I must announce that this will be the last chapter for a couple of weeks as I am off on my holidays (I hope the sun keeps shining). The story will resume Monday 12th August.

Thank you for all the reviews this week, you guys are as awesome as ever - I can't believe you made it passed the 2000 reviews mark!

SPOILERS - in two weeks time - Erica works out how to get back in her daughter's good graces, Scott solves his childcare issues and makes a new friend, and Gabby thinks she knows what the 'good thing' is going to be and is determined to make it happen.

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Marissa was trying to sleep but Bianca wasn't settling. She was tossing and turning every few minutes and in the narrower guest bed it was hard to escape.

"Is it your leg?" Marissa asked, unable to ignore it any longer.

"It's always my leg." Bianca sighed, sounded much more awake than she should be at that late hour.

Marissa turned and focused on her in the darkness.

"I meant your other leg." she said. "Is it hurting?"

Bianca gave a self-deprecating snort but she remained as she was, staring up at the ceiling.

"It's fine. Just a dull ache."

Marissa didn't buy it however; she could see that clearly something was troubling her girlfriend.

"Or are thinking about Erica." asked Marissa after a beat, thinking that maybe that was the problem. "You were very harsh with her."

"She deserved it." said Bianca, a frown appearing on her forehead. "She tried to kill you!"

"Madison tried to kill me… only it wasn't even that. What happened was an accident."

"But it was her fault."

"She saved my life."

"But it was still her fault." said Bianca. "She couldn't even apologise."

Marissa reached out and stroked Bianca's arm.

"She apologised to me in the hospital, ten times over. I think it scared her."

"It scared me." said Bianca, turning for the first time to look Marissa in the eye. "I couldn't lose you."

"And you didn't… you won't. But you are coming close to losing your mom."

"Why are you standing up for her?" asked Bianca.

"Because I know how much she means to you… And know how lost you are without her... And I know that in a week or so you'll regret this; you'll regret not going to the wedding… And because I hate to see you so angry, it's not who you are."

"I have every right to be angry." said Bianca, turning back to stare at a point on the ceiling "And this wedding won't last five minute. Missing it won't matter; I'll just wait around for the next one."

Even with Bianca's harsh words Marissa could see the lack of conviction in her lovers eyes. She let out a long sigh when she realised the real truth.

"No…" she said slowly. "I was right the first time. This isn't about your mother at all. You were in a strange mood all day; ever since we left the hospital. This is about your leg."

Bianca's eyes widened at being found out and the mask of anger morphed into an expression grief.

"I hate my leg." Bianca said softly. "I hate it… I hate it…"

She looked close to tears and then she sat up suddenly, ponding her fists against her numb left thigh.

"I hate it… I hate it…"

Startled, Marissa sat up too. She leant into Bianca's back, wrapping her arms around her, trying to stop her hurting herself.

"Don't… Don't… Shhhh." soothed Marissa. "Calm down… calm down… It's okay."

"How is it okay?" sobbed Bianca, surrendering to Marissa's embrace. "I was supposed to look after you. It was my turn. I can't even do that."

Marissa sighed again and planted a soft kiss at the nape of Bianca's neck.

"I guess how you were feeling in Paris wasn't all down to the drugs." she said thoughtfully. "I knew that was too easy."

Bianca sank further forward as Marissa curled herself around her girlfriend's back, resting her chin on her shoulder.

"I understand the frustration and rage. I do." said Marissa. "But you don't you talk about it? You just keep saying you're fine?"

"Because most days I am fine." said Bianca. "And then my little girl tries to take me by the hand and I end up bedridden all over again."

"At least you're not in hospital." insisted Marissa, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not yet. Wait until tomorrow."

"What can I do?" Marissa asked, hating to see Bianca so upset.

"What can anyone do?" answered Bianca, the tears starting again. "This is my life now. It is just my life now sucks. It's so unfair!"

She struck out at her leg again in anger.

"What about David," said Marissa, stilling Bianca's hands again "You said he thought he could still cure you?"

"I am not going back to that: the boredom and pain and discomfort and… and enduring weeks of hoping and wishing and then nothing changes. I couldn't bear it. And I can't do that to the kids. They need me here. They need their lives to be settled and back to normal."

"You have to do something." said Marissa. "If it is tearing you up like this…"

Bianca stared down at her leg under the covers.

"It's just, I was supposed to be taking care of you." she said sadly. "It was my turn."

Marissa kissed Bianca's neck once more.

"What do you say we take care of each other." she replied.

Bianca finally turned and gave Marissa a sorrowful smile, wiping the tears from face.

"God, this is unattractive. Sorry I'm so pathetic." she sighed.

"You are incredible." insisted Marissa. "You just have to accept the fact you are human as well, just like the rest of us mere mortals. We won't think any less of you if you admit that you are finding this hard."

Bianca stared into Marissa eyes for a long moment.

"I'm finding this hard." she said.

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I wish I could have left you on a happier chapter.