A couple of you asked how Arinna would react with Tula being in the team.
So here we go.
ANY ONE HERE WATCH STEVEN UNIVERSE?! I was listening to the song "Here comes a thought', while writing this chapter. Several of the lyrics inspiried certain moments. (As well as the title of the chapter XD)
I woke up today as the Gamma team's captain.
It didn't feel too great honestly. More of a… constant weight upon my shoulders that just grows heavier with each passing second.
Hoping I could ignore it with breakfast though I hobbled into the kitchen, noticing a familiar red head.
"Nicole!" I greet when I see her. Not sure when she arrived, I was quick to join her. She seemed to be leaning back, her legs propped up on the table and something small and silver in her hands.
"Arinna." she brightens at the sight of me, motioning for me to join her.
"When did you get here?" I asked as I pull out a chair.
"An hour ago. Was waiting for you." she explained. Her hand suddenly began to move in rapid motions.
"Oh why were you waiting… for me- what are you doing?" it was only then that I noticed she was holding a laser pointer.
"Training." she explains with a smirk. Looking ahead to see where she was pointing with the laser, I frown to see Match shooting across the room in wild bursts of speed, his arms flailing rapidly as if he was trying to catch something.
It was the dot. He was trying to catch the dot.
"Nicole." I scold, folding my arms at her. "That is mean."
"What?" she cackles, "This is legit training."
Ari snorts within and I cover my-our, mouth. This isn't funny Ari.
("It is hilarious." )
"It is not training." I snatch the laser pointer away from her. Match freezes when the dot disappears and looks around, lost and confused.
He gives frantic hand signals to Nicole. She shrugs, "I don't know where your little red friend went Match." she tells him with a fake sad sigh, "Maybe he got tired and went home for the day?"
Blinking, Match seems to accept that and nods.
I sigh at them. "What is it that you wanted?" I ask her.
"Honestly, I just wanted to check in and see how you two were doing." Nicole tells me. I look at her, seeing her smile. Ever since New Years when Ari and me were connected everyone had treated Ari with caution, and me with worry. No one knew how to approach Ari, despite how much they tried to. Nicole though, she accepted both of us straight off the bat.
She treated Ari as family, and me as the newest member, talking to both of us as equals. It was… a nice change.
"W-We're good." I say with a smile, feeling Ari perk up as well. "How are you?" I notice Ari reaching out our left hand, giving Nicole a peculiar looking handshake. Nicole chuckles, and I remember it being a secret greeting between the two of them when they were younger. "Thanks for checking in."
"Any time." she glances back at the cave. Despite being here often, she never seemed to be able to fit in the the rest of the team. Try as they may to get to know her, her distrustfullness to them almost had no end.
It made me wonder exactly how much patience and perserverance Mark had to have to get Nicole to come around to him. Probably a lot.
Blinking a few times, I watch Match make his way over to the kitchen, waving at me. I didn't know sign langauge and struggled to talk to him most times, but Nicole was helping to teach me a few things.
I sign, "Hello." to him, and he smiles. He looks so much like Conner, but is so different all the same.
"Well-" I scarf down an apple, "I should go train." I say.
"Train." Nicole gags, "Gross."
Match signs at me, but I don't know what he says other than the word fun.
I look to Nicole for translation. "He said that sounds fun." she explains.
"Oh. It is… kind of." I chuckle, rising to my feet and moving around the table. "Oh! Nicole, Conner and me are almost done with the season finale of our Zombie fingers."
She pumps her fist, "I've been waiting for this!" she cheers. Match claps enthusiastically.
On the way there I run into Garth. He waves, and I kind of wave back. "Greetings, leader!"
"…Yeah." my smile is all teeth and no lips, so it just looks like I'm making faces at him.
"How are you this fine day?"
"Good." A silence follows afterward.
He glances back and forth from me to the hall and slowly steps around me, "Well then- good day."
I slap my forehead when he leaves. Most awkward leader ever, that's me. Sighing, I made my way into the training room.
I'm glad to see that it was empty I head over to start up a simulation. I pause when I hear a voice, "Greetings, Arinna!" It's Tula.
It had to be Tula.
"Oh. Tula." I say, "Hi."
"What brings you here today Arinna?" she inquires, smiling brightly. She is always so happy. And pretty. And awesome.
"Training." I tell her.
"I just completed my own training. Just completed level 10." she nods. I can barely complete level 5! She isn't even sweaty. I don't even think she sweats. That is so unfair.
"Oh." I say awkwardly, "Cool."
"If you do not mind Arinna, perhaps I could watch you train?" she inquires sweetly. My body goes stiff and I struggle to smile.
"...Why?"
