Disclaimer: Own not Naruto? Yes, I do.
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Ultimate Naruto
Chapter Eight
Intro: The Man In The Black Thawb
Opening theme: Chaiyya Chaiyya (A. R Rahman - Inside man cut)
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Naruto and Sasuke's sparring turned out to be a thumb-wrestle, something that amused Kyuubi to no ends. They were currently sitting in an empty classroom, reclining away from the harshness of the heat outside. Kyuubi had called her parents earlier to let them know she would be coming home soon. All she wanted to do for now was to enjoy the peace and quiet and...
"Where the FUCK is THAT jonin-sensei of OURS?", Naruto screamed, after his two hundred and sixty seventh battle with Sasuke (which he again lost), "I'm running OUT of my FUCKING MIND here!"
Kyuubi furrowed her brows at Naruto's loud tone but she shared his complaints. Every other person had left hours ago, including the instructors; who had told them to lock up when they were done. She was getting anxious and a bit hungry, and she was tired of waiting around. Where in the nine circles of hell could their own sensei have gotten too?
Team four were the first to leave; their jonin arriving thirty minutes after Ibiki departed. He was a young man with short, brown hair and a face protector; probably nursing a nose injury. He also had on a baseball cap which carried the funny logo, 'Konoha kittens'. He looked at Kyuubi, muttered something about Ibiki changing the plan, then picked up his team and left in a small Camry (Sakura had failed in her attempt to attain Sasuke's number before leaving). Naruto had also tried to strike up conversation with the jonin, but the man had scared him off with what Kyuubi thought was an awfully hilarious 'ghoulish glare'.
Still, he didn't look much for a jonin. At least, not as much as the black-haired, red-eyed bombshell who drove in next in a slamming red Ferrari. Kyuubi thought their eyes looked similar and the woman must have thought so too because she sent the girl a sisterly smile. Naruto, however, had made a comment about her probably being weaker the man before; something that irked the redhead to no end. The chauvinist! She had made sure to punish him for that remark.
After team two, team one had been next; leaving six hours ago with a bearded man in a Rover who smoked up a chimney. Kyuubi had wrinkled her nose at him but Naruto had declared him cool; stating that he must be the most experienced jonin thus far. However, the man proved to be just as lazy as Shikamaru when he resorted to bribing Ino (who was trying to ogle Sasuke one last time) into leaving with him and the boys. Kyuubi felt that that team was indeed headed for trouble.
And so was their predicament; well into the afternoon and still yet to catch a half-glimpse of their future sensei, whoever the fuck he may be.
"Maybe he called in sick?", Kyuubi thought aloud, "Or maybe he got called away on a last minute mission or something?"
"Hn."
Naruto's eyes widened, "Wait! Hold on! What if he had an accident on his way here? Or he got apprehended by the cops and taken to jail? What if he just lost his wife? Or a kid? Or a dog? What if HE is a SHE and is currently suffering in the labor room? What if..."
"Shut it, dobe", grunted Sasuke; putting an end to Naruto's hysteria, "You're thinking too far."
Naruto was about to say more when the rumbling of a car forced them to look outside the windows. A well-polished and maintained '69 Chevrolet Impala had just pulled into the compound. Though the car looked well cared for, it was easy to tell by the noises it made that this was one baby that had long since been weaned. The Impala came to a stop at the centre of the yard and the genin subconsciously held their breath as they waited for the driver to alight.
The wait turned out to be one of the longest moments in Naruto's life because whoever the driver was took his sweet time in killing the engine, unbuckling his seatbelt, and shuffling around the backseat, before even bothering to open the door. After that, it took an even longer while before one sandaled foot appeared, followed by another, then. . .
The driver must have forgotten something because he retreated again into the car, to shuffle in his backseat.
"Alright, that's it!", Naruto yelled before jumping through the window and heading for the yard. Sasuke and Kyuubi shared a look before doing the same.
"Hey, buster! You better have a very genuine reason for putting us through this shit! Or I'll be kicking your ass into next week, jonin-sensei or not!"
The man paused at Naruto's voice and stopped his ministrations, steadily climbing out of the vehicle. Kyuubi and Sasuke halted to fully take him in.
