Chapter 20:
"Does your shoulder still hurt?"
"A little… but I'll live"
Michonne ran her hands back and forth through Rick's slightly damp hair, gently massaging his scalp with her fingertips. Every little movement she made would cause the gentle scent of from his coconut shampoo to waft through the air. His arms were wrapped firmly around her waist, and his head rested between her bare breasts, as their legs intertwined, laying comfortably in her bed.
"So… Carl?"
He hummed a response, "What about him?"
"...Have you considered him in all this? How he'd feel?"
He gave a little nod, "I have, and I think I need to tread carefully with that… I don't want him to get the wrong idea"
She frowned, rolling her gaze from the ceiling to the top of his head, "The wrong idea?"
"Yeah…", He lifted his head to look at her, "I kind of got involved with someone here when we first came… and it didn't turn out well"
She narrowed her eyes as she tried to figure out who it could be, "...The blonde?"
He gave a small, single nod, "Yeah"
"I could see that…"
"Well, I'm trying to be a little more considerate this time around, and I don't want him to think that this is somethan' I'm taking lightly. Especially since the two of you have your own little club going"
She snickered at him, "Jealous?"
He snorted at her, "Of course I am… you know you could come by the house right? If you wanted to? I think he'd like that"
She tried to keep her expression neutral, "I'm not against the idea… it's just I haven't really been around any... tiny people... in a while"
He squinted at her for a second, before realising what it was she meant, "Is that somethan' you're trying to avoid?"
"Not actively", her eyes sailed off behind him, "Just haven't had to be around one"
He pursed his lips as he studied her, trying to read her, "It's that somethan' you wanna try out?"
She smirked as her gaze found his again, "Try out? Like a trial period?"
"You know what I mean… you can just start off small… like being in the same room as her for a while?"
She found his efforts to help her combat her fear of infants endearing, though the subject still brought pressure on her chest, "I'll have to give that a try one day"
"When you're ready just let me know"
"I will", She span her finger around a rogue curl at the back of his head as she sighed.
"...So you wanna go up to the Sanctuary soon?"
"Yeah. I asked Daryl if we could head in that direction… I need to see how Dwight's doing"
"Yeah? When do you plan on doing that, then?"
"Next couple days?... I want to speak to Negan before I go"
He tensed against her as his voice lowered, "Are you worried about how that will go?"
"No. I just need to get it over with…"
He nodded slowly before laying his head back down on her, "Alright."
She knew what to expect from Negan to a degree. She knew the man could be vicious with his words on a daily basis, but even more so when he was angry, and having nothing else to do would enable him to stew in his fury.
The next day she made her way over to the basement after finishing a shift at the gates. She was more than happy to stand watch in the mornings, as that was her proffered time of the day, and she had noticed others didn't share the same sentiments, especially Rick. She found his tired expression to be quite adorable, and she would have loved the opportunity to see him first thing in the morning, with tousled hair and puffy eyes. She had to settle with his late evening visits for the time being.
Michonne shut the front door once Bruce was over the threshold before turning back to Negan's cell. She felt uncharacteristically nauseous as she prepared to see the man, but she was sure to wear a stoic expression regardless. She faced the chair towards the cell door and sat down, watching him as he watched her from his crouched position, finished with his workout.
"Ah, I thought I heard the devil's whisper", Negan snickered, one corner of his mouth curling upwards, "You took your sweet time coming back here, didn't you?"
"I was busy", She wanted to keep her replies short, as she knew him well enough to know that he would only half listen in his rage.
"Oh, I bet you were. I know all about you now. So what, you scared to come in here today?"
She rolled her eyes, "Left the key at home"
"Isn't that convenient?"
"I guess it is"
He slowly stood up straight, and strolled towards the bars, "Do you like looking at me like this? Do you like seeing me like this 'Chonne?"
"You're dangerous. You have to be in there"
He nodded as if he were being understanding, "I have to ask, did your little piece of rat shit boyfriend tell you that?"
She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked up at him from her seat, making no attempt to answer him.
"So what? Were you kissing on his neck or something? Huh? Stroking that fucking grey bush on his face?"
Still, she said nothing, continuing to blink at him.
His tipped his head forward, resting it against the steel, "Have you been fucking around with him since the beginning of all this? Were you sucking on his neck back then to?"
She sighed as she let her gaze roam the wall.
"Come on, tell me. Tell me how long you've been a fucking weasel for?"
She raised an eyebrow at him, knowing he was just warming up.
