A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I hope this chapter lives up to expectations!
Erin could hear someone calling her name but it was sounded muffled, like she was underwater. She tried to start taking inventory of her body. The intense pain in her groin hit her and everything came rushing back. Pete was on top of her and hurting her. Her eyes flew open, not truly seeing the scene in front of her as she tried to push away from whoever was touching her. Several hands held her down as she fought against them. She screamed, trying to free herself from his grasp. She had to get away. She had to stop him from hurting her. She had to stop this pain.
"Erin! You're okay. You're okay, it's Brett and Jay!" Brett let a few tears fall as she watched her friend fighting against her, knowing that Erin was fighting because she thought she was still in the hands of that bastard. She couldn't imagine the horrific images that were in Erin's head.
"You're safe. You're in the ambulance." Jay spoke calmly, trying to hold back his own tears. Witnessing the love of his life struggle against him was shattering his heart. He knew that she wasn't really struggling against him, but against the piece of shit that had hurt her. It didn't make it any easier to watch. "You're safe." He repeated. He didn't know what else to say. He knew there weren't any magical words that would make it better.
"Jay?" Erin whispered after a few more seconds of struggling. Her eyes started to lose the glossy layer as she tried to focus in on Jay. She stopped thrashing on the stretcher as she started to realize she was no longer tied up. She was so terrified that it all might have been a mirage and she was going to look up and it would be Pete.
"Yea, honey. It's me." Jay wanted to scoop Erin up in a hug and squeeze away this pain forever. It was breaking him to see Erin suffering like this. Erin looked around the ambulance as she tried to center herself. It was the hardest thing for Jay to stop himself from reaching out and touching Erin's face. He wanted to comfort her so badly, but he did not want to scare her. "We're going to be at Chicago Med soon."
"I just want to go home." Erin sobbed out, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't want to go to the hospital and have people poking around down there. She knew something was very wrong but she wanted to be in her own home. She wanted to take a hot shower that she might never come out from. She needed to wash him off of her. She didn't know if she could ever get clean again but she wanted to start trying.
"I know Erin, baby, but the doctors have to check you out." Jay spoke quietly. "Do you want me to hold your hand?" He asked, remembering with a pang of sadness what had happened last time he had reached out without asking first. Erin nodded meekly, her face flashing with embarrassment when she remembered what had happened last time Jay reached out for her. She felt awful. She knew Jay wouldn't hurt her. Jay slowly reached out and grabbed the hand closest to him, squeezing it gently between his two hands. Her fingers were cold as ice.
"We're here." Gabby announced as she brought the ambulance to a stop in the emergency bay. She had called ahead to get Dr. Natalie Manning to be the one to take the case. Erin was going to need a woman doctor and someone who could be calm and quiet. She couldn't think of anyone better qualified to take care of Erin. Jay helped Brett and Gabby carefully lower the stretcher to the floor, trying to minimize the jostling as much as possible. The pained look on Erin's face wasn't lost on any of them.
"Hey Erin." Natalie greeted Erin in a gentle tone. "We're going to get you fixed up." She gave her the best reassuring smile she could. Erin just stared back at her, not sure if there was any proper response. She would rather pull out her own teeth than be here. She had been a cop long enough to know exactly what Natalie was going to do and where she would be poking and prodding. "Let's get her into Trauma 2." They carefully wheeled her into the trauma bay. A quiet hush fell over the doctors and nurses who knew and cared for Detective Lindsay as they saw her being wheeled in.
"Can they stay, please?" Erin begged, looking at Brett, Gabby, and Jay. She didn't want to be left with a bunch of strangers. She knew her entire body was going to be exposed. It felt like her soul was being shredded. Natalie glanced up at Brett and Gabby and they both nodded. They had been able to finish their shift when they got the call about Erin. Everyone knew that there was no way Jay would step away from Erin's side.
"We're not going anywhere." Gabby had texted already texted Casey and let him know that she wouldn't be home until extremely late. She wasn't going to leave Erin's side. Brett jerked her head up and down vigorously. There was nothing more important than being with Erin right now.
"On three, we're going to pull you over, okay? This will give us more room to work." Natalie didn't want to surprise Erin with anything. She had been advised that there was heavy bleeding and she wanted to get this rape kit over as quickly as she could so she could get Erin fixed up. Erin took a deep breath, knowing that it was going to hurt just as much as last time. Once everyone had a grip of the sheet, they pulled Erin as gently as they could onto the hospital gurney. Erin bit down on her lip, trying not to scream but she couldn't stop herself. This pain erupted inside of her every time she moved. Even the act of breathing caused excruciating pain. Everyone in the room winced at the harsh sound. "We're going to give you more pain medication, okay?"