He was tall, lean and athletic, in a black thawb, and a shock of silver hair that hung at an awkward angle. However, the strangest things about him were the shawl that hid the lower half of his face and the headband that obscured his left eye. A prayer bead was also visible, dangling from his belt. He glanced at them with a lone, half-lidded gaze before raising a gloved hand in greeting.
"Yo."
Naruto stared incredulously at the man.
"'Yo?' Yo? What the fuck, you arab geek, is that all you gat to say? Who the fuck even wears a black robe in such turgid weath...", but Sasuke had clamped a hand over his mouth to silence him.
"You do know that you are, like, six hours late, mister?", Kyuubi began tentatively, struggling not to let her ire get the best of her lest she end up like Naruto.
The man shrugged and his eye crinkled into a smile, "Ah. That can be explained. You see, I left home without my watch and realized so after about an hour of driving. So, I had to cut back to get it. Then after another hour of driving, I realized it wasn't even working so I had to drive back to the opposite side of Konoha to meet the only watchmaker I knew. After this, my fuel tank was almost exhausted, so I had to stop for a refill. But then, I didn't have coin on me and had to flee a group of angry workers who wanted my tires for ransom. To cut the long story short; which includes three dogs, five chickens and a half-gallon of water. . . I evaded them and eventually ended up here."
The three genin stared dumbfoundedly at the man for a full minute before Naruto screamed 'BULLSHIT!' and hurled himself at him. It took the combined efforts of Sasuke and Kyuubi to hold him back.
The jonin's eye crinkled at the sight, I think I might just like this team.
XXXXXXXXXX
Unlike the other sensei, theirs didn't offer to take them anywhere with him (citing fuel reasons), so they had made themselves cozy in the lecture room, the jonin facing the rookies before him. Naruto was still giving the man a death glare.
"Alright, let's get this over with", the jonin began, "We'll take turns to introduce ourselves and state our likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams and ambitions, I think. So, you first" - he pointed at Kyuubi.
The girl looked at him weirdly for a moment before speaking,
"I'm Hanataka Kyuubi. Fourteen. I like sports, dating boys and doing math. I hate chauvinists and anyone who looks down on women. My hobbies are chatting, reading books and touring the globe; with my parents, of course. I dream of getting married someday but most of all, I wish to become strong enough; so that I will never hurt the people I love."
The last part she said in an undertone that Sasuke and Naruto had to strain to hear.
A realistic girl; strong and very passionate, the jonin thought, She would make a fine mercenary.
"Alright. It's your turn, blondie."
Naruto glared at the man.
"I am Uzumaki Naruto; the king. I love blood, fighting and beating the shit out of irrelevant douchebags. I also love my I-pod and hanging out with senior mercs. I hate you; for making me wait this long but that's okay 'cause I hate tons of other things too; including the society and incongrous jerks who look down on certain categories of people.
My hobbies are training and working the grind and my ambition is to become a bad-ass merc so I can make a ton of gold and ship it to some hidden bunker in Ame. I have no dreams."
Kyuubi looked strangely at the boy though their sensei didn't switch his nonchalant expression.
Like I thought, he would turn out to be some work. Life as an orphan must have been pretty hard on him.
Kyuubi: Wow, I knew Naruto was twisted but this sure takes the cake.
Sasuke: Hn. Dobe.
Subject: Men, can't this jonin guy free us already! The hunger's really beginning to get to me.
"Next."
"Hn. Uchiha Sasuke", the raven-haired boy answered stoically, "The only thing I care about is clan-related and every other thing; I really don't wanna know. My hobbies are training, hanging out, and training. And my ambition is my dream; which is to surpass a certain individual so that they will finally recognize me. I will get that power."
Kakashi: It seems his rivalry with Itachi runs deeper than was rumored...
Kyuubi: When will you ever stop acting cool, Sasuke? Your mum tousles your hair...
Subject: Hn.
Naruto: Four cups of ramen, some milk and eggs. That should be enough groceries for the week...
"Well, now that we are done. We can now move on to..."
"Hold up", Kyuubi interjected, "You never told us anything about yourself, mister."
"Oh? Did I now?", the jonin said, looking exaggeratedly surprised, "Well, if you wish to know, I am Hatake Kakashi."
"..."
"..."
"Well?"
"Every other thing is none of your business."
The three genin gawked at him in shock.
