasuke simply shrugged before easily getting to his feet.
"I have to head home now. Itachi's working on my sharingan and I'd like to rest up before he gets back."
Naruto threw a bored wave over his shoulder.
Now alone, the blonde felt his mind go into overdrive.
Despite his outer demeanor, he was scared. At first, he'd thought getting the bunshin thing down would have been a breeze but now - five days into training - he still hadn't achieved jack-squat.
What was wrong with him?
Naruto couldn't afford to not become a mercenary. There was no other life out there for a street rat like him. He wanted to fight, dammit. He lived to fight, and damn all things to hell that would get in his way! These were his thoughts exactly before the shadows descended over his face.
"Wha...?"
The hairs on his skin immediately stood on end and it was instinct alone that forced Naruto to spring-roll, deftly avoiding the metal bat that would have easily shattered his cranium had it connected.
"Not you fuckers again."
Maybe Itachi was right, he really was a magnet for trouble.
Before him were the bullies, or the 'three Stooges' as he had so articulately named them. Evidently, they had come back for revenge and they hadn't packed light. They were all dressed in full football gear (helmet included); their brutish leader wielding said bat, while his goons juggled steel bars in their respective arms.
"We've finally got you alone, you bastard!", his attacker roared; bat trembling with rage within his fist, "We were watching from the shadows, waiting for your pretty friend to leave and now, you've finally messed up!"
"Look, guys", Naruto said drolly, trying to pop an aching shoulder,"This whole trouble is 'cause of some girl, right? Well, I'm pretty beat right now so maybe, we can make a truce or something? What if I told you that I drilled the chick without a condom? Or that I came all over your backseat and that hot ass of hers because she preferred to do it anal..."
"You fucking BASTARD!"
The blonde smirked as he dodged the blow, his foe having easily taken the bait. Nobody was watching now, so he figured he could go all out... and that flimsy armor wasn't going to protect any of them.
The first one he took out was the idiot with the recovering knee-cap. It was pretty easy and he achieved it in four, quick steps:
Move in close (check).
Duck under swing (check).
Snatch steel bar from hands (Double check).
Bust knee-cap.
This time, though, he busted both.
He then vaulted over the chest of the fallen foe and threw the weapon with incredible force at the face of the next attacker. The length of steel bounced off helmet with a force that snapped the wearer's head to the side, but it was all the distraction Naruto needed, as he side-stepped the irksome metal bat again, before delivering a lethal punch-kick combo to the exposed rib of his set target. The fool went down without a sound.
The leader was just recovering from his second swing by the time Naruto finished this and the blonde glared at him; eyes slanting somewhat eerily to mimic the shape of a fox's.
"We can do this two ways, bonehead", he warned truthfully, "Either you drop the bat and walk away as dignifiedly as you want or, I beat the crap outta you right noe before sending you screaming naked all the way up to your momma. Either choice you make, your girl's still got a hot mouth", he taunted, "I would have kissed her if she didn't enjoy licking my ass too much."
The brute charged recklessly again but Naruto didn't duck this time, choosing instead to flash-forward, knocking the boy's helmet off and dislodging teeth with a single powerful punch.
"You're a bloody merc, aren't you?", the wounded senior asked from his position on the ground.
"Yeah, I wish I was", Naruto replied, glancing pitifully at his adversary,"I really can't help being an asshole so please, don't feel too bad. It's simple world order, y'know? The strong will beat the weak into the dirt and life goes on, yadda yah. That's just the way it is. I got beat around pretty much often too before I finally learnt that lesson. So, stop attacking me, would ya? It ain't making life any better for you or fo' me. If your woman is loose, just dump her and go for a new one - straight As, small boobs, thick spectacles, you know the deal", he then leered suddenly, loosing the understanding look all at once, " - 'Cos you can't stop me from creaming Kimi's wet panties anytime I want, and hell, you can't stop half the whole school. So, quit picking on me. Next time you do, you'd do more than just lose teeth, I swear."
