You guys are going to go through so many emotions in this chapter that at the end you are going to be a babbling goo monster. Tell me at the end if I have lied.
Frederick stretched out on his bed, his bones popped with his movements and he moaned as the sleep fell from his eyes. His hair was messy and his eyes were puffy from the good night sleep that he had received. The other side of his bed was empty and he smiled at the indention of Carolyn's body that she left that would always remind him that she was a real being that occupied his bed.
He smiled as he listened to the soft pitter-patter of Carolyn's feet on his bathroom floor as she prepared herself for her work day. He could hear her spitting water and toothpaste into the sink and he could hear her soft cussing about how her hair refused to stay in the right place.
"You're up early," he called out to her as his fingers ran absently along the bottom hem line of his black tee.
He felt like he was one half of a happily married couple that had really great sex. Everything had become so domesticated between the two of them so fast, but it hadn't taken away from the fantastic feelings that always felt new and right when they made love.
"One of the waitresses called in sick," he heard her answer from behind the bathroom door, "They asked if I could come in."
"You should have told them no," he informed her as he continued to lounge on the bed, his eyes moved from the door to the ceiling, "it is your birthday after all."
"It's only half a day," Carolyn answered, "and I could use the extra cash to pay off the rest of my tuition."
He looked away from the ceiling and back to her as her sweet voice filled the bedroom once again. He felt his heart stop as he viewed her in the morning light. He had seen her so many times like this, and each time it took his breath away. She stood in the door frame in nothing but a lacy white slip and matching bra.
She was still a vision in white.
He didn't try to hide his gaze from her as his eyes grazed over her body, slowly taking in each freckle and imperfection on her body. He'd memorized where each freckle painted her skin and if he had possessed any artistic skill at all he could have drawn her with every detail realistically put in place.
"I can give you some money if you need it," he answered with a shrug as he watched her turn away from him, giving him the perfect view of her backside as she bent over to pull her hair into a high ponytail before slipping into her uniform for the day.
"I'm not asking you to help me with this, Frederick," she answered as she leaned over to finish with her make-up that he knew she had started on as soon as she woke up and pulled herself out of their bed.
"No, but I can help you," he insisted as he pulled himself out of bed with the help of his cane that lay against the bed frame, "you are someone I care about," he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, "and it is your birthday."
He felt her shaky breath leave her as she laughed at his advances. He felt the warmth of her body against his chest. He felt the fiery warmth inside of him grow hotter as her fingers absently ran over his arm hair as he held her in the tight embrace. He placed his lips upon her shoulder and kissed her softly.
"You're going to make me late," he heard her whisper in his ear as she laid her head back against his shoulder in a successful tactic to give him more access to touch her neck just like she enjoyed, "…again."
He smiled at that last word that escaped her lips. They had both been late on several of the colder, snowy mornings, but he felt it was worth it. The patients in his asylum would remain insane for the time being, but he had finally been given the gift of a warm and loving embrace of a beautiful woman and he was going to take every spare moment that he was given to be with her before he had to go back to eventually making a name for himself.
He watched as she turned to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed a kiss upon her lips and smiled at her as they slowly made their way back to the bed. Her knees buckled against the mattress and they fell upon the bed in a loving embrace.
Frederick couldn't help but smile at her. He slowly touched her cheek and removed a stray strand of hair from her face. He so desperately wanted to tell her those three words that had been dancing on the tip of his tongue for the longest time.
"What," he heard her ask and he soon realized that he had been staring at her without saying anything.
He shook his head at her question and replied, "I was just looking at you."
"Why," she asked.
Frederick could see the little worry lines that crossed her face as she laid under his chest. He moved slightly to make sure she was comfortable underneath him and he smiled as she adjusted herself underneath him.
"Is there something on my face?"
He didn't answer as he took in the woman that had changed his life so dramatically.
"Frederick," she whispered and placed her hand upon his cheek, "What's wrong?"
"There's nothing wrong," he heard himself whisper to her as he pulled her hand away from his cheek to place soft, light kisses upon her hand, "I was just thinking about you."
She shifted under him and smiled, "What about me?"
"I was just thinking about the colors that you brought into my life," he revealed as he took in her sparkling eyes and the way her lips turned upwards in a shy smile, "you've made me happier than I have ever been or could ever dream of being."
"Frederick," she whispered as she leaned forward and placed a loving kiss upon his lips. Her fingers caressed his cheeks and slowly moved into his hairline as the kiss deepened.
