The next morning, bright and early on Saturday, Chad was sitting nervously in his car, waiting for Ryan. He'd texted him when he was about to leave, and he had just texted again to say he was standing in front of the gate. He was tapping the steering wheel with his fingers, anxiously waiting for Ryan.
When the blond showed up, it was with a fire-red fedora, matching pants, a black dress shirt, and the brightest smile Chad had seen. When Ryan softly yet happily said "Hey," once he got into the driver's seat, Chad immediately felt more at ease.
"Good morning," he said, smiling. "So. Where to?"
"I don't care," Ryan replied. "Just drive."
And so Chad did. "Any preferences on what to do today?" he asked as he shifted back into gear.
"Not really," Ryan said. "Something relaxing. Easy. I don't know."
"Hmm." Chad thought, taking a few turns while thinking over different options. "Are you wearing crazy expensive shoes or just regular expensive shoes?"
Ryan looked at him oddly. "Why? You wanna steal them and sell them on the internet?"
Chad couldn't help but laugh. "No, you idiot. Are they comfortable, are they allowed to get a bit dirty?"
"Sure, I guess," Ryan replied slowly. "Again, why?"
"You'll see." And they drove off in a comfortable silence. Ryan played around with the stereo in the car, and turned up the mix CD he had burned for Chad a while back, singing along to different tunes.
About fifteen minutes later, they'd arrived at the place Chad wanted to show Ryan. "Come on, get out," he urged Ryan as he got out of the car. "We're going for a walk."
"Okay," Ryan replied, still unsure of the situation. But he still started walking next to Chad. "Where are we, anyways?"
"You see that park over there?" Chad pointed to their left. Ryan nodded. "That park is across the road from where I used to live before we moved. I don't remember anything special about the house, really – we moved when I was eight. Most of my memories are from when Stef and Jaime moved in two years before that. But I do remember coming here to the park with my Mom to play as kindergartener. We used to walk in these woods behind the park for hours some days."
"That sounds great." Ryan's voice was soft and he was looking around curiously. "We never did stuff like that. I mean, we did stuff together as a family, even though people just expect my parents dumped us with a nanny twenty-four seven. They didn't do that. But, walking in the woods, stuff like that? We never did that."
"Then what did you do with your family?" Chad asked.
"I don't know," Ryan replied. "Since Sharpay and I have been into theatre since we were little, they had a stage and karaoke system set up in our playroom. Completely soundproof. Later, they expanded it to function as a dance studio, and there was a piano as well." Ryan was smiling at the memories. "Shar and I would rehearse plays we'd make up ourselves, or just would improvise. Mom would sing and play the piano. It was great."
"That sounds great. Jaime and I didn't do that. Though the twins sometimes drag us into their make-belief."
"How old are they now anyways?" Ryan asked. "And what are their names again? You barely ever call them by their names."
Chad laughed. "Mariana and Jesus are almost nine. And I guess I just call them the twins cause they're always so close together. I mean, with the past with their mother, you can't blame them, but it took a while for them to open up and trust us."
"I guess maybe it's just a twin thing."
"Maybe. Sometimes, though," Chad said. "They remind me of you and Sharpay."
Ryan frowned. "How so?"
"I don't know," Chad shrugged, and he started walking backwards so he could get a clear look at Ryan's face. "They are always covering for each other. And usually it's Mariana coming up with the crazy ideas, but Jesus always tags along and they never confess who is to blame. They just. Stick together."
Ryan smiled. "Yeah, I guess that sounds familiar. "
Chad turned back around, and walked close to Ryan. He let his hand rub against Ryan's, and after a few times, Ryan grabbed a hold of Chads hand, which Chad started swinging in between them.
"You and Jaime," Ryan started, unsure how to continue. "You two are close as well?"
"Yeah, we are," Chad said. "I mean, not like twins or anything but when Stef and Lena moved in, suddenly I had a playmate in the house just a year younger than me. And I was just six when that happened. We grew up together. She's my sister."
"But siblings don't always get along," Ryan pointed out. "You two are also friends."
Chad shrugged. "I guess we are." Ryan just nodded and they continued walking for a bit. "It was also nice that she understood," Chad continued after a while. Seeing Ryan's confused look, he explained. "Having two Moms. I love them, but it can be frustrating. Teachers would ask you to fill out this parental sheet, what they do for work and stuff, and it would have Mom and Dad on it. And if you ask what to do when they are divorced, and you don't know your Dad, they just tell you to fill in that of your Mom and stepfather. And they never know how to respond when you say you have two Moms."
"That sucks."
"Yeah," Chad hated that in primary school. "Or, you know, they'd ask the girls if they wanted to do later what their Mom did, and of course – "
"They asked the boys if they wanted to become like their Dads." Ryan rolled his eyes, and held Chad's hand tight. "So what did you reply?"