And with that, the blonde picked his bag and walked away - feeling giddy with his effort at making the world a better place.
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Naruto snuck into his apartment through the roof. He did so to avoid his landlord whom he had spotted arguing with a hooker just outside the building. He didn't need any of such shit right now.
His apartment, if he could even call it that, was a mess. The plaster was mouldy and rotting. Mice scampered about within the walls. There was a giant hole in the ceiling (wherein he had climbed in from), and a part of the ground had been flooded with water for weeks; probably from a broken pipe or something. The place really was a global, health hazard.
Despite this, it was what Uzumaki Naruto called home. It represented the beginning of his independence and although he had amassed enough money to afford a slightly better one - he couldn't abandon this dump just yet, for it was a sharp reminder of why exactly he had to become a mercenary.
He had a few, random, expensive objects littered about - from his glorious days of theivery - and upon opening the floorboard beneath his futon; wherein he stored all his valuables, he realized he was indeed running low on money since he had stopped taking jobs in ages.
So, grabbing a bag and a few valuable objects around, he again vaulted through the roof, his black headband on and I-pod in his pockets; Obeisance's 'The last don in hell' playing softly in his ears.
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Shiranui Genma was a busy man. During the day, he worked as the keeper of a local pawn shop somewhere in the downtown areas of Konoha.
At night, it still said 'pawn shop' on the outside but that was only genjutsu; to keep the cops away - the area having been long transformed into a strip club and one of the most rugged red-light districts ever seen this side of the Fire Nation.
It also served as one of the various 'secret' offices of the Oniwabanshu, and mercenaries came and went at intervals to collect mission assignments and bounties, so that Genma remained indeed; an important, retired - but still serving - self-dependent mercenary.
In his career both as a surfer and as a merc, the thirty-something year old man had come across a large number of people, but none quite as eccentric or bi-polar as the young man who walked into his shop that night, a knapsack slung over his shoulder.
"Hey, Naruto. How's the mercer thing going?", Genma greeted over the din of resounding music.
"Seriously? Not good. I can't seem to pull off the Bunshin thing."
"Ouch. Had problems with that one too during my day", the man said, rolling a senbon around in his mouth, "Anyway, I got something that might cheer you up. There's some dirty dancing going on out back and dude, you totally want to be in there right now. Want me to hook you up with a nice girl or something?"
Naruto gave his once father-figure a rather stale look, "You for one should know I've never been interested in any of the strippers you've got working here... or members of the opposite sex, period. Stop trying to break me in. I've already done that myself."
Genma raised his hands in a calming motion, "True words, but some senior mercers decided to make this place the spot! And there was this crazy snake-lady and this red-eyed chick giving a lap dance and a boob-job to anyone who was up to it!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"Okay... so, maybe I was kidding about the boob part but, seriously dude, it's like your best opportunity to talk to big-time mercenaries and find out some of the grime behind the grind."
"I think I'll pass", said Naruto, dropping his sack onto the hippie's table,"I'm here for business."
Genma nodded, taking on a more serious persona and playing, once again, with the senbon between his teeth.
"Alright, half-pint, but I thought you said three months ago that you wouldn't need the work again? I'll see if there's any available low-rank, unauthorized assignment that the mercers don't wanna take. These local Yakuza are getting increasingly demanding."
"Not that, Genma!", Naruto snarled, "I'm through with working those half-assed, piss-poor, low-paying sorry excuses for missions that your company regularly throws out. If the gangsters can't afford mercs, they should use thugs of their own! I'm here to trade, rather."
Genma raised an eyebrow, "You mean the spoils from your working days? Let's see what you got."
He then opened the sack and pulled out a sheathed tanto from within. The scabbard was sleek and rich, and upon drawing the sword; a goldem blade shone in its wake, masterfully handcrafted. Genma let out a low whistle.
"Wow, you've outdone yourself, half-pint. Where'd you get this from? Even ANBU don't carry shit half this good and I doubt I've seen anything like it around here."
Naruto grinned in reply, "Trade secret."