"Okay", Kakashi continued, "If that's all for today, I'd be taking my leave. Meet me here by 7 a.m tomorrow so that I can test you to see if I really want to take this team. Apart from that, Ja-ne!"
He was gone in a puff of smoke.
It was only as his car pulled away that they realized, much too late, that he hadn't even bothered to drop them off.
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"Ohh, my stomach", Naruto groaned.
Kyuubi glared at him, irritatedly, "You're not the only one hungry here, you know? So, quit whining!"
"Er, sor- I-I'm-"
Sasuke saved him from another disaster.
"Where did you say your parents were going to pick you again?"
"Here!", Kyuubi said in a chipper tone, looking around for her father's SUV. "I called them awhile ago so they shouldn't be long."
The Uchiha nodded. It was late in the evening and the sun was barely visible across the horizon.
"Want us to wait with you? Naruto and I have to catch a bus either way."
"What are you talking about? I'm giving you guys a lift!"
"Thank you but I'd rath..."
He was cut short as a green vehicle skidded into sight, throwing a ton of dust and debris on Naruto. Gin shot out of the front seat and pulled his daughter into a ferocious hug.
"Oh, Kyuubi-chan! We've missed you so much!"
"Missed you too, dad."
Unlike her husband, Senna gracefully alighted the car; her short, red hair bobbing in the wind. Crimson eyes swept briefly over her daughter; searching for any signs of harm.
"Wow. You look better than I thought you would, dear."
Kyuubi left her father's grip and hugged the older woman.
"Missed you lots, mom."
Senna hugged her back, "Now, Kyuubi, although I'm happy to see you, we won't forget the pain you put us through. There will be some punishment when we get back."
The redhead shrugged but Gin broke into hysterics, "Wait! Punish her? You can't be serious, Senna-chan!"
"Just get in the car, Gin."
The two adults bickered for a while before Senna noticed the boys; who had just been standing in the background; idly watching the scene.
"Oh. Aren't these your friends from the hospital, Kyuubi-chan?"
"They're my teammates now, mom. They'd like a lift back to Konoha."
Forebodingly, Gin turned towards Naruto, his eyes widening in recognition once again.
"You..."
But Senna grabbed him by the ear before he could act, dragging him roughly towards the SUV.
"Let's get going, dear. Konoha is some time away."
The man grumbled but eventually settled in the front with his wife. Kyuubi took to the back with the boys.
"Oh, forgive my manners", Senna started as Gin began driving, "But I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Hanataka Senna and that is my husband; Gin. What are you names?"
"Uzumaki Naruto, ma'am."
"Uchiha Sasuke."
"I thought you looked like an Uchiha", Gin grumbled from behind the wheel, "Hard to miss any of you guys, not with Itachi all over the news."
"Now, don't be rude, dear. The boy is making Konoha a better place."
"By locking mercs behind bars? What if he locks up our Kyuubi someday?"
Kyuubi giggled at this, "How can one cop be that bad, dad?"
"You have no idea", Sasuke muttered.
"Hold on", the girl said, "But isn't Itachi your brother or something? If he is a cop, how come you ended up a merc? Is he okay with that?"
Sasuke didn't reply.
"Itachi's your brother?", Gin screamed, "I told you, Senna-chan! Those two boys would be nothing but trouble!"
"Hush, dear. And what about you, Naruto-kun? Where are you from?"
Naruto's face immediately colored but Sasuke beat him to the punch.
"Naruto's with me."
Something seemed to have registered on Senna's face but her husband unthoughtfully ploughed on.
"A blonde Uchiha? Heh, now, that's unheard of. What is he? Some offshoot or a cousin four times removed? No wonder he got all the bad genes. Ungrateful, little thief..."
"Stop it, dad!", Kyuubi cried out, "Naruto's an orphan!"
It was a miracle that Gin didn't crash the van.
"W-What?"
He looked at his daughter to make sure she wasn't kidding.
"Oh. My apologies..."
"Just shut the fuck up", Naruto growled, "All of you. I don't need no pity from you guys."
There was a moment of awkward silence, a silence which Senna broke artistically,
"Where do you boys live again, by the way?"
Sasuke gave a brief description of his home as Gin silently drove on. Kyuubi was throwing wary glances at Naruto who was now glaring quietly at the scenery before him. She found it eerie how he could be chipper one moment and bitterly cold the next.