"You are going to be my new captain." her eyes sparkle, "I would like to watch and see the full power you possess."
"I'm not- I mean, Kaldur put me as leader sure but I'm not really-" her look didn't go away and I trailed off, "Sure." I said stiffly, "Why not?"
The training did not go well. I fell, and tripped, and teleported weirdly, but Tula didn't say anything at the end. In fact, all she did was compliment me.
I forced a laugh and waved good bye to her, struggling to remind myself to thank her. Tula was nice, I'm not saying she isn't, but something just felt so off every time I talked to her. I felt… nervous and uncomfortable. Especially when Tula and Kaldur were in the same room together.
Not understanding this feeling, and getting no help from Ari, I went to Rocket for some advice.
She laughed at me.
"Girl, that is normal!" she assures me, patting me heavily on the back.
"It… is?" I question, "How so?"
"It is natural to be worried and protective when your boyfriend sees his Ex." she explains.
"Why? Tula and him never went out." I tell her.
"But he did have feelings for her at one point. That is why you are stressing."
I consider her words, "...Is it?" I ponder a bit more, "I- I guess so. I mean- yeah."
"Don't worry about it though." she tries to tell me, "It isn't like Kaldur still loves her, right?"
I open my mouth to agree, but find that I can't. "...I don't know." I admit, realizing I actually had no idea what Kaldur felt for Tula now. We are going out now, yes, but that doesn't mean Kaldur just forgot his feelings for her. What if he still loved her? What if he wanted to be with her instead of me?
"Oh…" Rocket blinks, "Oh girl, no. I mean- No. Kaldur probably doesn't. This is Kaldur we are talking about. He wouldn't date a girl if he loved a different one. That isn't him."
I couldn't bring up the courage to speak and just nod.
"So, it is okay." she insists. "Everything is okay. Want to go get some lunch? Clear your head?"
"No." I say, rising to my feet, "I- I have something with Conner to do. And I have to go see Stephan."
"Weekly meeting?" she guesses.
"Yeah."
"You get to it then, but, I'll be here if you need to talk."
Nodding gratefully to her, I head out of the room and head to Stephan's office. He is waiting inside just as he always does. He looks up and smiles at me, "Welcome, Arinna. Did you sleep well?"
"Yes." I tell him. Ari feels reluctant to sit down in a chair, but I force us too. It was important to come to these things, as I've been constantly told. "How are you?"
"I am great." he says, "Shall we begin?"
I nod and he starts to ask me the basic questions. How my day has done. What did I do? Any plans for the weekend? All the little things to get me to feel comfortable around him before he asks some big serious question.
"I heard you were placed at the leader of Gamma." he grins, "How exciting."
I cringe, "Kind of." I sigh, "I don't really feel up to the job."
"No leader ever truly does at first." he insists, "It is something you learn and grow into."
"Kaldur says it is a good thing to learn, and Gamma gives me plenty of chances to do it since it isn't too dangerous. Though, I don't see why he wants me to learn this." I tell him, "I've never wanted to be a leader."
"I think learning how to lead is an important skill everyone should learn." Stephan announces, "The skills behind it factor in to so many things you'll do in life, as well as teach you about yourself."
I shrug, "I guess?"
Stephan chuckled, "New experiences are not something to be feared. They are just small adventures for each new day."
I smile at that and nod in agreement. I could feel Ari bristle and ignored her, "So how have I been doing?" I ask him.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you go to therapy with a goal in mind for when you are done, right? I know you were worried about my mentality, and it's been a few weeks, so I was wondering if I'm doing any better from the first time I came here." I explain to him.
He looks a little puzzled, "Well, nothing has changed about you, other than you attendance has gotten better." He gives me a little wink. "I suppose the only way to know if you two are better, as you say, is ask how Ari and you are getting along?"
"The same." I shrug, "Nothing has really changed."
"Because change does not happen within such a short time. You have to have patience with it. I am positive you will get there though. After all, despite still having the mind set of a child, you have grown so much Arinna."
I lift my finger to say something, but his comment puts me off, "Wait- what?" I question, "What do you mean?"
Blinking once, then twice, as if I shouldn't be surprised that he said that, he smiles, "Emotionally."
"Emotionally? That doesn't make sense. What is that about me being a child?" I frown.
"Well, you are." He straightened a bit, a blunt look on his face, "I do not mean offense by that-"
"Too late." I accuse.
He leans forward a bit, hoping to explain, "There are still many things that are new to your Arinna." He insists, "Since you awoke from your pod you've taken large bounds in growth because you were forced to in order to adapt to your surroundings. You are still behind emotionally to other 15-year-olds because of the circumstances as of how you came to be."
("He has a point.)
Why are you suddenly on his side, Ari?
