Chapter 27: Out of Step

There had been a time when Lisanna had felt in perfect harmony with the world. Life was a dance, and she had always danced it with joy because living was a beautiful thing. It was something to be savored and celebrated. And like all dances, she knew it had an end, but the fact that it was finite just made it all the more wondrous. Celebrate life because no one can ever know how long it will last. Lisanna had danced in time with the universe, and life hadn't been perfect, but it had been grand.

And then anima had scooped her up, and for the first time in her dance, Lisanna stumbled. And that was all it took. Even after she returned home years later to Earthland, she never quite found the rhythm again. She was always a step behind the other dancers, and it was so terribly lonely.

Lisanna was one of the few wizards who had fought Raven Tail and come out relatively unscathed. She had just gotten lucky, really, in her opponents. The fact that the one woman had had a terribly rude Edolas counterpart whom Lisanna had always wanted to punch in the face just made things easier. It was the first time she'd been able to use her powers in a fight since she'd returned. For just a moment, Lisanna had felt like she was part of a whole again.

But then that moment had ended, and she was left feeling even emptier than she had before. It was wonderful to be home, but… this wasn't exactly her home anymore, was it? She had been dead and gone, and just like it always did, the world had moved on. No one was quite who she remembered – not even Mirajane and Elfman or Natsu. In a way, it broke her heart. Everyone had moved on without her.

Lisanna shook her head, trying to dispel her gloomy thoughts. There was no time for that right now. Porlyusica and Wendy were being run off their feet even with all the help from the doctors from the hospital. Lisanna was helping in what little ways she could. Right now that meant helping the injured guild members who could not feed themselves. There weren't too many, thankfully. Most, like Elfman, were so cocooned in bandages that they couldn't use their hands. Two wizards had broken both their arms. And then there was Bickslow, who had been blinded. The tray of food in her hands was for him.

Bickslow's cot was one of the few that had curtains around it for a touch of extra privacy and just in case the poison caused some sort of delayed side effect on his figure eyes. The rattle of the curtain rings also let him know when he was no longer alone.

Lisanna pushed back the curtain. Bickslow had his eyes closed and appeared to be asleep. His wooden dolls were nestled on the pillow around his head. The bruises around his throat had turned a dark, ugly purple. This was the first time she had seen him since rescuing him in that alley.

"Are you awake?" she asked quietly.

"Yup," came the immediate response, "just not much point in keeping my eyes open if they're not actually doing anything." Bickslow grinned and opened unfocused, red eyes. "It's Lisanna, isn't it? Have I got the right voice this time?"

"Got it in one. I brought lunch. I got you a roast beef and cheddar sandwich with mustard."

"Hey! My favorite!" Bickslow pulled himself into a sitting position and turned his head in her general direction. "How'd ya guess?"

"Guess! Guess!" murmured the wooden dolls, but they didn't move from their place on the pillow.

"I didn't guess – you told me," Lisanna smiled.

"Really?" Bickslow looked surprised. "When?"

"When you- Oh, hell, I'm so sorry." Lisanna felt her shoulders sag. "It wasn't technically you who told me."

"Ah, you learned my secrets while you were traversing the strange backward universe. Good to know I have good taste in sandwiches no matter where I am. Come," he patted the edge of his cot, "hand over that sandwich, and regale me with tales of your adventures."

Lisanna let out an indelicate snort.

"Regale you?" Most people had lost interest in hearing about Edolas after asking about what their alternate selves had been like.

"I can use fancy words when I want to," Bickslow sniffed. "After all, I've been on the same team as Freed for years. Just don't tell him I said that – he'll start thinking that I can be taught or something. Anyway, I'm bored out of my mind! Freed and Ever are injured, Laxus is sleeping off the backlash of doing Fairy Law when you're not actually a guild member, I can't read or play cards, and my babies are many things, but they are not good conversationalists. I'm going nuts here. Well," he amended, "more nuts. Think of it as an act of mercy. Besides, I'm curious."

"Well, alright, I guess." Lisanna sat down on the edge of the cot and set the tray and sandwich on his lap.

Bickslow felt out the shape of the sandwich with gentle fingers and then picked up half.

"My only request is that you tell me if I end up wearing any of my lunch – mustard and roast beef is just not a good look on me."

"Of course."

"Excellent. Story time!"

And so Lisanna told him. She talked about rivers in the sky and floating mountains and dying magic and winged cats that people thought were angels. She talked about a Mirajane who had always been sweet, an Elfman who cried over almost anything, a Natsu who was a complete wimp unless he was behind the wheel of his car, a Levy who screamed at everybody, an Erik with an incredibly sensitive constitution. She talked about a guild on the constant brink of destruction and always on the run but still trying to help. And she talked about death and how she had learned to fear the shadow of a woman she had once looked up to and a group of brave people more than half gone by the time anima had finally stolen Earthland's Fairy Tail.

