So far so good for my 2016 New Year's Resolution!

And because i'm feeling generous you can have two new chapters! Blame it on Valentine's Day turning me into a big gooey pile of love. The first one is kinda short and is just a bit of background about The MacTavish clan but the second one has a little bit more action!

As always, let me know what you think!

I hope you all had a lovely Valentines Day (or Galentines Day if you're a fan of Parks & Rec) :)

Extra big kisses!

xxx

"Masts? Mats? Moving vehicles?"

"Nope, nope and nope."

Soap sighed loudly. "I give up. Tell me."

I laughed. "Mohawk!"

He side eyed me. "You are not good at this game. Mohawk?!"

"What's the issue?"

"So far in the game you've spied my mohawk, my eyebrows and my fingernails."

I stared at him. "And?"

"And they are terrible choices!" He laughed. "I can't bloody spy my own mohawk for a start."

"The game is called I Spy." I reminded him. "And I can spy your mohawk." I paused. "And your eyebrows and your fingernails."

He laughed and shook his head. "Remember when I said, 'Let's play some car games so this eight hour car journey would go a bit quicker?'" I nodded at him. "Yeah, I regret that."

I pulled a face at him. "I can sing again if you'd prefer?"

He groaned. "Anything but the singing."

I feigned pain, clutching my hand to my chest. "Sometimes your words hurt me, Soap."

"I mean, it's not your fault." He said. "You're weirdly good at everything else." He looked at me. "So in-car entertainment had to be your downfall."

I glared at him. "Hey, you're the one who wanted to drive! I was all up for flying."

"Pffffft."

I looked at him. "Care to repeat that?"

He laughed. "Flying schmying." He grinned. "One of the best things about Scotland is the scenery." He gave me a look. "And the fact that I'm from here."

I smiled and stretched my legs out onto the dashboard. "Handsome and modest." I said. "You are quite the catch."

"So I've been told."

I looked at the satnav. Half an hour left. We had agreed to split the driving down the middle. I had done the first four hours and Soap was doing the second four hours. We had left the barracks at 9am and had so far managed to avoid any kind of traffic which was an absolute miracle considering that it was two days before Christmas.

We had planned to leave at 6am but I had been forced to endure an hour long dad-esque lecture from Gaz, who was less than impressed that I had actually agreed to go to Scotland with Soap. He didn't seem to understand the predicament that I had been in and how Price had essentially forced my hand, leaving me with no choice but to accept Soap's invitation. Realising that I wasn't going to agree with him, Gaz had then decided to stand over me while I packed my case to ensure that I packed respectable clothing. Our relationship had been tested to its absolute breaking point when I had dared to include a black lacy g-string amongst my underwear and Gaz had suffered a full on nervous breakdown.

I now understood Fawn's predilection for drowning out Gaz's shouting with Taylor Swift.

I got why he was worried. I really, truly did. But him ranting and raving like a mad man was only reminding me of everything that had happened between Soap and I. Incredibly annoying when I had spent the past eleven weeks trying to do the complete opposite.

Have I mentioned how hard it is to just forget that night? Because it's really hard. Actually, it's pretty much impossible.

BUT... That didn't mean that I wanted it to happen again. I had cornered Soap the next day and made it clear that my acceptance of his invitation didn't mean that I was about to fall into his arms.

"It's not like I would be able to get away with anything with my mam and dad around." Soap had told me. He had paused, a frown on his face. "In fact, I honestly don't think I've ever even managed to get a girl alone in my room, let alone have sex with one in there." He looked at me. "And I know you think that you can do anything when you put your mind to it Lo but Mammy Mac isn't going to let you corrupt her precious son."

I had pulled a face at him. "I've already corrupted her precious son."

He laughed. "And that's that, is it?"

I nodded. "Yep."

"Well that's fine by me."

"Good." I looked at him. "So we're agreed? No sex."

He nodded. "No sex."

Was it bad that I kind of wanted him to put up a fight for the right to have sex with me again? I mean... I had given him all my best moves. You'd think that I'd have left him wanting more. Not sent him running into the friendzone for refuge.