(I'm not on anyone's side.) That is kind of sad, you know.
Sighing, I frown at Stephan, not too pleased to hear this. I mean, maybe a few months ago I would have totally agreed, but after reconnecting with Ari I want to say I'm on the same level as everyone else.
Sure, I might get a little bit more exciting about things than others, or enjoy a good episode of Sesame street from time to time, but that doesn't make me a child.
Ari's silence didn't help.
"I honestly did not mean to insult you." Stephan holds up his hands, "That is never my intention when you come here. My job is to simply evaluate your progress and note any changes or characteristics that suddenly appear." He pauses, "I simply said what I noticed compared to the others on the team."
My watch began to beep at that exact moment and I let out a sigh of relief to realize the time. It was suppose to go meet Conner to prepare for our Zombie fingers Walk of the living dead Finale.
Rising to my feet, I give Stephan a nod, "I don't agree." I tell him. He only nods in acceptance, as if he expected me to say this at some point.
"Till next time then." He shakes my hand and I leave.
I'm not a child.
(You're 15, of course you are still a child.)
Please don't talk as if you above me in this. You are 15 too.
(And I've grown through years to reach this age. You haven't.)
Leaving the conversation at that, I find Conner in the kitchen. He is already painting his characters on to his fingers, "You're late." he tells me.
"You're early." I say back.
"Am I?" he glances at the clock, "I am." he concluded and goes back to work. Glancing at me, he frowns, "What is up with you?"
"Nothing." I lie. I shouldn't have, but I did. Too late to go back on it.
"..." he looks a little awkward suddenly, "How is Ari?"
"She is fine too." I smile at him, feeling a little happy he put in an effort to talk to her. Sitting next to him, I get to work on my own characters. Within five minutes, Tula is walking into the room with Garth.
I don't greet her instantly, or Garth, please don't think I am only avoiding Tula, and focus on my puppet. After some time though I can notice them staring. Sighing I look up to meet their gaze. They perk up a bit, waving.
"What are you working on, friend?" Garth inquires.
His friendly tone makes me feel bad for my sour attitude, "M-My Zombie fingers." I explain. They look confused.
"It is a surface thing." Conner explains, "The two of us have been making this little show using our fingers as puppets. We based it off of a show we both like."
"Fascinating." Tula says in awe, moving closer to examine our designs, "Then each finger is a different character?"
"Yup." Conner holds up his own, "We are preparing for the season finale. It is going to be big."
"Very big." I agree.
"They have been working on it for weeks now." A very familiar voice says warmly when they enter, and I realize it is Kaldur. He moves around the table and kisses the top of my head, "It is very impressive if you two would like to view the previous episodes they have made."
"I would love too." Tula claps her hands excitedly. Kaldur smiles at her and I feel a horrible feeling in my gut.
I… I don't like it. Curling into myself a bit, a furiously focus back on my puppet.
"Arinna?" I flinch at Kaldur's touch, hoping my smile could convince him that the flinch was nothing but me being surprised. He seems to accept it and smiles back.
"What?" I ask.
"I asked where the other videos of Zombie fingers were." Conner said, "Tula wants to see them."
"I don't know." I say without even thinking. But… I did know. I knew exactly where they were. And Conner knew I did.
He gave me a look, blinking a few times, "You took them." he reminded me.
The nasty feeling in my gut wouldn't leave, "I can't remember where I put them."
"What, you get another case of amnesia?" he snarks.
"No." I say, feeling a little mad, "I just misplaced them. I have to find them."
"Then go find them."
"My fingers are wet, you have to wait." I say a little louder. Kaldur looks a little surprised at my tone, and glances at Conner.
"Well then, perhaps we can show her the footage you've already taken on your camera?" he suggests slowly.
My nostrils flare, "Yeah sure, whatever."
Conner was giving me a dark look, "Sure thing. It is in M'gann's room, just go ask her for it."
"We shall." Kaldur slowly backs up, giving us both a long look, as if he thought perhaps we were fighting and knowing better to leave it be. Motioning for Tula and Garth to follow him, the three left.
Conner didn't bother to wait even 10 seconds after they disappeared. "What was that about?"
"I don't know what you are talking about." I reach for a paint brush. He stops me before I can.
"This attitude." he grumbles, "You've been weird for the past couple days. You won't even look at Tula and Garth most times. You got a problem with them?" he demands.
"No." I growl at them, "And even if I did, it is none of your business."
"Oh, so when I have an angry fit, you love to point it out and tell me to get over it, but when you do it, it is perfectly fine and I should just accept it?" he questions,
"This isn't an angry fit." I tell him, waving my hand around,
"Sure seems like one."