When Lisanna finally stopped, her voice was starting to go hoarse and Bickslow's sandwich was long gone. Lisanna had been staring at the curtains most of the time she'd been speaking. Bickslow sat quietly for a moment and then murmured,

"Do you miss them?"

Her head snapped around to stare at him, eyes wide, because no one – no one – had asked her that. Not once since she had returned.

"Y-yes. I- I- I do." Her eyes began to well. "I really do!" And Lisanna burst into tears. Because even though Edolas had been strange and not really her world, they had been her friends. She had loved them like the family she had been torn away from in Earthland. It didn't matter that she had never quite fit in, because she had spent two years loving and grieving with all of them and being ripped away from them even after she'd decided to stay had shredded her heart. And then she'd been home, she'd had her brother and sister back – not the other Lisanna's – but it was only to discover that Earthland wasn't really home anymore either. Nothing was quite the same – she wasn't quite the same – and nothing ever would be again. But Lisanna had kept up appearances for Elfman and Mira, and nobody had ever asked if she was happy or if she missed Edolas, because why would she? She was home. She must be happy. But she wasn't. She missed Edolas and the other Fairy Tail like an ache in her heart. She had survived a war with them, but she would never be able to see them enjoy the peace that came after. And the world she had come home to was almost as alien as the one she had left. There was no place left for her anymore.

It was a relief to finally let go of the façade that she was alright.

"Oh, shit! Are you crying? Did I make you cry? Did I say the wrong thing? I'm really good at that." Bickslow reached out, found her shoulders, and then reached up to hold her face. He wiped away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs. "Yeah, I made you cry. Sorry. Ever usually just beats me with her fan if I do something particularly insensitive." He paused as a thought apparently occurred to him. "Feel free to go ahead and slap me, by the way, if I'm being too forward here. I just remembered that I'm not really supposed to go around grabbing people's faces. Oops."

"No, it's okay." Lisanna grabbed his hands before he could remove them. In Edolas, holding someone's face between your hands was a common way of comforting friends and family. With all the losses in Edolas's Fairy Tail guild, it had been a constant in her life for the past two years. She had missed this. "You said… just the right thing."

"Well, that's a first," Bickslow grinned and stuck out his tongue. "Don't ya ever talk to anybody about what happened?"

"No. No one really asks, and… I don't want to upset Mirajane and Elfman. They're still half waiting for me to disappear any time they turn around." She finally released his hands, and he let them fall away.

"Well…," Bickslow hesitated, looking awkward, "if ya ever needed to talk, I could, you know, listen."

"Are you sure?"

He waved a hand dismissively, and then subconsciously tugged at the cuffs of his long sleeves. Lisanna's eye caught the faint edges of old scars peeking out around his wrists.

"Yup. Don't want to keep stuff like that bottled up inside – your soul will crackle. And a soul like yours definitely shouldn't crackle."

"A soul like mine?"

"Uh," Bickslow faltered. He obviously hadn't meant to say that bit. "Yeah. Bright. Shiny. Lotsa little rainbows. …Um, this is the part where people usually start freaking out."

"Why? It sounds fascinating."

"Because everybody finds my soul sight freaky. Even Laxus. It usually gets us kicked out of bars."

"So you've never had anybody to talk to about your soul sight?" Lisanna asked.

"Noooo…."

"I'd like to hear more about it."

"Really? Are you running a fever or something?"

"No, but it does sound really interesting, and if you'd ever be willing to tell me about it, I'd be willing to listen, too." Bickslow didn't have an answer to this – he was too busy gaping. She grasp his face between her hands and touched their foreheads together. "Thank you for listening… and for asking. It helped." She sat back. The tips of Bickslow's ears were tinted pink.

"Was that, uh, was that an Edolas thing?"

"Yes. It's a way of properly thanking friends."

"Oh…." He looked slightly baffled. "You're welcome."

"I need to get going. Mira and the others are going to wonder where I've gotten to." Lisanna stood. "I'll stop by again later to make sure you don't go mad with boredom."

Bickslow nodded firmly,

"Good plan. I like this plan." He stretched out on his cot again. "Remember to rattle the curtain rings when you come back!"

"I will." And Lisanna left with a genuine smile and a lighter heart than she'd had in more than two years.

A/N: Thank you to both of my guest reviewers from last chapter!