"Please just let me go home." Erin sobbed, reaching out and grabbing onto Jay's shirt to try to center herself. There weren't words to put to the intensity of the pain. She looked up and Jay and couldn't figure out why he didn't look repulsed. She knew that she was broken now and wondered why he was still here. She was glad that he hadn't gone yet, because his strength was helping ground her.
"I'm going to get you home as soon as I can. Just let me take a quick look." Natalie wanted to get this over as fast as possible for Erin's sake. Carefully, Gabby and Brett helped moved Erin's legs so that Natalie could get a look. Both of them had to force themselves to keep moving her legs when Erin couldn't stop herself from letting out another cry of pain. They knew that this was the only way for Erin to get help but hurting her more made them both feel disgusting. More tears fell from Erin's eyes as she desperately clutched to Jay's shirt. Every tiny movement caused a sharp pain to flare deep inside of her. It felt like someone was scrapping her insides out with a dull blade. Natalie felt like someone had stabbed her in the heart as she took in the damage. The destruction was beyond anything that she had ever seen in a rape case. She knew that this was way beyond a few stitches. This was going to require extensive work to fix. Natalie knew cosmetic surgery might be in Erin's future. She quickly took a few swabs for evidence and let the sheet back down. She felt anger rising in her that someone had done this to someone so incredible and caring.
"What's wrong?" Jay knew the look on Natalie's face wasn't going to be good news. He could tell from the white knuckled grip that Erin had on his shirt that she was still in an extreme amount of pain. Her pupils were dilated and her face was beyond pale. He couldn't stand to see her suffering like this but he wasn't going to let her deal with this alone.
"There are a lot of deep cuts. I think the best thing we can do is take her up to surgery and take care of the cuts while you're under. It is going to be a lot of stitches." Natalie knew a local anesthetic wasn't going to even touch the pain Erin would feel once she started stitching the already tender and bruised area. Erin shook her head. Now that she was awake, she didn't want to close her eyes again. "Erin, I know you don't want to be put under but this is beyond what can be done while you're awake. I can be with you through the entire procedure."
"Please." Erin didn't have the strength to argue. The little strength Erin had left was devoted to keeping the darkness in the corners of her eyes at bay. The lack of fight that Erin put up was not lost on Jay. Erin never gave in without a fight. "Make the pain stop." She wanted to stay awake, but this pain had to go away. She couldn't stand it any longer. Natalie acknowledged Erin's consent and stepped out of the room to get the OR prepared. The sounds of Erin's cries as she left the room tore her deep in her gut. These were the hardest days to be a doctor.
"Erin's going to be okay." Natalie ran her fingers through her hair as she stepped into the waiting room. The entire Intelligence Unit plus several other officers were crammed inside the tiny area. They all stood up when Natalie entered the area. "She's still not awake yet from the anesthesia. She won't be up for visitors for a while, but when she is, please remember to be careful. Don't touch her without asking and no loud noises. Be calm and quiet around her. Right now, the best thing you guys can do for her is be patient and give her time to heal."
"This is bullshit!" Ruzek couldn't stop himself as he erupted, kicking the hard plastic chair. He got a lot of satisfaction from the sound of it cracking as it broke. Erin was his best friend, his sister, his teammate, and some scum of the earth had hurt her. He started to kick another chair but he knew that breaking hospital property wasn't fixing anything. He grabbed the sides of his heads with his hands as he sank down against the wall. T\
"We'll get her through this." Antonio's blood was boiling but he was trying to keep it together for Erin. Natalie had said that Erin would need calm. He couldn't wait to hit the boxing gym. He planned on punching the bag until his knuckles were bloody. He looked over at Voight and Atwater to see what their expressions were. If it had been physically possible, Voight would literally be on fire. His expression was one that made Antonio cringe. The piece of shit who raped Erin should be glad he was dead. Atwater just looked numb. He was staring out the window with his arms crossed tightly, like he was trying to comfort himself. Jay was curled up in the corner, devastated that he had had to leave Erin's side. Every time anyone tried to talk to him, he just pushed them away. The guilt had fully set in now and no one knew how to even begin to touch his feelings. Everyone knew this wasn't on Jay but Jay would have to convince himself of that.
"I'll let you guys know when you can see her." Natalie knew that Erin's team cared about her, but seeing their raw emotions to the news really hit home. This was their sister and close friend that had been hurt in a way that would affect her for the rest of her life. She turned and left the room to go back and check on Erin. There was a long road ahead of Erin but Natalie knew that she had the best support system that anyone could ask for.
This seemed like a good stopping point. This is an extremely hard story to write, but I wanted to try to do it justice.