"Because you are the master of angry fits." I point at him, "Can't go through a single day without you getting mad at something and taking it out on everyone."
Conner narrows his eyes, "Stop trying to turn this one me, you are the one with the issues here Arinna. Stop acting like a spoiled brat."
The words come out like a slap to the face and I make a little angry noise at him, "I am not a kid." I growl at him, "Just because someone gets mad doesn't make them a child."
"Then tell me what is wrong. You never do that! You just avoid it and pretend nothing is wrong until it blows up in everyone's face." He jumps to his feet to loom over me,
"You don't know everything about me Conner! Stop acting like you have me all figured out." I yell at him.
"What the- I never said I did! I never know what is wrong with you because you never tell me! Never!" He starts to get upset and his tone changes, "Yet you always know what is wrong with me and you are there for me, but I can't ever be with you because you. Don't. Tell. Me! What is it, huh? What is with you?! What are you upset about?!" He demanded. I didn't know. I just… felt nasty. Like something dark was bubbling in my stomach and I just hated it.
"Oh-you!" I slam my hands into the table, ruining my puppet fingers. Rising to my feet I pull out of my chair. "Forget it! I'm done talking with you!' I yell. I was… running away.
"Well I'm not done talking with you!' he is moving to follow me.
"Yes you are." I lift up my hand.
"Don't you dare teleport away from me!" he bellows.
I do it anyway. With a snap my fingers I'm gone. I appear all the way across the cave a second later, landing directly on the couch in my room.
Breathing a little heavily, I sit there in silence, my mind racing. I pull my knees up to my chest.
Somewhere inside myself, I could feel a huge sob welling up at the bottom of my throat. It stung my eyes and made them puffy. Ready to scream at the feeling, Ari stopped me before I could.
She pulled me back, forcing me to step away from my problems for a second. With a deep breath, Ari let it go for me. The sob vanished, the tears dried, and I was okay.
The gentle rocking motion my body had begun to do was comforting, and I sniff.
What is wrong with me?
("Nothing is wrong with you.")
It was almost bizarre to hear Ari sound so comforting, but she was wrong. Something was wrong with me and that conversation with Conner just now proved it.
I was just- I don't know. Conner didn't do anything wrong and I yelled at him. And what was with Tula? Why didn't I just show her the videos? It isn't like she said it was stupid, she was actually very interested in what Conner and me were doing, so why? I was even mean to Garth, and he is awesome. I can get along great with Garth, so why was it such a big difference if Tula was there too?
It was so… I don't even know the word that describes this feeling. I've never felt this before.
Ari was the one to explain, ("Petty.") she says, ("That emotion is considered to be petty in some cases. Though honestly, I would think you would consider your actions more to be childish or even churlish.")
I don't know what churlish is.
("To be rude in a mean-spirited or surly way. And please don't ask what surly means either, I'm not a dictionary.")
But I don't know what that means.
She sighs, ("Bad tempered or unfriendly.")
Right then. I was Petty and churlish and just horrible.
("It is called being human you know.")
I've never felt that before.
("You've never loved someone as you do Kaldur before too.")
"Is that…" I sigh, "Is that the problem? Kaldur?"
("More or less? He didn't do anything wrong, if that is what you took from that. It is more of… Well, I do not know how to describe it. I suppose the best way is to say you are scared of losing him now that competition has arrived.")
My grip tightens around myself. "How do you know?" I inquire,
("You are me. I feel what you are feeling- I just have a better understanding of what those emotions mean. You've learned a lot Arinna, and as much as I hate to admit it, Stephan had a point. You are still really new to this world and have the emotional capability of a child at times.")
"I don't-!" I cut myself off. "… I don't mean to." I insist, unable to deny anything at this point.
"I know that, you know that, and it isn't your fault. It is just the fact. You woke up in July last year. You've been in this world for 8 months. Give yourself a little credit, but realize that you still have a lot of growing to do.")
I nod, feeling numb. "…Why am I acting this way?" I asked her. "Why am I mad at Tula and everyone?"
Ari almost chuckles, as if the answer should be obvious. Our right hands moves up to pat my head, ("Well, you are defensive against Tula.)
"But why?"
"Because out of anyone, she is someone who might actually tear Kaldur from you. You find nothing against her personally, but she has the means of stealing what you view as most precious. This makes you petty towards her with simple things. This just makes you frustrated I assume because you aren't use to feeling this way, so when Conner called you out on it, you lashed out.")
I can't seem to find the words to disagree and nod.
Ari takes a moment to pause, ("If it makes you feel any better, I understand that feeling. I am petty and churlish to many things.")
I lift my head. I knew she was, but it was strange to hear her admit it. She was often that way to Stephan, but I had a feeling that wasn't what she was referring to, "You are?" I ask. "About what?"