"Now I've got your attention", He sniggered, "Oh, how you've changed. You used to be a loyal woman. You knew where you stood and no one could tell you different… and now look? Look at you? Do you even know where you stand? Do you know what you even stand for?"
"I've never forgotten where or what I stand for-"
"Bullshit!", He roared, his eyes bulging as he glared at her, "You sit there and you say that, but when push comes to shove, it's me you're against! Me! After all I did for you, this is the thanks I get?! You cut off my hand and put me in here and tell me it's me that's dangerous?! You put me in a position to have to fight you, when I have never laid a fucking finger on you before! And even then I still held back! Just so you can go fuck the that son of a bitch farmer in peace?!"
"You know that's not the reason I put you in there-"
He crouched down again so he could look her in the eye, "You're dangerous. You know why? Because you're a fucking wolf in sheep's clothing. You are 'Chonne. You're running around with those fuckwits as if you're one of them, but the fact of the matter is, look what you've done to me? I'm meant to be your partner, but look at where I am at right now? And this is because of you! How can they trust you, when you so readily turned against me? You're weasel for that 'Chonne"
She glowered, "Are you done?"
"I can almost smell him off you", He tilted his head at her, "You still haven't told me when all that started? When did you start fucking the enemy, huh? When did you decide to become the kind of treacherous dog, I hate?"
"I am not going to talk about him with you", she bit out, "So drop it"
Negan's face pinched, as he stood up again, "Well listen to you! Protecting that shitty little cowboy now? Aw!...You make me fucking sick! You really fucking do, do you know that? Just looking at you right now, it makes my ass itch to know that I trusted you at one point. I almost forgave you, too. But you don't deserve any of that anymore. You're disloyal. You're a termite. You're weak. I could go on for days-"
"I won't come back here if you don't calm down-"
"You think I want you to come here again?! I'd rather have a bunch of flea infested rats come down here! But then that would be no different to you now would it?", His eyes flashed with anger as he rested his arms through the bars, "I made you. I did. I made you. You were crying on the side of the Goddamn road when I found you. Walking around with your son, hog tied, so he wouldn't nibble on your ass. You were barely even a person when I got there. I didn't even know which one of you was a corpse. I fought for you. I fucking protected you. I made sure no one laid a finger on you. I fed you! I cleaned you! I saved your fucking life! I made you! You'd have been in the bottom of a corpse's stomach if it wasn't for me! And I didn't have to do any of that, but I did, I did because I pitied you. You were worthless and I gave your life. Look how you turned on me? Look how you turned on the only person that even bothered to give you the time of day? You think any of those people would have done that? You think your little fucktard boyfriend would have done all that for you? Huh? He probably would have left you. They all probably would have left you, but still you side with them now… you're pathetic, you're disgusting, and I should have left you to wallow in your own self-pity"
She decided she had heard enough, as his venomous words had pierced her like no other, so she slowly rose from her seat, "Goodbye Negan-"
Michonne was unaware of what happened, until she felt it difficult to breath. Negan's large hand gripped her throat through the bars, and he watched her with dark eyes as she dug her nails into his arms.
"Look at what you did to us", He growled through gritted teeth, "You did this. You put us here. You pushed me here, and now you have to see how dangerous I really am"
"Get- off!", She choked out, resting one of her feet against the bars and pushing her upper body away from him.
"You think I'm gonna let that piece of dog shit have you? Huh?", He tilted his head as he watched her struggle for air, "I'd break you first. I'd break you with my bare hand before I'd let that happen"
She brought her other foot up against the bars and pushed away with all her might, and the man couldn't hold on to her anymore. His nails tore the skin of her neck as she dropped to the floor, coughing as she was allowed to breath freely. She was beside herself with pure shock as she looked back up at him.
His chest heaved up and down, his dark eyes rolling away from her, "Get out! Now!"
She watched him as she found her footing, stunned by his attack, "That's why you're in there!"
She flung open the front door to the basement and stormed out, ignoring the guards calls for her. She marched up the steps and went straight to her home, ignoring the stinging pain that radiated from her neck.
As soon as she held her katana in her hand, she stomped back outside, heading to the gates. Residents in the streets eyed her sceptically but none of them attempted to stop her, with most giving her a wide berth to pass.
"What's going on-"
"Let me out", She demanded, not bothering to make eye contact with Rosita.
"Uh, what for-"
Michonne ignored her, no longer in the mood to speak, and instead she threw her sword between the space in the bars, and began to climb up.
"Hey! What the hell are you doing?!", Rosita quizzed with wide, alarmed eyes, "Where are you going?!"
