a/n: I apologize for the super long delay with posting this chapter. I recently lost a family member, so that brought everything to a screeching halt for quite awhile. I haven't forgotten this story though! I hope some of my readers are still around. =) Here is the long awaited chapter from Eric's POV!

Chapter 15

EPOV

I was vampire once again. My memories of a thousand years worth of living had returned to me. Yet the most vivid ones were from my last few months of life, surprisingly spent as a human. Once we arrived back at my home Pam explained all that had happened. A witch named Hallow had tried to strike a business deal with me months ago and tried to include sex in the bargain. It was a horrid business deal in which I would have lost money and she was a sad excuse for a woman. I snubbed her and the curse was my punishment. However once Pam captured and tortured her brother he was pissed to discover I lost my memories as well. That was not supposed to be part of the spell. He finally gave up his sister's location and Pam slaughtered him with glee.

Then she found his sister and tortured her until she reversed the spell. Pam being my faithful child, kept Hallow alive so I could kill her myself. In fact that was where I was headed right now. The darkness of the bar basement did not hinder my sight in the least. If I was human I would have been tripping over my own feet, in fact I had done exactly that only days ago. I shook off those thoughts. I had no time to dwell on my brief stint as a human man. I had business to take care of.

Pam had locked Hallow up in the basement of a bar we were renovating. There were plans to open it as a vampire bar someday, if the plan to come out to humans ever happened. For now it was an empty building with a great basement for torture. I reached the bottom of the steps and strode up to Hallow. She was chained to the wall, her arms in cuffs above her head. There was dried blood all over her fair skin which was covered in sweat and dirt. She was weak and her breathing shallow.

"Good evening" I reached out and prodded her with a metal poker. She gasped and her eyes flew open.

"Bastard" She hissed at me, her dull green eyes narrowing.

"Bitch" I smirked back. "Did you really think you could best me? I am a thousand years old, I am more powerful than you could ever dream of being. Your childish behavior has resulted in the death of your entire coven, including your brother." This woman was a fool to think my child would not retaliate, or my followers.

"You arrogant-" Her words were cut off as blood bubbled up her throat and out of her mouth. I twisted the metal poker I had just stabbed into her chest.

"I do not want to hear another word out of you." I muttered then ripped the tool out of her flesh. I would not chance drinking her blood since it could be cursed as well. Pulling out my cell phone, I sent a quick text to Chow so he would come dispose of the body.

I was hungry though and darted upstairs with blood on the brain.

"She's taken care of."

"Good, I was sick of listening to that bitch whine all fucking night." Pam led the way out the back door of the bar.

"Thank you for not giving up on me Pamela." I used her full name so she knew I was serious. My child had a snappy little attitude on her, most of the time I loved it. We were standing in the back lot of the bar and she turned to face me.

"You know I could never do that." Her eyes spoke much more than her voice ever would. Our bond was deep and something very few would ever understand. "Now let's get some fucking pussy." She gave me a fangy grin. That was my child.

"As you wish" I smirked and we jetted off into the night.

Hours later I had glamoured and fed on some woman I found at a nearby pub. Unlike Pam I did not take my food home with me to play. In the past that would have been a perfect way to spend my night. However my thoughts were still with the tiny blonde that had taken care of me during my time as a human. I flew out to her house and hovered a good distance away in the night sky. I could see the lights on in her home.

Everything was familiar. I remembered walking up to the door like a lost puppy, asking for her to give me a chance when I had no one else. She let me in and took care of me, the same as she had when I was a patient at that hospital she worked in. My time at the hospital seemed so distant compared to the vivid memories of being in her home. I could recall feeling the heat of the sun on my skin as I helped paint her porch, or the sweat dripping down my back as I worked on the road crew with her dim-witted brother. I enjoyed the food she cooked, the sound of her laughter, and the warmth of her body each night we fell asleep.

These were all things I had not experienced in such a way in a thousand years. For the second and definitely last time, I was just a human man. I had a heartbeat, breathed, could spend hours in the sun, and fall asleep at night next to someone.

I spotted movement in the house and noticed Sookie getting ready for work. Something tightened in my chest as I watched her wipe at her face with tissues. Tears, they were still falling from the corners of her eyes. I remembered making love to this woman and telling her that I loved her. Did I still feel that? Or were those just the feeble emotions of a human man? That I was not sure of but I did know one thing: Sookie Stackhouse was a telepath and my glamour had not worked on her.

This was a troublesome thought but rather than try to kill her I soared back towards my home in Shreveport. I did not call Pam again that night. She had her own home nearby and I felt like being alone. I needed time to process. However I was not given that time as there was soon a knock on my door.

"What is it?" I questioned in a bored tone as Chow stepped inside.

"There is a long list of vampires with grievances, or seeking entry into area 5 since your… departure."

I grumbled a few curses and told him to follow me to my office. I did not miss the political bullshit during the last few months. It was something I would always have to deal with and now I was behind. When Chow started going over all that I had missed I realized I had a lot of work to do. If Chow knew of this much crap I could only imagine the list Pam had for me. I knew they had pretended I was helping my maker heal from silver poisoning to explain my absence, so no one tried to take over my territory. That left me with a shit ton of work to do. It looked like I was starting tonight.

A couple of weeks later things were finally starting to settle down in Area 5. I had gone through all of the vampires seeking entrance to the area and dealt with numerous grievances that were usually ridiculous. Some were about stolen pets, others about conflicts with werewolves. All of it was unimportant and solved rather quickly. I was beginning to find my life to be more mundane than before. I was bored by my job as usual but now I could not even find interest in food or women. After two very lackluster fucks I settled on feeding only. Even that I only did as necessary which was not too often considering my age.

