Update 2 of 2 :)

Big shout out to my neighbour, Alan who was the inspiration behind Soap's nosey neighbour!

Big Val/Galentines kisses! xxx

"Soooooooap."

"Go away, Lola."

"But Sooooooooooap..." I whispered in his ear.

He groaned and shifted his body so that I was no longer splayed against his back. He reached out towards his nightstand and grabbed his watch. One quick look at the time and he was groaning again.

"Lola, it's 6am."

"And?"

"And we were up drinking until 2am."

"You were up drinking until 2am. Your dad and I were up drinking until 3am." I paused. "Because we're hardcore, unlike you, the man who fell asleep at the kitchen table."

He groaned and pulled his pillow over his head, "Go awayyyyy." he hissed.

I sighed and pushed myself up so that I was sat at the end of the bed.

"I guess I'll just go for a hike by myself then?"

"Ding ding ding." He grumbled, flipping onto his side so that he was facing away from me. "We have a winner."

"Oh, you're so bitchy this morning." I grumbled as I stood up.

"I am not bitchy. I am hungover and I do not appreciate being woken up by you coming into my room and throwing yourself on top of me."

"Point taken." I swept over to the door. "I'll just go and wander around a mountain by myself. If I get lost and die, tell Price that I loved him the most and I want him to shave off his moustache in my memory."

"So beautiful, yet so strange." He mumbled.

I ignored him and left the room, creeping back into the first floor corridor, eager not to wake up Blair and Edan who were sleeping in the room opposite.

Given the amount of whiskey that Edan had consumed the night before, the last thing I wanted to do was wake him up.

Things had started out pretty normally. We had eaten dinner together and both Edan and Blair had listened with rapt attention as Soap and I had talked about the jobs that we had been on since he had joined the SAS.

And then it was my turn.

His parents had wanted to know everything about me and I, unwaveringly honest about my life, had obliged. They knew about my parents and how they had died, they knew that I had three brothers that I despised and two nieces that I had never met following my last interaction with George and his insufferable wife, Shay. They knew about Steve and Charlotte and how much I loved them. They had asked for an insight into my soul and I had given it to them. It was the least I owed given that they had opened up their home to me.

At some point in the night I had excused myself and gone to the bathroom and when I had returned, Blair had been waiting for me in the hall.

She had wordlessly stepped towards me and engulfed me in her arms.

It was the type of hug that I would give Charlotte or Steve. The kind where you held on for dear life and squeezed them as if you were afraid that they would break right before your eyes and that your arms were just about the only thing holding them upright.

"You are unspeakably brave." She whispered in my ear. "So, so brave."

It may have been the drink, or just the sheer fact that her action had caught me completely off guard, but without warning there was a lump in my throat and my eyes were lined with unshed tears. I relaxed into her embrace and we stood, swaying, for a long few moments, until she stepped back and fixed her eyes on mine. I reached up to wipe away a solitary tear that had broken free and she laughed.

"No tears." She had said, admonishing me playfully. "Let's get you back downstairs before my boy comes looking for you."

When we had returned, Edan had already opened the second bottle of whiskey and the night had ended at 3am when I had crawled onto the makeshift bed that Blair had arranged for me on a sofa in the living room. Soap had offered me his room but I didn't have the heart to take him up on the offer as I knew how excited he had been to have a full week sleeping in a bed that wasn't the one had had back in Credenhill.

I walked through to the living room to retrieve my coat and wellies. It was still dark but Soap had, thankfully, reminded me to bring a torch for events such as this. In my drunken state, I had forgotten to charge my phone so it was the only thing that I had that would provide any kind of light.

One last check to make sure that I had tided up after myself and I was out the door, face first into the freezing cold morning.

I was walking for around ten minutes before I heard the voice behind me. One quick flash of the torch revealed Edan. He grinned at me wildly.

"Did I wake you?" I asked, horrified at the thought that I had disturbed his sleep.

He fell into step beside me. "No, not at all! I wake up at 6 every morning." He paused. "Regardless of how much I've drank the night before."

I laughed. "You're a bad influence."

"I've been called worse." He smiled at me. "Besides, you shouldn't really be walking around by yourself. It's dark and you've no idea where you're going."

I shrugged. "I always seem to find my way."

"As true as I imagine that to be, I'm the best tour guide in Braemar, so it's my pleasure to escort you." He paused. "If you fancy the company?"

"I'd be a fool to say no." I grinned at him.

We chatted non-stop as we climbed to the summit of the mountain, eventually reaching the top just before 9am.