She doesn't answer, retreating back deeper into our subconscious. Good talk, I guess.
A second later there is a knock on my door. Half expecting it to be Conner, and bracing myself, I'm relived to see that it is Robin.
"Hey hey." he smiles, stepping inside, a book in his hands, "So, I'm here as a representative." he explains, moving to sit next to me on the couch.
"Representative?" I question.
"Of the Conner council… or something like that. He wanted to come in here and pummel you into making logical choices, but I told him that was dumb and not going to work. So I came in here instead to hopeful talk to you." He opens his book, as if he is trying to be casual about this, but it feels far from it.
"...Oh." I frown.
"Tell me what is wrong." Robin flips to the next page in his book.
"Wha- nothing." I tell him.
"Uh-huh, sure." he gives me a look, "And I'm blond. Give me the truth Arinna."
Blinking a few times, I sigh, "It is nothing."
He lowers the book, "Tell me or I go and tell Stephan something is bothering you."
"Oh no, don't do that." I plead with him, "If you tell him something like that he'll never leave me alone."
"I am aware, so tell me and avoid that all together." he smirks.
"... You are unfair." I pout at him.
"I've been told." he motions for me to continue.
Giving it my all to tell him everything that is bothering, but as always failing, I mentally cheer when I manage to say, "...It's Tula- kind of."
He looks curious, "What about her?"
"Nothing. She is perfectly nice and kind and cool and… overall just perfect." I frown at my toes.
"Struggling to see the problem here." he moves a little closer to me, hoping to look me in the face.
"She is too perfect?" I whisper.
He takes a second to soak it in, then snaps his finger, "You're jealous." he points to me.
"What? No." I frown.
"You're right, you aren't jealous. You're… self conscious. Have little to no confidence."
I huff, "Robin."
"It's true! Your lack of confidence enfeebles you."
Not sure what he was talking about I asked, "What does that word even mean- it means he thinks we're basically feeble or weak when it comes to confidence." Ari answered for me before I could even finish my question. Oh, so she was still here for this.
"Exactly as Ari says." Robin nods confidently.
I feel insulted, "I am not. I just- Okay, maybe. She is perfect, I'm not. She never fails at anything and I fail at everything."
He gives me this little smile which I know means he thinks I'm being ridiculous, "What is wrong with failing?"
"Everything."
"So maybe Tula succeeds more than she fails, that is awesome. It is also awesome to fail a lot too."
"...We struggle to see how that would be considered awesome." Ari tells him.
Robin shifts in his seat, pulling his legs up, "Well- What I mean is that if all you do is succeed, how is life fun then?"
"...It is probably great and you are capable of anything and life is a walk in the park?" I guess.
"Exactly. Walks in the park are boring! How are you supposed to relate to people if all you do is win? No one will wanna talk to you if all you talk about it that time you won a marathon, or got an A in this super hard college class, or saved the world with a flick of your finger?"
I feel like a lot of people would want to talk to a person like that.
"...But isn't Super Man like that? And everyone wants to talk with Super Man." I ask him
"Super Man doesn't count. You saw how awkward he was with Conner and you are first. It was because he didn't understand making mistakes. Then he made a mistake and found it easier to talk with you."
"...Oh." I frown, nodding slowly, not fully thinking that was what happened, but whatever.
"Arinna, I fail everyday. I make bad choices and struggle. Life is hard! If all you do is succeed then the day you actually fail you won't be able to handle it! You'll learn nothing! You'll just sit there and say that trying is too difficult and so is life, I quit! Life will crush you like a grape, and destroy your soul!"
"Destroy your soul?" I gasp.
He nods, his voice going deep, "Destroy your soul."
"I don't want my soul to be destroyed."
"Then accept failure!"
"What if failure takes away important things though?" I rise to my feet, "Like family and friends and-"
"Kaldur?" he guesses.
I point to him, pursing my lips, "I didn't say Kaldur."
"You thought it."
"I did not."
"You did too!" he rose to his feet, "That is what this is about, isn't it? Kaldur and Tula. You're worried that Tula being here is going to remind Kaldur of his old feelings for her."
"I didn't say that." I argue, "You are putting words into my mouth." But he was totally spot on.
"I'm just saying words that are stuck up in your brain because you have this problem of speaking them out loud when it is so easy to Arinna. It is so easy to tell us that you are having a problem but you never do because you are scared to. For some reason you are scared to tell your friends how you feel!" (It wasn't easy! It was the opposite of easy!)
And it wasn't fully true. I told Rocket. Kind of. I told her I felt something around Tula, not that I couldn't get along with her because of that.
"I..I don't know what to do! What if I-"
"Arinna." Robin says sternly, cutting me off. "Stop."