I stared at him. Half an hour left to go and I had exhausted all means of keeping myself entertained. It wasn't that I couldn't spend an eight hour car journey in silence or anything, but I was trying to distract myself because every single time I looked at him driving my car, y'know, the same one that we had used for some pretty great sex, I was overcome with the urge to rip the clothes off his back and do it all over again.

Which was so NOT what the friendzone was all about.

"So tell me about your mum and dad." I said, my eyes zoning in on the muscles in his forearms as he clutched the steering wheel.

Hey, you know you got it bad when even his forearm muscles are getting your knickers wet. It took all of my strength to divert my gaze. I vowed to keep my eyes on the road from now on.

"What do you want to know?"

How they made such a fine specimen of human?

"Everything. The whole shebang. The full enchilada. Go."

He gave me a weird look. "Sometimes I think that you're normal and then I speak to you for longer than an hour and I realise that you're actually batshit crazy."

I shrugged. No denying it.

"Aren't we all a little mad?" I paused. "I mean, think about what we do for a living." I kept my eyes on the road. His forearm muscles were calling to me but I wasn't going to give in. "This time last week I was torturing a man for information." I smiled. "And now here I am on my way to Scotland to spend Christmas with the family of a man who has seen me naked."

He laughed, loudly. "That's definitely how I'm going to introduce you to my mam and dad."

I smiled to myself. He adjusted his position before looking at me. I held myself steady, my gaze on the open road until he sighed and turned away.

"So my mam and dad." He started. "Blair and Edan. They were school sweethearts. Together since they were thirteen. Married at eighteen. I came along nine months later. Dad was in the para's. He went through selection but broke his leg doing endurance." I winced. It was hard not to. Endurance was not a memory that I liked to relive. "His leg was fucked after that so he was discharged. We moved up here and he started up a carpentry business."

I listened to him talk. The change in his voice was obvious. His words were clipped, sharp. I sensed that he was extremely protective of his family and didn't relish having to discuss them with me. I recognised the change as it was the same process that I went through whenever my own was brought up. Parents? Dead. Siblings? Estranged. That was as far as I went and the lads had, thankfully, learned to stop asking.

"My mam is a teacher in the local primary school."

I sensed it was the end of his sharing.

But it didn't deter me. Oh no, I was made of stronger stuff than that. Besides, I was about to spend Christmas with these people. I was entitled to know about them. I'm sure that questions would be asked of me, so it was only fair.

"She likes kids then? Your mam?"

Soap nodded. He flexed his arms as he changed his grip on the steering wheel. I watched the muscles popping from the corner of my eye.

Good grief.

"Loves them." He paused. "They wanted more but they were only young and my dad was trying for the SAS so I think they just put the idea on hold for a while and when they came to try again after my dad was discharged they found out that there had been some complications during my birth and she couldn't have any more."

"That's a shame."

He nodded. "I always wanted a sibling. Especially after I got into the Para's."

"Why?"

"All of her friends have got grandchildren now and I always feel like I'm letting her down. I know there's a part of her that would love for me to have just stayed at home, got some boring office job, settled down with one of the local girls and popped out a couple of kids but that was never me." He sighed. "I mean, I know I'll do all of that one day-"

"-Even the boring office job?" I interrupted.

I couldn't picture Soap in an office job. Mostly because that mean picturing him a suit and that went against everything that I was trying to achieve in keeping our relationship a sex free zone.

He laughed. "God no." He smiled. "But the wife and the kids." He paused. "I think it solidified it more when I met Gaz's family."

I nodded. "I love them. Especially Fawn. I don't think Gaz sees it yet but she is essentially a younger, female version of him. She's a good kid. She's going to go far."

"I don't know how he spends so much time away from them though." Soap said. "I mean, I'd never be able to leave for months at a time like he does."

I straightened up. "I think he's looking for a way to spend more time at home."