"Ah, just in time..." Edan smiled at me, nodding his head towards the mountain range in the distance. I extended my arm out to him as he lowered himself onto the ground, extracting a flask of tea that he had stashed in his bag. I settled down next to him and focused on the spectacle before me.

Beyond its peak, the sun had just begun to rise, illuminating everything beneath it with its burning orange glow. It was the kind of sunrise that you only ever experienced in the winter that was made all the more enchanting with the contrast of the gleaming white snow that dominated every conceivable inch of the landscape before me. The sky was streaked with pink and purple and looked as though it had been created by some stroke of artistic genius.

"Wow.." I whispered.

There was a soft chuckle beside me. "Wow, indeed." Edan agreed. He nudged my arm with the flask and I took it, appreciatively. Now that we had stopped walking, I found that I was absolutely freezing.

"There's no whiskey in this is there?" I teased him, playfully.

Edan laughed. "Unfortunately not." He leant back against his arms and gazed into the distance.

I followed suit, watching at the rest of the sun revealed itself from behind the mountain.

"It never gets old." He said.

I nodded. "For all of its ugliness, the world is a beautiful, beautiful place." I agreed, sighing deeply and resting my chin on my bent knees. "But, I do have to give it to Braemar. Of all the views that I've seen this is probably the best."

"Having never seen that much of the World, I'll have to take your word for it."

I turned to him. "You've never travelled?"

He shrugged. "I did some travelling with the paras but that's about it. Blair and I have never really had the money to jet off to some far flung location. Our honeymoon was in Cornwall. She was 7 months pregnant at the time and I just wanted her to be happy. She's never actually left the UK." He sighed. "I'd love for her to experience more of the world." He shook his head as if to free the images from inside his head. "But we're still only young. We've got plenty of time."

I smiled and turned back to the view making a mental note to bring it up with Soap later on.

"Shall we head back? I'm not sure about you but I'm completely famished."

I nodded and rose to my feet, offering my hand out to him so that he could stand up. I hadn't really noticed the limp that Soap had warned me about but it was impossible to ignore the way that Edan grit his teeth whenever he had to straighten his leg after he had been seated. It reminded me of selection and the unrelenting agony that I had felt whilst completing endurance. The fact that Edan had broken his leg and still managed to complete the course was an absolute testament to his character.

"The boy will be sad that he missed this." Edan said, as we turned back towards the track that had led us to the summit. "He used to climb this at least once a week."

I laughed. "He mentioned that on the drive here. Apparently it helped him to complete Endurance."

Edan nodded and smiled at me proudly. It was a look that I was getting used to whenever Soap was brought up in conversation.

"Did you always know that he was destined for this life?" I asked.

Edan gave a small shrug. "It's a strange thing for a father to admit, but I always hoped that he would end up where he is."

"What's so strange about it?"

"From the outside, it's every parent's worst nightmare – watching their one and only child risk their life day in and day out." He paused. "But for me, I couldn't be prouder." He beamed at me. "Don't get me wrong, I'd be proud of him no matter what he did... but this-" he gestured at me as if I was the embodiment of the SAS. "This is where he belongs. He wouldn't be happy unless he was doing the job that he does."

I smiled at him.

"Do you ever wonder what your parents would make of your life?"

I considered the question for a few seconds before answering. "It's a weird thing to think about, I guess." I looked at him. "I'm not a big believer in fate but the truth is, without them dying, I wouldn't be here today. Their deaths started this whole chain of events so I can't really picture the two things together."

We walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Do you think about them a lot?" He asked.

I looked at him. "It never really goes away." I said, truthfully. "But I'm finding that it hurts less and less." I smiled. "And I know that they're around, keeping an eye on me." Edan turned to me with a look of alarm on his face. "Not in a 'hey, look at that ghost that looks remarkably like my dad' kinda way." I laughed. "It's more like when I hear their favourite songs or, I notice that somebody is wearing the same perfume that my mum wore... little things that only I know."

Edan nodded. "For what it's worth, I can imagine that they would be very proud of how you've turned out."

There was a lump in my throat as I glanced at him.

How was it that Soap's parents knew just what to say? Knowing him as I did, I hadn't supposed that he was raised by monsters but the actual reality was far more than I ever could have imagined. Edan and Blair were the kind of people that were good to the very core and every single word that we exchanged was dripping in sincerity.

I sniffed up and Edan looked at me in panic.

"Oh, I didn't mean to upset you."

