DESPERATION

She had droven home much too fast and as she finally closed the door behind her she wasn't able to hold her tears back anymore. There also was no need to do - 'cos now she was totaly alone.

Totaly alone. Would she always be? As she had married Kurt, she had thaught that she finally found the right one. That she finally found the one she belong to. That she finally found her home. But no? She came home - to an empty apartment - and she was sure: That was how it'd always be.

Tears were falling down her cheeks. She covered her mouth as she started to sob loudly. She started crying out loud. She felt so terribly hurt. She felt desperate. What was she about to do now? How should she even be able to handle this situation?

She went to the kitchen. A drink would help her right now. She took the scotch from the shelf and a glas. She didn't drink one, but three glasses of it before she felt herself near a break down. She rested herself against the counter, taking her right hand to her forehad as she felt the heat rise inside of her. How could he do this to her? How could he betray her? Wasn't he always telling her how much he loved her? How could he tell her such things when he was in fact cheating on her? Was he even thinking about her as he told her? Or was he thinking about this young Holly Westfall as he told her that he loved her? As he was near to her, as he was holding her, as he was kissing her, as he was making love to her?

Love - even the word made Diane laugh right now. Could this be love? Did you betray a person you loved? She didn't think so. How long was this going? Had he been cheating from the very begining of their marriage? Or had she become too old for him? Did he feel like he needed a younger and more beautiful woman?

As she thaught about the duration of this affair another thought came to her mind: Was this affair over yet? Or did it still last? Did he intend to move in with her, play the loving husband, but go and visit his little girlfriend form time to time?

All of this made Diane so terribly sad - but so, so angry at the same time! She took the glas and threw it against the wall on her right side. The glas hit the doorframe and got broken. Diane started screaming. She was feeling desperate and didn't know what to do right now. She turned herself around like she was looking of an idea what to do next that was standing inside of this room. She teared her hair and couldn't stop crying. Was this her life? Had she just been living a lie? Wasn't Kurt better than guys like Peter Florrick?

She decided that keeping her countenance - or what was left of it - would be best right now. She took another sip out of the bottle of scotch, then put it back on the counter. She stoppe crying, straightened up, adjusted her coat and scirt. She walked out of the kitchen. She didn't know how long it would take until he would arrive at her place. There was a lot to do.

xxxxx

As Kurt was driving home to her apartment he didn't have a lot of luck with the traffic. Regularly he had to stopp on traffic light and on places without. He hooted a lot. He had to get to her place - as fast as possible! He was very impatiened. He needed to talk with her - as fast as possible!

xxxxx

As he had finally made it there she had already left. She wasn't there anymore.

"Diane?", he screamed down the hall. "Diane, where are you? Come on! We need to talk!"

He walked through the whole apartment, calling her name again and again. "I am... I am so sorry, babe!"

As he walked into the kitchen he saw a paper on the counter.

Kurt,

I am out of town for a while. I don't know when I will be back.

But when I will be, I do not want you to be around anymore.

Please back your bags and leave.

I hope you understand that I can't talk to you - not yet.

Take the black suitcase.

Diane

He stared at the paper and couldn't believe it. Was she expelling him? Where was she? They had to talk. He had to... he had to try to apologies. He loved her. He needed to tell her that he loved her. Bu he didn't know where she was or where she could be. As he looked around the room he recognized the scotch standing near to him. He also saw the broken glas on the floor. He decided to clean it up. He could only try to imagine what she felt like right now. As he had seen her in court... she had looked so hurt, so... so very sad. But he knew Diane. He knew that she'd also be angry. And he could understand her. Thinking about what he had done to her... it felt terrible even thinking about it.