Genma shrugged and retrieved another object from the bag. It was clear crystal and shaped in the form of an orb.
"What the fuck! A telescope! Why in the whole of hell would you want to give this away?"
The blonde shrugged, "Cos I need the dough?"
"You're a strange one, Naruto."
"'Sides I don't know how to work that shit. For that matter, I only just learned it's name."
"Yeah, it's an old shinobi artifact that is actually pretty handy. With just a bit of chakra, you can hone in on the signature of anyone within a preset area. Think of it as a live feed without setting video cameras. Stuff like this shouldn't be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. It's the ultimate scrying technique."
Naruto didn't bother mentioning that Genma would simply sell it to whomever bid the highest price.
The final object in the sack was a handbook on basic taijutsu. Naruto had decided to toss it in when he discovered he had no talent for such conventional stuff. It wasn't worth much but the form within...
"Krav maga?", piped Genma, "That's a bit rare. Some fresh genin might have some use for this." He then added it to his tally.
"Okay, the most useful stuff here was the telescope. It's worth its weight in gold, I'd give you that", he muttered, punching on a calculator, "The sword is definitely not from this era, I don't even want to know which museum you stole it and the handbook's an added bonus. Let's see what I can trade you for all that then."
"What?", Naruto roared, "Don't give me that shit, Genma! I'm here for money!"
Naruto knew how these 'pawn shops' truly operated. The owner usually had a unique clientele interested in quaint and forbidden products. His job was to swindle the people in possession of such products (who did not know their worth) and sell it at its true value to those in search of it. Naruto patronized Genma because... well, despite being a mercer and the sole source of the blonde's employment, Naruto knew the man was also relatively honest with him. That and he was practically family. However, the blonde needed material cash and he doubted that anything Genma could pawn him off would equal the value of what he had just tabled.
"Whoa, chill out, Naruto", urged Genma placatingly, "It's just a bit of a slow day, is all. I would have offered you cash but the little I have here wouldn't even come close to scratching the worth of that telescope alone."
"Well, I'll come back when the day is a bit faster", huffed Naruto, packing his goods, "Or maybe, I'll just turn all these over to Itachi and become a local hero for uncovering lost treasures or something."
"Woah, hold on a sec, half-pint. Which Itachi exactly are we talking 'bout?"
"The Uchiha... Why?"
"So, you're telling me that you know Uchiha Itachi. The Uchiha Itachi."
"Yeah, so?"
"Dude, do you watch the news? That guy's the bane of mercenaries, Konoha-wide. The golden boy of police! He's put more mercenaries behind bars than they are actually signing up. People don't even speak his name around here."
Naruto wanted to scoff and say that Itachi was a prime example of how every Oniwabanshu mercenary should be before remembering that only members of the Uchiha clan - and by extention; him - knew about Itachi's status as a double agent, therefore he kept his mouth shut.
"You should watch the company you keep, Naruto", Genma continued, "Don't go messing around with that guy. Even grown-ass mercs try to avoid battle with him whenever they can. It's just a matter of time before the higher-ups deem him a threat, then ANBU will be flooding his ass."
"Thanks for the heads-up, dude, but it doesn't change anything. I'd see if I can find some other pawn shop that would be genuinely interested in what I've got."
"Don't you even want to see what I have first?"
"No", Naruto deadpanned, "Last time we made a deal, I ended up with an alarm clock that doesn't even work."
"For the last time, it uses electricity!", Genma yelled, "Besides what I have here would like, totally blow your mind away!"
The pawn keeper then began to recount his goods, "I've got a shuriken that can never stop spinning, the autographs of the first four Hokages, a summoning contract for giant ants, a half-full soda that the fourth had drunk. . ."
"See ya later, Genma."
"… and a solution to your bunshin problem."
That got Naruto to stop right in his tracks.
"What are you talking about? I swear if this is another trick, I will..."