I laughed as I wiped away the tear that was rolling down my cheek. "I'm not normally this emotional." I protested. "But you've both broken me down." I gave him a watery smile.

"Both of us?"

"Blair hugged me last night and it reduced me to tears." I laughed.

"Was it that terrible?" he joked.

I shook my head with a grin and mopped up a few more tears that had escaped from my eyes. "The complete opposite, actually." I looked at him. "I'm surrounded by men all the time. Big, blokey men with their big blokey man hugs and apart from Charlotte, I never really get hugs from women. So when I do, they catch me off guard and I'm completely disarmed." I paused. "It's not a bad thing." I added reassuringly. "She just reminds me of my mum."

His proud smile re-emerged. "She's a good woman. The best woman I've ever known, actually."

"You're good people." I countered. "You've both welcomed me in without a second thought despite the fact that this is the only time you'll get with your son for the next few months."

"And I would do it again." He said, his voice firm as if to shut down any nervous feelings that I had.

"Well okay then." I grinned.

We had been walking for just under an hour and a half before he plucked up the courage to ask me the question that I had been waiting for.

"How is he doing?" Edan asked. "Truthfully. Even if he's absolutely terrible I want to know."

I laughed. "Are you asking me to divulge confidential information about a member of the SAS?" I joked. "Because if I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"It'd be worth it."

I considered his question for a minute.

I could trust him with Price's plan. He wouldn't say anything to Soap if I asked him not to.

"He's good." I said, finally.

He sighed exasperatedly. It reminded me of Soap.

"Okay... He's better than good." I conceded. "He's really – pardon my language – fucking good."

Edan looked as though he might burst. "Really? You're not just saying this to make an old man happy are you?"

He was 49. Definitely not old.

"It's the truth." I smiled.

"I don't know why I'm surprised." He ran a hand through his hair.

Apart from the hair, which was dark brown with a salt and pepper effect on the temples, Edan was the absolute identikit of Soap. Apart from his eyes. They were all Blair. Blue and so crystal clear that you could see yourself in his reflection. My stomach jolted at the thought of him and the situations in which I had fond myself close enough to stare into his eyes.

"If I tell you something, can you promise that you won't tell Soap?" I paused. "Sorry – John. You won't tell John?"

Edan regarded me with cautious eyes.

"I mean it." I put on my sternest voice. "You cannot tell John. No matter how much you want to."

He nodded.

"Soap – sorry, John..." I had to remind myself not to use his nickname. It's not that Edan or Blair didn't like the nickname, in fact Edan had laughed hysterically when I had revealed its origin, but it felt more respectful to refer to John by his given name whilst in their presence. "John caught Price's eye long before he got his calling card."

Edan pulled a face. "How long are we talking here?"

"Eight years? Before my time, at least."

"So what took him so long then?"

I inhaled, suddenly aware that I was about to disclose the most classified piece of information that I had in my arsenal. "Do you know much about the Captaincy of the SAS?" I asked, blowing out a deep breath.

Edan shook his head. It didn't surprise me. Not many people did. Only those who had Captained the squad in the past and, in this case, myself and Gaz.

"When it comes to the SAS, it falls upon the current Captain to name their successor."

Edan stared at me blankly.

"And in this case, that successor is going to be John."

Edan's mouth fell open.

"Yep." I nodded.

It felt good to actually say the words out loud.

I had known for a couple of years that this was how the future of the SAS was to be mapped out. Despite the fact that Gaz was Price's right hand man and, therefore, his natural successor, it was John that would be wearing the crown. Gaz had indicated a long time ago that he wanted to leave his SAS life behind in favour of returning home to be with his girls. He was still going to be linked to the military, but in a less demanding capacity. And Price being Price, had decided that he would find his successor from outside the confines of Credenhill.

"My boy is going to command the SAS?" Edan looked on the verge of tears and his smile was so wide that I was surprised that his face hadn't split in two.

"That's the plan." I told him. "But he doesn't know yet and you're not allowed to tell him! This job is hard enough without the added pressure that this piece of information would bring."

It was Edan's turn to look amazed. "Wow." He exhaled. "My boy, leading the best squad in the World." He laughed. "But wait..." He paused. "From what John has said to me, you and Price are pretty close and you're obviously very good at what you do. Why wouldn't you get the job?"

I turned to him with a smirk. "It took sixty years for them to let a woman in and as progressive as the good Captain is, even he knows that the big wigs would never allow it." I paused. "I'd be happy enough as John's second."

