Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or its characters
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, my life has been hectic and I haven't had a chance to take a breathe.
Sorry in advance for any grammar of spelling mistakes.
This chapter is for kaila09100 who is becoming a good friend and great adviser to me.
Adam has been tossing and turning all night, he is consumed with guilt about having sex with Bianca. No matter what Owen has done to him in the past, it doesn't make it okay for Adam to betray their newly formed truce. I need to talk to the one person who makes me want to be a better me, but if I call and tell what I did she might not want to talk to me anymore. Oh man she's going to be so disappointed in me, why do I always make the wrong decisions. He looks at his phone, I shouldn't call her right now this early in the morning, but I need to talk to her. She always makes me see things clearly, who knew that one tiny strawberry blonde could have such an influence over me.
He looks at his phone again and sighs, only one minute has gone by. He closes his eyes and hits the call send button, it rings a couple of times before he hears the beautiful angelic voice he has been missing, "Adam? You do realize it's three in the morning, wait, is something wrong?"
Adam hears Becky's voice go from sleepy and groggy to fully awake within a split second, "no nothing is seriously wrong, I just missed your voice."
"Aw Adam, that's so sweet, but that can't be the only reason you called me so early," she knows there is something on Adam's mind and it must be eating him up inside.
She hears him take a deep breath as if he trying to muster up some courage to tell her what is bothering him, "Becks I did something really bad and completely wrong."
"Adam what is it? You know you can tell me no matter what it is?" she is now beginning to worry about what he has done and hopes it isn't something so bad that it's unforgivable.
Just rip off the Band-Aid, "I had sex with my ex-girlfriend who is in a relationship with someone. Becky I disrespected their relationship and I feel as if I have betrayed you as well." Somehow saying this out loud makes him feel worse and even guiltier than before. He can't stop the tears that are now sliding down his face, "what was I thinking?"
"Adam, listen to me, the fact that you feel so guilty about it means something. As far as you betraying me, yes it feels like you have stabbed me in the heart and it hurts, but you and I aren't together so technically you haven't done anything wrong against me." Both of them stay silent for a little before Becky breaks the silence, "maybe you should talk to your ex in a public place about what you are feeling about the incident. You know clear the air and make sure she knows that what happened between the two of you won't happen again." She can hear him sniffle a little, "if it means anything to you, I forgive you for having intercourse with her, only because I can tell how truly sorry you are and how much you regret what happened."
"Thank you, I feel so much better knowing you forgive me and don't hate me. You're right I should talk to her about it later on today, in a public place of course." He can't believe how much talking to her has helped him, "you don't know how much I've been missing you, and I really wish you were here with me. When you're around my life is so much better and brighter somehow, you make me better."
"Adam, that's the sweetest thing anybody has ever told me," she smiles into the phone, glad he can't see the blush that has crept onto her cheeks. She looks at the time, "call me after you talk to your ex, I'm going to try and go back to sleep."
"I'll make sure to call you right after and I'm sorry I woke you up I just really needed to hear your voice and you always give the best advice. Sweet dreams, bye Becks." He hangs up the phone feeling a hundred times better than he felt before he called her, he clicks on Bianca's name and sends her a text.
Adam: Bianca we need to talk, meet me in the park in the morning say around ten? He isn't expecting her to answer but to his surprise he gets a response immediately.
Bianca: I think that's a good idea see you at ten at the bench at the center of the park.
Adam: Okay, see you then
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Bianca takes a seat on the bench and looks around for any sign of Adam, two minutes later she sees him walk her way with his hands the front pocket of his hoodie. He takes a seat next to her, "hey Bee."
"Hey," she says quietly and waits for him to talk about what is on his mind and she has a fairly good idea what it is he wants to talk about.
"What we did yesterday shouldn't have happened, it was wrong and it was my fault. I just want to tell you how sorry I am, I was too aggressive and didn't give you a chance to say no." Adam looks her, "I should have just walked away and not have went back to your house."
"It's not all your fault, I could have said no at anytime and I know you would have stopped, but I didn't want to stop. So there isn't any need for you to apologize to me, we are both guilty. Owen is so good to me and he doesn't deserve to be hurt by this, so I'm asking you to not tell him or anybody." She sees him nod his head and continues, "We can never be alone together in a place where we are tempted by one another and what we did can never happen again, Owen doesn't deserve to be cheated on." Adam looks away and she can there is something else he isn't telling her and it's something he feels guilty about, "Adam, whatever it is that you need to tell me, just tell me don't hold back."
"When I tell you, you're going to hate me and not want to talk to me anymore," he gets up and starts pacing back and forth making her a little dizzy.
"Adam stop pacing and sit down and tell me," she pulls him by his arm and sits him down.
"Promise me you will let me explain everything before you say or do anything," he runs his fingers through his hair nervously.
"Okay, I promise to wait until you are done talking to do anything or say anything."
He takes a deep breath, maybe I shouldn't tell her, but then again she deserves to know. "Initially the reason why I decided to have sex with you is because I wanted revenge. Revenge against Owen because of all the things he has done to me," he chances a glance at Bianca and can see hurt written all over her face. "That is what I told myself at first but then I realized it was about something more, Bianca you have been my first everything and I guess I wanted you to be my first again. You know the first person I'm with, with this new body," he lets out a little laugh. "To me it had to be you," he shrugs his shoulder.
"That's actually kinda sweet in a way, you know you wanting me to be your first…again," she bumps his shoulder with her own. "I can't believe you were going to use me for revenge," she adds as an afterthought.