Pam could tell I was not the same. Hell, before I could have been with a different woman every night and still not be satisfied. I took great pleasure in feeding as often as I wished. But now it all seemed less attractive. She had not questioned me yet because it had only been two weeks. She assumed I was still settling into my life again, I could sense it through our bond. However I was starting to suspect there was a different answer to my problems. When I returned home to die for the day every morning my last few thoughts were about the petite blonde human who had helped me when I was lost.

Instead of looking back on my time as a human with disgust, I discovered I missed it. I missed her. The one thing keeping me from ever seeking her out was my secret life. I was a vampire and I could not risk being around a human that could not be glamoured. At the moment she probably brushed it off as thinking she was dreaming when seeing my fangs briefly. If I tried to return to her she would notice my cold skin, how I never ate, and only came around at night. It would never work with how secretive my kind was. Another fact was that she would probably be petrified of me. I clearly remembered the fear in her eyes and voice the last night I was there.

So I tried harder to force myself back into my life. I tended to business in my area and always remained aware of the growing movement to make our presence known. I used to be completely against vampires going public but lately I found myself weighing the benefits of it. I had yet to tell Pam or anyone in my area that these annoying thoughts were flitting about my mind. I used to be a cold-hearted and logical being. Yet now I was letting my feelings affect my decision to go against or support the movement.

All of this revolved around Sookie Stackhouse, a human nurse from Bon Temps. There were things about her I would have valued if I met her before ever being cursed. Her telepathy for one and I surely would have be interested in her physically… probably for nothing more than a few nights entertainment though. Yet since I had spent all of that time with her I did not take advantage of her ability. Instead I told no one and refused to go bother her for such a reason. She could not be glamoured therefore it was pointless to try and involve her in our world for her telepathy, that was the excuse my mind came up with. However I knew how she felt about it. She wanted to be normal therefore going to see her just to use her for that purpose bothered me.

Every night I spent my time alone when I was not working. My mind drifted to my short time with Sookie and even though it killed every ounce of pride I had to admit it, I missed it.

"Eric, lets go." Pam strode in like she owned the place.

"Since when do you command me?" I raised an eyebrow at her from behind my desk. I was sitting in my small home office.

"Since you've become boring as fuck." She said as if she was stating the obvious. My child was lucky we got along so well otherwise I would not tolerate her bullshit. "Now let's go."

"Where?" I still had my feet up on the desk.

"Out! Feeding, fucking, you know what we used to spend every night doing?" She was obviously agitated.

"You will be fine finding food and entertainment without me Pam." I had seen her do it millions of times before. Pam was independent. It was one of the attractive traits that first caught my eye over a hundred years ago.

"What's with you?" She snarled. I could tell she was at the end of her rope with me. If I was in her shoes, I would be pissed off as well.

"Nothing, I have business to tend to." I stood up and flew out of the house in a rush. In fact I had nowhere to be and turned down a perfect opportunity to hunt with one of the only vampires close to me.

I jetted off into the night with no real direction and wasted an hour or two in the night sky. Eventually I ended up in the familiar, quiet air just above Bon Temps. Below me I could see one of the roads Jason and the road crew must still be working on during the day. I had spent hours with that crew setting up hay bales and fencing so water would drain out properly once construction began. It felt like a different person was down there working amongst those men. Normally I would scoff at them and insist I was above them all. I would also find their line of work to be demeaning since I was Eric Northman, sheriff of Area 5.

My thousand years as a vampire had slowly pushed me up the political ladder in our world and as I ranked up the years I rarely had to do any work like that. I had all of the vampires below me, or hired weres to do that type of thing. I never once thought about how doing something yourself could give you more pride than knowing you had the power to tell someone else to do it. I was so used to enjoying my status and power in my world… I was beginning to realize I had been very stuck in my own ways.

Did I let the power of immortality infect my mind and values?

I kept flying and soon could see Sookie's house in the distance, set off the road and nestled into the woods.

During my original human days I remembered being proud to have built my own home. I felt great pride in bringing home food I had hunted for myself, seeing the relief on my family's faces that we would live another week. I had also enjoyed the status of being the son of the village leader and eventually leading myself. But I always had my family to balance things out and back then even the village chief had to get his hands dirty. I was starting to realize my brief time as a human man had taught me a hard lesson, one that was having a hard time sinking in.

Without knowing it I had let my immortality change my way of thinking and what mattered. I no longer bothered to try and make someone smile or laugh. I did not build anything with my own hands, nor did I care about anything other than power, blood, and sex. There was Pam of course, who I would do anything for… but even that relationship could probably use some help.

Even though I was considered one of the most respectable and fair vampires in the world, I was questioning myself. There were others out there far worse than me, who killed anything in sight and used their power to force other supernaturals to do their bidding. I at least always paid any werewolves, shifters, or witches who assisted in whatever mess Pam and I were trying to get through. Octavia would be getting a large check soon for all she had done. Pam said she was quite useful in getting my memories back.

I landed softly on the front lawn and heard Sookie inside the house. Beyond my values and beliefs, my time as a human had shown me I could still feel things. I was vampire again and still feeling them this very second. I suppose I had feelings all along but it took a telepathic nurse to make me stop ignoring them.

As I made my way up the steps of her front porch, I had no real plan of what I wanted from this encounter. Did I still love this woman the way I did as a human man? Could I ever be that man for her again? Most of all would she even give me a chance to speak? Sookie knew I was not human and she was smart enough to be afraid of me.

I raised my hand slowly and knocked on her front door twice. I stood there waiting and knew if I had a heartbeat it would be racing.

a/n: Hope you guys liked it! Please share your thoughts! Lets see if Sookie answers the door next chapter...