Marissa had retrieved her laptop from the bedside table the moment Bianca had left for the hospital. She still had a lot to do to the Joossen contract and the deadline was fast approaching. She was just rewording the clause securing the original Joossen warehouse building in perpetuity when Erica entered.

"I was wondering if you wanted an early supper." she said.

Marissa checked her watch, it was almost four. Where had the time gone? And where was Bianca?

"No… I'll wait until Bianca returns." said Marissa, giving Erica a grateful smile. "But thank you. Is there any word from the hospital?"

"No, not yet. Do you need anything else?"

"No, I'm fine." said Marissa turning back to her computer.

Erica however stayed hovering nearby.

"We've never really talked have we?" she said, interrupting Marissa's chain of thought.

Marissa stopped typing and looked up.

"No, I suppose we haven't."

Erica took a cautious seat on the bed beside Marissa.

"It may be a little late… but I thought maybe it would be a good thing if we did."

Marissa straightened up and put her computer to one side. Erica was probably right. There was still a tension between them that need to be bridged for Bianca's sake if nothing else.

"What do you want to talk about?" Marissa asked.

"You… who you are… and why you love my daughter?"

"You don't know how I could love your daughter?" Marissa asked in surprise.

"To be honest no, I don't. One minute you are a straight woman and the next you are moving in with my daughter." said Erica quite abruptly, but then she looked a little embarrassed by her tone. "I know I missed a lot in the months in-between, but to me that seems a huge leap." Erica sighed. "Bianca has fallen for former straight women too many times for me to just have faith it would work out. They just break her heart."

"But I won't." insisted Marissa.

"That's what they said too."

"So you want to know how fell in love with your daughter."

"Yes."

"The fact that I fell in love with her twice isn't enough?"

Erica's face said it wasn't.

Marissa wrinkled her brow and thought back.

"I always say that I realised that it was more going on between us than just friendship after Bianca confessed her attraction to me. That was the moment I was forced to face up to the fact that if the choice was between JR and Bianca; then Bianca would always win. But in truth I was… attracted… to her long before that. I even had dreams about her. When I followed her to Saint Barts… When I stayed with Bianca after your abduction, I seriously considered giving in to my curiosity and asking her out for a drink when we got home. That thought lasted all of five second and then JR showed up with AJ and reality sank in. Bianca was mourning the loss of her marriage and I was running from an embarrassing incident with JR. Neither of us was in a good place and I dismissed it as idle fantasy on my part. After our ordeal with Ricky it was harder to ignore but I'm a goddam coward and I didn't really know what to do with my feelings. I let JR draw me back in because it felt safer than giving into the unknown. I thought he was a new man, but everything that had made me fall for him again had all come from Bianca…" Marissa leaned closer to try and get her meaning across to Erica, who was still looking at her with a blank expression. "I've never been the brave one, but somehow Bianca has always made me feel brave."

"So before Bianca you had never been with another woman?"

"No." said Marissa. "But I always considered myself pretty open minded, especially after some of the things I saw when working in that massage parlour. I'm just not very worldly. I've always been a bit of a geek. Growing up I just had my family… my adopted family. I always felt a little out of place. When you are adopted you always wonder who your real parents are… why they gave you up… if they were still alive?"

"You must have been very disappointed when you finally met them." said Erica

Marissa gave Erica a disapproving look for her dig at her mother.

"Not really. I'm just trying to explain that I have never been all that confident. I used to dye my hair brown so I wouldn't stand out…"

"I remember."

"I think JR was the first man to ever show a real interest in me. Then it got so intense after his cancer… And of course there was adorable little AJ as well. When I look back now it's hard to believe I was so naive, I was almost a different person. I think I always knew though that it wasn't really JR I fell in love with. I fell in love with the idea of a family and a home and it was flattering to have someone pay attention to me like that. No one had before. I know for him I was really just a substitute for Babe, and a poor one at that. It wasn't the surest foundation for a great marriage. And then Annie came along and… Scott. In the end we were so dysfunctional it couldn't last. Not even for AJ's sake."

"Yes but one bad experience doesn't turn most women gay."

"It didn't. It wasn't an orientation issue. It was bravery issue. You know I think Bianca and Kendall were the first people to ever push me to step out of my comfort zone and just loose it and do what I wanted. When I was trying to get over the grief when I thought David was dead, I trashed a hotel room under their guidance. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life. After that things got easier. I got braver. After the divorce I just asked myself the question, why was I letting other people run my life? I was free. I should act that way. I decided to give JR back as good as I got. I decided to be myself!"

"So you stopped dying your hair."

Marissa nodded her head.

"I stopped dying my hair, I got whole new look and tried to be a better person… for me."

"And Bianca?"

"And Bianca was Bianca. What began as a client/lawyer relationship just grew so naturally. I've never been closer to another living person. We could tell each other anything. We'd finish each other's sentences… Sometimes we didn't have to speak at all. I loved her more fiercely than any friend I've ever had. I was just too scared to take that one last step because, even with my great plan to be myself, I was still scared about what people would say."

"What changed?"

"I realised JR was never going to be the person who understood me and got me the way I wanted. I realised I already had that with Bianca. I just had to be brave enough to accept it. I thought when I kissed her it would be this giant leap into this chasm, terrifying but exhilarating at the same time. But it was easier than that. It felt right, even when she pulled away and all but broke my heart by saying it was a mistake."

"So Bianca doubted you."

Marissa nodded.

"Like you said she'd had her heart broken a lot. But I wasn't going to give up! I'd taken that step, and rather than being hard it was easy and I wasn't going to take it back. I couldn't bear to. I told everyone who would listen that my heart belonged to Bianca, and eventually she got the message."

Marissa gave Erica a warm smile.

"I probably shouldn't be saying this to her mother, but our first night together was… incredible. That part had always made me a little nervous. Bianca is such a beautiful woman but until that night I had no idea how beautiful… Until that night no one had ever made me feel so…so…"

Erica harrumphed a bit.

"…Loved… I was going to say loved." said Marissa quickly, realising she may have said a little too much.

"So you love her?" said Erica.

"Like no other." said Marissa. "I never thought I would have this, a beautiful home, three incredible children and a partner I would give the world to without a second's thought..."

Erica nodded.

"I've been very selfish." she said slowly.

"I'm not going to argue with you there." said Marissa.

"I just want my daughter to be happy."

"And that is all I want as well." said Marissa.

"So I'm beginning to see." said Erica looking down thoughtfully. "I've been such a fool."

"You've hurt Bianca badly with your behaviour and there are a lot of wounds to heal over, and she was already trying to heal her own wounds. But if you are truly sorry I think she'll forgive you eventually."

"You're being very generous about this considering I almost got you killed."

"You also saved my life." said Marissa. "And besides, you're too important to Bianca. She needs you in her life and I've made it my mission to make sure Bianca always has what she needs."

…