He held in the moan that wished to escape him as he felt her fingers swim through his hair. An act that always drove him crazy. He slowly, reluctantly broke the kiss and positioned himself above her. He hadn't been able to be on top of her because of his limited activities, but he could please her in other ways.
"What are you doing," he heard her ask as he slowly, teasingly caressed her skin with the tips of his fingers.
He trailed his fingers down her thighs as he kissed softly at the small scar on her belly like she had done to his scars plenty of times. He softly placed apologetic kisses upon the old memory as his fingers drew circles upon her thighs as he took his time apologizing with sweet kisses.
"Frederick," she whispered with a shaky, husky tone that sent his mind reeling. He could feel the blood rushing through his abdominal region as he caressed her.
He looked up to Carolyn from under his lashes to see her head lulled back and her lids fluttering from the touches that he was giving her. If he were asked months ago, he'd say that he would never be pleasing a woman like this.
The smell of her perfume lingered on her skin and it tasted better than the wine that Hannibal Lecter served at all of his fancy cannibal dinner parties.
"I'm wishing you a happy birthday," he answered as he pulled the bottom of her slip upwards and let it sit forgotten on her hips.
He slowly let himself slip off of the bed where he sat on his knees and pulled her white panties slowly off of her legs where he let them fall to the floor. He placed himself between her legs. The anticipatory breaths that were escaping her chest caused the pumping of his blood to pump even faster. Small beads of sweat seeped through the skin of his forehead just as he placed a small kiss upon the small indentions on her flesh that her panties had left their before he pleased her any further.
Her fingers rushed through his hair and tugged ever so slightly as he slowly teased her with soft kisses before. She was pushing him over the edge with her shaky breathing and the way her fingers danced through his dark hair.
The only thing that he could think about as she shoved his head between her legs after growing tired of his teasing kisses was hoping that he could be good at this act because he'd only seen it done in old porno videos that his cousins had showed him when he was a teenager. He'd never had the chance to perform this act and he was nervous, though he wasn't going to let her know that.
He just really hoped that she'd be happy at the end of this experience.
...
Carolyn bit her lip as she thought of her morning with Frederick. Her cheeks felt red as she thought about what had occurred between the two of them after he had revealed to her that she had brought colors to his life…which still wasn't an I Love You Carolyn Long, but it was close.
She needed to get this giddiness out of her. She couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Cheryl," she heard herself ask with a slyness that she had never heard her voice carry before, "Can I ask you something?"
"Go for it kiddo," Cheryl answered as she filled ketchup bottles before the lunch rush bombarded them.
"It's kind of personal," she explained, "so I get it if you don't want to answer. I just need to get something off my chest."
"Hit me with your best shot."
"Okay," she whispered and took a deep breath, "have you ever, uhm," she looked around for eavesdroppers and leaned closer to her older friend with a shy smile, "have you ever screamed during, you know…"
"Sex," Cheryl asked.
"Well, not exactly," Carolyn said, "It was," she gave a naughty smile and looked towards the hem of her yellow dress, "…you know."
She watched as Cheryl's eyes grew wide in shock at her confession.
"Lover Boy went down on you?!"
"Shhh! Not so loud," she shushed in horror as she quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard. Relief came over her as she realized that everyone was busy in the kitchen to be paying attention to their conversation.
"He's never went down on you before," Cheryl asked in astonishment.
She shook her head as her face turned bright red, "This morning was the first time. I've never had that happen before. So I'm just curious, I've never screamed during," she bit at her lip in embarrassment before continuing, "those kinds of things."
"And you screamed," Cheryl asked, still in disbelief.
"Yeah," she whispered with a small nod, "it's never happened so fast like that."
"God damn," Cheryl whispered with a shake of her head as if she were regretting some life choices that she had made, "I should have been nicer to that man."
"It was a birthday present," she informed her friend and co-worker, "and it was a damned good one."
"I can't believe you screamed," Cheryl answered, "You know I've only screamed twice in all of the relationships that I've had and it wasn't because of being eat out. He must have a feisty tongue. I can't believe I almost spat in his coffee."
"Cheryl," Carolyn teased with a smile, "that's not funny!"
"So what else is Lover Boy got planned for your birthday?"
"We're going out to dinner," she answered, "That's all I know. He texted me to tell me he had a big surprise for me earlier."
"Maybe he's got an engagement ring," Cheryl concluded with a shrug, "Did he kiss you after he ate you out? Does he kiss you after you blow him?"
"Yeah," she asked in slight confusion and her cheeks burned with slight embarrassment, "What does that matter?"