It was something that I had thought about a lot in the past few months. Even when I looked past the sex and the fact that I wanted to tear his clothes off whenever we were next to each other, there was a part of me that cared about Soap. Really, truly cared. It was the part of me that wanted to wade into every battle on his behalf, or fight his corner even when he didn't need me to. I don't know that he would ever consider me for the role as his second-in-command, but I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was the best person he could have.

He would have to stop wearing those insanely tight t-shirts though.

I couldn't second him if I was too busy staring at his biceps every five seconds.

"You're smiling." Edan commented, pulling me from the bicep filled trance currently playing in my head. "You're talking about my boy and you're smiling."

"Edan, I-"

"I know, I know... It's none of my business." He smirked at me. "But it's hard to ignore what's happening right in front of me."

I was confused. I was under the impression that I was masking my attraction to Soap, pretty well.

But, clearly, I was mistaken.

"There's a boy from the village who helps about the workshop at the weekend. He's a good lad. Reminds me a lot of John when he was younger. Big, handsome bugger. All the girls in the village are mad about him. I see them when we walk together. Mooning over him with these big sad doe eyes."

Was he comparing me to a teenage girl with a crush?

"One day I asked him, 'You've got all these girls hanging on your every step but I never hear of you dating any of them. Why's that?'" He paused. "And do you know what he said Lola?"

I shook my head.

"He said, 'I'm not looking to sleep around. I'm waiting for my ride or die girl.'"

I laughed. It was such a strange turn of phrase to hear in a Scottish accent as thick as the one that Edan MacTavish had. In the distance I could see the cottage.

"I'm a big romantic, Lola." he said. "Just like my father and his father before him. The Mactavish men, that soft lad of mine included, are the type who are always searching for their 'ride or die girl."

I couldn't help but laugh. It was so at odds with the image that I had of Soap.

"I was taught to believe that love is the best thing in the world. It's horrible and it's painful but oh God, when you meet the person that you're destined to be with, there's nothing that compares. He used to tell me that love, and meeting the love of your life, was like when fire meets gasoline. It's powerful and it's explosive and all consuming and you just have to stand back and let the flames eat you alive."

I was confused. Why was he telling me this? How had our discussion about Soap being the next in line for the SAS Captaincy descended into a talk about burning and ride or die girls.

"Are you saying that John-"

I was interrupted by the emergence of Soap as he hurtled from the door of the cottage like a man possessed.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" He blazed.

I stared at the situation unfolding before me.

I had never seen him this mad.

No, wait scratch that, I had never seen ANYBODY this mad and I had been privy to some of Price's most explosive and, quite frankly unnecessary, rants.

But this?

This was a whole other level.

Soap looked as though he was about to transform into the Incredible Hulk.

There was still around 100m of space between us but I could actually make out a pulsating vein in his neck.

"YOU CAN'T JUST GO FOR A FIVE HOUR TREK UP A SNOWY MOUNTAIN WITHOUT TAKING A PHONE."

I turned to Edan who gave me a small shrug. There was a small smile on his lips. I turned back towards Soap who was closing the distance between us at an alarming rate.

"YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THAT, LOLA!"

Me?

He was mad at me?

Had I missed something?

I looked at Edan who pulled me into a hug. He lowered his mouth to my ear and with a laugh whispered three little words. "Fire, meet gasoline." Soap stopped in front of us, panting as if he had just completed Endurance a thousand times over. "No harm done, lad." He said. "She's safe and sound." Blair appeared at the door of the cottage, folding her arms across her chest with a smirk. "Ah, there she is! The light of my life, the apple of my eye, the spring in my step and the song in my heart."

"Go inside, dad." Soap ordered, his eyes on me.

His tone was jarring and it immediately put my back up.

"Don't talk to him like that, Soap." I snapped.

"DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SPEAK TO MY OWN FATHER, LOLA." He glared at me. "DAD. GO INSIDE NOW." He paused. "PLEASE."

"DON'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT, SOAP." I repeated, my voice rising higher than his. I squared my shoulders up to his.

"What's that love?" Edan shouted at Blair, who clearly, had not said a single word since this whole fiasco had started. "The kettle's broken? We'll I'd better get inside and have a look." He gave me one last glance before scarpering inside as fast as his legs would carry him. Blair looked bemused.

His words were in my head.

If his prediction was right, and I was the fire to Soap's gasoline, he was about to feel the full force of my white hot, unbridled force.

"You knew that I was going for a hike, Soap. I don't get why you're so angry."