She continued to ignore her, throwing her leg over the top of the gate and holding on to the bars as she slid to the ground. She reached down and snatched her sword from the concrete, then continue to march down the street.
All she wanted to do was release the anger she felt with some exercise, the kind of exercise that cleared her mind, and to her luck, there were three walkers dotted in the street. She would have preferred a herd, but she had to take what she could get. She swung her blade purposefully, with more momentum than necessary, but it had a soothing effect on her. It was how she found her release, since gone were the days she could just take a stroll around the block.
The three walkers she killed helped to some degree, but not enough. Negan's words still rung out in her head, clear as a bell. She could still see the look in his eyes as he tried to take her life from her, and she could liken it to the sort of thing nightmares were made of.
A familiar chorus of low growls came from in the trees, and she stopped dead in her tracks. She could see the silhouettes of several walkers making their way towards her and she paced herself, getting a firm grip on her handle with both hands.
Seven in total emerged and she stepped back to allow herself some space. The first one was easy, as it was the most decayed of the bunch, so her blade passed through his head with ease. She all but danced around them, taking out one at a time, her fury seeping away with every move she made. If it wasn't for the bullet that took out the last walker before her sword could, she would have been proud of herself.
Carl lowered his gun, with his brow furrowed beneath his hat. She immediately calmed, realising that he was outside the walls with her, and not liking that fact at all.
"Come on", She muttered, resting her hand on his shoulder to get him to walk.
"No, what happened?", He didn't move.
"Nothing, I just needed some fresh air-"
"What happened to your neck? You're bleeding? Did one of them get you?!-"
"No!", She hissed, "It was an accident, now come on, I'll tell you about it once we're back inside, okay?"
His eyes seemed to dart all over her face as if he were searching for the truth, "Alright. Fine."
She almost frog marched him back to the gates, where to her dismay, Rick was stood, along with Daryl, Rosita, Sasha and Abraham. She didn't want to have to explain herself, especially in front of an audience, but the look on Rick's face told her that she wouldn't get out of this so easily.
"You, home, now", He barked at Carl, before turning to Michonne, "And you, come with me"
The defiant side of her was tempted to stay on the other side of the gate, but she still followed him as he stalked up the street. To say she felt like a naughty child, would have been an understatement. She realised he was leading her to her home, and she felt less like a child and more like a teenager about to be put on punishment. She hoped that wasn't the case, as she didn't take any kind of reprimand well.
He near enough ripped her front door off its hinges when he opened it, and she trudged in behind him, stopping in the hallway as he slammed it and began to pace like a caged animal, "What was that?"
"I needed some air", She huffed, resting one hand on her hip.
"You needed some air? Are we running out of that in here?", He mocked, looking her dead in the eye.
"I went out. Killed a few walkers. That's it"
"You climbed over the gate to kill a few walkers?"
"I needed to cool off"
"You needed to cool off? So you hopped the fence to kill a few walkers?", the more he repeated it, the more ridiculous it sounded.
"Just like that"
His gaze stumbled upon her scratches, and he stopped pacing, "Did that happen outside?"
"No", She shook her head, "It was an accident"
He tilted his head in an eerily slow way, "How?"
"Look, I'm sorry about Carl, I didn't know he would come out-"
"What. Happened?", He bit out. His eyes appeared cloudy as he leered at her, waiting for her to explain her injury. It didn't take long for him to figure out who could have possibly inflicted them, and it was evident in the blank expression he soon wore, "Did he- did he do that to you? Did Negan do that?"
She grabbed hold of his arm, "I can look after myself-"
He snatched his arm away from her, and stepped towards the door.
"Rick! No! We had a deal! Don't go back-"
"I told you, when you started living here, that if he hurts anyone, including you, then he's dead. I let you take full control over anythan' to do with him to minimise the chances of that happening, but I've still had to let a lot of thangs slide because of you! I let what he did to Tyreese slide, because of you! I let him live after breaking out, because of you! But if you can't handle him anymore then it's time I take over!"
"No!"
"What did he do? Did he grab you? We're you in there with him?!", He quizzed angrily.
"No!", She yelled back, rage pulsing through her all over again, "He didn't do anything worse than he did before!"
He retrieved his gun from his belt as his other hand grabbed the door handle, and Michonne felt she had no choice but to stop him.
He froze when he felt the cool steel of her blade by his neck, his head tipping a fraction to peak at it. He shoved the door closed before turning to face her with a dark expression.
She didn't change her stance, her blade still shadowed him as she breathed, "Don't do this"