"He's a keeper," Cheryl informed her with sly smile, "When a man kisses you after all of that, he's in love. You're getting a wedding proposal tonight, girlie."
"He hasn't told me he's loved me yet," she revealed with a sigh, "but I haven't told him that I love him yet either. Maybe tonight is the night we will finally tell each other those three little words."
"So you would say yes?"
She giggled at the question and replied, "Do you even need to know the answer to that question because I think you already know it."
...
Frederick smiled as he watched Carolyn sip at her white wine as she gazed at the beautiful décor of the very expensive restaurant that Hannibal Lecter had suggested to him weeks before. Perfumed roses wafted in the air around them and chamber music played somewhere in the distance as they dined at a table in the middle of the eating establishment.
Her dress was deep dark red, a dress that he had bought for her and sent to her while she had been working. He had known that the dress would make that beautiful shine in her eyes pop, and he hadn't been wrong. It was simple in style just like she preferred.
The dress fit her like a glove and showed off all the right things in all the right places. As he looked at her in the knee length dress, his thoughts strayed to the white slip that he had shoved up around her hips during their pleasant encounter that morning. He tried to keep those thoughts at bay. He didn't want to think about the beautiful moans that she had made because of him while sitting at a table in a very crowded restaurant.
"Do you like the dress," he asked as they waited for their food to be brought to them.
"I love it, Frederick," she replied with a thankful smile, "but you really didn't have to get me a new dress. I have plenty, and it was far too expensive."
He smiled at her as he took another sip of his own wine and said in a matter of fact tone, "I saw it. I thought of you. I bought it for you."
"And it's not that I'm not thankful for it," she answered as she lightly touched the hems of the skirt of the dress, "it's just you don't have to buy me things all the time."
"It's not all the time," he answered with a shy smile, he wanted to smooth this situation out before it got any messier, "it's for your birthday. I thought you deserved to have a new dress."
"I'm not mad at you," he heard her say with a clear voice, "I just don't want people to get the wrong impression of me what with you buying me all of these things."
Frederick felt a pang of guilt bubble through him. He'd never thought about what other people would have thought about her. The only person that had made a big deal over him dating a waitress was Abel Gideon.
"Well I hope you don't hate me, but I did get you something else," he informed her as he dug into his pocket. He watched her carefully and he could see her breath catch in her chest.
He watched as her lip trembled as he dug deeper into his pocket, purposely making her sit on the edge of her seat in anticipation. He wanted to see the effect that the suspense had on her.
"What is it," she asked with a slow growing smile.
"You'll see," he replied as he pulled a small, sealed pink envelope out of his pocket and slid it across the small table towards her.
He watched with a proud smile as she opened the envelope. He watched as she smiled as she read the front of the Hallmark card that he had chosen for her a week ago. He watched as the small white receipt fell from the card and into her lap. His heart beat with anticipation for her to discover what he had done for her.
"What's this," he heard her ask as she picked the paper up and looked at it with curiosity in her eyes and a large smile on her lips.
"What is this Frederick," she asked, her voice was flat and void of any emotion as she glared at the receipt that had been placed within the folds of her birthday card.
Frederick watched in confusion as her smile faded, the shine in her eyes faded, and her brows furrowed.
"I thought I could help you out," he admitted and a small smile that painted his face from uncomfortableness, "but from seeing that look on your face that you are-"
"I told you that I didn't need your help," she interrupted him flatly.
He could feel the daggers that she was throwing at him as she glared at him.
"It was just-"
"I told you that I didn't need your help with this Frederick," she informed him again.
"Yes I know, but," he tried to explain as a sense of shame and worry came over him. He'd never seen her become so angry with him before. They had had their little spats in the past, but this was something completely different. He'd never seen the shine in her eyes fade away so quickly.
Fear started to bubble inside of him.
"Then why did you pay off my tuition, Frederick? I told you that I was taking care of it," she informed him.
He watched as her bottom lip trembled as she tried so desperately to keep the angry tears that were forming in her eyes from falling in front of him.
"Is that what's this been about," he heard her whisper, "Do you get off on buying things for me because I'm just a waitress. Is that what this is," she shook her head as a tear betrayed her and fell down her cheek and landed upon the tuition receipt, "God! I should have known that a man like you could never actually be in love with some stupid, poor waitress like me."
He watched helplessly as he listened to her voice crack from the need to sob. He felt horribly ashamed of himself.
"I was right," she said as she stood from the table, "I was such an idiot to believe that our stations in life don't matter."