I lower my arms, my eyes staring at him wildly.
"Listen to me. Calm down. You are getting hung up on all these imaginary problems. You have to focus on what is actually going on. Nothing is wrong between Kaldur and you right now. Kaldur loved Tula once, yes, and maybe deep down he will always love her. Your first love is hard to just forget. But he loves you too, and that is something he won't ever just abandon and you know why?"
Blinking a few times, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself I ask, "Why?"
"Because you are the one who stayed with him. You are more important to Kaldur than Tula."
I sniff at that and nod a couple of times. "...Yeah?" I ask.
"Yes." he nods. "Do you believe me?"
"I… Yeah." I nod slowly, "Yeah I do."
"Good." he holds out his arms.
"Thanks, Robin." I moved to hug him.
He pats my back reassuringly. "Always so emotional. Freaking out for no reason." he teases.
"I will hit you." I chuckle but my voice cracks. Pulling away I beam at him.
Robin smirks at me, reaching over to poke my forehead, "Here is a suggestion. Hang out with Tula. Go invite Gamma to some weird team bonding. I'm sure you'll see you two are more alike than you think, and you have nothing to worry about."
'You think?"
"I know." he pulls me off the couch, "No go. Go forth and fail! Fail my child!"
"I don't think that is suppose to be encouraging."
"Failure breaths success!" he declares.
I chuckle, put pause when Robin calls to me at the door, "Arinna."
"Yes?"
He gives me a solemn look, "I know things are hard right now, and kind of confusing since New years but… we're here for you. Conner is a hot head, but you are his sister and he just wants to look our for you. I know he isn't the best at words, but he tries."
"I… thanks." I nod.
Smiling Robin gives me a thumbs up and I head out.
I pulled out my phone to gather the troops. Waiting until they were all gathered in the training room, I dragged my box of outfits to them.
Rocket stared at curiously, "So you said something about team training, so what exactly are we doing?"
"We are going to bond!" I explain.
"Bonding is a good part of team work." Garth agreed, "However, what do we require that box for?"
Opening it, I reveal several disguises/costumes, "Quick, pick one!" I tell one, scooping up the first one I can find.
Rocket inches towards the box suspiciously, "...Are we playing dress up?" she asked.
"No." I huff.
"Because this really feels like dress up." she picks up an outfit.
"We are not playing dress up. There is a serious reason for this." I insist.
("But we are technically playing dress up-")
"Speak not of what is not happening." I yell at her.
"What?" Tula inquires. I give her a long stare, recalling what Robin said.
"...Just talking to Ari." I wave it off, 'So, I guess yelling at myself? Are we ready?"
Rocket is struggling to throw the outfit over her clothes, leaping around to get her foot into one of the shoes. "I don't like this, Arinna." she says, hopping about.
"I'm not Arinna." I tell her, placing on a scruffily mustache, "I am Lord Revenbard, the beloved if not strange ruler of Pakklingsting who is female, but has a beard."
"We are playing dress up!" Rocket accused me, toppling over when she tripped on the end of her costume.
"Okay, maybe, but only a little." I admit. "Come on now, pick your names."
Huffing a few times, Rocket folds her arms, "...I am a pirate." she says.
"Pirate named?" I motion for her to give me more, "Come on, back ground. Put some meat on your role." I urge her.
She groans, throwing her head back, "Fine! I'm… I'm Fredrickson Helmsworth the III. I have just been shipwrecked after four months on sea with me crew! But alas, almost none of them made it accept…" she points to me, "Accept for Lord Revenbard, who we were escorting back to her homeland before we got shipwrecked."
"Ah! How will I ever get home now?" I wail, scratching at my beard.
Garth clears his throat awkwardly, "I-I can aid you fair travellers." he said quietly, pulling at the ascot tie around his neck. "I am, uh…"
"Timothy." Tula whispers a suggestion.
"Timothy!" he declares. "Timothy the great!"
"And I am Mist!" Tula stands next to him with a similar pose, "Master of the port!"
We run around like this for a while, making up a bizarre little world to live in and using the furniture as land masses for our collection. It kind of become like a weird version of monopoly.
"Lady Mist." I toss her a blanket. "For you illness."
"Lord Revenbard." She gasps, "How did you know of my horrible illness?"
"Clairvoyant is I!" (At least use proper grammar please.) "And… I will help my allies when they need me." I say a little softer, patting her shoulder. Blinking at how serious my tone was, she smiled.
The moment was ruined when a pillow hit my head.
"Give me your land!" Rocket threw a second pillow at me.
"No!" I yell back.
"Give it!" another pillow.
"Firing at an ally goes against our treaty!" I call to her.