Eventually, Gin dropped them off and after some hastily said goodbyes, the Hanataka family were gone.
"So, what do you want to do now?", Sasuke asked his friend.
Naruto shrugged, "Head home, I guess. Try and get rested for whatever test that arab guy's cooked up for us."
Sasuke nodded, "Alright, I'll be seeing you. I even forgot to tell my mom that I'd be coming home today."
"Dude, is it just me or are we fucking underplaying our status? We are mercs now."
"Hn."
"We are FUCKING mercs now! We are FUCKING mercs now! Hah hah hah hah! I could run around like a little kid!"
Sasuke smiled at his friend's antics. He too did feel proud of himself but he knew the journey was only just beginning. He walked good-naturedly by Naruto's side as the blonde whooped in joy and performed a complex series of cart-wheels; until he crashed into Sasuke, at which point, a fist-fight erupted.
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Naruto had been the first to arrive (ten minutes to seven), partly due to his excitement. He was dressed in an orange hoodie with his trademark headband tied firmly around his head. He did a few stretching exercises; his I-pod on, waiting for the others to arrive.
Sasuke arrived next in his training gear with a pouch of weapons he probably borrowed from Itachi. The two teens exchanged their trademark handshake before the Uchiha began exercises of his own.
Kyuubi was last to arrive (around a quarter to eight); her mother dropping her off in a red sedan. The boys waved to Senna who waved back before zooming off. The redhead panted as she ran up to meet them.
"Am I late? Am I late? Gosh, I just remembered about the test this morning! And I had promised to take care of my neighbour's dog!"
"Chill out", said Sasuke, "Kakashi's not even here yet."
Naruto thought Kyuubi looked infinitely radiant. Her face was flushed and her long, flaming hair swept behind her, unhindered in the wind. The short, red blouse she wore exposed her mid-riff and made her look even hotter and her hips flared out in low-waist shorts. Naruto blushed.
"Hey, are you alright, Naruto?", Kyuubi asked, eyeing him critically.
The blonde nodded dumbly causing Sasuke to chuckle.
His mirth was soon forgotten after they had waited another hour.
"Damn you, Kakashi", he hissed.
Kyuubi was reclining against a tree, typing on her phone, and Naruto was curled up on the ground, catching a quick nap.
One hour had turned into two and two into three. Naruto had awoken and Kyuubi had gotten bored of cyber chatting. Sasuke had gotten tired of standing (he had deceived himself into thinking he could stand that long) and was now massaging his feet on the ground.
"Where the FUCK is that MOTHERFUCKER?", Naruto screamed, now close to hysteria, "Is this a normal thing for him?"
Kyuubi, this time, was oh so supportive of Naruto's rant, "I swear, I could kill him if he comes around. Does he actually think this is funny?"
Sasuke didn't bother to say anything. He was hungry. Maybe next time he should have something more than just coffee when stepping out of the house.
The trio turned when they heard the grumbling of the Impala once more. This time; Kakashi parked outside the gates and walked in on foot.
"Yo", he greeted.
"Sensei, where have you been?", Kyuubi asked darkly.
Kakashi chuckled, "Well you see, a black cat crossed my path right in front of Hirameki drive, so, I had to return home and begin the journey all over again."
"AAAAARRRRGGGHH!"
Naruto had flung himself at Kakashi with blinding speed but the man easily evaded the blow, causing the blonde to skid on the ground behind him.
"If you are tired of wasting time, Naruto. I would like to begin the test."
The seriousness of the jonin caused the genin to look up at him.
Kakashi produced an alarm clock and set it some distance away.
"The test is going to last till noon. That is; fourty minutes from now. Within that time frame, any of you can come at me and..."
He gestured at a small bell tied around his thawb.
"...try to disarm me of this. If you all fail, I'd quit being your sensei and goodluck getting Ibiki to find you another. I can't waste my time training no talent kids after all."
The clock rang.
"Begin."
All three genin immediately leapt for the woods.
"What's your plan?", the red-haired girl asked as she crouched low in the grass beside her teammates.
"For now, nothing", Sasuke replied, "We have to discern how strong he is first, but as a jonin, I'd say he should be pretty strong. Naruto and I have some experience battling stronger opponents but what about you?"