I knew exactly what Gaz was trying to do and how he was trying to do it, but that wasn't a conversation which I was allowed to have with Soap yet. As much as I had gone against Price's rules in the past few months, I knew that the one regarding the secrecy around the future of the SAS wasn't going to end up the same way.

"I hope he manages it."

I nodded. "I think everything will work out as it's meant to."

A silence fell across the car as I processed Soap's words. It would be so easy to tell him everything that Price had planned. I'd love to let him in on the private chats that the Captain and I had but he wasn't ready to hear it all yet and better yet, it simply wasn't my place to say anything.

"What's your perfect day?" he asked.

It was a strange question, especially when delivered in such an out of the blue manner. I looked at him and he turned to me with a laugh. "It's not a trick question, Lo. I just want to know. You've got one last day on the planet. What would you do?"

I turned to look at the road. "Ideally I'd spend the day with Steve and Charlotte and we'd spend the entire day in bed watching films and then we'd get a pizza." I shrugged. "And because it's my last day alive apparently, I'd want to have sex. Lots and lots of sex. I'd do all those weird positions that you read about in Cosmo. The ones where they use barbie dolls to recreate them because no actual human can bend their body into such odd angles." Soap laughed and I turned to him. "Hey, you asked."

He held a hand up. "I'm not saying anything." He gave me a look before turning back to the road. "This is my favourite part of the drive." He said, his face suddenly animated.

I shuffled in my seat so that I was sitting up straight. He had been right about the scenery. It was like we were driving through Narnia. The road was lined with huge, towering conifers and the ground was completely covered in snow. Gorgeous white snow. Not the stuff that you'd get in London that would turn grey and slushy within five minutes, but pure white beautiful snow.

I loved snow. It's part of the reason that Price always volunteered me for the Russian intelligence missions. I would never complain about the cold. My dad had always told me that snow was magical and to this very day, I truly believed it. Do you remember when you were younger and you would go to bed in one world and wake up in another? Snow was enchanting and something about it just calmed my soul. I loved the idea that it just came down from the sky and changed everything. So it was no wonder that when we reached the pinnacle of the hill that we had been climbing for the past mile or so that my heart was suddenly in my mouth.

It's hard to describe the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by something. Hard to put into words how the sight before you fills your stomach with butterflies but that's exactly what happened.

It's not that I hadn't been to beautiful places before. I had. I was fortunate that it was part of the job. I had watched the sun rise while I flew over the alps, I had camped out beneath the Northern Lights. I had sat on top of a mountain overlooking Lake Baikal in Serbia... I had witnessed so many things that I knew others wouldn't.

But arriving into the small village of Braemar was like entering another world.

It was like something from a film. My heart thudded against my chest as my eyes devoured the sight of the beautiful town, covered in a thick blanket of snow with the most incredible mountain range in the background.

It was a postcard. A picture perfect postcard.

"Pretty isn't it?" Soap asked.

I didn't look at him, but could hear the smile on his lips. He was watching me, as I stared into his village like it was the second coming of Christ.

"Why the hell did you ever leave this place?" I asked, shaking my head. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm going to drop out of the SAS just so I can move here." I turned to him. "Do you think Price would mind?"

"Probably." Soap laughed.

I turned back to the village, my eyes scanning across to the mountain range. "I'm going to hike up that before we leave."

The car started moving again, not that I had noticed that we had stopped.

"That's Edan's favourite thing to do." Soap said. "So I'm sure he'll be your hiking buddy."

I turned to him. "And what about you?"

He shrugged. "I can do that in my sleep."

I rolled my eyes. "Again with the modesty."

He laughed. "That mountain the reason that I was able to finish Endurance. I'd run up that at least once a week."

The car swept around the small streets and my eyes tried to take in all the sights.

"I don't think I've ever seen you look this happy." Soap chuckled. "It's pretty adorable."

I attempted to glare at him but my expression was one of pure unadulterated joy. I couldn't contain it. The car turned up a small path and my eyes focused on the cottage in the distance.

"That isn't your house."

He laughed. "Yep. Chez MacTavish."