"I said I wanted to become like my second Mom, because my Mommy had married a cop and she got to lock up bad guys." Chad snickered at the memory. His teachers had never liked that response.
Ryan, however, did, because he was laughing a full belly laugh and had his head thrown back. He kept walking, however.
Chad led them to a bench hidden behind some trees. You could clearly see the path from there but not a lot of people would see or hear them there. They sat down.
"So," Ryan said, breaking the silence. "You kissed me."
Chad swallowed nervously, refusing to let go of Ryan's hand. "I did."
More silence. "Why?"
"Why?" Chad laughed at that, despite being a scared. "Because I like you, you fool."
Ryan looked at him doubtfully, then at their intertwined hands, then back to Chad. "Are you certain of this. I just mean –" Ryan said forcefully before Chad could interrupt, letting go of the darker boy's hand. "That you heard people say I had a crush on you. And all of a sudden you like me. And. It's not that I didn't like that kiss." Ryan's voice got softer. "I really did. It's just that I don't want you to do this out of pity, or as a joke."
"I'd never do that!" Chad interfered. "Truly, Ryan, I'd never. I don't toy with people's emotions, I always try to be honest and straight forwards! I –"
"I know Chad," Ryan's calm voice is what kept Chad from rambling. "I know. But I also know that last week, you didn't know I had a crush on you. And we were friends. And now we're here. And I just don't understand what changed for you. And as far as I knew, you're not gay."
Ryan bit his bottom lip, something he only did when he was nervous. Chad sighed, took a deep breath to gather all the courage he had left, and spoke up. "I'm not gay," he said, forcing the words out. "But that doesn't mean I'm straight, either." Chad took a deep breath before continuing: "And, as for what changed, I guess I just got my head out of my ass?" He gave Ryan a wry smile, which at least got a smile out of the blond boy. "Like I said, Troy said something last Friday, and then so did Jaime. And I talked with people," Chad didn't dare to admit just how much of a Mamma's boy he was just yet, especially after having teased Ryan endlessly for just that. "And I just realised. I thought I liked you as a friend. But it's more than that. I mean, even when I was dating Taylor, I wasn't that interested in spending time with just her, getting to know her, her family. It took me two months before I learned she had an older sister, and I only learned this month she wants to become a lawyer, not a scientist like I assumed. But with you…" Chad averted his eyes. "I can't stand the thought of not spending time with you. Just you. And I want to know you. Really know you."
Chad kept staring at his shoes, stubbornly. He hadn't felt this vulnerable in a while. There were still a lot of things unsaid, but he'd gotten to this point.
Ryan took a few deep breaths, but Chad didn't dare to see what he was looking like. His eyes were so expressive, and if there was any chance Chad was going to get dumped before they even really got together, he wanted to make the moment of maybe last just a bit longer.
"Chad." Ryan said his name, only his name, and Chad loved the sound. "Chad, will you please look at me?"
Chad just moved his eyes first, but when he saw Ryan's face, emotions all open, no hiding, and he looked happy and relaxed, he turned to the boy.
"I can't spend the thought of not spending time with you either," Ryan whispered. This time it was Ryan who made the first move, except this time, it didn't take any time at all for Chad to lean into the kiss.
When they both came up for air, Chad couldn't help but let go of a relieved sigh. Ryan giggled. "Were you really that nervous?" They had their foreheads still pressed together, eyes closed.
"Kinda," Chad confessed. "I was nervous, okay, there was a real chance I was going to lose a good friend."
Ryan laughed and hugged Chad close, wrapping his arms around Chad's shoulders. "How do you think I felt? You're my best friend, you know. And after telling you that, you kissed me!"
Chad started laughing as well. "Yeah, smooth as fuck, that's me," he joked. He held Ryan tight for a moment. He didn't know how many minutes passed by, but after a while, he heard footsteps approaching, and he pulled back.
"Maybe we should go," Chad suggested. Ryan nodded and they got up, walking back to the car with their hands intertwined.
"So." Chad said as they sat back in the car, starting the engine. "Where to, boyfriend?"
Ryan smiled brightly. "Boyfriend," he repeated. "I like that. I like that a lot." He turned back to Chad and leaned forwards, kissing him.
Chad smiled into the kiss. "I could get used to that," he whispered as they separated their lips.
"Well, good, because I like being able to kiss my boyfriend." Ryan smiled, content with himself.
"Then it's a good thing I like kisses," Chad replied cheekily. He got the car out of park and started driving. "So, where to?"
"Just drive, boyfriend," Ryan said, leaning back in the seat, closing his eyes. "Just drive."