"I beat up guys double my size that try to grope me all the time and my parents are ex-mercenaries so I'm pretty skilled in taijutsu, traps and basic ninjutsu. But that's about it."
"Hn. About the same as Naruto. Which means I'm the only one here with actual knowledge of any other jutsu. We'll see how we can combine our abilities."
"Wait a second, where's Naruto?"
Sasuke looked around him before slapping a palm to his forehead, "Dobe."
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Kakashi blinked at the teen standing boldly before him.
"Hm? Maybe I overestimated you. You sure are stupid, thinking you can take on me like that."
Naruto smirked, "Scared? Heh, and I thought you were jonin. What's with the garb and the headband anyway? Can you even see properly with that?"
Kakashi shrugged, "It's an iqal, not a headband. And the garb is just a little something I picked up from the desert people of Sunagakure. Like?"
"Yup. 'cos I'll be ripping it apart."
"Hm, empty vessel. I wonder where Sasuke-kun is. He's bound to be more of a challenge. Maybe I should go look for him?"
"Don't look down on me!"
"Well, I am tall", said Kakashi, retrieving a small, orange book from his pocket, "Ah, Icha icha paradise. Now where was I?"
But Naruto was already on the move.
Considered, it was probably unfair to attack a man while he thumbed through his novel but Kakashi had commited a lot of grievous offences that day. The height of which was seriously underestimating the blonde. Something that hadn't happened to him since he was ten.
So, he threw a weak punch at the man, aiming to use it as a setup for something greater, when the man simply squatted; his eyes still glued to the book, allowing Naruto to soar over him.
Not one to be deterred, the boy came again, this time with a shin kick. Again the man sidestepped it, moving so nonchalantly as if he hadn't just dodged an attack he shouldn't have been able to at such close range.
In response, the blonde flipped onto his back and lashed out with a vicious rising double kick, but Kakashi stepped back to his former position; allowing the attack to sail furtively through the air.
Naruto, however, didn't let his frustration get the best of him. It was time to be more practical. So, spinning on the palms of his hands, he dished out a multiple kick combo intended to cause major damage; targeting the heel, groin, hip and stomach of his opponent. The jonin blurred from sight before any could connect.
'Shit! This guy's as fast as Itachi!'
"Are you done monkeying around, then?"
Naruto turned to see Kakashi standing directly behind him; turning his book over to another page. The nerve of him.
"Next time I get behind you like this, I wouldn't be so merciful", the jonin stated offhandedly.
Naruto grimaced. It was one thing to get his ass handed to him. It was another to get his ass whooped and still taunted badly about it. Flexing his fingers, he produced a smoke bomb he had lifted off Sasuke's pouch earlier and detonated it.
It was time to re-evaluate things.
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Sasuke and Kyuubi had watched the short battle from their hiding place and had equal looks of shock on their faces.
'No way. He wasn't even paying attention and yet, Naruto couldn't still hit him. Is this the power of a jonin?', Sasuke thought. Naruto's taijutsu had always been a bit hazardous but unpredictable enough to best even his sharingan. Kakashi was truly on a higher level.
"This could spell trouble", Sasuke said, "We would have to..."
"...reassess tactics."
Sasuke had to clamp a hand over Kyuubi's mouth to stop her scream from giving away their position.
"When did you get here, Naruto?"
"Not long ago", the blonde replied, "I was here initially but I figured that before you could work a plan, you'd probably need to estimate his strength. Trust me on this. He's fast; Itachi-fast, but he doesn't think much of us. That's our only advantage."
"Do you know what he thinks of us, then?", Kyuubi asked; glaring at Sasuke as he released her and silently commending Naruto for his thoughtfulness.
"Probably that you're girly-girly with little experience, I'm a short-tempered, nuthead who rushes into things and that teme here might be the only one with actual skills, considering his clan."
Kyuubi noticed that Naruto didn't stutter in the heat of battle. There was also something else she noticed.
"I don't think his assessment is that far off."
Naruto smirked.
"How's your fire jutsu, Sasuke?"
"Great. Why?"
"'Cos we're gon' toast ourselves a scarecrow."
Sasuke smirked back and handed his weapons pouch to Kyuubi.
"Let's do this."