"Then give me the land then!"
I slide to the right, only to slip on a pillow and fall to the floor. Grumbling something I lift myself to my knees. I freeze when I find that there is a pair of large feet in front of me. Slowly looking up, I cringe to see Conner looming over me, his hands on his hips. He does not look happy.
"Uh…" I say, "Um…"
He reaches he hands out, placing them under my arms. Blinking a few times, I shriek when he lifts me up. Expecting him to toss me, I was caught off guard when instead he roared.
"I AM CONZILLA!" he started running forward, ramming into Rocket. She screamed, rolling to the side.
"Get it!" she yelled, "Destroy the beast! It's making off with the Lord!" she lifted a rubber sword, chasing after us.
"Nothing escapes the great Timothy!" Garth yells. "Quickly Lady Mist!"
"Right behind you!" Tula chuckles
It was silly and ridiculous. But oh so much fun!
We ran around like that for a little bit, Conner carrying me about as Garth, Rocket and Tula tried to get me back.
At one point though Bat Man started to walk in and we panicked, not wanting to let him see us like this and fled out of the room as fast as we could, abandoning our costumes on our way. I would have to collect them later.
Running wildly around the corner with Conner, breathing heavily, I gasp for air. "I should have just teleported." I tell him.
"Yeah, you should have." He nods.
Chuckling, I glance up at him. "…Hey." I grab his arm. He glances down at me, raising his eye brow. "I'm sorry, about earlier."
"It's fine."
"No, it isn't." my grip tightens, "You were right about before. I don't tell you anything. I'm… childish."
"That isn't anything new." He said.
"I don't want it to be that way though. I want to be better than that." He goes quiet, his shoulder's dropping.
"So then- what was today about?"
"…I feel uncomfortable with Tula being here."
"That's it?" he snorts. I hit him a bit.
"Take this seriously."
"I am."
"You are not." I tell him, "I don't like that Tula- I mean, I'm fine if she is here, I just don't like that she is here when Kaldur is here."
It takes him a few seconds, but I think it clicks with him what the problem is, "Oh."
'Yeah."
Nodding a few times, he reaches his hand up and pats his head, messing up my hair, "You should have just said so, dummy."
"It is hard." I say quietly, "I- I didn't know what that feeling was. I was confused." I kick my foot out, "Stephan was right about me, I am just a kid."
"That is okay."
"You know, everyone keeps saying that, but it isn't. I don't know how to handle things. I was only-" I struggle for a second, "I was born 8 months ago."
"Me too." I look up at him and he is smiling, "I'm in the same boat as you. So if this is about not knowing how to handle your emotions, you can come to me about that. I understand."
"…." A slow smile spreads across my lips and I feel ready to cry. Why couldn't I just tell Conner whenever something troubled me? I felt so much better after I did, so what was the problem? "Pod brethren?" I hold up my fist.
"Pod Brethren." He bumps it with his own. He lowers his fist and motions with his head down the hall. Following the motion, I can see Tula making her way down the other end, struggling to pull off the dress up shoes I gave to her. "You should go talk to her."
Feeling hesitant, but knowing he was right, I nod, "I don't know what to say."
"You could show her the videos. I know they are in your room." He tells me with a little wink. I give him a nervous smile.
"You think?"
"Yes. You got this." He pushes me forward and I stumble. I huff at him and run down to the end of the hall, quick to get into my room and grab the box of videos from under my bed.
Running back out, relieved to see Tula still there, I make a break for her.
"Hey, Tula!" I catch her right as she moved to leave. Turning, she blinks at me, a gentle smile pulling at her lips.
"Yes?" she inquires.
Feeling a little embarrassed, I hold up the box, "I um.. There are the- the videos Conner mentioned earlier. The finger puppets.' I tell her.
"Oh!" she brightens. "May I?" she asks. I hesitate, and nod, pushing pass that feeling in my gut.
Watching her, I lower my gaze, "...I'm sorry." I tell her. She looks up, a little startled.
"For what?" she inquires.
I scratch nervously at the back of my palm, "I- I acted terrible earlier today. It wasn't fair to you."
She didn't seem to understand completely, but chuckles, "No harm done." she insists, "We all have bad days."
"It wasn't a bad day." I shake my head, "It was me, taking my feelings out on you. I've been doing it for a while." I feel even worse know that I realize she didn't even notice this. "I am still really new at… at emotions and feelings and I felt something with you I had never felt before. It made me confused and angry. I had no right to push that on to you when you did nothing wrong."