"It looks like Hansel and Gretel's house!" I jumped up and down in my seat. "That's it. I'm moving in with your parents. Do you think they'll mind?"

Soap shook his head. "Probably not. My mam has always wanted a daughter."

"She can adopt me if it means that I get to live here."

He pulled a face. "That would mean that I'd seen my sister naked."

I grimaced. "Point taken." My eyes fell back to the cottage. "But look at the smoke coming from the chimney!" I clapped my hands together. "I think you can learn to forget seeing me naked."

The car stopped and he looked at me. "Not likely."

The way he said it made my insides twist together. We stared at one another for a few seconds.

You could cut the sexual tension with a spoon.

My body was betraying me and leaning towards him. It was pure magnetism and I just couldn't fight it.

Thankfully, he could.

"Wait here for a second." He said, opening the door.

I nodded, swallowing heavily, willing my heart to start beating at a normal rate as I settled back into the passenger seat. The air was thick with my desire for him.

I had to reign it in. I had to get through the next few days without letting Soap MacTavish into my pants.

He slammed the door shut and crunched through the perfect blanket of snow towards the front door which was adorned with the most adorable wreath that I had ever seen.

The MacTavish family home was the stuff of dreams. All beautiful grey stone and the most amazing thatched roof. The windows were bathed in a warm, orange glow that flooded my insides with gooey feelings.

The front door opened before Soap could reach it and a man ran out towards him. The two embraced warmly, arms wrapped around one another, their faces a picture of unadulterated glee. There was no doubt that this was Edan MacTavish. The resemblance was truly uncanny. He had tears streaming down his cheeks. A woman appeared at the doorway. She was small and dainty with these perfect facial features that lit up as she smiled. Soap moved to her, scooping her up in his arms and twirling her around until he lost his footing and the two crashed to the floor in a fit of giggles.

Oh. The feels. The horrible, achy feels.

The three of them huddled together as both parents took turns in touching Soap as if making sure that he was actually real.

"Your hair!" His dad howled. "God, we made a good looking lad. Look at him, Blair! Just look at how handsome he is."

"Thanks old man."

I sunk into my chair. I wanted to become a fly on the wall so that I could watch this perfect family as they reunited. It was the single most heart warming thing that I had ever witnessed. I didn't want to get out of the car. I didn't want to ruin their perfect moment. I was an intruder on their time together.

As if reading my thoughts, Soap turned towards the car. His parents eyes followed. I knew that they couldn't see me due to the tinted windows but still I felt like a deer in the headlights. How would they react to me?

I, Lola Jacobs, was officially nervous.

Soap beckoned me.

"I've brought a friend home." He said to his parents. "I hope that's okay?"

"Of course it is!" His mum said.

"One of the SAS lads?" His dad asked.

Soap gave a sly grin. "Kinda."

He was playing Price's trick on them.

God dammit.

"LJ!"

Bastard.

I opened the door and stepped out into the cold. I saw the looks on their faces before they had time to change them.

It wasn't shock.

It was recognition.

They knew exactly who I was.

I walked towards the trio.

"Mam, dad... This is Lola."

I wished that my legs weren't shaking. I felt like Bambi.

"Hi." I grinned sheepishly, stopping in front of them.

"So this is the infamous Lola." His mum stepped towards me, breaking the abject silence. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

A real, genuine hug.

It had been a long time since I had been hugged this way by a woman. She tightened her grip on me and I squeezed her back with the same gusto before she released me.

"It's so good to meet you Lola. I'm glad you're here." She smiled and walked back to Soap, slotting herself under the crook of his arm. He grinned and kissed the top of her head. She beamed at me.

Edan moved in front of me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"My boy has not stopped talking about you." He grinned before stooping down to hug me. "You're quite the revelation and I bet you've got some stories to tell me!"

I nodded into his shoulder and my eyes met Soap's. I raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned back as Edan released me.

"Now, shall we all go inside before she freezes to death?" Soap laughed. "She can't spend seven years in the SAS just to die of hypothermia because you two won't stop hugging her."