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Kakashi had found a nice, shaded area to relax and continue his reading when a kunai flew out at him. Without even looking up, he snatched it out of the air; placing it in the pouch underneath his thawb.
"You again?", he asked, "What about your teammates?"
Naruto snorted, "I'm more than enough for you. Besides, they're busy cooking some fancy ass plan somewhere but fuck that shit! I don't have the time and I'm sure I can take you down my own way. I got an ace up my sleeve, after all."
"I see, an independent operative. This wouldn't end well for you", Kakashi said, getting up, "Let's see what this ace is then."
Naruto grinned before hurtling once more, sprinting towards Kakashi. The one-eyed jonin sighed. Didn't this boy ever learn?
It seemed he did, because a few inches from his target, he lashed out with his foot. However, instead of trying for a hit, the blonde kicked up a hail of sand, one that would have surely blinded the man had he not anticipated it at the last second.
Down to street tactics, eh?
The attack was two phased because spinning with his kick, the urchin hurled a fistful of sand at the man's face; something he effectively countered by shielding himself with the book.
The other palm also made a move to unfurl but Kakashi was already irritated enough by this tactic and lashed out, knocking the boy's arm away. Naruto then responded with an upside down headbutt; something the jonin thought was physically impossible but easily evadable nontheless.
Dodging backwards, Kakashi put some distance between he and his query only to have another wave of sand kicked at him.
"What did I say about getting behind you again?"
Naruto hadn't even registered Kakashi's movement until the jonin spoke; crouched behind him, his book closed and his lone eye looking irritated. However, it was the seal his hand had formed that perplexed the blonde more than just a little bit.
"Since you like dirty tactics, take this: a thousand years of pain!"
Years later, Sasuke, Kyuubi and Naruto would probably share a laugh over what had resulted from this.
Kakashi had poked Naruto with his indexes squarely in the butt; sending him flying. . . only for the blonde to disappear in a puff of smoke.
The jonin's eye widened.
"Taijyu kage bunshin no jutsu!"
All around him, several Narutos appeared; jumping from the trees, the sky and raining on the grasses. They were all grinning maniacally, saying the same words over and over,
"Baka! Think you can get us that easy, eh? We'll show you! The power of Uzumaki Naruto!"
Kyuubi had paused in her mission to gape openly at the scene.
No way, there has to be about fifty of him! How can he make that many bunshin!
Her jaw fell even more when she realised that all the Narutos moved independently of each other; the moment they began attacking Kakashi.
Real clones? He created real clones? How the fuck is that even possible?
From his hiding spot, Sasuke was also thinking the same thing.
So, this is the technique he used against Ibiki. Kage bunshin. Not holograms of oneself but live, tangible copies. When did you learn such a move, dobe?
The white-haired jonin was surrounded, the tumult of clones pouring in on all sides.
Hmm, this is your ace, Naruto? A jonin-level technique. I must say, I didn't expect this. It seems the apple didn't fall far from the tree, after all. Very well.
The jonin snapped his book shut and placed it in his pocket, "Come."
As Naruto predicted, Kakashi was fast. In less than one minute, he had decimated over half of Naruto's forces. But the blonde wasn't deterred. He knew Sasuke and Kyuubi were moving into position; so with the cover of smoke; he pulled the string, signaling for Kyuubi to activate her weapons trap.
The first thing that alerted Kakashi to impending danger was the mass dispelling of the clones; obscuring him in a fog of smoke. The next was the tell tale sounds of shuriken flying through the air; rippling towards his dormant position.
'So, it seems they are working together, after all', he mused.
Flipping through the air, he evaded an assortment of weapons that would have surely skewered him had he been chunin level. He had to give kudos to whoever set the traps though, everywhere he turned, he was setting off another one.
Performing another ballet-like spin, he spotted the blonde urchin glaring up at him in what he supposed was a safe patch.
"Surprised?", Kakashi asked, as he landed in front of the boy, "Did you actually expect your plan to work?"
Naruto grinned "Yup!"
And before Kakashi could blink, four clones had appeared and grabbed him from behind, holding him in place.
"Go, Sasuke!"
Ah, a three phase plan. Luring me into a trap-free zone in order to set up another attack...
"Katon...!"
What? No way I'm waiting for that one!
A stream of fire had blown from the woods, burning everything in its path and igniting the jonin within it. Sasuke kept up the flame until he had created a nice patch of burnt grass, only for an ashen Naruto to tumble out.