"I'M ANGRY BECAUSE-"

"LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT, SHALL WE?" I cut him off, stepping froward so that my nose was an inch from his. "IF YOU WANT TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION THEN YOU WILL DO SO WITHOUT RAISING YOUR VOICE AT ME. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

He stared at me for a few seconds and I watched my reflection in is eyes.

"Soap." I growled, my voice low. "Back off."

It was a warning. He knew me well enough to know that it was the only one I was going to give but he remained unyielding.

"Morning John!" A voice called from the distance beside me.

There was an old man stood at the end of the drive. He was waving enthusiastically.

John exhaled and dropped his head before turning in his direction.

"Hi Alan." He waved back, with much less enthusiasm. His voice was tight and his words were clipped and sharp.

"I didn't know that you were back home!"

"Just for Christmas."

There was a long pause.

"Who's your friend?"

"So nice to see you again, Alan. We'll catch up at the pub later."

Another long pause.

"Is she your girlfriend? She's very pretty."

"OKAY, BYE ALAN."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the cottage, eager to escape Alan and his probing questions. I turned around and waved the cute old man. He waved back and I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing.

I couldn't help it.

There was something hilarious about how our explosive row had been thwarted by Alan, the nosiest of nosey neighbours.

A small laugh escaped from my mouth. Beside me, Soap was joining in. He ran a hand across his eyes. "Fucking Alan." He laughed.

I stared down at our entwined hands and found myself blushing as he laced his fingers through mine.

"Lo..." He said my name like it was something that he wanted to keep safe. His eyes were on mine and I found myself being pulled into the beautiful pools within.

"Soap..."

Something behind me caught his attention, and he was suddenly pulling me up the stairs and towards the bathroom. He closed the door behind me and began to run all of the taps.

"My parents are rivalling Alan's nosiness." He said by way of an explanation, before lowering himself onto the side of the bath. I flattened my back against the door and slid down until my bum made contact with the floor before stretching my legs out in front of me and unzipping the thick padded jacket that had protected me from the cold.

"I was worried about you." He said, his voice so small that I was barely able to pick the words out from beneath the sound of the rushing water.

I looked up at him, my eyes searching his face. He stared back and I felt his eyes skimming over my face in return.

"I always worry about you." He continued.

"Soap..." I sighed.

"I know, I know, you can take care of yourself. You're a strong, independent woman just like Destiny's Child said." He smirked at me.

I gave a small laugh and leant my head back against the door. The room was beginning to fill with steam and all the layers I had used to protect me from the cold were now starting to stick to my skin. I unzipped my hoody, and pulled two t-shirts and a vest over my head so that I was sat in my bra and running leggings.

Soap stared at me with dark eyes.

"Hey, it's your fault that this place is hotter than the sun." I protested, looking up at him.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to break the equilibrium that had befallen us. My skin was becoming increasingly slick and damp with sweat and the steam was beginning to bite at my lungs.

"I think that your dad thinks that I'm your ride or die girl." I raised an eyebrow at him. "And he compared us to fire and gasoline."

Soap dropped his chin down onto his chest and gave a small laugh. His reaction told me that it wasn't the first time that he had heard these two words in the same sentence.

"Am I the fire or the gasoline?" He asked with a coy smile.

I chuckled softly.

The truth was, I didn't have an answer to his question. The two were completely interchangeable when it came to he and I.

"Do you know how hard it is to just sit here and not kiss you?" He asked.

I closed my eyes and tilted my chin towards the ceiling before opening my eyes and looking at him.

"Yes." I said, my voice small.

I wanted him in the bluntest way. I wanted his lips, his hands, his arms. I wanted him the way the ocean wants the shore, constantly reaching and running back. I wanted him the way rain wants to fall, the way the sun wants to shine and the way words want to be read. I wanted him to infinity, to the millionth degree and no amount of rain could douse the fire I had inside of me for him.

But I also wanted him to live the life he was destined for. I wanted him to Captain the SAS. I wanted him to be at the helm of the thing that he had dreamt of since he was a young boy. I wanted his parents to be proud of him. I wanted his life to be easy and without complications.

And that's the thing about fire and gasoline.

The two can exist side by side as long as they avoid a spark.

I pushed myself to my feet and reached for the door handle.

I'm not sure if he tried to conceal it, but Soap's face bore the image of the disappointment that I was experiencing on the inside.

It took all my willpower to unlock the door and step outside into the corridor.

But it was better this way.

He just didn't know it yet.