"I know I'm sorry, Drew thought it was a good idea and I was stupid to even listen to him," Adam looks around the park and just enjoys the quiet of the morning.
"You know maybe next time you shouldn't listen to Drew."
"Trust me there won't be a next time," he looks at her, "Friends?"
"Sure, but for Owen's sake we have to act normal as if nothing has happened," she doesn't like the idea of lying to Owen but this is one lie she must tell or an innocent person will be hurt.
"Okay," Adam gets up from the bench. "I better go, Drew is waiting for me."
"Let me guess, you guys are going to the gym?"
"Yup, I know it sounds weird but working out gives me energy and make me feel good," he holds open his arms for a hug and Bianca gets up and wraps her arms around him. She instinctively breathes him in, "Bee, did you just sniff me?"
She gets out the hug, "no, you're delusional."
He knows she's lying and he can't help but laugh, she hits him on his arm, "ouch, you hit hard and it's okay to smell me I know I smell good."
"You're such a dork," she pushes him away.
"Bye Bee, I'll see you around," he jogs away leaving her standing in the center of the park by herself.
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Adam has been back in Toronto and has yet to hang out with any of his friends so he decides to text Clare and see if she wants to get together and catch up.
Adam: Hey, its Adam and I just wanted to let you know I'm back in Toronto. I was thinking maybe we could hang out and you can tell me about everything that I've missed.
Clare: Sounds fun maybe I can invite some of our friends to my house and we can have a little party, a movie night perhaps?
Adam: the more friends the merrier and movie night sounds awesome. Got to go, my mom's calling me down for dinner.
Clare: Okay, I'll call or text you with the details but I'm thinking tomorrow night.
Adam: Tomorrow night will be perfect, thanks Clare.
Adam races down stairs to dinner, he can smell his mom's food and it's making his mouth water, "Mom, your food smells delicious."
"Thank you Adam, it's your favorite, arroz con pollo." Audra sets the food on the table and Adam and Drew pile the food on their plates. "You know boys your father and I have to eat too."
"So Adam how's Bianca?" Drew asks trying to hide a smile that is forming on his face.
Adam glares at Drew, silently telling him to shut up, "Adam, please tell me you are not back together with that girl. She's nice, but she's not good enough for you. Now Becky on the other hand…"
"Mom, Bianca and I aren't back together. She has a boyfriend and I'm not interested in her that way anymore." Adam senses Drew is about to open his mouth to say something that is probably stupid so he decides to kick him under the table.
"Ouch," Drew rubs his leg and looks at Adam and mouths, "what was that for?"
"You know why," Adam mouths back still glaring at Drew.
"So I was thinking about going to a movie tomorrow, did you want to come with me?" Drew asks Adam while stuffing his face with chicken.
"Sorry bro, I have plans already."
"With Bianca or Abbey?" This time Drew can't keep in his laughter.
"Not that it's any of you information Andrew, but I'm going over to Clare's tomorrow night." Adam thinks if he should kick Drew again or not but decides not to, he'll get his revenge at a later time.
"Wow moving in on Clare, what will Eli think?" this time Adam kicks Drew as hard as he can making Drew cry out in pain.
"Please tell me you are not reverting back to your old way. What about all the things you and Becky have been working on? Are you just going to throw that all away?" Audra is looking at Adam in disbelief, they haven't even been here a week and he is looking to hook up.
"Geez, relax, Clare is setting up a welcome back movie night for me and inviting some of our friends. Thanks for having so much faith in me," he gets up from the table and makes his way to his room and gets ready for bed. He can't believe his mom thinks so little of his will power. Sure he already hooked up with Bianca, but that was different. Bianca is someone who is important to him and not just some random hookup. Now he knows he can't tell Drew about Bianca because he will gloat and tell Adam I told you so and make him feel more ashamed than he already feels about the situation.
He gets ready for bed and text Becky goodnight and he waits for her response before he closes his eyes thinking about the movie night and how fun it will be to see his old friends again.
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The next morning Clare is at the store with Alli and Jenna, she is picking up supplies for the movie night tonight. She decides to divide and conquer with getting the party supplies. "Alli you go pick out some chips and salsa, Jenna can you pick out some candy, cookies, and some popcorn, and I will pick out some beverages."
They all go their separate ways and Clare makes her way to the beverage aisle, she is looking between the Pepsi products and Coke products wondering which soda Adam prefers. She is so focused on the task that she doesn't see a certain green eyed girl heading her way.
"Hey Clare, fancy seeing you here."
Clare turns around to see who is talking to her, "oh Abbey, hey how are you?"
"I'm good, so what brings you here seriously contemplating which soda to buy?"
Clare remembers Eli telling her how Abbey and Adam used to be good friends so she decides to invite her to the movie get together, "well Adam just moved back to Toronto and we are having a welcome back movie party tonight, did you want to come? It's tonight and I remember my boyfriend Eli telling me you and Adam were friends."
"Adam's back?" I wonder why he didn't call me, we ended our relationship on a good note. "You know what I would love to. Here's my phone number you can text me all the details." Abbey takes out a piece of paper and writes down her number, "thanks for the invite, I'll see you guys tonight and Adam loves Mountain Dew."
"Thanks," Clare sighs in relief because she didn't know which drink she was going to choose and she could have been there for a while.
"No, problem and Clare if it's okay don't tell Adam I'm going to be there. I want it to be a surprise." Clare nods her head in agreement and Abbey takes this as her cue to leave, with one final wave she makes her way down the aisle to go look for her mom.