"YOU TRYING TO KILL ME, TEME?"
Sasuke choked on his chakra.
"Naruto? What are you doing there?"
The blonde dusted himself off.
"The fucker managed to replace himself with me at the last minute. Like I said, he's fast. I barely escaped because I did the same with my clone."
The blonde inspected his gear.
"Fuck, teme, this was my best hoodie. Were you trying to roast a steak? Now, it's fried all over!"
"Did we get him?", Kyuubi had wanted to ask as she jumped into the scene but the sight of grumbling Sasuke and a toasted Naruto made her sigh in defeat.
"Hn. You're lucky YOU are not fried all over, dobe", Sasuke was saying, "That fireball was only a quarter of what I normally use."
"Why didn't you use your full fireball then?"
"Hn. I didn't want to risk killing our sensei on the first day. Good thing too or your weal ass would have been dead."
"TEME!"
"Dobe."
"Will the both of you shut up!", Kyuubi snarled.
"Hm, as much as I love the drama, you three are almost out of time", said Kakashi, appearing out of the bushes, his novel in hand once more, "But I got to say, I'm impressed. Too bad, you didn't get the bell."
Naruto grinned and eased into a fighting stance, "What do you say, teme?"
Sasuke smirked and did the same.
"Let's do this, dobe."
But before either of them could move, Kyuubi breezed past and flung herself at Kakashi.
The jonin barely had a moment to register how fast she was, before he was bringing up his free hand in a block.
What?
The girl's movements were lithe and Kakashi found himself forced to concentrate on the battle once more. They fought quickly, she; attacking, and he; deftly evading and parrying with his free hand. He backed up against a tree and went on the offensive, catching her leg and flinging her off him.
Kyuubu landed deftly on her feet only for the two boys to streak past her. Their combination was much more lethal and Kakashi had to strain to latch unto the ankles of both. This left him open for a flash kick from Kyuubi which he evaded by releasing the boys and chakra-sliding backwards; his book forgotten on the ground.
Sasuke and Naruto landed on either side of redhead.
"Are you girls done with your cheerleading speeches and moral preps?", Kyuubi asked, her red eyes focused ardently on Kakashi.
Naruto grasped at his heart, "She called us girls, Sasuke. I'm hurt."
"Hn. Let's go."
The trio sped towards Kakashi who had switched to his own fighting stance. He first deflected Sasuke's overhead kick before using the other hand to knock Kyuubi's punch away, then leap over Naruto's sweep kick.
Sasuke proved to be the swiftest of the three because in a single second, he assaulted the airborne Kakashi with multiple hits which were all parried before he landed. Naruto's haymaker was easy to dodge but the blonde had let his foot trail behind; almost scoring the jonin's ribs.
Kyuubi's tiger claw almost took his face off (shawl included) and Sasuke was on him again, his elbow coming close to Kakashi's solar plexus. Missing, the Uchiha palmed the ground and used the leverage to knee the jonin in the gut, scoring a hit which Kakashi lessened by flowing with; then dodging Kyuubi's flash kick, only to have his back ploughed by Naruto's body blow.
The jonin vaulted with the impact, landing some distance away but Sasuke was upon him again.
This boy's getting dangerous.
Kakashi lashed out a weak kick to keep the boy at bay but Sasuke's eyes flashed red briefly and the Uchiha took to the ground; employing a spinning, rolling, kicking, maneuver that kept the jonin on his toes. The Uchiha was up again with an uppercut which Kakashi barely weaved; and a subsequent round house kick that the jonin caught.
"You're better than they give you credit for."
"Hn."
A blow had been sent only for Kakashi to trap the obvious hit before realizing that it was a diversion. With his two arms occupied, the Uchiha made a go for the bell at his belt and brushed it with his fingertips before Kakashi back-slid again.
Before the jonin could even blink an eye-id, a sextuplet of Narutos were upon him and it was a true testament to his skill that he avoided being hit by a single one before he dispelled them all. However, it was the next cry that really caught his attention.
"Katon goukakyu no jutsu!"
This fireball was massive, roaring and flaming to life, reducing everything around to ashes and leaving a deep, smoking crater on the ground.
"You alright?", Naruto asked his friend, who was panting rather heavily.