"No trick, half-pint", said Genma, walking some ways away from his desk to retrieve a small case hidden behind a wall, "This is an S-rank jutsu, photocopied straight from the pages of the famed, forbidden scroll. The owner left it with me as a deposit some time ago... but last I heard, he was killed on some mission in Kumo. The scroll's been with me ever since."
"And why are you giving it to me?"
"It's, like, time to pass the torch, y'know? Besides, you are bringing a pretty good offer to board."
"Goodnight, Genma."
"Hold on!", the ex-(but-not-so-ex)mercer stuttered. "The real truth is that it's a bit of contraband, even by Merc standards. I would be killed if I was found in possession of such an article."
"So, you want me to be killed instead?"
"No! You can use it then burn it after you're done!"
Naruto looked at the box suspiciously, "I don't know. I'm not exactly sure that it's worth the money."
Genma deadpanned, "It's an S-rank jutsu, Naruto. S-rank . Few jutsu out there are classified thus. Plus, it's a bunshin technique. I'm sure they'll allow you to pass if you can achieve such a feat."
"An S-rank bunshin technique" surmised Naruto, wrinkling his nose,"If I can't even get the D-rank one down, how d'you expect me to learn this one? In two days, no less."
"I don't know. You're the unpredictable one. Go figure. Look, if you still don't want it, I'd just pack it back in and..."
"I'll take it! But only with the addition of a monetary fee."
Genma smirked, "Nice try, Naruto, but it's all or nothing with this one."
"I know how much my stuff's gonna fetch you, Genma", the blonde frowned.
"And I know how much mine's gonna help your career. I haven't even opened the case yet - here's the key - but the only time I've ever seen this jutsu been used, it was totally bad-ass."
Naruto scrunched his face as he pondered the deal before him. He needed money but to be frank - there were still tons of other things that could be pawned off in his apartment. And although he hated to admit it, Sasuke was gradually leaving him behind in their race to attain power. His friend was currently mastering Uchiha clan techniques and all Naruto had was hap-hazard taijutsu and his own unique version of the henge.
In the end, his goal to become a mercenary, by all means, won his heart over.
"Just give me the goddamn case, Genma, and Kami help you if you tricked me."
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"Taijyu Kage Bunshin", uttered Naruto, reading the contents of the scroll aloud. He was donned in a wife-beater and pajamas, and despite it being the dead of night, was once again sitting in the middle of the school field.
The neon lights provided the only source of illumination for the blonde as he squinted at the scroll, eyes narrowed in frustration.
The Taijyu kage bunshin was an incredibly complex jutsu with lots of requirements and contra-indications.
The upside was that it seemed relatively easy to perform - at least, as far as he could tell - from the numerous diagrams and flow charts drawn all over it. His only worry was that he wouldn't be able to master it within two days.
"Warning", he continued reading, "Would result in death if attempted by persons with less than massive amounts of chakra and stamina. Chakra is divided equally among number of clones created. En-masse feedback from clones have been known to cause mental and physical trauma, Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder, loss of sensory perception, manic schizophrenia, nausea... Persons with history of MPD should refrain from... blah, blah blah."
Naruto quickly skipped the unproductive talk. Skimming through the pages, he happened upon another bit of information.
"Kage bunshin can act independently of the user if he so chooses. These are not holograms nor clones but breathing copies created in the caster's image and likeness. Clones are dispelled - not killed, upon physical impact and they inherit all of the user's attributes; including speed, strength, stamina, skill, intelligence, speech, experience and sexual ability."
Naruto paused after that, "Wow. This technique's fucking unbelievable! I can't imagine the look on Sasuke-teme's face when I show it to him, heh-heh."
He then cast the scroll aside and got up, crossing his fingers in the hand-seal demonstrated within. Then, channeling a large amount of chakra and trying desperately to mold it in the manner depicted; he scrunched his eyes, grit his teeth and yelled,
"Taijyu Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"
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Next chapter; the Oniwabanshu recruitment begins, aaaaand we'll be seeing more of Kyuubi and the other members of the Naruto cast. So, on one sad note, see you next week. Going to visit my cousin in Suna :)