Blinking once, then twice, Tula lowers her hands. I could tell she didn't fully understand what I meant, or what feeling I was talking about, but there was something in her eyes. She frowns then, looking at her feet, "Everything has been new and strange to me." she says, "Coming to the surface was one of the biggest decisions I have ever made, and honestly, I do not know if it was the correct one. There is a whole world out there for me to discover, and I am too afraid to leave the safety of this cave."
I hadn't expected this, "You are?" I ask, not even realizing she felt this way.
"You are my leader." she nods, "I wish to trust you with these feelings, as you are trusting your feelings to me."
"I- thank you." I feel touched at her trust. She smiles then, patting my shoulder.
"Of course, you are my friend. If you ever have another problem with me, please don't hesitate to approach me on it. I do not know what is thought of as normal or strange up here, and if I act in a way that makes you uncomfortable, I wish to know."
…She was so good. Down to her very core, Tula seemed like such the perfect person. I knew that wasn't true, because no one is perfect, but she was putting in the effort to try and be. I admired that.
"Same." I tell her. "I am really weird and I do weird things, so if it bugs you just tell me."
She chuckles and we shake hands.
With a shared smile, and a few more minutes of small talk, we went on our separate ways, agreeing to meet up for dinner and maybe get to know each other just a bit more.
I felt satisfied with that. I could tell Ari was too.
Because, I mean, it is only April and all these things have already happened. I mean, seriously, this is ridiculous. I'd like to go through one month where I don't have some inner turmoil please.
Moving into the living room, hoping to maybe catch an episode of Sesame street, because even if I am considered a child it can be a show that is enjoyed by all and that is why I am watching it.
Shuffling around to the couch, I stop when I notice someone is already occupying it. It is Kaldur.
Never one to just doze off somewhere, it is a surprising view to find him fast asleep and sprawled about. Quietly, I move to the other side, looking down at his face. His breathing is soft and his face at peace. It made him seem younger.
Smiling, I reach for the blanket on the chair to the side of the room, spreading it out to throw it over his body. Pulling it up to his shoulder, I bent down to my knees, to examine his face a little closer.
My hand trails up his face and over his head, loving the feeling of his blond fuzz on my fingertips. He never liked to grow his hair out, which I am glad, because nothing is fuzzier than a shaved head of hair.
I must have woken him up with my petting because his hand suddenly reaches up to grab my own. "Arinna?" He says softly, his eyes still closed.
"Did I wake you?" I whisper.
"It is alright, I never intended to fall asleep." He assures me, moving my hand to his mouth for him to kiss my knuckles, "What time is it?"
"Almost four." I say, resting my chin on his shoulder,
"Almost an hour." He notes to himself, turning his head to yawn, "How was your day?"
I coo at him, finding it precious to see him so sleepy, "An emotional rollercoaster." I admit.
His eyes open and he turns his whole body to look at me. "What ails you?"
"Nothing anymore." I smile, "I was just-" I chuckle to myself, "I was just being me. Worrying about all the little things when I should just let them go. I just lose myself to them and-"
His grip tightens, "It is alright." He assures me, "I know."
Collapsing against him I laugh at my own foolishness, "I love you."
He leans into me, "And I you."
"I'm sorry I doubted you."
"You doubted me?" he inquires, a touch of worry in his eyes.
"No! Well- Kind of." It spills out and I'm relived to say, "I was worried with Tula here."
He sits up, moving to look at me, "Arinna." His eyes are startled. He doesn't need to explain why I felt this way, he already knew, "I would never choose Tula over you." He promises me, "I am sorry for not noticing these concerns of your earlier."
"It is okay-"
"It is not." He grips my shoulder, "I never want you to feel like that."
"And I don't want you to feel like you have to avoid Tula because of me." I whisper.
He is quiet for a few seconds before saying, "I cannot promise I will never speak with Tula, for she is part of the team, but you need to know that yes I once loved her, but that is no mare. Tula made her choice, and I accepted that. It was very difficult for me, but you helped me through it. You saw me for me. You waited for me, and want to be with me." He lifts my chin to see my face, "I want to be with you, too."
Resting my palms on his cheeks, I sniff. Feeling myself break out into a watery chuckle, I nod and kiss his forehead. "Sorry I'm a mess."
"You are human." He says fondly, "This will pass one day- these worries of yours. I know they will. Until then, and even after then, I will be here."
YAY! We're done!
Quick question people! A lot of you want to see Robin's transforminagation (Cause that is kind of a word, but not really) into NIGHTWING~
And I want to give that to you, but I don't know when/how it happens. I do not know what the actual age Robin was when he became Nightwing, or fully why he did it in the Young Justice universe.
BUT! I would love to hear you ideas! What brings Robin to the point where he leaves Robin behind!? Answer in the reviews or send me a message! I would love to hear from you :D
Cause I really want to get that rolling so we can meet Jason :D