"Y-y-eah. J-just put a lit-ttle t-too much ch-chakra in that", the Uchiha gasped, falling to his feet, "D-did we g-get him?"
Naruto tried to gaze into the crater but their response came in the form of twin hands which rose up from the ground; latching onto their ankles.
Doton Shinju zanshu no jutsu!
Their surprised screams were muffled by the earth.
"Well, well", said Kakashi, dusting his hands and smiling at the two heads sticking out of the ground before him; one blonde and one dark, "I've got to give it to you guys; you too are vicious! Now where's that fiery teammate of yours? She better not hide too long" - and he looked back at the clock - "You only have two more minutes before this ends."
He put his hands into his pockets and began whistling, ignoring the growls of the two disembodied boys, only to realize that...
"Dropped something, sensei?", Kyuubi asked, holding up his beloved Icha icha paradise in her nimble, little hands.
"W-What? When? How did you get that?"
Kyuubi shrugged and glared at him, "You should be ashamed of yourself, you old pervert. Reading porn openly in the presence of minors."
"Now, hold on a sec..."
"I should rip this apart", Kyuubi said - and she pulled at the book, causing a small tear to emanate (Kakashi cringed at the sight) - "Honestly, you have no modesty."
"Stop!"
"Why?"
"That book is a collector's item!"
"Like I care. Get a life."
"What?"
Kyuubi pulled at the book once more, causing the tear to widen.
"Stop!", Kakashi groaned, ripping the bell from his thawb, "This is what you want, isn't it? Just take it."
Kyuubi smirked, "You sure?"
"Don't push your luck, young lady."
"I don't know, I really want to get rid of this book, sensei..."
Thinking quickly, the jonin tossed the bell at the girl; who caught it on reflex, allowing him to blur in and grab the book.
"Oh, my precious", Kakashi cried, hugging the orange novel to his chest.
Kyuubi pocketed the bell and sweatdropped, "Seriously? Now that's just patethic, sensei."
The alarm rang immediately after.
"Hell yeah! We won, Kyuubi-chan! I knew you could do it!", Naruto cheered from his spot in the ground.
The fiery girl smirked and blew him a raspberry, "Damn right, I won! I'm greater than you guys, after all."
"Hn."
"Oh? Did you say something, Mr head-chan?"
"Hn. Just get us out of here."
"And, how I'm I supposed to do that, Sas-uke-kun?"
A round of clapping broke their conversation and they turned to look at Kakashi who was smiling genially at them. At least, his eye was.
"It seems I was wrong about this team", the jonin stated; replacing the book back in his robe, "I was thinking I would have to come here and give you all a lesson on teamwork but I was pleasantly surprised. You three know what it means to be operatives of the Oniwabanshu. You'd have passed anyway had you gotten the bell or not."
He then stretched out his arm and gave them a thumbs up, "I'll be proud to be your sensei. Team three in commission, starting now!"
"Hell yeah!", Kyuubi and Naruto yelled, cheering in joy while Sasuke allowed a small smile to grace his lips. Finally.
"We come", ordered Kakashi, gesturing towards yonder and Kyuubi rushed to his side to follow. The two disappeared through the gates.
Two seconds later, Naruto and Sasuke realised that they were still stuck underneath the earth.
"Hey, wait just a FUCKING minute! Don't forget us! You can't leave us here, you bastards! HEY!"
Sasuke sighed, "Usuratonkachi."
Neither of them knew but a new era was approaching the mercenary world, and team three was going to be at the center of it.
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Closing theme: Wind by Toshio Masuda
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A/N: So, I finally introduced Kakashi as sensei of t3, no surprises there. Do you all approve of the Ultimate version of Kakashi? He doesn't change much... at first glance, but when have I ever been straightforward? Do keep reading and watch as more events unfurl, I think the Starter arc is almost complete.
Next week: The genin visit the HQ of the Oniwaban. (PS: I know this chapter came out a little late compared to my prior speed but hey, WCIS? I publish only according to popular demand) Hopefully, next chapter would be out a bit sooner.
The technique Kakashi used above is the earth release: Double suicide decapitation technique. I don't need to explain what a Katon: goukakyu is.
Well then, hope you'll read again! Till next time, Ja ne!
Signed: Ki Sha