"Carolyn," he heard himself say, his own voice cracked as he looked up at her, tears filled his own eyes as he watched her try so bravely to keep her head held high, "that's not true. I-"
"No," she whispered as she held her hand out to him and grabbed her purse, "I'm leaving," she shook her head at him, "Don't call me, Frederick."
Frederick watched helplessly as she turned her back on him and hurried out of the restaurant. He could feel the eyes of the patrons looking at him. They hadn't heard what she had said to him because she had been soft with her words, but they had seen her crying and leaving the table in a hurry. He could feel their judgmental eyes and could hear their whispers to each other.
He'd never felt like a bigger idiot than he did at this moment. He'd finally screwed it up with her like he had hoped would never happen. He'd screwed up and he didn't know how he was going to get her back. He never had gotten the chance to tell her how much he loved her and now he would never have that chance.
She had entered his life and had disappeared just as quickly as she had appeared, and she had left him with the check at a restaurant just like all the others had done to him.
He felt like kicking himself for letting himself believe that things could really change for the better for him. He'd been the biggest fool, and he had been the biggest idiot for letting her walk out on him.
...
Carolyn allowed the tears to fall freely down her cheeks as she made her way quickly down the empty street. Only a few stragglers and late night workers scurried by her as she fiddled with her cell phone. Her hands shook as she tried dialing Cheryl's number.
"Come on Cheryl," she whispered through the sobs as the phone rang, "Pick up. Pick up. Pick up!"
The call went to voice mail and she groaned in anger. She felt like throwing her cell phone into the brick walls of the buildings that she passed. She looked around and sighed. There were no taxis in sight for her to take home.
She was lost in the middle of Baltimore with no way home. She didn't want to have to go back to Frederick like a dog with its tail between its legs just to get a ride home. She had more pride than that.
"Fuck," she cried as she pulled her jacket closer to her body as the cold wind blew through the street.
"Ms. Long," she heard a familiar, foreign voice say from beside her.
Carolyn turned quickly to see Dr. Lecter standing at his car with a brown grocery bag that had little green leaves peeking out the top of it.
"What are you doing in the streets at this time of night," he asked, "without Dr. Chilton?"
She walked closer towards him and bit at her trembling lip in an attempt to calm her nerves. She had only met the man once, but something about him lured her to him. He was a friend of Frederick's so she knew that she could trust him to take her home if he would.
"We broke up," she said with a shaky tone. She wiped the tears from her face and smiled, "I'm such an idiot to think that…"
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as she looked around the city as the cold wind blew through them both.
"May I drive you home," Hannibal offered.
"I couldn't ask you to do that," she heard herself answer out of politeness, "I've been trying to get in touch with a girlfriend from work. If she'll ever answer the phone, she could pick me up."
"I insist that you allow me to drive you home," Hannibal continued as he opened the passenger door for her and held it open for her.
"I don't want you to have to go out of your way, Dr. Lecter," she confessed.
"It's no trouble at all, Ms. Long," Hannibal answered before he told her a lie, "Frederick is a friend, and as such I couldn't let the one woman that he cares about to be alone on the street in the middle of the night."
"Thank you," she said as she gave him a soft smile, "This is awful nice of you, Doctor."
"And perhaps on the way to your home, we could talk about Frederick."
"Is it going to cost me by the hour," she asked with a soft chuckle, thankful for the good doctor at the moment.
"Not at all," he answered with a smile as she sat in the passenger seat, "I know how feisty Frederick's tongue can be. It's gotten him in trouble before."
"Well," she said as she shyly thought about the things that Frederick had done with his tongue that morning, "it wasn't his tongue that got him in trouble. It was his wallet."
"Let me just put my ingredients in the trunk and we'll continue this conversation on the way to your home," Hannibal informed her as he shut the passenger door.
As the car drive went on, the two talked about Frederick. Hannibal had reasoned with her that Frederick was the type of man that simply just wanted the best and that he had only tried to make her happy with the only thing that he knew how to make people happy with.
"I suppose you're right," she heard herself tell him, "I don't think I overreacted though. I had told him not to pay my tuition, and he did it anyways."
"And I'm very sorry for you Carolyn," he informed her.
She turned to him and looked at him with slight confusion in her tired, tearstained eyes, "Why are you sorry?"
"For what's going to happen to you."
Carolyn felt the confusion grow inside of her mind as she watched him stop at the red light.
"What's going to happen to me, Dr. Lecter," she asked as she watched him for any clear sign of danger.
She didn't see the danger until it was too late. She felt his hands against her head as he slammed her head into the window multiple times until her world went black and her life was placed in Hannibal Lecter's hands.
Did I lie?!